The Absence of Chloe
by ChlarkCandy
Summary: After the events in 'Wrath' and Clark's willingness to overlook Lana's involvement; can Chloe continue to stand by his side as his loyal supportive best friend? It not, how will Clark manage? What will happen to him in the absence of Chloe? CHLARK ALWAYS
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I hate to admit it. But Chlark do not belong to me. Neither do any of the SV characters. It's sad, I know.

**Note**: This is so a Chlark story. So if you are not a Chlarker/Chloiser or general Chloe fan. Be warned!

* * *

**Message from VicStone:**

Watchtower glad to see your still with us. Rcvd msg from Boyscout earlier this week. Close call huh? Don't forget your friends on this side too.

**Message from Csully:**

Ah! I think you like me Vic. It would go straight to my head.

**Message from VicStone**

Seriously. Sully there is only one you. We need you. Remember there is nothing wrong with being different. Think of all the good you can do for the cause.

**Message from Csully**

Thanks. I guess I didn't think it all the way through. This new part of me just takes some getting used to. I would never want to forget you guys.

**Message from VicStone**

Hey don't let Impulse here you say that, he's already planning the engagement.

**Message from Csully**

sigh Well the way things are going I might just take him up on his offer.

**Message from VicStone**

Boyscout still clueless?

**Message from Csully**

cough Not clueless. I don't think it would make a difference either way

**Message from VicStone**

Hellya it would. Man if I were him……sigh Maybe you should tell him.

**Message from Csully**

HA! I knew you loved me.

**Message from VicStone**

What's not to love?

**Message from Csully**

…you do wonders for my ego

**Message from VicStone**

Seriously

**Message from Csully**

My ego thanks you.

**Message from VicStone**

You should still tell him.

**Message from Csully**

Trust me farm boy has enough relationship angst as it is with out adding unrequited feelings into the mix.

**Message from VicStone**

What's up? Thought he was riding high with the princess?

**Message from Csully**

Lets just say, the princess hasn't fallen far from the Luthor tree.

**Message from VicStone**

Meaning?

**Message from Csully**

Meaning…there is more to her than meets the eye. And boy scout and I found out the hard way. It's been a difficult 2 days to say the least.

**Message from VicStone**

??

**Message from Csully**

Ever wonder what you would do if you had Supes abilities? Well some of us don't have to. And hell hath no fury….with added super kick

**Message from Vicstone**

Please tell me your not saying what I think

**Message from Csully**

Well there's never a boring day in Smallville….but don't worry everything is back to normal.

**Message from VicStone**

sighs in relief

**Message from Csully**

Yeah well, I'm not so forgiving

**Message from VicStone**

Where does boy scout stand in the aftermath?

**Message from Csully**

Can't really tell, haven't spoken to him in few hrs. But judging from our earlier convo he's more forgiving than I.

**Message from VicStone**

Ah well, love is blind.

**Message from Csully**

Don't remind me.

**Message from VicStone**

Sorry.

**Message from Csully**

Don't be. Right now I have too much going on to even deal with their never ending drama. Which reminds me, I need to speak with Ollie, I need some Star Labs assistance. I found out some interesting things about my infection.

**Message from VicStone**

Is it contagious? JK So it was more than a memory wipe and near death experience huh?

**Message from Csully**

Freak out aside…. Apparently the green stuff is concentrated in my heart.

**Message from VicStone**

It's not fatal is it?

**Message from Csully**

On the contrary, I may live a very long long LONG life. Did I mention long? I think I left one out.

**Message from VicStone**

Are you saying your immortal.

**Message from Csully**

I wouldn't say that…I don't think….Could I be? Well Maybe.

**Message from VicStone**

Wow!!

**Message from Csully**

Well anyway, I want a check up with Star Labs, hopefully they can fill in the blanks

**Message from VicStone**

Ollie's away on Queen business, should be back in a couple days.

**Message from Csully**

Didn't know he went anywhere without his Justice entourage.

**Message from VicStone**

HA! Funny.

**Message from Csully**

Thought you boys were attached at the hip. You should start a boy band.

**Message from VicStone**

You could be our manager.

**Message from Csully**

That would be so cool. No groupies though. I get jealous easy.

**Message from VicStone**

Ah. Then what's the point.

**Message from Csully**

Guess you better stick to saving the world then…..But do I still get to be the manager?

**Message from VicStone**

Anything for you Watchtower…..

**Message from Csully**

Look, I have to prepare for the mind numbing Boyscout debriefing. I'm pretty sure he'll be by soon. Post crisis ritual and all that.

**Message from VicStone**

And I have to finish this download to my system….Keep me informed. I'll blow Impulse a kiss for you.

**Message from Csully**

LOL. Yeah, please do that. Later

_**Csully has signed out **_


	2. Pre Day 1 of Confusion

From her comfortable position on the sofa, Chloe sighs, placing her laptop on the coffee table in front of her. Stretching her tired muscles she makes her way to the kitchenette to begin brewing her third batch of life sustaining java. Leaning against the counter watching the dark liquid drain into a growing pool, her mind recounts her last encounter with Lana. Unfortunately she can't really blame Clark for his naiveté where Lana's concerned. Even she didn't see this coming. Though lately she's been left wondering about Lana and her actions, she never thought she was capable of going so far. Holding Lionel hostage, torturing him…that's just a bit much. Can't be mad she tried to kill Lex though, but still; isn't it about Justice? But the worst for Chloe, is attacking Clark and more importantly her cousin Lois. Just the thought of it makes Chloe seethe, unconsciously she slams her mug down on the counter; shattering the defenseless cup to bits and spilling the remains of her cooled vice.

"Shit"

She grabs a towel to clean the mess, succeeding only in furthering the chaos in her mental preoccupation. As she absently wipes the counter the memory reels keep turning. Months; for months Lana's been hiding her machinations behind the good intentions of the Isis Foundation.

"And I've been helping her. Damnit! She used me!..." She breathes. "'Please don't tell Clark' she says. 'He'll say it's too dangerous' she says. Your suspicions are all in your imagination' she says. Bitch! And I fell for it hook line and sinker. Trusty Ole' Chloe, everyone's secret keeper. Good reporter, even better liar. UGH!" She throws the dish towel to the floor abandoning her fruitless efforts at cleaning up.

What's worse even is the end of a long friendship held since 9th grade. Though through out the years it has been rocky at best; what with the Lang-Kent-Sullivan triangle; but they were still friends and at one time even like sisters. But no more. That ended today. No matter what decision Clark makes about Miss Luthor-Lang, to Chloe the damage is irreversible.

"_What the text book left out is that Isis is also the goddess of the underworld. She's responsible for bringing the great god Ra to his knees."_

"_You believe that I would do that to Clark"_

"_Not intentionally." Chloe shakes her head. "But I realize now that your capable of it." She pauses briefly, whether to assess Lana's reaction or to internally confirm the finality of their friendship, Chloe is unsure. "You should just know that I'm not gonna let that happen." _

As if on cue a knock at the door startles Chloe out of her reverie. She glances at the clock on the microwave. 9:30. Going to the door she lets Clark in.

"A bit early for Conan isn't it? I wasn't really expecting you for another hour or so." Too despondent to greet the tiny blonde, Clark walks past her towards the sofa, she follows him examining his slumped form. "But after our recent trip into the psyche of Lex's mini me, I can't say I'm surprised."

Clark sighs heavily leaning forward cupping his hands in his lap as she continues. "Ok, maybe not mini me, but I guess becoming a Luthor wasn't in name only."

Clark looks to her casting a pleading eye and breathes out, "Chloe please" before once again boring holes into his hands.

Chloe relents, raising her hands in submission she takes a seat beside him and tucks her legs beneath her, "Fine. So how bad was it?" She asks laying a comforting hand on his lap offering her silent support.

"Not good" Clark confirms redirecting his concentration from his solid hands to hers. For an unidentifiable reason her simple touch offers more than comfort for him. Until this moment he didn't realize that he even needed it, that he almost craved it. A minute passes as the tightened coils inside him relax. Glancing at his blonde friend he asks. "Chlo, do you think somehow I may be responsible for this?"

"By responsible you mean, strategically positioning yourself and Lana around kryptonite and calling down freak lightning to transfer your powers to her?" With exaggerated coddling she rubs his thigh and gives it a brief pat before removing her hand and placing it in her own lap. "Then yeah, you're a whole world of responsible Kent." she says sarcastically.

Rolling his eyes at her satire yet also feeling the loss of her touch, Clark smiles wryly, "You know what I mean."

"No actually Clark, I don't." She tilts her head to the side.

Seeing her hair feather onto her bare shoulder Clark fleetingly wonders if it tickles her, he shakes his head to regain focus. Then bows his head again in fascinating examination of his hands before he speaks. "When I went to Lex," Chloe snorts in exasperation which he chooses to ignore, any less of a response just really wouldn't be Chloe. "Basically he suggested that my secrets started Lana's downward spiral." He looks back to Chloe with hopeful eyes. Whether hoping she agrees or hoping she doesn't, Clark's not quite sure. "Do you think that may be true?"

Chloe pauses momentarily searching his eyes to find out whether he truly believed that or not, before she breathes her response. "No."

"No?" He asks with incredulity. "That's it? Just 'No'?"

Taking a deep breath she then goes onto clarify, "Yeah, I mean. You've kept your secret from me for years Clark and you don't see me taking a nose dive into the underworld. Sure your secret keeping did nothing but peak my curiosity, " a knowing smile pulls at the corners of his lips, "…and yeah, sure I'm not proud of trying to investigate you. But honestly when it came down to it. Your friendship was too important to me. Much more important than whatever you were keeping from me. And allowing my suspicion to ruin that….that just wasn't a chance I was willing to take." At Clark's warm appreciative look she back peddles fast; it's definitely not the time to melt. "But this is not about that. You know Lex will say anything to try to get under your steel skin Clark. Whatever Lana's reasons, I'm pretty sure her fascination with uncovering the truth about you had little or nothing to do with it."

Letting out the breath he was holding, he didn't realize how much he depended on her answer; Clark leans back resting his head on the top of the sofa, focusing on the ceiling and responds, "Yeah I guess you're right. But part of me can't help but feel like it's somehow my fault."

"Well I think that part is going through moping withdrawal." She offers a bright smile.

Clark chuckles lightly while turning his head to watch her, "Chloe.."

"I mean, come on Clark since Lana's resurrection, I think you've been missing severe doses of your brooding regiment."

He out right laughs, "Chloe! Seriously."

"Ok seriously…." Chloe's smile fades as she takes a deep breath in preparation. "I think you want to take on the responsibility of this. I think you don't want to believe that Lana could consciously do what she did. And if you are somehow to blame, then your pure image of her is still intact."

Lifiting his head, Clark silently stares at her for a heart stopping moment, taking in his best friends analysis. Not sure if she's said to much, Chloe becomes uncomfortable under his penetrating blue-green gaze. Attempting to end the scrutiny, she gets up and goes to the kitchen to continue cleaning the mess she created and more importantly needing another fix of coffee before the conversation gets any deeper. Entering the kitchen she takes a deep breath in an effort to gain perspective and reign in her growing anger. With a trembling hand she grabs two mugs from the cabinets scooping multiple clumps of sugar into her cup with extra ordinary care.

While Chloe tries to redirect focus in the kitchen, Clark remains on the sofa endeavoring to absorb the truth in what she's said. Not for the first time he's heard that tonight. Mentally he agrees that it can be a reasonable assumption, but if that's true, if this is someway not his fault, then Lana... Clark's voice filters into the kitchen. "You know what you said Chloe… that's exactly what Lana said tonight."

Not even trying to hide her incredulity she responds with bitterness pouring the coffee into the mugs, hers with heavy cream, "Really? I wasn't even aware the princess was capable of carrying responsibility…." With both filled mugs in hand she reenters the living room placing Clark's on the table in front of him, "That must have been back-breaking work. I suppose….all that ownership cargo and all, It can be heavy if your not used to it?"

Clark sighs in exasperation, "Chloe come on….."

She reclaims her seat again tucking her legs under her, "I'm sorry Clark, it's just a little frustrating what with everyone making excuses for the choices she makes."

"Again that's kind of what she said."

Chloe freezes mid sip, "Huh.." She lowers her cup and brushes her hair behind her ear. "My interest is now genuinely peaked. Please do tell Clark."

The big alien snorts looking at her with pure skepticism , "I'm kind of trying to….but the running commentary never stops."

Nodding in understanding she concedes, "Officially shutting up now." and waves her hand for him to continue.

"Well.." he glances away taking a breath, "..when I spoke to her tonight. She said just that. That...that I was trying to take the blame so that I didn't ruin the image I created of her in my mind." He looks back to Chloe gauging her reaction before he goes on. At her knowing nod he sighs. "Then she said she had to deal with the choices she made..."

Chloe cuts him off, "Verbatim wow. I'm Impressed." At Clark's glare she relents, "Sorry."

He rolls his eyes, "Anyway, she says she has to deal with that but...but" Chloe snorts knowing there just had to be a 'but', Clark ignores it. "..but she just needed to know that I loved her...no matter what." Clark once again stares at his hands awaiting whatever Chloe has to say.

After a moment of silence, she allows his words to sink in, realizing he was done, Chloe stills before asking the question she really wasn't sure if she wanted the answer to. "Do you?"

Clark's answer was quick, concise... and heart-breaking. "Of course."

She nods once swallowing hard with an attempt to dislodge the growing knot in her stomach, while also blinking back the emotion forming behind her eyes. So he loves Lana, that hasn't changed. She shrugs mentally. But no matter how many times he says it, it never gets old. And the effects are always the same, breaking her heart anew. "Wow!" 'No matter what' that's what he said, 'No matter what', now that's definitely a new one. She breathes shaking her head. "I mean, I didn't think you would stop loving her or anything, it's just.." She swallows again at the sudden dryness in her throat, the cooling coffee forgotten in her hands. "..after everything that happened, I just thought maybe your perspective may have changed a little." Wishful thinking I guess, she finishes with silently.

He looks up meeting her gaze head on, "Trust me, it has." Chloe watches him intently waiting for him to elaborate as he moves to grab his coffee from the table and takes a sip. Grimacing at the coolness he sends a shot from his heat vision to warm it up. He looks over at Chloe, whom for her part has been dumbly staring at him. His silent offer to warm her mug, jars her from her anticipatory stupor, she hands him her mug as well. Again he does the neat glaring party trick before handing her back her nuked java.

Chloe takes a sip, "Hmm, thanks." She says briskly her impatience now winning out, "So you were saying...perspective.." she trails off in hopes that he would continue.

He breathes out slowly, "I mean, I see what she did. And I definitely don't agree with it. But part of me can't really blame her you know..." He glances at her hesitantly and before Chloe can remark he rushes on. "And I'm not trying to make excuses for her,"

No Clark! that's exactly what you're doing, she thinks silently making sure not to voice it as he pushes on.

"... what Lana's been doing is wrong. But she was hurt real bad by Lex, I can kind of understand why she would feel the need for revenge. I guess the perspective is that, I really didn't know she was capable of this."

Chloe takes a deep breath, her frustration levels now sky rocketing, "Clark, I for one would love to see Lex rot in prison...and would even like him to rot in hell, by judicial processing of course or even natural causes while serving consecutive life sentences. But to take matters into your own hands..." Chloe trails off shaking her head in distain and rises from the sofa seeking to physically distance herself from Clark's logic.

He exhales loudly, "I know Chloe, but you yourself.."

"Don't you dare Clark!" she cuts him off abruptly and pins him with a vehement glare.

Gazes locked in a battle of wills, emerald green eyes silently speaking to Clark's blue-green stare for a very tense moment. He looks away first, diverting his attention to his coffee mug and states softly, "I just can't abandon her now..."

"No one said you had to." her voice not letting up on it's harshness.

"She needs me more than ever." He says more to himself, so quietly she almost missed it.

Taking a deep breath, Chloe intently stares at him, until finally she caves a little. Walking back to the sofa she takes a careful seat mindful to keep the distance between them, symbolic of the newly created chasm. She knows they will probably never see eye to eye concerning Lana. And finally she's resigned herself to that fact. "So what are you going to do Clark?" she asks without a hint of bitterness or anger. She may not agree with him or may not even be able to help him in what he decides. But she does love him and to her dismay that may never change, so she might as well support him...even from afar.

He turns to her eyes pleading for understanding, "I have to help her."

"How?" she asks softly. Clark opens his mouth to speak but before he can answer she holds up a halting hand so she can continue. "This turn that Lana has made has been months in the making. Super power transference aside. She has been on this road for a long time. It's going to take a lot to sort all this out to some resemblance of what was, if it's even at all possible."

Clark nods to her point, "Well I've got to try Chloe." He pauses unconsciously avoiding Chloe's eyes. For some reason what he has to say is proving to be difficult and the ability to get it out while facing Chloe seems an impossible feat. "For years I've been hiding the truth from Lana, wanting to tell her so bad and...And now she knows about me and accepts me and we can have a real chance at a real relationship without the secrets and the lies." He exhales, why does this hurt so much to say? "I can't give up on her just like that, it may take some work but..." He deals the final blow. "..but she's more than worth it."

And that's it. For a long silently intense moment Chloe continues to stare blindly at Clark's side profile. Her mind battling to process what he's admitted and for an unknown reason Clark's eyes fearing to meet Chloe's. Jolting herself out of her self imposed stupor she takes a deep breath. Before she attempts to speak she gulps down the remains of her coffee, praying Lois' imported special brew was infused with courage. Yeah this is definitely not strong enough, she looks to the now empty mug in her hands, maybe Vodka, looking around before taking another steadying breath hoping her voice doesn't betray how desperately she's dying inside.

"Well Clark, I think you're right." He remains unmoving as if is her words don't reach him, for a brief moment her expression's pained at the words that physically hurt to be said, she swallows and nods. "You should try. You owe it to yourself to try and make a solid go of it...You more than anyone else I know deserve to be happy." She smiles tightly as she regains his attention; his expression unreadable . She nods again, "You deserve to be happy Clark," she says sincerely, "and all this.." she waves her hands around in demonstration. "...let's just say it's par for the course. Nothing worth having comes easily right?" She attempts to smile again but is afraid it came out more like a grimace, but at his hesitant smile she's satisfied the supportive best friend facade is working. "So if Lana is what it takes for you to be happy my friend," because that's really all Chloe wants, for Clark to be happy, "you should put your focus into making it work. You've got to try." Without me, she adds silently.

He smiles again then says a soft "Thanks"

Brushing it away with her hands, "Ah well, it's what I do." Then rising from her painfully uncomfortable position on the sofa, she takes with her, her empty mug and Clark's nearly full one to the kitchen. Attempting to hold back the tears from her eyes and her voice she states with false lightheartedness. "And while you're working on that farm boy, I have to focus on the mounting chaos in my life."

Clark looks up towards her path in surprise, "What?" That was unexpected.

With the last of her composure, she comes out of the kitchen to lean against the entryway as she responds to him folding her arms in front of her. "Well aside from my induction into the meteor infected populace and having to see my ex-boyfriend daily, who never fails to show me that he cares in the scathing looks he sends my way, oh and just in case I didn't get the memo, parading his relationship with the newest gorgeous Kryptonian, I don't know, it must be genetic." She trails off. "Or are all Kryptonian's easy on the eyes?" She waves him off continuing her ramble. "Don't answer that. Anyway, in addition to all of this daily angst, I have to answer to the editor from hell, who I think just maybe indulging in an illicit affair with my cousin, purely speculation though. Suffice it to say, I have a lot going on myself. And as my demon editor continues to remind me, articles don't write themselves." She walks back to the sofa taking a gingerly seat. "And while our Smallville adventures are entertaining and makes the day speed by, I really need to put my focus into something I can actually write about and can be sent to print without exposing the people I care about."

"Chloe I'm so sorry..."Clark finally interjects before she can cut him off again.

"None of that is your fault Clark. Trust me. And regarding the Daily Planet..." she pauses trying to formulate her words as she licks her rapidly drying lips. "...that's really just me allowing myself to get sidetracked. Concerned more with being your sidekick, than taking an active role in my future as a journalist." She smirks at him, trying to keep her tone light. "So while you're tripping the light fantastic with Lana, I need to focus on getting my career back within my line of sight." She rubs her legs vigorously hoping the momentum of her hands will keep her going.

He sighs heavily, "Chloe look..."

Again she cuts him off, knowing if he continues her efforts to be strong would all be in vain. And she definitely doesn't want to have a cryfest in front of Clark. "No Clark." She shakes her head. "Don't you see, while all you've ever wanted is to have a life with Lana and be happy, I've wanted to have a life in investigative journalism. Both of our dreams are within our grasps...all we really need now is to dedicate our time and attention to them... uninterrupted." She turns away from his gaze to study her hands now clasped together tightly. "You want to be happy with Lana, you'll need to work on it without distraction. The same for me and the Planet..." she laughs lightly, "..and everything else going on in my disassembled life." She looks back at him with pleading eyes though she can see the questions in his. "I need to focus on these things alone ...to find my way... as you do with Lana." She says in conclusion.

For what seems like an endless moment they just stare at each other. Chloe silently begging him to understand and just give her some space and Clark searching her eyes trying to determine exactly what she's saying. He wants to ask but is terrified of her answer. Understanding that he's not really getting it she resolves to just show him.

With a heavy sigh she rises from the sofa and walks to the front door. Open door in hand she answers his unvoiced question, "Clark it's really late and I think I may be just a tad emotionally exhausted so..." she trails off at his incredulous look and tries another tactic. "You know with your renewed determination to make everything right it may not be a good idea to keep the princess waiting, you wouldn't want to mess it up before it even begins."

Clark nods his acquiescence, "You're right." At his approach Chloe wraps her arms around herself protectively. Once he closes the distance, Clark lightly trails his hand to her elbow dislodging her arm from around her and grasps her small hand gently absently rubbing her palm with his thumb he mutely looks down at Chloe's head awaiting to meet her jeweled eyes. At the touch of his hand an imperceptible shudder passes through her and she shuts her eyes momentarily in an effort to conceal her desire, her want-- her hurt. With lowered head she opens her eyes to stare blankly at his powerful hand protectively cradling her own, her other arm still wrapped around her stomach. He doesn't move, just continues to stand in front of her unconsciously caressing her hand, with this realization she looks up at him warily. Her breath catches at the intensity in his gaze unreadable yet so intent and steady it leaves her petrified. Clark swallows hard seeing the varying emotion play in her eyes, before they still to an almost blackened green. Nodding slightly, not knowing to what he agrees or if he is even agreeing, he enfolds her in his strong arms. With one arm around her waist trapping her folded arm between them and the other across her back almost cradling her head, he lightly runs his fingers across the soft nape of her neck. Taking care to not hold her too hard, for a second the idea that this feels too right to let go crosses his mind before he could truly take note of it. He breathes "Good Night Chlo, and thanks."

Briefly melting into his embrace, with his fingers gently massaging her neck she closes her eyes breathing in deeply his masculine scent as it surrounds her. She unconsciously grips the back of his shirt tightly, steeling herself before her resolve crumbles. At his words she gives him an awkward pat on the back and with her other hand laying on his hard stomach lightly nudges him back, then chokes out, "Yeah."

Closing his eyes briefly reveling in her warmth, Clark swallows again at the feel of her flat palm on his chest, he reluctantly pulls away before asking, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

She pastes on a tight smile and not trusting her voice at the moment, she silently nods her confirmation. He takes that as his cue and hesitantly descends the stairs of the Talon on his way back to the Farm. Once out of sight, Chloe closes the door behind her, leaning against it for support of her weakened knees. Her hands clenched at her sides, she shuts her eyes as the silent tears carve a familiar path down her face.

"Yeah" she reaffirms in a whisper to the quiet apartment.


	3. Confusion Day 1

Clark groans as he rolls over in his bed. His eyelids flutter open slowly, staring up at the familiar ceiling of his bedroom as he blinks the remaining sleep from his eyes. Turning his head to left he sees Lana still asleep snuggled under the comforter. Over her head, he reads the numbers on his alarm clock. 5:30. The sun hasn't begun to rise yet and the rooster hasn't yet crowed but he figured, this was early enough to begin his morning routine. He needs as much alone time as possible, with all he has to think about. Swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed, Clark rises gently, trying not to wake Lana. She stirs a little, but the sound of her deep steady breathing assures Clark she's still dead to the world.

In an effort to not jar her further with his movements, Clark speeds through his room. First stopping at his closet for two sets of clothes. One to do his morning chores in and the second to change into afterwards, then through the door coming to stop in the bathroom. He begins his morning ritual of brushing his teeth, washing the remains of sleep from his face and changing into work clothes; consisting of a white ratty t-shirt and worn blue jeans along with his work boots. After years of working the farm he knew a shower could wait until after he milked the cows, let them out to pasture and cleaned their stalls. A shower anytime before that would just be fruitless and a waste of time.

After donning his work boots, he surveys himself in the mirror. All the questions he's been avoiding to address have finally come forcing their way to the surface. All the questions surrounding Lana. He sighs. Lana. Years of pursuing her, or rather silently obsessing about her and their on again off again relationship had to mean something right? Right. Finally, they were together, with no secrets, at least none of his secrets coming in between them or the ineffectual lies to cover up his disappearances or strange behavior. No more of Lex's affection to contend with and thankfully no thoughts of marital infidelity to feel guilty about. They were together, free to love each other unencumbered at last. If they could survive all of that to be where they are now, couldn't they get past a little dark cloud as well? Or better yet Lana's dark cloud?

As he silently makes his way out of the bathroom, down the stairs, through the door and outside to the barn His mind conjures up his night with his best friend. _"This turn that Lana has made has been months in the making..."_ Chloe's words sound out to him clearly. _"She has been on this road for a long time. It's going to take a lot to sort all this out to some resemblance of what was, if it's even at all possible." _ But it has to be possible right? Right. She is still the girl he loved since he was a child, watching her from afar, wanting a place in her glossy world. If she can accept him as an intergalactic traveler, the least he could do is accept her and stick with her as she gets over the morbid hump in her life. It's only momentary, isn't it? After everything she has been through, wouldn't that break something in her? And just because it's broken doesn't mean it's beyond repair right? Right.

Halfway through with milking the cows, his mental deliberation continues, and his resolve hardens. He could see Lana through this. He had to, because he loved her right? Right. And isn't that what true love is all about? Sticking by your partner come what may? Of course. He was sure his parents' lives weren't always filled with ease. He knew they weren't always happy with each other or the choices they made. But the love never faltered and they got through it. That was the life Clark sought to have, and like Chloe said, it was now within his grasp. He would be a fool if he just gave it up because of a little bump in the road right? Right.

The cows now grazing the field, Clark made his way back to the barn to clean out the stalls. His mind still flooded in thought. Okay, so Lana did a bunch of things he wasn't happy with. Don't we all make mistakes? The true testament of humanity is the ability to forgive right? Right. He could look past it. And ok, so she lied to him; he grits his teeth,...for months she lied to him, while living under his roof...at this thought a righteous anger begins to burn within him and Clark unconsciously grips the handle of the rake in his hand tightly, shattering the wood to splinters. He looks down at his destructive work and sighs.

Then taking a deep breath and running a dirty hand through his tousled hair, he goes to find another tool to help in his chore as his mind returns to it's journey. He admits to himself, he is still a bit angry at her betrayal. That was just something else he had to work through. At least he was honest with himself about it right? Right. So he resigns to go there and just handle it, he couldn't effectually help her if he was still harboring anger towards her. Okay? OK. So in addition to her hiding the Isis Foundation from him and using it as front to cover her more sinister work of monitoring Lex's actions and planning to bring him down by any means necessary...; he shuts his eyes tightly upon feeling the familiar burning and intakes a shaky breath attempting to get a solid grip on his anger and reign it in before he burns down the barn, then exhales slowly continuing his ruminations, thankful he can control his heat vision but unfortunately it didn't help in the least to temper his frustrations. But he had to work through it to get past it right? RIGHT!

So in addition to that she allowed everyone who loved her to believe that she was dead for weeks. FOR WEEKS! He growls to himself. Chloe was near inconsolable. Did she have any idea, how hard it was for him to see Chloe in so much pain and not be able lift a damn finger to help her? That nearly broke him. Did Lana know how deeply he missed her. Admittedly he could live without Lana in his life, he has for years; but that didn't mean he liked the idea of a world without her in it. He clenches his jaw tightly grinding his teeth together. The hard angular lines of his face clearly showing his agitation. His thought process pushes on. He loves her deeply, did she think about his grief when she was planning her great escape? He supposed she didn't. He may need to ask her about that sometime. And she said she was trying to protect him...it's almost laughable. She's not Chloe...or his mom! He scoffs. She has no idea what it would truly take to protect him. Yeah she may know he has a weakness to kryptonite, but so what! That's really a minute detail. She hasn't been there through the years to really know the depth of him and his limitations. And in one glimpse of his power and one truth baring moment shared, she would think she was solely responsible for his safety. Like he hasn't lived his life for 21 years just fine without her _protection_.

"HA!" Clark's sardonic voice rumbled in the quiet of the morning. The tenor of his voice startling him into the present, he wasn't even aware he had spoken out loud. He looks up surveying his progress, it awes him that he got through the majority of his morning chores without a single thought to it, and glad he didn't unconsciously hurt any of the animals.

Almost done, then he can take a shower and head to the Talon for his morning coffee with his best friend. He sighs wistfully. At this moment, he was genuinely looking forward to the lightness of her company. Her presence always seemed to put him at ease. And if he was honest with himself, he yearned for it, he needed it. Just thinking about it pushes Clark into superspeed to finish the clean up and within seconds, he's entering the kitchen through the back door.

Before he ascends the stairs he checks the clock on the wall. 6:47. He has thirteen minutes to take a shower and get to the Talon for Chloe's 7am wake up call. No sweat. Speeding into the bathroom and into the shower he briefly listens for Lana to make sure she was still asleep. He can hear her steady heartbeat and the deep ins and outs of her breathing. He frowns warily, she must be really tired from her two day stint as "dark angel." After speeding through his shower he begins heading down the stairs. The ringing of the phone halts his steps, looking up at the clock he groans in frustration at the time. 6:49. Didn't everyone know he had a schedule to keep? He slumps over to the phone.

"Hello" He says gruffly not even attempting to hide the irritation in his voice.

"Good Morning Mr. Kent. It's Will Foster here." Mr. Foster replies too chipper for 7 or so in the morning.

Clark takes a steadying breath, it would be bad business to not respond in kind. It wasn't Will's fault he had somewhere to be and being totally honest he had been waiting on this call for a couple of days. "Hey Mr. Foster, how is everything?" He forces some cheer to his voice. Swallowing down his frustration.

"Well Mr Kent, my hens have gotten into a good rhythm it seems. Those 3 dozen eggs you requested are all sittin and ready for pick up. When ever you get a chance today feel free to stop on by. I may not be here, but my boy'll handle anything you need."

"Thanks so much Mr. Foster. I'll be sure to be by today." Clark mentally checks that off his list of things to do and adds on 'ride out to Foster's'.

Will's voice interrupts Clark's meanderings, "It's no problem, no problem at all. You know I have worked with your parents for years. Your father was a good man...good man. God rest his soul. You know I haven't seen your mother in quite some time. I hope all is well on Capital Hill..." Will chuckles lightly as if he really made a joke. Clark rolls his eyes skyward internally patting himself on the back for not vocalizing his frustrations or merely just hanging the phone up on the jolly Will Foster and his never ending reminiscing. Will continues his ramble. "...so how's it going out on that big farm by yourself? Not having any wild party and such?" He chuckles again. Clark groans. "Young man like yourself...you know God said, 'It's not good for man to be alone'. But no need to entertain those loose women, you hear. Just like I tell my boy. But I see you have miss Luth..er Lang staying with you. With all the coming and goings of that little blonde spitfire of yours, I didn't even think you would remember miss Lang. Ah..." Will sighs, now Clark is hunched over the kitchen table, phone absently placed by his ear as he draws imaginary circles and spells out Chloe's name on the wood surface. "I prefer blondes myself. You know my Susie used to have the fairest head of blonde hair back in her day. Even still you know, when I was your age, I would've loved to have 2 beautiful women vying for my attention. You're one lucky guy Mr. Kent."

Finally Clark blurts out a little more harshly than he intended, "It's not like that...I'm sorry Mr. Foster, I kind of have an appointment I have to make at Main Street, can we talk later?"

Will laughs, "With that blonde spitfire, am I right? I've seen you two kids together...you know if I were you..." a beep in the phone cuts off Will's sentence.

"Call Waiting!" Clark shouts, then rushes on, "Mr. Foster sorry, someone's on the other line. It was really nice catching up and I will be sure to get out there today. Ok. See you later. Have a good one!" He says in one long breath and before the other man could reply Clark drops the call and connects to the other. "Thank God...I mean... hello?"

"Clark." came his mothers oddly relieved yet distant voice.

"Hey Mom" Clark couldn't help but smile, he's missed his mom, but before he could go further with that thought he glances at the clock. 7:03. Damn! He's late. He hates it when he's late. Now in addition to being frustrated, he was grumpy. "Um..."

As if reading his mind Martha interjects, "Before you try to rush me off the phone let me point out, you're already late Clark, Chloe can wait a few more minutes. I really need to talk to you."

Clark sighs heavily with disappointment. "Fine...Something up?"

"I tried to reach you yesterday. I received an interesting call from Lois last night. Clark why didn't you tell me?"

Clark groans audibly and before he can stop himself says "Someone really needs to put a muzzle on Lois." Then gulps realizing he said that out loud and to his mother no less. "I mean...she...I...w–what did she say?" He stammers.

"That Lana attacked her. But that is not what concerns me Clark. After I couldn't reach you, I had to call Lionel to find out what was going on. Lionel? Clark, now why would I need to call him to find out what's going on, on our farm? Why didn't you tell me?"

Clark now standing in the kitchen fights the urge to bang his head against the refrigerator. Knowing it wouldn't do anything but create a dent in the metal or send it completely through the wall, and he really didn't need that, that would just add to the list of things needed to be replaced. 'Buy new durable rake', he added to his mental list before he forgot.

Martha's raised voice breaks into his list compiling, "Clark are you there? Oh dear God! Clark answer me!"

Wide eyed he reassures his mother, "I'm here mom... I'm...I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Why didn't you?"

He takes a deep breath raking a hand through his hair, "Well it really wasn't a big deal until yesterday." He mumbles simply.

"Wasn't a big deal? Not a big deal?!" Clark winces at his mothers disbelieving anger. He can hear her trying to calm herself. And knows if he says anything right now it would only make it worse. After a moment, her entirely too calm voice comes back on the line, "Clark, breaking a tool." he winces again, mothers really do know everything don't they, she continues, "...that's no big deal. For you, punching a hole in the wall or burning through one is no big deal. But transferring your powers to Lana, Clark trust me that's a very big deal."

"I know." He huffs.

"And you should of been the one to tell me. That worries me more than anything."

He rushes out, "Please don't worry mom...See that's the last thing I wanted. And I handled it, everything is back to normal now. I promise. No need to worry." He assures.

She sighs, "Well I'm a mother, we never stop worrying. It's our way." He smiles as he hears the lightness return to her. "So, how is Lana? Health wise that is?"

Clark breathes heavily, "She's fine. Took her to Smallville Medical immediately after. They say everything's normal."

"Well that's good to hear at least." Came Martha's relieved voice.

"Yeah...at least." She can hear the wistful tone in Clark's.

"Clark what is it?"

"I guess Lionel didn't tell you everything she did, did he?" he asked with apprehension.

"About Lex. Yes. Yes he did." She exhales as Clark silently offers a thanks to God that Lionel _really _didn't tell her everything. He was sure if his mother knew about Lionel's kidnapping and subsequent torture there would really be no coming back from that with Martha. Thankfully Lana didn't succeed in actually killing anyone. "I know what Lex did to her was a terrible thing, but taking matters into your own hands. Revenge? I can't in good conscience support that Clark. It goes against everything we stand for, everything I'm personally working for."

Clark smiles a little at this, his mother sounds so much like Chloe it's hard to ignore. "That's kind of what Chloe said..."

"How is she?" Martha audibly perks up.

Clark looks at the clock again. 7:17 He sighs, he's never going to make it; and resigns himself to getting a verbal lashing by Will's 'blonde spitfire'. Clark chuckles lightly at that thought and finally he responds. "She's fine." He mentally rewinds his late night visit to the Talon apartment and amends absently, "Actually mom, I'm not too sure. She seemed fine when I went to see her last night, but something was off with her, that's kind of why I really want to see..." Clark shuts his mouth abruptly. Damn it, someone needed to put a muzzle on him as well. Maybe he should add that to his list of things to pick up today along with Lois', but honestly he could break through it just by opening his mouth if he wanted to. So scratch that idea. Anyway if he knows his mother at all, which undoubtedly he does, the little information he offered has now piqued her interest. Again he thinks she is so much like Chloe, or Chloe's like her or whatever, he stops his mental rambling as Martha asks.

"What happened?" her voice full of motherly concern, not just for Clark but for Chloe who she sees as her daughter as well.

He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, "Nothing." He says flatly.

"Clark."

"Mom" He whines.

"Honey, maybe I can help...I may not be there physically but I can offer some advice."

"But there's really nothing to help with or...or give advice about. Seriously nothing is wrong." He tries to assure her.

"You said there was." She retorts.

Clark huffs and growls out, "Fine" He can hear Martha snicker over the line, 'So much alike' he thinks again. "It's really nothing. She just said something that was really odd to me." He waits a beat for his mother to interject, when she doesn't, he continues, "We were talking about everything that happened with Lana and how I was going to help her..." he heard an almost inaudible 'hmph' sound from his mother but chose to ignore it, "...anyway she told me I should focus on working everything out with Lana and then the strangest thing was, afterwards she said she needed to work some things out in her life on her own...now I know that isn't really weird or anything, but even though she said it, she really didn't seem happy about it."

There was silence for a moment. Then finally, "Is that it?" Martha asks solemnly.

"Yeah pretty much...her reaction kind of just puzzles me that's all."

"Well Clark...What are you going to do? I hope you're planning on giving Chloe some space to work out everything she needs to." she quietly states.

That threw Clark for a complete loop, he blinks and responds abruptly, "What?...W-Why would I do that?"

Martha sighs, "Well isn't that what she said she needed. 'To work things out on her own'? Clark what do you think that means honey?"

Clark shakes his head vehemently as if is mother could see him, In complete and utter denial of what Martha was praying he understood. Finally he says with determination, "NO! No way...I can't..No! That's not what she's saying. Mom you weren't there, that's not what she meant ok."

Martha sighs again, "Fine Clark. Listen, I am in meetings all day today. That's why I called you so early. I need to start getting out of here."

"Ok"

She continues, "You enjoy your day, and call me if you need me. I may not pick up but you can leave a message with my assistant ok sweetie? I love you, and Clark stop keeping things from me!" She commands in conclusion.

"OK...Love you too mom."

"Oh and give everyone my love." With that she hangs up.

Frowning Clark slowly presses the off button on the phone.

There were many things Clark accredited to his mother and intuitiveness was definitely one of them. More often than not her advice was sought after and proven to be right. But if she was right, that would mean...No! She had to be mistaken on this one. She wasn't there, she has no idea what Chloe said to him last night, she couldn't possibly come to that conclusion based on the little information he gave her right? Of course. No need to worry. And why should he worry or freak out anyway? Chloe has every right to want to fix her life and her own issues alone right? Right. He chuckles lightly. 'You big dumb alien' he thinks to himself 'freaking out over nothing!' Clark looks at the clock for the last time. 7:34. He groans before he disappears out the door in gust of wind.


	4. CONFUSION Day 1:1

A block away Clark emerges in a isolated corner and jogs at human sped to the Talon. As soon as he enters he makes his way to the counter occasionally glancing up the stairs to the apartment. The nervousness inside of him churning to the point of distraction. His cousin, Kara's voice breaks through his cloud of anxiety.

"Krypton to Clark" she snickers waving a hand obscuring his view of the stairs.

He turns his narrowed eyes to her in agitation, "Kara, do you have to say things like that?" He growls lowly.

She rolls her eyes, "Geez, Ka--Clark…just kidding" at his glare she relents. "You really need to lighten up. You take yourself way to seriously."

Ignoring her statement, he grumbles, "Can I just have.."

Cutting him off she places a cup in front of him, "I know, I know, Double Mocha Latte with a triple shot of espresso and lots of pure sugar coming up.." she points to the cup on the counter, "…and that's a plain black coffee light sugar for you." She smirks at him while placing a muffin next to the cup, "And because your running late, an apple cinnamon muffin as a peace offering." He smiles a little in thanks forgetting his annoyance. She turns her back preparing Chloe's latte.

He takes a sip of his coffee glancing back to the stairs, "I though you worked the evening shift tonight Kara…." he looks back at her with a raised brow, "why are you here so early?"

"Got plans tonight?" she answers simply.

"With Jimmy?" Clark inquires taking another sip from the container. Not that he really cared, truthfully he really couldn't care less. As long as Jimmy was no longer with Chloe and had no intentions of a reconciliation with her, he could do whatever the hell he wanted. Clark stops himself mid-sip in shock at his current thoughts, and shakes his head in an effort to clear it, wondering where that came from.

Kara none the wiser simply replies, "Not that it's any of your business, but yes…we have plans" She smiles dreamily, momentarily pausing in reflection.

Kara's brief escape from reality causes Clark to roll his eyes in aggravation. Didn't people know he had no time for this? "Kara!" He snaps at her, "Coffee!" He points to the container absently held in her hands.

"Geez, here!", she huffs placing another container in front of him.

"About time." He grumbles as she rolls her eyes. Clark offers a distracted thanks placing the muffin on top of Chloe's coffee container and heads toward and up the stairs.

Knocking the door lightly, his trepidation causes him to wait a beat before knocking a little louder.

"I'm coming! I'm coming! Hold your damn horses!" He hears coming from inside the apartment.

Clark takes a deep breath, mentally preparing his apology and opens his mouth to speak as the door opens.

"Wanna close the barn door there? You're letting the flies in Smallville." Clark shuts his mouth, his lips forming a grim line, his eyes narrowing to slits in his annoyance.

"Where's Chloe?" Ignoring Lois he pushes past her into the apartment.

Lois closes the door behind him, "Well good morning to you too flannel king!" She snags the muffin from the top of the coffee cup. "Aww Smallville you shouldn't have.." Then takes a hardy bite.

He glares at the tall brunette and grimaces in disgust, "I didn't!" he growls out, then repeats, "Where's Chloe?"

With her mouth full of the tasty pastry, she ignores his inquiry, "Wow, this is really good. You should've brought one for yourself, I know this is more Chloe's thing but if I knew…." she eyes the coffee in his hand. "….and coffee too?"

Clark pulls the cup out of her reach, "Not for you!"

She smirks, "You know, living above a coffee shop and all, it must be really hard for Chloe to get her hands on natures caffeinated goodness. How nice of you Juan to hand deliver it."

"Where-is-Chloe-Lois?" He growls out emphasizing each word.

Lois rolls her eyes, "Obviously she's not here, hayseed!"

"Lois!" He grumbles as his nerves tense, tightening his hands on the cups. Fortunately not tight enough to destroy them.

"At the Planet." She says simply as she turns around, to go back to her bedroom. "Where I should be. But lucky me, I have Grant insisting I take the day, because of my near miss yesterday." Turning her narrowed gaze on Clark she stalks back toward him. "And let me tell you, if I so much as see that little rabid ferret of yours, I will kick her ass from here to Luthor Corp. You got me?…. Tell her to stay the hell away from me or next time she won't have a chance to blindside me."

Clark sighs heavily, trying to temper the situation. "Lois, Lana wasn't herself yesterday." This was something Clark really didn't want to deal with, unfortunately he conveniently forgot the ramifications of Lana's actions. And Lois just happened to be one of them. Lois can be surprisingly violent...or unsurprisingly, being that she was raised by a General and was a fourth degree black belt.

The statuesque brunette scoffs in disbelief, "Not herself? You know, if you want to forgive her Smallville, that's hardly surprising…..but if you're going to keep her un-caged then at least get a leash for her.." she jabs with her finger in the chest, "... and keep her out of my way. And that's more than just advise." She turns back around to head to her room.

Clark remains broodly standing in the living room, he knows there is nothing he can say to smooth things over with Lois. They'll just have to deal and hopefully come to some common ground. With Lois being Chloe's cousin and Lana living on the farm, there was absolutely no way for them not to bump into each other. Maybe he should ask Chloe to work on Lois. But for now Clark resigns to cross that bridge or hold the bridge together with his bare hands, when he comes to it.

Back on focus and more to the point, he asks loudly, "When did Chloe leave for the Planet?"

Lois shouts back from the bedroom, "Have no idea."

"What?" now he was perplexed. Didn't she say Chloe was at the Daily Planet?

Lois comes to stand outside of the room holding a duffle bag, "Well I assume that's where she is now."

"I don't understand."

She smirks at him and retorts, "You rarely do." At his glare she continues. "She left last night for Metropolis, saying something about needing to be at the DP early."

Clark nods as he makes his way to the door and is already descending the stairs when Lois voice reaches him but is yet ignored. "What? No thank you!"


	5. CONFUSION Day 1:2

For the new comer; at first glance the bustle and traffic of the Daily Planet can be overwhelming and even chaotic. The rapid steady streams of reporters in chase of a hot story; the up roar of trying to meet the deadline to print an article. It was all so….tumultuous. The Daily Planet was really a world where you either sank or swam. For Chloe Sullivan, it was her world. She loved it, lived for it, thrived in it and just breathed it in. Waiting for the day when her name would be synonymous with the greatest source for the truth on earth. She lived for that day. Chloe was determined to swim and even more than that, she was going to bargain with king Triton himself.

But not today, today she was drowning; drowning in a sea of melancholy. Sitting behind the mountain of work behind her desk, propping her head up with one hand and rhythmically tapping her pen on the desk with the other, while idly peering at her blank computer screen. Chloe was just not in the mood. Not in the mood for the indolent chit chat by the passer by; not in the mood for the random assignments thrown at her desk and definitely not in the mood for the death ray looks Jimmy occasionally sent her way. Wasn't he supposed to be ignoring her? Today she would gladly welcome his brush-off. And isn't he dating the Kryptonian goddess, Kara? He should be living in the land of the blissfully ignorant; and not dwelling in the realm of resentment. Shit! Weren't there rules to follow or something, the dumper shouldn't be allowed to be angry with the dumpee. Jimmy broke up with HER damn it! In her anger Chloe sends her pen flying across the desk. It bounces off the edge and lands on the floor with a clink.

She sighs, OK this is definitely not working. She wasn't upset with Jimmy. She was upset with herself. It was her choice to let Clark go right? So why is she sitting here brooding? Chloe Sullivan doesn't brood, Clark Kent is the brooder. Maybe she had spent too much time with him, now she was picking up some of his less desirable habits. Great! Just fan-friggin-tastic! And really what is there to brood about? So Clark chose Lana again, it wasn't really unexpected was it? Not really. It was the 'no matter what' that incessantly rang in her ears like a freakin' gong. She could just hear the wedding chimes now. Ugh! Why did he have to say that? Why did she have to ask?

Well it doesn't really matter now, does it? He was going to stick by Lana despite her nefarious deeds. Can she really fault him for that and was she really faulting him? No, not at all! There were many things Chloe would do for Clark; OK really she would do anything for him. But playing the supportive friend to a guy who chose to play house with a girl who intentionally lied to her and used her for her own purposes…..and even without counting that, this same girl hospitalized Chloe's cousin. Never going to happen! Even she, who would do anything for Clark, had her limits. Clark gave her no choice really. He made his decision, and though painful, Chloe made hers.

For the thousandth time today, Chloe checks the digital clock on her desk. 8:04. She mentally shrugs, guess he wasn't coming. Good thing too, she wasn't really looking forward to avoiding him. Thankfully it looked like he got the message last night. Yet, she wasn't really sure how she felt about him not even attempting to make an appearance. At 7AM Chloe was half expecting him to show up with fresh coffee from the Talon. Ah! The Talon coffee. She missed it this morning, and for some one who literally survived off of it, she was severely going through withdrawals. That's why she was unhappy, it made sense now. Chloe frowned to herself. She missed her morning coffee, and though Starbucks was good, they didn't hold a candle to the Talon. Guess it was the meteor infected water in Smallville, it had to be. But in any case, she sorely wanted a cup. Damn it! Another thing to be angry with Clark for, if it wasn't for him she would have had at least two cups by now. Big dumb alien! But, she was adult enough to admit she really missed him too. Chloe always looked forward to his morning wake-up calls. It was their ritual, bet he was hand delivering to Lana the coffee that should be _hers _right now. Grrrr! Stop it! She chastised herself.

Chloe's head shot up abruptly. He was here! It was the strangest thing, but she was always able to tell when Clark was near by. It was like the air around her became charged with a new energy. Some type of shift, she felt internally. She wondered if everyone felt it or just her. She would have to ask Lana about it some time. Ah! Scratch that! Maybe Lois then... ah, double Hell-No to that as well. Martha? Yeah Martha, she's lived with Clark the longest she would know. But oddly enough she never noticed the change when Kara was around. UGH! Whatever, no matter he was here now. Chloe looked around her frantically. She had to look busy, she had to look like she had no time to talk. She picked up a folder in her 'to do' box. Yeah this would work. Rising from her chair she scanned the documents. Ah hell! No, these need to be copied, he'll just corner me in copy room. No go! Ok think, THINK!.

Clark descended the stairs to the basement of the Daily Planet on a mission. Surveying the mass of people. Chloe's short blonde hair stuck out like a beacon. He breathed a relaxed sigh, just seeing her was like coming home. He loved the smell of Chloe. Walking toward her from behind his arm snaked out to present her coffee cup in front of her.

He smiles, "Special delivery. I have to warn you I had to go far and wide; over rivers and through mountains to obtain this sacred cup! But I've been told…," he lowers his voice to a whisper leaning in behind her, "….it holds the meaning of life. They added special ingredients to sustain you until your next cup."

The light brush of his breath against her skin and the whispery tone of his voice directly in her ear sent noticeable shivers down her spine. She couldn't have that, and definitely not now. She abruptly stepped out of the circle of his arm. "Uh, thanks for the excursion, but I am pretty sure it was less perilous than you're willing to admit, and more like a millisecond for you and all the strength of throwing a bundle of hay." She smirks nervously avoiding looking directly at him.

He laughs, "Well never the less, I'm here baring gifts."

"I see." She looks at the clock, 8:13. "And you're late!" She crosses him, going behind her desk and focuses on the folder in her hands.

"Yeah" He says solemnly. Turning to face her. She must be really angry, she won't even look at me, Clark thinks. Bowing his head, looking at the coffee he now placed on her desk he explains "Look about that, I really tried. At the last minute, I was cornered by Mr. Foster…"he begins to ramble nervously, "….well not really cornered, but you know how he drawls on, he's like a pit-bull when he's gotten his teeth into you. He just kept going on and on about the, um 'blonde spitfire'" he looks up at her, a lazy smile forming on his lips, "…that's you by the way. I think he has a little crush on you."

"What can I say, I'm irresistible to the geriatric men of Smallville. The venerable love me." She smiles brightly, forgetting her vow to avoid him. Their friendship was just too easy to fall into.

Clark reciprocates her smile with a gorgeous one of his own, "They're not the only ones." He responds without thought, locking his eyes with hers.

Taken aback by his words and the intensity of his stare, her heart skips a beat and her breath imperceptibly catches in her throat, before she darts her eyes down to the cup resting atop her desk. She chastises herself for her weakness and resolves to be stronger next time. "Thanks for the coffee Clark. But you should really give it to Lana." She begins shuffling with the papers on her desk.

"This was especially made for you Chlo."

"Well then, you shouldn't have." Chloe says flatly.

He shakes his head, something is going on that he can't wrap his mind around. He narrows his eyes at her, "Where were you?"

The question catches her off guard, she looks up at him briefly before again peering down at the work on her desk. She swallows, "What do you mean? I was here."

"No. Before here. Lois told me you spent the night here in Metropolis……where were you?"

Chloe sighs heavily, "Lois can fit her whole head in her mouth can't she?"

He chuckles lightly, yeah she does have a big mouth. Hey, wait a minute! Did she not want him to know? The implications of her statement was unavoidable.

Clark's humor dies down abruptly as he repeats his question, the determination in his voice unmistakable. "Where were you Chloe?"

She challengingly meets his eyes directly, "At the Clock Tower!"

Ok, that was unexpected. She stayed at Oliver's pent house, all night? Was Oliver there? They couldn't be……could they? He diverts his eyes back to the desk and swallows the lump forming in his throat. All of a sudden his stomach churns sickeningly. Oliver and Chloe couldn't have something going on? He would of noticed it right? Sure. But if they were together, would he even really want to know? Yes he would. But what if…

Looking back up at her, he sees Chloe's not even looking at him anymore, even better, she probably didn't notice how uncomfortable he was at the moment. He shifts his feet, "So you saw Ollie, how is he?" Yeah, that was subtle. Let her come to you Kent.

"Um, he wasn't there. I have a key." She begins typing on her computer while looking at the folder beside her keyboard.

A key. Clark ponders that for a moment. A key. That's not so bad right? Clark has a key. He uses the Clock tower as a safe house sometimes. So it doesn't really mean anything if Chloe has a key right? Right. "So…um..h-how.." he croaks out, then clears his throat nervously before trying again. "…how long have you had a key?" he finishes weakly

Chloe huffs in frustration, slumping back into her chair as she looks up at him, "What does it matter Clark? I have a key." She searches his eyes seeing his determination. "If you must know, I was complaining to Ollie and Vic one night about the commute, and he offered to let me stay at the Clock Tower, it's really not a gargantuan deal." Chloe's not stupid, she's known Clark for almost a decade and she was fully aware of when he was trying to indirectly fish for information. What's his deal anyway? He couldn't be jealous. Probably just didn't want her to have any other options besides him. He just had to be her savior didn't he? Figures.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. "You know Clark, I am _really _busy." She looks longingly at the container on her desk, before hardening her resolve. "Thanks for the coffee, but you should try giving it to Lana." She stands cradling a stack of folders to her chest.

He shakes his head lightly, "I told you, it was…"

She cuts him off as she leans against the desk, "Clark you are committed to making it work with Lana right?" He nods; she presses on. "Then we should really stop the 7 AM visits." At the look of horror on his face she quickly amends, "Just for awhile Clark. You know….right now, you and Lana are on exceedingly shaky ground. You should really put all of your focus and all of your energy.." she points to the coffee cup below his hands, "and all of your attention into planting your feet on more fortified terrain."

Clark nods in thought, "Well yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with you and me or affect…"

"On the contrary Clark,…." She cuts in. "…. that will leave very little time for you to spend hand delivering life sustenance.." she once again takes a longing glance at the cup before looking back at him and adds, " and even less time for Conan encores and recaps till wee hours in the morning." She pats herself on the back at seeing the deep frown forming on his face, and at his grimace she rushes on. "At least for now Clark…. come on they don't call them 'significant others' for nothing. And Lana _is _your 'significant other'"

"That doesn't make you insignificant Chlo!" He says sadly.

She shakes her head and frowns herself, "No. But it does make me _less _significant." She wait's a beat, searching Clark for understanding. Her heart aches at seeing his defeated appearance. Clark's shoulders slump in disappointment, hands tucked in the pockets of his blue jeans, his head bowed in dejection. His appearance reflecting nothing of the powerful alien she knows and loves. Chloe can't bear to look at him another moment without wanting to cry or offering him comfort.

Against her better judgment, she places a soft hand lightly on his arm. "It's only for a time Clark." She tries to add more mirth to her voice and squeezes his arm in assurance. "The time will fly before you know it, and you and Lana will be as happy as…….well I don't know. As happy as virgins on prom night." Clark snaps his head up at her words. She laughs lightly at his sheepish look, "I promise Clark. You guys will be the best." She hurriedly looks away from his now pleading eyes, "…so to the farm with you. I really do have a ton of work to conquer." She begins to walk away.

Clark swallows hard with a resigned nod, "So I'll see you for lunch?"

At his words Chloe's steps falter. Damn! He really wasn't getting it, he was adamantly refusing to get it. "Uh….I'm not sure Clark, I really am busy….I'll call you ok." And with that she walked away breathing deeply and praying that Clark didn't catch the ferocious beating of her heart or else he would definitely know she was lying.


	6. CONFUSION Day 1:3

Seconds after leaving the Daily Planet, Clark sits silently at his kitchen counter. Holding Chloe's coffee container with gentle care, his mind drowns in desperate confusion. She lied. He thought to himself. She has to be lying, but why? Why won't she talk to him? Why won't she tell him what is bothering her? He knew something was wrong last night...outside of her list of complaints, but he didn't want to press the issue. Now he knows he should have. But why wouldn't she just tell him? He told _her _everything...didn't Chloe trust him?

And what does she mean by '_less _significant'? Doesn't she know that she is the most important person in his life... next to his mom? All she has to do is talk to him. She's never been so busy that she couldn't spare some time for him before...instead she lies. It doesn't make sense. Now she doesn't want to watch Conan with him, who the hell else will he watch Conan with? No one else will interrupt with a Letterman commentary like she will. Clark quietly sulks. Something is definitely wrong. To top it off, she wants him to give _her _coffee to Lana? It's crazy...definitely not Chloe! His Chloe would never sacrifice coffee or offer it up to another. And how can she suggest that he just freely give the coffee specially made for _her _to someone else?

Clark turns the cup around absently on the counter. 'Yeah, something's up' his mental deliberation continues. She wouldn't abandon coffee for anything, maybe she isn't herself. Maybe it's a shape-shifter like Tina? No, that can't be it...she still smells the same, and she sounds the same. Stretching his senses Clark listens to her more intently, hearing what he needs he concludes; her assuring, steady and comforting heartbeat is still the same. So, if she's not someone else then maybe she's possessed like with Dawn, but then that doesn't make sense either. She is still Chloe just...something is...different...wrong?

"Good Morning Clark?" Lana's soft breathy voice breaks the silence in the kitchen as she descends the stairs.

"Hey" the brooding alien greets flatly, his unfocused attention still on the cup nestled securely between his hands.

Lana comes to stand beside him at the counter scrutinizing his despondent demeanor. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine...Everything's fine." he responds gruffly.

Lana noticing his preoccupation runs a light hand over his shoulder attempting to break whatever hold the coffee cup has on him. "Clark?"

He starts at her touch, raising his head to finally look at her, "Hmm?"

The tiny brunette smiles demurely, "You seem a little lost there. Are you sure you're alright?"

He nods absently, "Yeah. Just thinking..." he trails off. I'm fine he thinks to himself, Chloe's the one with the problem.

Out of nowhere a small hand lands on the cup held in between his, "Is that for me?" She asks lightly, almost pleased.

Clark looks down at her hand, before jerking the container away on reflex. "Uh...no." Chloe's voice whispers in his mind _'Thanks for the coffee, but you should try giving it to Lana.'_ Was she serious? He can't do that...it's for Chloe!

"Then who is it for?" Lana's simple question startles him.

He raises his eyes back to his girlfriend, "Uh, no one."

She chuckles lightly, "OK Clark." She picks the cup from his hands anyway. "You sure you're OK?" She asks amused while bringing the container to her mouth. Clark looks on, eyes wide in open shock, 'What does she think she's doing?'

Lana grimaces as she swallows, scrunching her face with distaste, "Clark, this is disgusting!" She moves to the sink to pour out the coffee.

At this, Clark jumps from his perch by the counter, "What are you doing?" He asks abruptly, the alarm in his voice unmistakable. That's not hers. She has no right!

"Clark, it's too sweet. No one can drink that." Lana responds, continuing to pour out the saccharine concoction, oblivious to Clark's consternation.

Clark stares at her in complete disbelief. She had no right! That wasn't even hers! He balls his hands into fists at his sides. No Right! How dare she?

"How could you do that?" Clark croaks out before he turns and exits the kitchen.

Lana looks on incredulously, clearly bemused by his reaction. She shakes her head and follows him out to the loft.

When she arrives at his haven, Clark is slumped on the couch staring up at the rafters.

"Clark?" she hedges not sure of his response.

"I'm sorry." He says flatly to the ceiling. "I'm just..." he swallows. "I'm not having the best day."

She comes to sit beside him hands folded in her lap. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

Taking a deep breath she hesitates before asking, "Is this about last night…yesterday?"

"No" came his automatic response still concentration on the high ceilings and the bright sky above. "Maybe." He amends.

She sighs, "Look Clark, what happened yesterday... it was the powers; you know I would never hurt you." She says almost lovingly.

He turns his intense gaze on her, "And Lois?" he lifts his head from the back of the sofa; his gaze on her, intent and unrelenting. "Lionel?" he hesitates. "And Lex? This started way before you got my powers Lana."

"You know what Lex and Lionel did to me!" her voice rising along with her hackles. "I already told you, I am not going to apologize for trying to protect you... trying to protect us!"

"Lana" he breathes out slowly in frustration, "...you already knew what Lionel was after. You knew before you kidnapped him." He shakes his head in dismay while pushing himself up off of the sofa. "This wasn't about protection; it was all about your revenge."

"Lex violated me!" She shouts, also rising. "Lionel used me! They deserved everything they got and more!"

Clark looks at her in shock, struggling to keep his calm and not match her fury, "You don't have the market cornered on Luthor pain Lana." His is voice calm, non-indulgent. "The Luthor name is built upon the suffering of others. In no way am I absolving them of their deeds, they're evil men. But there are people out there fighting everyday, dedicating their lives, determined to bring them down and make them pay... the right way."

Lana narrows her eyes at him, "Like you?" She almost scoffs.

Clark shakes his head, "No... Better than me!" Like Chloe he answers with silently. "I guess... I guess I don't really understand Lana." Walking over to the window he looks out over the field, arms crossed in front of him. "I know Lex did a number on you and Lionel... " He trails off and snorts lightly. "Lionel is a bastard. An opportunistic bastard, but he didn't deserve what happened to him. At least not from you Lana... you chose Lex."

"I didn't choose what Lex did to me." She replies softly her head bowed.

Clark turns to look at her, "No you didn't" He concedes. "But you did choose to be with him, to stay with him, even though I warned you... Chloe begged you." the last of his words coming out strained.

Lana meets his gaze sorrowfully, "When you told me you didn't love me Clark, I was devastated and Lex was there. For a time... I hated you." She explains.

Clark nods choking back his remorse, "And what about Chloe?"

"What about her?" She asks bitterly.

Clark chooses to ignore the clear disdain behind her words. "She was your best friend Lana, your roommate. Did you think that she just didn't want you to be happy? Why didn't you weigh her advice?"

She answers simply, "Chloe is an extension of you."

In response Clark merely nods. It's the truth, in his opinion, it's his happy truth. Chloe is an extension of him. She's his best friend, his confidante, his partner. It makes sense that if Lana wasn't listening to him, she wouldn't listen to Chloe. But it doesn't eliminate the fact that Lana was forewarned and still chose her fate.

The tiny brunette takes a step toward Clark, placing her hand gently on his muscled arm, "Look Clark" she says softly, almost a whisper, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Can't we just put all of this behind us? I want us to move on."

Looking down at her, Clark pauses, his arms dropping to his sides, he sighs answering truthfully, "I want to Lana. But you're still so... angry." She shakes her head, moving to take a step away from him, but he gently grabs her hand preventing her movement. "I think maybe..." He takes a deep breath before continuing, "...maybe you should talk to someone?"

"What?" she asks in utter astonishment. "You mean like a doctor? I'm not crazy Clark!" She pulls her hand from his forcefully. He allows her so as she won't break her hand.

"I don't think you're crazy!" He answers instantly, taking a step toward her. "I think you're broken."

"What!" Lana steps back.

"I think Lex broke something in you. I think _I _broke something in you... I don't know maybe even Jason did." He takes another hesitant step toward her. "I think we all really hurt you and maybe... " He clears his throat. "...maybe talking to someone will help you get past it. I don't know. I want us to move on with our lives, I want us to be happy. But first we have to fix this... fix us." Clark watches her as her expression softens and her posture relaxes. She moves toward him. "So we could... um... we could get back to just being with each other." He finishes lowly.

Once in front of him she runs her hands up his chiseled chest, leaning up toward him, her mouth a breath away from his, "So fix me Clark." She says before brushing her lips against his.

He sighs before responding, deepening the kiss, his arms circle her waist pulling her closer. Her hands move across his body purposefully.

Breaking the kiss, Clark steps away shaking his head to regain focus he holds her back at arms length, "We can't do that."

"Why not? Is it because you're afraid you'll hurt me? Clark... " She trails off, trying to get closer but his immovable arms secure her place.

"No" He shakes his head again. "We're not ready Lana. Making love isn't going to fix anything."

Lana smiles sultrily, "But I want you Clark."

He looks at her, his mossy green eyes apologetic, "I'm sorry. But we're not ready." Then he amends with, "I'm not ready." before releasing her and walking out of the barn.


	7. CONFUSION Day 1:4

Ten faxes, six announcements, four articles fact checked, three cups of god-awful coffee, two obituaries, two unanswered emails from Clark, one avoided phone call as well, one email and response to Pete, one message left for Ollie and a bottle of water to break the monotony, all this in the four hours since Chloe left Clark standing in the Daily Planet and now finally she is able to follow-up on a lead received from one of her sources.

In the midst of sending a heads up via secure message to Victor about a new unknown lab developed on the outskirts of Metropolis; a buzzing from her cell phone draws her wary attention. Picking the phone from her desk she checks the ID to assure it isn't Clark before answering.

Rolling her eyes skyward, the blonde presses talk prepared to greet the caller until a loud voice interrupts.

"Chlo...damn. Why haven't you responded to my messages? I sent you like twenty!"

Chloe sighs, "Actually it was more like two Lo... "

"Oh!" Lois snorted. "So you got them huh? So what... you have something more important to do than answer your big cousin's calls when she needs you?"

Continuing to type up her message to Victor, the small blonde responds unfazed, "Lois... 'what are you doing?' and 'I'm bored' does not signal flashing red lights to me."

"Well I am bored! Come upstairs, lets have lunch at that little bistro around the corner."

Chloe looks at the clock and sighs in uncertainty, it's a good idea to get out of the building before Clark makes his mid day appearance. She's almost certain he will, especially since she hasn't responded to any of his attempts at contacting her earlier. So she resigns to suffer Lois in replace of another awkward encounter with her alien friend.

"Give me a couple of minutes Lo, let me finish up. Why don't you come down here?"

Lois huffs, "I can't. Grant has the guards on look out for me. I'm not to step foot inside the DP 'till tomorrow. This is just ridiculous. I'm a grown woman, if I say I'm fine then... and so what if I checked myself out of the hospital against... "

"Okay Lo... " Chloe rolls her eyes cutting her cousin off, "I'll meet you up there in five." Shutting the phone off before acknowledgment, the blonde inhales deeply.

She loves her cousin, she really does. She and Lois are so close, they're like sisters. But sometimes having to deal with her is just... exasperating. And recently Chloe's found the presence of her cousin to be very taxing. She grumbles to herself as she finishes the encryption and sends the message off to Victor. Grabbing her cell and palm pilot Chloe loops her satchel bag over head and walks towards the elevator as her thoughts continue.

Lois flounders and flails on everything she does, Chloe wonders if she even takes being a reporter seriously. Unfortunately, all signs point to 'NO'. She tries not to be bitter about it, but she has had to work hard all of her life just for this. Has wanted to be a reporter for the best newspaper on earth ever since she could take pen to pad. She's slaved her ass off to get here and even though she's still in the basement, Chloe's proud of her accomplishments.

Then Lois shimmies into the basement without purpose and a job just falls in her lap. It's unbelievable and kind of unheard of... this sort of opportunity just doesn't happen... except that it _did _happen... to Lois! Chloe almost growls as she enters the elevator. Sometimes it's even hard to believe that Uncle Sam is Lois' father. General Sam Lane is an honorable man, a hard working man, a man with direction and foresight and steadfastness. Lois? Well, not so much. Lois never really had to work hard for anything. Everything just appeared to come her way; even in her personal life. Men seem to just drop out of the sky in front of her... or Lois merely happens to be there when they knock on some one elses door. It's uncanny really... this ability Lois has to just happen upon. Chloe snorts, no hint of amusement as she exits the elevator on the ground floor. And to see her cousin come to the Daily Planet everyday and play reporter while playing other things with Grant is infuriating.

But Chloe swallows her disapproval and tries not to be resentful, tries to be supportive and encouraging the best way she knows how... it's all just really disheartening. But she loves her cousin, and if this helps Lois find her way, then it's all for the good. Chloe just wishes it weren't at the price of the belittlement of her own life, her own dreams.

Approaching Lois who's leaning against the wall beside the front doors, Chloe breathes warily. As with everything else in her life, Chloe paints on a smile while giving others what they need and deals with her own issues silently. Just like today.

--

Sitting across from her cousin, a half eaten Swiss and turkey croissant and cup of over-priced gourmet coffee in front of her, Chloe watches the world go by from the bistro window. People hustling and shuffling trying to make it to unknown destinations. Some young, out and about probably ditching school, some old, perhaps trying to make their appointments on time. Some dragging children along and others with their friends and/or lovers just enjoying each others company. Everyone has a story.

Chloe sighs wistfully. She misses Clark...and it really isn't just today. Ever since Lana came back from the 'dead' he's been focused on her. Even when they did spend time together afterwards, which to be honest was everyday, his attention was always away from her...always on Lana.

Deciding that they need space and time apart from each other, though sad, was a surprisingly easy decision to make. Because the truth is, lately when Clark is with Chloe...he still isn't _all _. Yet it will be difficult for her not to be _there _for Clark... and will take some time getting used to. 'But he'll be alright' Chloe assures herself. 'And our relationship will come out the better for it'. Lois' voice breaks through her reverie.

"So baby cousin, please do tell, where'd you go off to last night?" Lois asks, eyes narrowed inquisitively.

Still facing the window, eyes scanning the crowded street, Chloe answers flatly, "To a friend's."

"Do I know this said 'friend'?"

"I'm sure of it." Chloe turns her attention on her cousin, and takes a sip of her cooling coffee.

"Does said 'friend' have a name?" Lois asks unrelenting.

Chloe smirks, "Doesn't everyone?"

Lois unfazed by Chloe's sarcasm continues her inquisition, "Do you care to share?"

The blonde narrows her eyes incredulously, "Not really. But I will if you will."

"I have nothing to tell." Lois frowns bemused.

Chloe clarifies, "What's going on with you and Grant Gabriel?"

Taken aback by the abrupt and clearly unexpected question Lois takes a drink from her water bottle, "Look if you don't want to tell me about your friend you don't have to." she says lamely.

Chloe nods, "Right. That's what I thought." The disappointment clear in her bright green eyes.

"Anyway..." Lois clears her throat, uncomfortable by Chloe's discovery, "...the reason I asked... your idiot hick barged into... "

"Don't call him that." Chloe corrects her coolly.

Lois rolls her eyes, "Well he is." She waves the blonde off before she can retort. "Anyway, he came barging into the apartment today, like a recalcitrant child that lost his toy, demanding I give you back."

Chloe frowns, silent for a moment before she responds, "That's what I am right?" she says lowly. "Clark's little toy, he takes out of the box when he needs me and winds me up to amuse him, then tucks me away when he's done." She nods to herself, her eyes appear unfocused, faraway. "That's it isn't it?"

Disheartened by Chloe's tone and the emotion evident it her eyes, Lois grabs her hand across the table, squeezing it lightly, offering her cousin support, her voice light and understanding. "Chloe, I know I give Smallville a hard time, but that's just me, I'm not into the whole flannel lifestyle... but truly you guys have a great friendship." Chloe snorts in disbelief and rolls her eyes, convinced Lois is patronizing her. The brunette continues, "Seriously. The friendship... the _bond _you and Clark share... " she shakes her head, "...most romantic couples would kill for." she chuckles, "You guys get each other. You support each other, hell you even speak without speaking." She pauses lowering her voice to a whisper, "Now I'm about to say something and if you repeat this to anyone, I. Will. Kill. You... Sometimes I get really jealous of the friendship you have with him... it's really... beautiful." She says wistfully.

Then clears her throat in uneasiness she adds, her voice back to it's normal, harsh inflection, "Anyway, you and Smallville are _really _friends. You may have some rough times, but who the hell doesn't. The hayseed is an idiot. Sometimes you can't fault him. But I'll tell you like I told him earlier, if I see that little rodent around, I may just take a machete to her Luthor throat. M'kay?"

Chloe looks at her cousin intently, her green eyes focused, searching and seeing in her cousin what she's been missing for weeks. Her heart! Chloe smiles. She really does love Lois!


	8. CONFUSION Day 1:5

The day dragged on, for Clark it seemed to meander in a never ending stream of mounting frustration. After his confrontation with Lana, he tried to lose himself with chores around the farm, but nothing seemed to quiet his mind. He wanted to talk to Chloe. Their last encounter perplexed him greatly. And if he was willing to admit, which he wasn't, it seemed like she was trying to push him away. But that couldn't be, he told himself, something was definitely wrong with her and she just didn't want to talk to him about it. Just like with her krypto-ability and Dr. Knox. He knew he should be more concerned with Lana, trying to help her and getting their relationship back on track...but his mind didn't want to let go of his best friend. Clark convinced himself that as soon as he was able to get a handle on what exactly was going on with his Chloe, then he would be able to place his attention squarely on helping Lana, with Chloe's assistance of course.

Yet every attempt he made to contact his blonde friend was met with silence. Before lunch he emailed her twice and left a message on her voice mail, and nothing. Clark reminded himself that she said she was extremely busy today, that she was trying to impress her new editor, that she was possibly on the trail of some career making story. And every time he checked his computer and searched his cell for missed calls or texts messages and the caller ID to see she hadn't yet responded, he swallowed down his disappointment, and silenced his mother's voice in his head. _'Well Clark...What are you going to do? I hope you're planning on giving Chloe some space to work out everything she needs to.'_ His mother was wrong. Chloe was just busy.

Lana came to him hesitantly and asked if he wanted to do lunch on Main Street, Clark politely declined. He felt bad for blowing off his girlfriend, which he normally wouldn't do, knowing Lana more than likely took the time off from Isis to spend the day with him, but his best friend needed him, and he would never forgive himself if anything was to happened to Chloe. So when Lana frustrated and clearly put off, headed toward Metropolis to the Isis Foundation, Clark left for his standing mid-day, lunch appointment with Chloe.

Arriving on time at the Planet, he saw she wasn't there and the pipsqueak Olsen proved to be fruitless on helping find her. He heard her steady heartbeat, and was assured she was safe and close by but couldn't pinpoint her location among the throngs of people in Metropolis, only a quick x-ray scan of the Daily Planet building alerted Clark that she indeed wasn't there.

He waited in the city for over an hour and was able to stop two muggings, one potential hit and run and a convenience store robbery, before going back to the DP, only to find she was in a meeting with no set time of when it would be over.

With great reluctance he headed back to Smallville and the empty house. He tried calling Chloe twice again, to no avail and by the time Kara and Lana arrived that night, Clark had already succumb to a fitful sleep having neglected eating lunch and dinner.

--

For Chloe the rest of her day sped by. After her outing with Lois, in an attempt to avoid Clark, she was able to finagle her way into an inter-departmental meeting that took a couple hours to conclude. Afterward she got significant work done and much progress on a lead received regarding illegal pharmaceutical shipments, and the exact location of the new mystery lab. Though she may have appeared directed and focused on the outside, internally she was doubting the decision she made concerning Clark. Yet her resolve held and though it proved increasingly difficult not to answer when she saw his name on her cell id, she endured.

But the true test came at 12:43am. Sitting in Oliver's pent house on his very plush sofa garbed in her fluffy Smurf pajamas and her Scooby-Doo slippers; when Late Night with Conan O'Brian went on commercial break and she switched to Letterman, she eyed her cell phone sitting silently beside her. Hands itching to pick it up and press one on her speed dial for Clark, she wanted to comment on Letterman's satire and what he was saying now, and how much he differed from Conan. Chloe yearned to hear Clark make fun of Letterman, and tell her Irish was the best, (that always made her smile), and pressure her to turn it back to Conan because the show was back on and she almost missed the funny faces.

Looking at her undisturbed phone Chloe's eyes began to burn with unshed tears of frustration and disappointment. And when a single tear made it past her barricade she turned the tv off, quieting both Conan and Letterman and went to the guest room, because by this time, nothing would silence her plaguing doubts but sleep.


	9. CONFUSION Dream 1

_The afternoon sunlight streams in through the Talon doors, casting a golden light on the busy patrons. To and fro; in and out, and each time the jingle of the bell above the door signals another arrival or departure. In a secluded corner away from the bustling crowd, Clark sits at a table with Lana at his left and Chloe directly across from him. Chloe's melodious laugh has her tilting head back catching the rays of stray light in her hair, making it appear as pure as spun gold. She's captivating. Clark smiles happily. _

_Happy. For the first time in what seems like forever Clark was genuinely happy, savoring the joy of being truly carefree. He didn't worry about his destiny or about the cares of the world. There was no immediate danger trying to claim his attention or an apocalypse to look forward to, although he didn't totally write it off for tomorrow. But for right now, he was simply happy. Ecstatic really, to be sitting beside the love of his life, the girl he'd dreamed of having for so long and his best friend in the entire universe, the only person he admittedly couldn't live without sitting across from him. She looked happy too, he thought. And that was enough for him._

_Squeezing Clark's hand under the table Lana whispers, "We're finally together!"He turns to her with the remains of a smile on his face and simply nods in response before turning back to Chloe. And they were together...all three of them. Just how he always envisioned it. The most important women in his life, all he was missing now was his mother. Now that would be perfect._

_Chloe continues talking across from him, bringing him up to date on her latest story or filling him in on DP gossip or her observations of random people she's seen; she always has a story made up about a stranger. "I love Smallville, everyone is...so animated. On my way here there was this guy walking his dog," Clark smiles brightly at her in anticipation of her tale._

_Chloe notices and smirks playfully, "...not a euphemism farm boy. Your mind's been mucking around with the pigs again hasn't it?"_

_He laughs, "We don't have pigs Chlo." Ah, she knows me a little to well he thinks. No one else... just Chloe._

_"Yeah, yeah..." She continues. Her animated facial expressions captivate him, as they change along with every facet of her story. It was definitely a sight to see, and Clark found himself completely enthralled. Chloe beams across the table at him, shaking her head. Clark couldn't help but notice how bright her smile was; how beautiful his friend truly was, inside and out. _

_The raven haired girl caresses his arm, "You know we belong together Clark." Yeah Lana we do, he can only think with a relaxed sigh. All is really as it should be. _

_Again Clark nods in her direction, before turning back to Chloe, "So what type of dog was it anyway?"_

_She snorts while taking a sip of her coffee, "Don't know, I think it was a pug nose."_

_Clark's hardy laughter invades the shuffling quiet of the Talon. Leave it to Chloe, only she could make me laugh this hard. It really is never a dull moment with her._

_Chloe continues while trying to hold in her amusement, "Anyway, it got me thinking of you and Shelby..."_

_His laughter dies almost immediately, and his voice takes on a serious threatening tone, "What about me and Shelby?" He asks, knowing all too well and fearing the way her magnificent mind worked._

_"Well, in highschool..." she continues on comparing Shelby's coat to the shag he sported way back when, but Clark can't seem to turn away from her when she gets that gleam in her emerald eyes as if she's recalling a specific memory... it's beautiful. "...you and Shelby could probably be a matching set, it seems to be what's in now." She chuckles. Well, he thought. Shelby is a really good looking dog._

_Clark glares at her feigning anger and before he can respond Lana interjects, "You were awesome in high school." Oh-kay? Now what's really Lana's deal?_

_Chloe finally takes notice of her with narrowed eyes, she retorts, "I didn't even think you noticed him in high school Lana. What with Whitney and Jason, Adam and the other meteor affected zombies at your disposal." I guess Chloe noticed it too. Huh? _

_Lana smiles at Chloe then returns her attention to Clark, hugging his arm as she looks up at him with wide eyes, "You're my soul mate." UH...Yeah Ok. Totally weird, but I guess we are? Right? Hmm._

_Returning Lana's smile he once again simply nods before redirecting his brilliant smile to Chloe, "I talked to Pete, apparently he thinks he's found 'The One.'" I know Chloe would enjoy that one. Pete always swears he's found the future mother of his children._

_Chloe chuckles lightly, "'The One' huh? Probably some brainless barbie doll with out of this world headlights and pom poms."_

_Again he laughs then quiets as if in contemplation. Pasting on an innocent smile, "What's wrong with pom poms?" Pom Poms are great he thinks. Chloe used to have some, I wonder if she still does. Oh and the cheerleader uniform. That would be great. I need to remind myself to ask her. Lana used to be a cheerleader...Yeah._

_Chloe glares at him, "You are such a guy! Anyway the Planet did an article on his mom last week. Do you think when Pete starts his campaign he would give me an interview? Or do you think that's almost like crossing the invisible integrity boundary or something? You know, using a life-long friendship to further my career or whatever..." She bites her lip pondering the idea._

_Her nibbling like that is a little distracting, Clark blinks, ok she asked you a question... think. "I don't see it as a problem, I doubt Pete would mind, he'd probably prefer it be you." Clark responds._

_She nods absently seeming deep in thought, "What do you think his slogan would be?"_

_Clark bursts out in laughter startling Chloe out of her musings, "You're already writing the article in your head aren't you?" She is such 'the reporter'. Her mind is always working. That's why I love her._

_Chloe looks at him wide eyed with a sheepish smile, "What? Shut up Clark!" She reaches across the table to slap him playfully on the arm. Rolling her eyes with a smile as he continues to laugh "Anyway it would probably be something ridiculous like 'Make Love Not War'. He always said he was a lover not a fighter." She nods her head in agreement with herself._

_"Or something like 'Plant a Kiss Not Your Fists'" Clark snorts. I'm so good. I should become his campaign manager._

'_Oh and you rhyme too? Clark I'm so proud of you." She laughs then continues ominously. "You're the fighter."_

_He abruptly stops laughing sensing the turn in the conversation, laying his right hand on top of Chloe's on the table, "I can be the lover too." I mean it. I can have both. I can be in love and fight for the world._

_Chloe shakes her head vehemently, "That roles already filled. You're the fighter Clark...MY hero." Always, Clark thinks, I will always be there for you Chloe. You mean more to me than you know.Lana kisses his cheek, "I am so in love Clark." Yeah me too Lana. His focus wholly on Chloe.The blonde rolls her eyes, and begins to rise from her seat. Her mouth is moving wordlessly, he can't make out what she's saying._

_He halts her movements, "What?" he asks. Ok, what's going on now? Where's Chloe going?_

_Chloe looks him directly in the eye placing both hands flat on the table and leans in, "I said, I'm not needed here any longer." What? I'll always need you Chloe...for everything. Your everything! He thinks._

_Lana continues in her whispery voice, "I just need to know you love me ...no matter what." Yeah you said that before Lana. What exactly do you want from me? I love you...sheesh! She's kind of starting to get on my nerves with all of this.. _

_Clark turns to look at Lana who is now completely plastered to his side and seems to be oblivious to anything but him. He studies the sincerity portrayed in her hazel eyes. Then redirecting his attention to his blonde friend who's still leaning over the table toward him. For the first time he notices how low-cut the top of her shirt is and the ample amount of cleavage that can be seen. Amazing. He licks his lips and slowly shifts his gaze from her enticing chest to her emerald eyes which seem to be sparkling with mischief. Clark offers a smile, "Can I come?" Please say yes, he thinks. I need to get away for a little while myself, and who better to get away with. You Chloe, always you._

_"It's your choice Clark. In time, you'll have to make a choice!" Chloe tells him, meeting his eyes directly._

_Lana tugs his arm, "Clark she just wants us to be happy." Clark looks at his dark haired companion, bemused at her words. She adds, "Let's get back to our life." Oh, um... Sure?_

_And suddenly they're standing outside of the Talon in front of the alley. Lana still to his left holding his hand in both of hers, he looks to the door of the Talon as streams of people continue to enter and exit. "We should wait for Chloe." Clark says, his eyes still surveying the crowd. _

_Lana smiles innocently, "I told you she wants us to be happy. Anyway, she already jumped out of your back pocket."_

_He turns to Lana in astonishment, "What? How?" That's not right, he thinks. _

_She shrugs, "I guess you forgot to tuck her back in when you let her out." How could I have forgotten that? No! She'll come back. I need her. She belongs with me._

_He looks away from her toward the crowd shaking his head in denial, he sees a head of blonde hair in the distance. "No, look!" He points in Chloe's direction and calls out to her, Chloe doesn't stop nor does her pace falter." Chloe!" He calls out again, and nothing. He moves to go into super speed to catch up with her but can't. "What's happening?" He asks. This is too strange. Chloe's ignoring me, I can't reach her. This is not the way it's supposed to be. Is it?_

_"We have a normal life now Clark, she wanted you to be happy." Lana explains. That's what I've always wanted right? He asks himself. Yeah it is, but..._

_"But I'm not normal" He cries peering down at Lana. "She can't leave without me." Lana shrugs dumbly again. How could she just up and leave without me? That wasn't part of the plan._

_He looks back toward Chloe's direction, amazingly the crowd is gone along with his best friend, disappeared into nothing. Leaving a disturbingly quiet Main Street, the only inhabitants being himself and Lana._


	10. CONFUSION Day 2:1

With the rising of the morning sun Clark is abruptly pulled out of the depths of his sleep, an inexplicable feeling of loss weighing on him. It is strange really, the last time he'd felt this way was almost 2 years ago when Raya died. And since then the only loss felt was far worse than that; right before he pulled Chloe out of that morgue drawer almost a half a year ago. At the time he felt his world was caving in, he couldn't breathe, he didn't _want _breathe. But that was then...right now he can't quite put a name to what he's feeling, the only word to describe it was...loss.

Trying to shake off the remnants of his dream, he feels Lana cuddled up peacefully to his left side, holding onto his arm possessively. Turning to look at her sleeping form, he reminds himself, that it is only a dream. Just a dream, a weird dream...but a _dream _none the less. But still breathing deeply to calm his nerves Clark is finding it hard to shake off this feeling of...loss?

Gently untangling himself from Lana's death-grip, he slowly rises from the bed, his movements sluggish and fatigued. He makes his way down the stairs and to the kitchen, zeroing in on his laptop, sitting at the counter logging in ready to check his messages. He already knows Chloe hadn't called. Actually the only one that called was his mother, a call answered by Kara before she left for her date. He was already in the bed by then and had no desire to move. Even when Lana quietly entered the room, he feigned sleep, because truthfully, he just didn't want to talk to anyone...anyone but Chloe.

Scrolling though his recent messages he was on the look-out for only three addresses. or or and neither of the addresses responded to his previous emails. As he searches again to make sure he doesn't miss anything, Kara bounces down the stairs. She must of had fun last night Clark muses fleetingly, eyes still searching the screen.

"Hey Kal," his cousin greets brightly.

Clark wants to roll his eyes or grumble at the use of his birth name, but really he just can't muster the energy to correct her. He simply grunts in response, his attention still riveted on the computer screen. Now checking to see if the messages he sent were delivered successfully. And it appears they were.

From behind him, Kara's voice sounds out in inquiry, "Whatcha looking for? Because I'm sure whatever it is James or Chloe can help you find it..They can find anything..."

The slamming down of the laptop screen cut off his cousins words. "I have to go get ready." Clark mumbles as he rises, heading towards the stairs.

Kara watches his retreating form bewildered, before looking back at the destroyed laptop, that now had a Clark size hand print pressed into it, resting on the cracked counter top.

She whistles, "Aunt Martha, is going to kill you." She sing-songs going to the fridge to begin preparing breakfast.

--

Minutes before 7am Clark is at the Talon counter ordering Chloe's morning fix then knocking on the apartment door. He knows she probably stayed in Metropolis again, but he has to try. Scanning the apartment with his x-ray vision after receiving no response he heads to the Daily Planet. He refuses to think, because if he thinks, he will conclude that his best friend is avoiding him. So he doesn't think, it's better not to think, and as he descends the stairs into the basement and sees Chloe's golden head of hair fanning around her face, he's happy that he didn't think.

For the first time in what seemed like the longest day of his life, Clark breathes a relaxed sigh. He literally feels the tension drain from his muscles, and that inexplicable feeling of what he refused to think about became a distant memory. He smiles happily. He is elated, almost giddy. But as he nears her desk and Chloe's eyes rise to meet his he's stopped short. His friend doesn't look happy at all...Chloe looks weary. Clark's smile falters, the frown marring her beautiful face is disconcerting. The caution in her usually vibrant eyes makes him nervous.

Reaching her desk, Clark places the coffee container down gently, the exact same place he held it yesterday. "Hey!" he greets hesitantly.

Chloe watches him, again she is aware of when he entered the building, but today she can't work up the strength to avoid him. She eyes the coffee cup for a moment before meeting his hopeful gaze and sighs, "What are you doing here _Clark_?" her tone flat.

He taps the cup lightly, "I came to bring you your coffee." he explains, his lips quirking in an awkward smile.

"I thought we agreed, we'd stop the morning coffee runs _Clark_?"

'Why does she keep saying my name like that?' He wonders, becoming annoyed with her uninflected tone. "_We _didn't agree to anything! You suggested, I vetoed!"

Chloe nods curtly, "Right!" her voice clipped. She pushes herself up from the desk, "Can I talk to you?" She doesn't look at him, just walks past toward the copy room not waiting his reply.

Watching her before he even makes a step, "That's all I wanted." he mumbles tucking his hands in his pockets he begins to follow.

When Clark enters the confined space, Chloe closes the door behind him gently. The big alien continues to watch her cautiously, speculatively. He's not sure what's going on, but is both eager and terrified to find out. Still he refuses to guess, because guessing would mean thinking. And if he thinks about what this could be about...NO! He'd rather just not think.

Chloe walks wordlessly past Clark trying to determine the best way to tell him. She braces herself, hands flat on the copy machine, her back to him, she takes a steadying breath. She knows now, that she has to tell him. He isn't getting her subtlety. Damn! How she wishes he got her subtlety. She hates seeing Clark hurt or sad, even more to be the one to cause him to be hurt or sad but...but then she thinks it's _just _me...so it won't be too bad. He'll be alright! She assures herself.

With an internal resignation she begins lowly, "I didn't want to say this..." If Clark didn't have super hearing he would have missed it.

Chloe finally turns to face him, "Clark..." she begins as if talking to a child, "...we need some space. Time away from each other. We need to not see each other for awhile." She says not even pausing to take a breath or to gauge his reaction.

Clark frowns taking a step towards her, "Wha..."

"I told you yesterday..." she cuts him off, raising a hand to prevent his nearness, "...and the night before. We need to focus on our own lives."

"Why?" His question sounds pained.

"Truthfully?"

"Always." is his automatic response. He needs to know.

"Lana." She says simply.

"Lana?" Clark is incredulous. What the hell does Lana have to do with this? Chloe can't be jealous can she...no! He shakes his head wordlessly dismissing the idea. She doesn't feel that way about him anymore! Does she? Clark scowls this makes no sense. "What does Lana have to do with anything?" His voice sounds harsh to his ears.

The tiny blonde clears her throat before she takes a deep breath weighing her answer, hoping it will be enough, "Lana's your girlfriend Clark." Clark nods his head impatiently wanting her to get to the point, his heartbeat quickens, Chloe continues, "I respect that you want to stand by her, to help her get back on the moral high road, to save your relationship with her." She pauses to breathe and reign in her emotions. Then says quickly, "I get it. I respect it. It's almost noble. You love her, you want to do this, for her, with her but..." She trails off not wanting to finish.

"But?" Clark pushes.

She exhales, her words come out as if she's releasing a load, "But I don't have to be there!"

Silence falls between them, gazes lock as Clark tries to process what his best friend is saying. While Chloe hopes he will just leave it at that and walk away. While they stare into the depths of each other, the air around them becomes thick and heavy, the tension palpable. Clark clenches his jaw, and his nostrils begin to flare in anger. Chloe feels the heat of his disapproval rolling off of him in waves. She involuntarily takes a step back. All of a sudden Clark appears entirely to large for the small space. His presense dominating the room.

Clark finally breaks the suffocating silence, "But Lana's your friend!" He says through gritted teeth...he's seething with tension.

Chloe shakes her head and nervously licks her drying lips, she swallows the choking knot forming in her throat, "No Clark..." her voice calmer than she expected. "_I _was Lana's friend! She hasn't been mine for a long time now."

"How could you say that!" he shouts.

Now Chloe is becoming angry, "How can I say that?" Her hands flying expressively, "You may not want to see it Clark, but Lana isn't the same person we knew in high school..." Her voice begins to rise. "Lana uses people Clark, she used me! She lied to me! Now I'm not mentioning what she did to Lionel, but she almost put my cousin, my own flesh and blood in traction! She could have _killed _Lois! THAT...is how I can say that! A real friend wouldn't do that!"

Clark seems to deflate in both emotion and posture at her explanation, "You're the most caring, the most loving person I know Chloe...doesn't Lana deserve a little of your forgiveness?" Right now Clark isn't sure if he is pleading for Lana or himself. But he has a guilty suspicion it was for the latter.

Chloe bites her lip at his tone, she wants to cry. "I forgive Lana, Clark" She says softly. " I just..." She swallows and fists her hands at her sides, "...that doesn't mean that I have to help her or be her friend."

"So why do _we _need space?" He asks softly, defeated. .

"Because you're with her Clark." She points out. "You made a choice to stand by her. To stick with her." She sighs heavily and looks away from him, "and as much as I want to stick by you and support you I...can't. Not yet! I need sometime to see past what she's done. Because right now Clark, that's all I see...I don't even see Lana!" She chokes out, a single tear falling from her expressive eye. She brushes it away swiftly. "And God Clark, I hate this...and I hate feeling this way toward anyone. But right now, Lana's not a necessity in my life. With everything I have going on right now, all that I have to focus on..." She meets Clark's saddened eyes, and looks away quickly, he looks like he's about to cry and seeing him cry would just break her, so taking a deep breath once again fisting her hands tightly, her nails digging into her palms, her petite body begins to shake from fighting the emotional pressure, , "I don't have it in me to be there for her. Right now, I just don't need her." She finishes quietly.

"So..." His voice hoarse, clearing his throat he tries again, "So you're making me choose? You or Lana?"

Chloe shakes her head in dismay, "I'm not making you choose Clark." She looks at him as his posture goes rigid with tension, he appears as if he's ready to strike. "That's the point. _I'm_..." she gestures to herself, "...making a choice."

"No Chloe!" He says tightly. "You're giving me an ultimatum. Either I abandon Lana or I lose you as a friend!"

She looks at him for a moment incredulously. After everything she just said, he's really going to make it look that simple...and petty. She scoffs, "You know what Clark, if that's the way you want to see it!" She shrugs. "Fine!" Shaking her head in disbelief Chloe moves toward the closed door. "I have work to do."

Clark's arm shoots out blocking her exit, "We're not done here!" He growls, his eyes flashing crimson.

She stares up at him defiantly ignoring the warning in his eyes, "I think we are Clark." She says too calmly, the shaking in her muscles belying her tone. "I am asking for some time away from you and _your _soap opera of a relationship and you are going to give it to me." She folds her arms over her chest, hoping it will steady the trembling that betrays her resolve. "In fact, you are going to walk right out side this door. Up the stairs and from there..." She shrugs. "...go wherever your long legs and super speed can take you. I don't know. Go on vacation." Her tone now light and almost mocking, "Lana has an affinity for Paris. Why don't you take her there?"

Clark overlooks her intentional goading, "So, I have no say? This is just it?" He asks. Clark can hardly breathe through tension.

Chloe stares at him, her defiance gone yet her tone and answer remains resolute. "No Clark. I'm sorry. Like I said, I just need some time."

Choking back his defeat, his back straight, Clark nods silently. He needs to get out of here now, before he... Clark grabs the door handle crushing it in his hand as he swings the door open. Chloe watches dismayed breathing rapidly as Clark leaves her line of sight. Calmly with her head held high almost regally she walks in the opposite direction of him towards the bathroom. She tells herself she will not cry, she will not cry as her eyes begin to burn. But the closer she gets to her destination, the closer the tears get to falling, until finally in a quiet corner sliding down the wall, legs folded to her chest, she bends her head to her knees and releases a choked sob.


	11. CONFUSION Day 2:2

Hot! Clark wasn't affected by external climate changes, but he knows he feels hot internally. There's so many things, too many emotions roiling. Confusion, yes. Annoyance, definitely. Desperation, possibly. Anger, he isn't sure. But it was clear he feels something... something akin to anger, something hot and violent vibrating from the core of his being begging to be released. A hot fiery current surging through him, radiating out from him as uncommon beads of moisture accumulate on his skin. This heat dominates as Clark sightlessly ascends the stairs of the Daily Planet. He has to leave! This sensation frightens him. And hearing the erratic beating of Chloe's heart, matching his own and the rapid inhale, exhale of her breathing did nothing but fan the wild fire of fury claiming him. There was no other option, Clark has to get out.

Chloe wanted space, she wanted him to leave, at first he had every intention of debating her, he wanted to refuse her demand, but as he stood there staring into her determined emerald orbs crackling intensely with electricity, ready to challenge her, something inside of him snapped. Something he couldn't quite explain and frankly it scared him… Staring down at his blonde friend, eyes locked in battle a fire roared to life. This searing _heat _overcame him, consuming him and Clark knew at once he wouldn't be able to contain it. He didn't want to. Yet he couldn't afford to lose control, he didn't want to hurt her. But right then… oh god he really desired to. He wanted to just let loose.

Now as he arrives at the ground floor, Clark's desperate to get far away from here, away from Chloe, away from any person actually, because this unimaginable scorching fire was blazing within him and he didn't trust himself not to explode. And though hating himself for it, he fiercely wants to unleash it.

A moving statue, Clark stoically walks the floor heading to the exit. He's terrified. He can't bring himself to move too swiftly, his control already hanging by a thread. Clark keeps his movement concise and careful feeling the build up of this volcanic energy right below the surface.

So focused on the doors ahead, so intent on his escape, the outside world illuminated by the morning sun like salvation, Clark's oblivious to the happenings in the lobby surrounding him. When out of no where, something light hits his chest. Halting his steps, Clark looks down slowly, his movements calculated, almost robotic, only to see Jimmy Olsen peering up at him eyes wide with bewilderment.

"Geez CK, didn't you see me?" Jimmy began to rise keeping a careful eye on the larger man, "I've been standing here trying to get your attention."

Clark merely watches the smaller man as he stands. Fleetingly he thinks of helping Jimmy up, but didn't dare try for fear of breaking him. "You okay?" Clark questions, his voice dry and hollow.

"Yeah." Jimmy replies cautiously. Seeing something wild yet barely caged lurking in Clark's eyes, "Are you?" he ripostes.

Clark nods mutely as he begins again toward his freedom. Jimmy motions to stop him, but thinks better of it, snatching his hand back. Self preservation winning out over his curiosity. There can be only one reason Clark Kent would be at the Daily Planet this early and judging by the look in his eyes... Jimmy looks towards the stairs leading into the basement and back to the path Clark exited before rushing down the stairs to find Chloe, his heart beginning to pound in his chest.

Outside the sun beating down on him, coating his skin with it's healing rays, Clark felt anything but appeased. Stiffly walking the crowded street, the sea of people accompanying morning rush hour navigating around him, Clark's wild with uncertainty. The further away he walks, the more frantic he becomes. Chloe didn't want him anymore. She didn't want him around if he stayed with Lana! How dare she give him... make him choose? Clark wants to scream, he wants to rage.

Almost three blocks away from the Daily Planet, fists clenched, jaw locked in determination, Clark turns around locking his sight on the fragile building. The brick and steel a facade of security, it's a movable fort to Clark. He takes a step towards it, he wants to go back and take back what's his. Chloe's not getting away. She can't just push him away. She can't just leave him, he won't let her... not her, not his Chloe!

"It's only momentary. It's only momentary." Chloe's voice, like a cool breeze whispers in his ears. Clark comes to an abrupt stop, his head tilts in concentration. He hears her again, "It's only momentary." He can hear her heartbeat regulate. Her calming deep breaths, soothing the savage heat inside of him. Unconsciously his mind begins to repeat her mantra, snuffing out the fire blazing within. "It's only momentary." Just for a little while, he tells himself. He can give her the space she asked for. For a little while he amends. But soon, he'll make her see it's the wrong decision. Clark almost smiles, his posture relaxing slightly. "You can do this Chloe..." he hears her say and he counters internally, 'You can do this Clark.' Yes, he'll leave her alone... for now.

"Chloe? Are you ok?" Clark picks up a foreign voice. A familiar voice.

He hears Chloe clear her throat, "Yeah" she says. "Just fine Jimmy!" Her words are clipped. She's on the defensive. "Thanks for asking." Her heartbeat picks up a bit. Clark tenses again. How dare that little pipsqueak photographer, make his Chloe feel like that!

He can make out a sigh from Jimmy, "Look bright eyes, I know I haven't been friendly lately..." Jimmy pauses, Clark can hear his nervousness, "...I admit, I was extremely hurt when we ended. And I was wrong to take it out on you. It was my decision after all..." Chloe's heart calms, Clark interprets this change in her as relief.

Jimmy continues, "...I just... I know we're not together anymore, but you're still like the best person I know..." Jimmy begins to stammer. Clark shuts his eyes tightly in frustration, he swallows thickly seeing Chloe's brilliant smile in his mind. His breath is heavy and deep as the same inexplicable heat fans anew, Jimmy's words, his voice feeding the fury. "...I guess what I'm saying is. You asked before if we could be friends, and I was a complete jerk about it." He chuckles nervously. "Well, if you still want to be friends... I guess I'm offering... if you ever want to talk or whatever." Jimmy finishes with a note of uncertainty.

"I could use a friend, Jimmy!" the smile in Chloe's voice is staggering to Clark.

"Great!" the insufferable photographer says. The excitement in his voice unmistakable. Clark can hear a clapping in the background. He growls at the thought of Jimmy hugging her. "Come, Coffee on me!" he offers brightly.

"What!" Clark shouts out to no one. He ignores the heads turning to him in puzzlement. Chloe has coffee and she already has a friend! He argues silently. _'I'm _her friend, her best friend and she doesn't need another!' Clark looks around wildly, he has to get away. He can't stay here anymore, he needs release! The inevitable explosion no longer alluding him, Clark speeds away leaving a burst of wind so strong it shook the surroundings. People toppling, windows cracking, and car alarms sounding in the wake of a phantom blast of vengeful wind.


	12. CONFUSION Day 2:3

Mornings on the farm were always difficult. Lana abhorred waking up alone even less than she appreciated sharing. Lex understood and even made concessions for this little quirk. Leaving little notes, or phoning her when he knew she would be waking. He was a busy man after all and more times than not his days began when the Asian market opened. She understood, or she tried to understand. It was business and Lex was nothing if not a business man.

But Clark isn't a business man. Lana isn't naive. She grew up a little less than a mile from the Kent farm. She knew their days started with the morning sun. It is a farmers life. But that doesn't mean she has to like it and she tolerates it even less knowing all that Clark's capable of doing. Yet she reasons it's a begrudging sacrifice, the price to pay for having the love she desires.

This morning the bed is cold, his side abandoned. When she was roused by the lack of warmth, Clark's absence was glaringly obvious, so cold was his side, if she hadn't of lain beside his sleeping form last night, Lana would have believed he hadn't even slept there. Though it wasn't uncommon for him to be out early, Clark usually came back to check on her, or was there to greet her when, for what she knew, he heard her begin to rise. But that was over an hour ago. And now sitting on the bed she shared with Clark, the confines of the silent room bearing down on her, Lana begins to seethe. Where the hell is he?

She's aware they're going through a tough time now, and even willing to concede that much of it is her fault. But they'll have to work it out. She has no doubt that they'll overcome this, but only if Clark is here, making the effort as she is and takes care of his responsibilities.

Yesterday he blew off her attempt at reconciliation and shot down her need for intimacy. If she wasn't sure that Clark adored her, Lana would think it was over. But it isn't, it would never be. Clark has loved her since before she could remember, and his love will continue to be there. Besides if she could forgive his lies and past deception, not to mention overlook his abnormalities to be with him, surely he could get over her little indiscretion. It isn't like she just attacked Lex or Lionel without provocation. No! They deserved it for what they put her through. Why doesn't Clark understand that? Well... whatever, in any case she will make him see reason. After all, they belong together. Clark's love for her is everlasting.

Breathing deeply, her patience wanes, Lana rises from her position on the bed, making her way to the heart of the Kent farmhouse.

Entering the kitchen, she finds Kara leisurely sitting at the counter viewing what appears to be a crushed laptop. "What are you doing?" Lana asks, scrutinizing the other girl as she walks closer.

Kara glances her way before directing her attention back to her inspection. "I'm trying to see if this is salvageable." She answers flatly.

Lana grimaces taking a closer look, "What happened to it?" She notices the very large hand print branding the top as Kara closes the screen.

"I guess Kal and Mac had a disagreement. Kal won." Kara states breezily rising from the counter. She ignores the bemused and slightly constipated look gracing Lana's face as she studies the damage.

Lana runs her hand lightly over the large indentation, and then the crack in the counter, "Clark did this?" She knows Clark was somewhat angry yesterday, but this… He can't be that upset with her. It doesn't matter, she tells herself, Clark will get over it. They will work it out. Kara's voice interrupts her mental coaching.

"That is what I said, isn't it?" Kara tilts her head quizzically, "Do you not understand simple human English?" She asks snidely.

Lana bristles, she looks up narrowing her eyes at the Kryptonian, "I understand you perfectly."

Kara nods brusquely, "Good." She states turning toward the stairs. Lana's voice stops her ascent.

"You don't like me very much do you?" She questions sincerely.

Kara turns, eyes intent on the brunette girl, searching her. Lana shifts, uncomfortable by her intense scrutiny. "I don't know you," Kara responds with blatant detachment. She adopts a measured and formal tone."...only of what you have done."

The perfunctory manner of Kara's response surprises Lana, it is at times like this that she remembers that this statuesque girl is not human. And honestly, she would prefer to go without the reminder. "What have I done?" Lana asks coolly, her head held high in defiance.

Hands held on her hips, Kara's answer came immediately, without pause or thought as if by rote. "You have deceived the people that care about you. You were unfaithful to your betrothed and your child and attempted to engage Kal-El in adultery. If my understanding of human politics are correct, you were unlawful in falsifying your claims of death. And have made Kal-El party to your deception." Kara tilts her head, "Is my understanding accurate?"

Lana shuts her eyes, breathing deeply to steady her reaction, "Partly." She answers. "Lex is dangerous. He hurt me and would have killed me before he let me leave him. And I..." She trails off. Then continues, swallowing down the pain of her next statement, "I was never pregnant."

"It is of no consequence. You believed yourself to be." Kara says dismissively. Shaking her head in disapproval, her next words comes out more impassioned. "This is not our custom on Krypton. The House of El is a noble house, and an honorable family. We are loyal to our people. If my understanding is correct as you confirmed, you are not loyal or trustworthy to those who care for you and therefor you are not a fit match for Kal-El."

Lana stiffens, fists and jaws clench in anger, she hates that name 'Kal-El', it's just another reminder she could do without. "CLARK… " She emphasizes, " …loves me. It is his decision to make. And we are not on Krypton!" She seethes.

Kara lowers her head somberly, "No we are not." She voices lowly. Then raising her head to meet Lana's gaze directly she adds, "But that does not diminish that we are El's."

"Clark is a Kent." Lana corrects vehemently.

"And yet Aunt Martha, is the most honorable human I know." Kara ripostes.

Lana frowns, "Humans make mistakes Kara."

"As do Kryptonians. But is it really a mistake if one does it intentionally?"

Lana straightens her stance defensively, "You have no right to judge me! Clark and I are together, you need to get used to it."

Kara shrugs noncommittal. "You are right. It is not my choice, it is… " trailing off, she stiffens and tilts her head in concentration. Her attention claimed by a rumble and feral roar in the distance. She can hear the ferocious beating of a heart and what seems like crashing and pounding somewhere not too far off. She turns her head in the direction of these sounds.

Lana looks at her quizzically, alarmed by the change in her posture, "What is it?" Receiving no response she asks, "Is it Clark?"

Kara turns her head back to Lana yet remains silent.

The brunette narrows her eyes in annoyance, "Where is he?" she crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'm not sure." Kara answers distracted, her attention tuned to the destruction she hears in the background. She frowns, distressed by what she hears.

Lana gazes at her intently, her frustration with the girl mounting, she wants so badly to shake her. For a silent moment, both women remain in place. Lana awaiting some detail, Kara mainly waiting her out. Lana breaks first, almost stomping over to the door. She grabs her purse, "Fine!" She huffs. Turning back to Kara she says, "When you see Clark, tell him I went to Isis and to call me." She opens the back door, but before she leaves adds, "Can I trust you to do that?"

Kara straightens at her accusations, "I am very trustworthy**.**"

Lana scoffs, she can note the unsaid 'thank you very much' in Kara's voice. 'Kryptonian my ass', She thinks as she exits, leaving the other girl alone with her righteous indignation.

As soon as Lana's jeep pulls out of the driveway, Kara flies up and out toward Clark's location. She isn't sure what is going on and can't even determine exactly what she hears. She only knows that whatever it is concerns her greatly.

--

After leaving Metropolis, Clark finds himself alone on a deserted portion of the back-forty behind the farm. This remote area is where he always came when testing a new power if needed, without the fear of someone seeing him. But right now, this need for isolation isn't for power control or mere curiosity of his limits, this is solely for release. A destructive release. Filling the need Clark uproots trees, breaking them down to kindling in his hands and setting them ablaze with his eyes. Clark throws boulders into the sky, his streams of heat-vision so violently hot, they disintegrate to nothing and each time the exertion of power forces from him a roar so deep it shakes his surroundings, causing the remaining trees to wave emphatically in response.

He doesn't think... he _can't _think. His blood rushes so rapidly, the only thing he can hear, the only thing coherent is the incessant pounding of his own heart. All he can feel is the fire raging inside of him, wanting to get out. Clark continues to feed this destructive craving, tree after tree, boulder after boulder, until finally he falls to his knees exhausted from his exertion, but continues to pound into the ground rhythmically with his fists, creating small craters in the usually undisturbed soil. Until the last of his energy depletes and the fire inside of him is purged and sated.

Breathing heavily, Clark is still and his mind begins again. Chloe doesn't want him in her life anymore. She's going to replace him with Jimmy, for the second time. If Clark had the energy he would sob. But right now as he rests on his knees and closed fists in the now leveled field due to his own handy work, all he can do is wonder, "Why?" He chokes out to the still air. Why this reaction? Why is he so angry? Why does she want space? Why can't they see each other? He refuses to believe it's as simple as she claims. As he continues to gulp down lung fulls of air, he reaffirms to himself, he'll give her the space she wants for the time being. But it isn't over!

Clark tries to rise from his dogged position, he pushes up from the ground only to falter and fall back, too wasted to move. And this is how Kara finds him.

Nearing her cousin, Kara stops frozen in mid-air staring down at what she can only call a war-zone. She surveys the decimated field below, and zooms her sight in on Clark bowed low to the ground. She picks up his hoarse question, "Why?" Her heart aches at the sound of his agony. Yet she can't help but wonder what all of this is about. Kara really can't fathom the display of this much passion for Lana. She really isn't worth it... and even more, Kara has lived with both of them for months now and has never seen anything remotely close to passion between them, nothing that would incite this kind of fury or devastation. Nothing between them ever suggested to her, that Kal had this type of fervor or even that it could be evoked in him. Kara blinks, shocked and eyes wide from her position in the sky, the only thing she can say is, "Wow!"

Clark stiffens, hearing his cousin's exclamation from above, he wants to look up, to tell her to go away, but doesn't have the energy for anything except his next breath.

Touching down lightly, Kara calls to him, "Kal?" She's cautious, unsure of his motives. She's heard about the various types of kryptonite and their differing effects. Eliminating the possibility that his reaction is because of his raven-haired pet, she surmises it must be from kryptonite exposure. Yet _she _doesn't feel anything, "Kal, are you okay?" She asks, not daring to move closer just in case. Receiving no response from him, she frowns and tries again, "Are you alright? Is it kryptonite?" She needs to know before she comes any closer.

"No." Clark drawls with effort.

And that's all the assurance she needs, with long brisk steps Kara meets him, lifting his huge frame effortlessly by his arms, she examines him. Her eyes pass over his body scanning quickly from head to foot, before meeting his weary gaze. "What's the matter with you?" She asks upon seeing nothing physically impairing.

Clark swallows hard, then clears his throat, "Nothing." His voice is still raspy and raw. "Just... tired." He breathes out.

Kara, still very much concerned, decides that's enough talking for now. She loops one of his arms over her shoulder and circles her arms around his waist, before lifting off in flight. Clark would have protested at their positioning if he could talk or move or care. But right now all he wants to do is sleep.

Entering the house through the back door, Kara carries her large cousin into the living room, placing him gently on the couch. Immediately Clark relaxes into the cushions, eyes closed and slipping into unconsciousness, then Kara's words, "I'm calling Chloe... " has his eyes popping open wide in alarm.

"No!" He exclaims. The closest to a shout he can muster. "No." He affirms. Refusing to relax until she agrees.

Kara watches him, brows furrowed skeptically. Noting the sincere plea in his blue-green eyes, she nods in silent confirmation. "Rest" She says brushing his sweat soaked locks from his forehead. "I'll make lunch. You rest baby-cousin."

Clark shuts his eyes upon her gentle assurance, and finally gives in to the oblivion his mind and body so desperately desire.


	13. CONFUSION Dream 2

He can't move, Clark feels stuck, his body is weighted. He can't see, all around him is black, suffocating darkness. He can't feel anything but the stillness. No air or breeze... just a chilling absence of substance. Clark struggles, attempting to lift his arm to reach out to the unknown. Determining that he isn't strapped down, or even confined, he continues reaching. His hands landing on nothing. Where is he? Feeling a panic begin to rise within him, Clark slowly turns his head, scanning the suppressing darkness around him. Absolutely nothing. Usually, he could navigate his way through darkness as if the sun was high in the sky, but now, not being able to see unnerves him. He wants to scream, alarm growing with the loss of his preternatural senses.

An unintelligible whisper comes from no where, but everywhere. The soft incoherent sound surrounds him, caressing the darkness around him, making the unknown blackness not quite so lonely. Clark stills, "Who's there?" he asks. His voice lost in the darkness. Clark craves to hear it again, the hushed sound is so familiar. But he can't quite make it out... it's placid resonance was right at the edges of his memory. He _needs _to hear it again, he yearns for it's familiarity. "Hello. Who's there?" He questions with more persistence. He turns his head again searchingly. 'God, the least they could do is give me a light!' Clark grouses silently.

A spark of soft light emerges to his right. Dim and spongy at first, yet growing and spreading outward from nonexistence assailing the dark. Clark scrutinizes the light as it continues to swell, keeping the blackness at bay. Finally, he can see, glancing around him. As the light intensifies, he realizes it's a room, he's standing in a small empty room. Clark surveys his surroundings, no windows, no doors, no way out. But where is the light coming from? He muses. The soft voice sounds out to him again, from nowhere... everywhere. It triggers a feeling deep within him, he wants it, needs it. He looks around, he's still alone.

To his left there's a mural of pastel colors of turquoise blues, coral, rose pinks and lilac set apart by splashes of black and dark blues. Clark smiles slowly at the soft beautiful mosaic of colors. There's something vaguely familiar about it, something about this mural he knows. Then before his eyes the individual colors begin to slowly bleed and seep into the darkness, reconstructing the essence of the painting. His smile falters, this display disturbs him, for an indefinable reason he's bothered by the changing effects.

The light around him settles and at once Clark is jolted out of his reverie. No longer is it growing in it's intensity, but now is a secure force. He turns his head back to determine it's origins and find's himself shocked motionless.

To his right lay another mural of colors, but unlike the first, the range and resonance is striking. Awe-struck, he visually devours the vibrant colors of deep reds, and yellows, oranges, and greens, blues, and purples, the colors so luminous and ardent they almost seem alive. And just like the other, there are dots and dashes of darkness, yet the colors remain unfazed or untainted giving off it's very own brilliance. Clark is captivated, his smile bright and easy. He knows these colors, they inspire him, make him feel alive and not so very much alone.

Clark is downcast immediately at this thought, he _is _alone... with no idea where he is. The soft unintelligible words whisper to him again from nowhere yet everywhere. He looks up in recognition. He knows that voice, looking intently to his right again. Searching the colors frantically for the answer, it's right there, he can almost see it, he can almost touch it, he can almost... Chloe!

"Chloe." he says softly.

At once there's a door swung open and directly in front of him stands his blonde rescuer.

"Clark..." She calls out. "I've been looking all over for you!" She sounds relieved as she walks towards him.

Her energy washes over him, Clark closes his eyes soaking up her presence, basking in her glow. Limbs heavy, he still struggles to move, yet he relaxes. As long as Chloe is near him, he's alright. She is the only thing that matters. Chloe will make everything better. "I've missed you." he breathes out, opening his blue-green eyes to gaze upon her.

She looks confused, tilting her head in contemplation of his words, "You've missed me?" Chloe grins, "I've been right here Clark. I've always been here." She reassures.

Turning toward the lit painting, she walks slowly to the wall of electric colors. Clark tries to reach out to her. He doesn't want her to go, he tenses at the lose of her nearness. Chloe stands before the wall, studying and examining it. Turning her head in Clark's direction, oblivious to her friends turmoil she smiles brightly, "I'm glad I could be here for you."

Despite his discomfort, Clark returns her bright smile with one of his own. 'Me too!' he thinks. 'You always are. I don't know what I would do without you.'

Chloe lifts her hand, laying it flat on the wall and in one sure sweeping motion wipes-out the colors. He starts wide eyed by her action. 'No! I need that... I need it's light! What is she doing?' To his utter astonishment the light remains, it's not diminished or even slightly altered. He sighs, shutting his eyes in relief. But notices, as Chloe walks back toward him, that eerily the light follows her as if she is the light itself. 'She's my sun.' Clark muses, satisfied and content.

"Thank you." He says. He's arrested by her smile as she comes to stand in front of him once again. Captured by her scent and enslaved in her glowing presence. He can't look away from her... he doesn't want to. He just wants to stay here and...

A shadow passes on his left claiming his attention. The mural of pastels continues it's slow transition into the darkness. The dark shades and blacks over-powering the subtle coloring, making it something else entirely. The new obscurity and murkiness alarms Clark greatly.

Chloe follows his eyes to the tainted mural, leaving Clark standing in the center of the room, she walks toward the painted wall. Scrutinizing the difference and follows carefully the flow of bleeding colors.

"We have to do something Chloe. We have to stop it." He implores.

Turning her head back to him, her expression sorrowful, "Sometimes Clark, there's nothing we can do." She answers morosely.

Clark shakes his head slowly in disagreement, "We have to help. _I _have to help. I know I can stop it."

The petite girl smiles sadly, "Sometimes people don't want help. Sometimes people don't want to stop. Sometimes you just have to let go."

"NO! I can help. I can change it. I can change her!" He says with defiant determination.

Chloe frowns turning back to the mutating wall. She raises her hand, laying it flat on the bleeding pastels.

Clark stiffens in awareness, What is she doing! "No" He yells out to her. "Stop Chloe." He needs her to stop. The thought of the darkness changing her, tainting his Chloe sends him into a stifling panic. "Please!" Clark pleads. "Please don't!"

"You have to see." She replies flatly, eyes still trained on the colors. "You don't see. But you need to."

She swipes her hand lightly on the wall, wiping away part of the color.

He looks to the now clean spot. There's nothing, no wall, no color, no substance... just space? Clark furrows his brows in confusion.

The paint remains on Chloe's hand as she walks back to him. She cups the side of his face with her painted hand, her touch is light and loving. It sears him, brands him. "There will come a time..." She begins softly, looking into his eyes intently, "...when you have to make a choice. And either option _will _consumeyou. But it's still your choice." She looks down. "And until that time..." She trails off returning her loving gaze back to meet his eyes.

Lightly, softly her hand drags away from his face, though the paint remains on his cheek. She turns away from him, walking toward the door. Clark panics, still frozen in place. Where is she going? Chloe can't leave him, he needs her nearness. He doesn't want to be left alone. He needs her! The light follows her as she exits the room, receding the further she walks away.

"Chloe?" Clark chokes out, near tears. The paint begins to spread on his face. From his cheek to his chin, across his nose until finally it covers his eyes blinding him. He wants to scream, but he can't speak, can't open his mouth.

Clark opens his eyes abruptly, hands remove from his eyes blocking his vision, he's outside the Talon. The sun is setting low in the distance. He sees her, the color of dusk alighting her hair as if it were on fire.

"Chloe?" He calls to her as she walks away. "Chloe?" Clark tries again.

A tugging on his left arm pulls his attention away from his retreating friend, looking down Clark sees Lana smiling serenely up at him. He looks back to the street, watching for his friend. 'She can't leave me! Please don't leave Chloe.'

"Clark?" Lana's calls to him softly.

"Why is she leaving?" He asks sorrowfully. Doesn't she know that I need her?

"Clark?" The tiny brunette calls again. Clark shuts his eyes at the despair rising in him. 'Doesn't she know I can't do this with out her?'

"Clark?" Lana's voice begins to fade. 'What am I supposed do without Chloe?'

Then there's only a whisper. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark.


	14. CONFUSION Day 2:4

"Clark?" Lana's voice and light touch on his arm pulls him out of the depths of sleep.

His eye lids flutter open, she's over him smiling softly, "I've been trying to wake you."

The room is so dim, he looks over her shoulder as he slowly rises to a sitting position, the sun has already set. Clark runs his hand over his face and through his hair in weary confusion, how long has he been asleep? "What time is it?" Clark's voice is scratchy, still raw from over use and groggy from sleep. He tries to clear his throat.

Lana moves from him toward the kitchen, "It's pretty late Clark? How long have you been asleep?"

Standing, Clark sluggishly follows her into the kitchen heading directly for the refrigerator, he grabs the orange juice and drinks directly from the bottle. He feels so drained, thirsty... empty. Clark guzzles the cooling beverage greedily.

She gazes at him questioningly, watching him for a reaction. "Why didn't you call me? I told Kara to tell you to call me?"

He lowers the bottle, "Where is Kara?" he asks slowly. He momentarily listens for her but she's not on the farm. Then carefully he lowers himself down on a stool by the kitchen island.

Lana rolls her eyes, his lack of answers grating. "Clark?" She tries to pull his focus back to her, yet receiving no response, she begrudgingly replies, "She had a late shift at the Talon." She crosses her arms in front her. "Are you going to tell me what this is about?"

His brows furrow in confusion, "Huh?"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, vexation setting in, she sighs, "How long were you asleep Clark?"

"I'm not sure." He takes a gulp from the bottle, unaware of his girlfriends frustration. His mind still distracted by the bizarre dream.

Lana smiles wryly, "What's going on? This morning Kara heard you... " She trails off looking away searching her memory, "...I think. Anyway I told her to tell you to call me and you didn't... So what is it this time?" She asks flippantly.

His eyes drift to the counter top, silent for a moment in contemplation, wondering if he should tell her, _what _can tell her. Would she even understand? "I wasn't feeling well." He decides upon.

She pauses in astonishment, eyes narrowed in accusation, "You don't get sick Clark."

Frowning he grumbles forlornly, "Yeah, well there's been exceptions."

Lana walks slowly toward him, quickly switching from incredulity to concern, "Was it meteor rock?"

"Um... no." He looks away from her, searching for an appropriate answer. Something that would mollify her. "I had a really bad morning... "

Clark's eyes shut to conceal his emotion while his photographic memory replays more of this morning's incident than he prefers to remember, _'Chloe rejected me and pushed me aside for Jimmy. She wants me to choose and I... ' _

Interrupting his somber thoughts, Lana urges him to continue, "Clark... "

He opens his eyes, " ...um... so something happened. I'm not sure what." Yet his thoughts persist in betraying him, _'I completely lost it. And kind of leveled a part of the back-forty' _Clark grimaces, knowing that he can't tell her _that _part, Lana's already a little skittish about the whole alien thing.

So he continues out loud with, " ...and it completely drained me. Kara found me and brought me home." He brings the bottle back to his mouth, killing off the rest of the juice. He doesn't want to see whether she accepted his answer or not. Truthfully, he's still too tired to care much.

"Clark." Lana purrs seductively. She prowls toward him, behind him, she raises her hands to his shoulders. He stiffens slightly at her touch. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah... I know." He sighs. He does want to be totally forthcoming with her, but he's still not sure about his reaction this morning, how she would receive it. He doesn't know if it would scare her... hell it scared _him_.

"I don't want to fight anymore... " She says leaning in and kissing the side of his neck. Lana can tell he's holding something back, and has every intention of ferreting the information out of him. But not now, not while Clark is still on guard. She smiles prettily, "I've made dinner for us. If you slept the day away, you're probably famished." Sliding her hands over his shoulders, she gives him an affectionate squeeze before leaving him to prepare their plates.

"I'm not really hungry." His words bring her to a stop, while he pushes himself up from his seat. "I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed." He mumbles.

Lana turns toward him, her anger barely contained, "Clark, you just woke up..." She says sharply, putting her hands on her hips. "You know we _are _to have to deal with our problems and work them out right! You can't keep running from them."

Walking slowly toward the stairs, Clark replies non-indulgent, "Yeah, I know Lana... that's not what I'm doing."

Ascending the stairs, Clark can't help but feel horrible. _Again _he finds himself blowing Lana off. He really didn't mean to... but he's just so wiped out. And to be honest, he can't get rid of the images from that last dream, it's really disturbing him... more than the one this morning. He knows that sometimes dreams don't mean anything, most times they are just a reflection of a person's experiences. But still he can't shake the feeling of despair it left him with. Even now with Lana downstairs, the feelings of loneliness and emptiness assault him.

Entering the bathroom he strips off his sweat stained clothes and starts the shower. His movements slow and lethargic. As the water splashes on his skin, washing away the effects of the day, Clark's mind recounts this morning's events. He really lost control of himself. It was scary and terrifying, but what terrified him even more, was the mere thought that Chloe didn't want him in her life anymore. He's scared shit-less that he could actually lose her. The one person who has always been there for him, the one person he relies on, he needs her. He feels so powerless, out of control. When did his life become this big mess?

Not even 3 days ago everything was fine. He and Lana were living his dream, and actually made love for the first time since the summer he lost his powers. And Chloe was still his best friend. Chloe still wanted him around, wanted to be around him. Where did it all go wrong? Now he and Lana could barely have a conversation and Chloe was shutting him out of her life. It's times like this that he really misses his mother. He misses the comfort and solace she gave him. And right now Clark is chagrined to admit that, that makes him miss Chloe even more.

Then his inexplicable reaction today... What was that really about? What did it all mean? Why did he take Chloe's rejection so hard? Is it because she's never rejected him like that before? Or is it because of the ultimatum she gave him? That was definitely a first. Clark frowns in confusion, he doesn't understand. Why does he have to choose? Why can't he be with Lana and keep Chloe as a friend? It makes no sense. He's dated Lana before and nothing changed with Chloe.

Sure, Lana got a bit crazy off of the rush of his powers, but they're gone now. She's back to normal. Of course, Chloe must know that won't happen again. As for the other stuff, Lana needs her friends now more than ever. Lana needs Chloe as much as she needs him. And what did she mean by Lana's not her friend? How can she not be Chloe's friend? They lived together in high school... and college. They used to think of each other like sisters. Chloe was her maid-of-honor for heavens sake. 'I don't get it.' Clark scowls. Where is all of this coming from?

He doesn't want to think that Chloe's jealous. They've been over that years ago, right? Yeah, they worked that out in high school. He clears his throat. And Chloe doesn't have those type of feelings for him anymore anyway. Does she? No. He thinks glumly. She doesn't. Swallowing in an attempt to ease the discomfort, he continues his rumination. So if that's the case, why can't they hang out while he's with Lana? Why does Chloe want distance from him? Why can't they still be the same?

Does she really prefer Jimmy to him? "She can't!" Clark growls, his words bounce off of the tiled walls. _'I've been her friend since 8thgrade. Jimmy hasn't. Jimmy doesn't know Chloe like I do. He doesn't even care for Chloe like I do.'_ Why would she choose Jimmy over him? He can't really be losing her, can he? What would he do without his Chloe?

Clark braces his hands against the tile walls of the shower, as something strong and undeniable begins to bubble up from his stomach. He tenses up at the feeling, he really doesn't want to explode again... not in the house. But whatever it is, is churning and roiling in him at an unstoppable rate until finally, with labored breath, he has no choice but to surrender to it. Releasing an anguished broken sob from his chest so powerful his body heaves uncontrollably, Clark lets the tears fall with abandon. The feelings of dejection, loneliness and impotence over-powering him, consuming him. While the rivulets of water wash away the proof of his utter wretchedness.

--

In the heart of Metropolis, in another shower, Chloe absently rinses the shampoo out of her hair. Wishing her feelings were as easily washed away as the grime of the day. But unfortunately, her life and super powered intergalactic travelers are never that simple. She isn't naive, she had no doubt that this would be difficult. If it wasn't she would of stopped loving Clark sophomore year of high school. But no, it is never easy. So she just has to do what she must... for the both of them.

People have no idea, how torturous it can be, to be friends... best friends with someone that you're in love with, knowing that they will never reciprocate. That they will never feel that way about you. Chloe laughs mirthlessly. Oh, how she wishes it were easy.

The funny thing is she stopped wishing that Clark saw her as more than _just _Chloe, his friend awhile ago. That utter hope and belief that if she gave enough, if she was there for him enough, if she was loyal enough he would just fall... yeah, that dream committed suicide ages ago. She's adult enough now to know that it just doesn't happen like that.

Only now that deluded hope is replaced with the need to - not love him like this anymore. That is her wish. That is what she prays for. The first thought in the morning and the last at night. Chloe desperately doesn't want to be 'in love' with Clark Kent anymore. For her sake... and sorrowfully, because she loves him... for Clark's sake. She can't be the true friend he needs if she keeps holding on to this fools hope. She doesn't want it. She doesn't need it.

So space, is what she requires now. She's not foolish, Chloe's aware that there will be many phantom pains in the beginning. They've been friends for a long time, truthfully for their whole teenage lives, they have been by each other's side, with little hiccups along the way... not her finest moments. Regardless, it will be painful at first, like cutting off a useful limb. But they will both be the better for it. So when they're joined again, Clark will be stronger, more self-sufficient and she will be less love lorn.

She remembers how she cried today, as she shuts off the shower, reaching for her towel. She recalls how painful it was to look Clark in the face and deny him. She hated it. At that moment she hated herself... and him. Part of her wanted to hurt him as much as she was hurting. And then she hated herself even more. God, it was never easy. She can't forget the look in his eyes, the pleading, the sorrow... the anger. But Chloe is sure that it was only momentary. He went home to Lana, and she helped lick his wounds. She had no doubt that he would get over it... she chuckled bitterly, he probably was over it already, all forgotten in the arms of the 'love of his life'.

Even if Clark didn't remember, she did. She felt it. She cried for it. But no more, she promised herself then, she wouldn't cry for him anymore. And that pain gave way to numbness. A numbness that even now keeps a hold of her. And how she's thankful for the lack of feeling. Because she doesn't want it. She doesn't need it. Filled to the brim with one-sided friendships and one-sided feelings. Right now, Chloe welcomes the numbing of her emotions. When the world is ending, who will she run to... not a damn person!

There were a couple consolations in the day, she reflects dryly. Her relationship with Jimmy is no longer one of scorn and resentment. They even have the opportunity to work together. They may even make good partners. She smiles slightly at the thought. Jimmy has always been a good person, if only she were 'in love' with _him_. Nevertheless, Chloe's sure he will make a great friend.

Then her demon editor Grant, actually gave her the go ahead on the pharmaceutical story. That's definitely a plus. Though she would of went through with it even if he hadn't capitulated, so maybe that couldn't be counted as a consolation.

Brushing the thought aside, either way things are looking up... and they can only get better from here. After dressing, Chloe climbs into the cold bed in the guest room of Oliver's pent-house. Someday she'll probably claim the room as her own, for all the nights she spends here. No more traveling hell from Smallville to Metropolis, that's another pro... but as she shuts her eyes and shuts down her mind to begin again tomorrow, she prays that her little consolations will be enough, and that tomorrow she won't feel this emptiness or this creeping loneliness that desires to be acknowledged. With the promise of a new day, she hopes with everything she has that she can leave her love for Clark in yesterday.


	15. CONFUSION Day 3

The sound of flesh forcefully meeting flesh sounds out in the otherwise quiet room. Clark jerks awake in surprise, eyes popping open, his hand immediately going to his cheek, where the harsh sting from a Kryptonian "love tap" that rivals a human slap with all the subtlety of a mack truck, remains. Clark sees his cousin looming over him.

"What the hell Kara!" He shouts, rubbing the pain from his cheek.

"You wouldn't rouse when I called you or shook you, so I figured... " She shrugged nonchalantly as she trailed off.

Narrowing his eyes in irritation, "Did you ever think of just leaving me alone?"

Her eyes are plaintive, her voice full of remorse and concern, "I was worried... You've been asleep all morning. And after yesterday... "

"What time is it?" Clark's tone is harsh and abrasive, cutting off Kara's words. He doesn't want to hear about yesterday. He doesn't want to talk about it, or remember Chloe, her rejection, his actions or his feelings. He knows it's an impossible feat, but he doesn't want to remember or think or rehash. Damn it! He just wants to sleep.

Kara hands him the glass of milk she brought with her, ignoring his foul disposition. "Almost noon." Watching him carefully, she scrutinizes his slow, sluggish movements as he pushes himself up into a sitting position.

A frown settles on the hard lines of his face before he takes a drink of the offered beverage. The thought that he should possibly be more concerned about the time, or bothered by the late hour crosses his mind briefly. But he mentally shrugs it off, really he couldn't work-up the strength for concern. And is only bothered by the feel of this strange emptiness that still clings to him, this inexplicable absence that, frankly just annoys the hell out of him.

After quaffing down the much needed milk and handing the empty glass back, silence reigns for a moment, Clark becomes increasingly annoyed with Kara's blatant inspection of him. "What!" he growls out.

"Nothing." His cousin answers, unfazed by his temperament. "You still look really weak. Maybe you should lie down under the yellow sun."

Dismissing her suggestion, he grumbles "I'm fine." Then glancing at the open bedroom door, Clark perks up his hearing. The house is still. "Where's Lana?"

Kara rolls her eyes, "Your pet left for Metropolis hours ago."

Clark furrows his brows, bemused by her description of his girlfriend, "Why do you call her that?"

The blonde shrugs, "Just an observation."

"An observation?" Clark raises an eyebrow inquisitively. "Care to explain?"

"It's really not my place."

"Not your place?" He parrots, shaking his head slightly amused by his cousins primness.

He is almost hesitant to ask. By now, he is able to discern his cousin's shift in demeanor - from assimilating human to official Kryptonian - by the change in her voice and the formality in her speech. He wonders whether all of his people were this stiff, and judging from his experiences with the few he's met from Krypton not to mention the AI in the Fortress, he has no doubt they were. "Why isn't it… your place?"

"It is not proper for me to influence your decision in choosing a life-mate."

Clark blinks, "Excuse me?" Okay, he wasn't expecting that.

She repeats, "It is not proper..."

Rolling his eyes impatiently, he really doesn't have the tolerance today, Clark cuts her off. "I heard what you said… I'm curious why you would say Lana is my life-mate. And what the hell is a life-mate?"

His cousin, lets out a slow breath in relief, relaxing her posture, "Thank Rao Kal, I really thought you'd chosen her." She smiles continuing her explanation enthusiastically. "A life-mate on Krypton, is the equivalent of a soul-mate here on earth. Except it means more on Krypton. Back home, you're paired with your life-mate for… well life. It is a spiritual bond as well as physical. Kind of like marriage here, but unbreakable."

Processing her explanation, and filing it away for another day, Clark probes further, "So if you thought I had chosen Lana as my…" he snorts, "…life-mate. Why do you call her my pet?"

"Well obviously… " Kara waves a dismissive hand, " …that is what she is. She's clearly _not _your life-mate. Just someone to amuse you until you've bonded with your chosen."

Clark stares wide-eyed at his oblivious cousin, he should be indignant at her dismissal of Lana, because for all intents and purposes Lana is his chosen… right? But either way, he finds himself more curious of her answer than offended. "Why do you think Lana's not my life-mate?" He honestly wants to know, he can't help it. Kara's mind and sharp views on the matters of Earth in contrast to Krypton intrigue him.

"Well… your soul does not yearn for her." She offers, says so matter of fact as if this answer is the most obvious thing in the world.

"My soul does not yearn for her?" Clark's back to parroting in disbelief. "And how do you know that?"

Kara stills at his question, watching him intently, searching, trying to discern if he truly doesn't see. She begins slowly, "When you thought her dead, you were sad, you grieved for the loss of your friend. But you were not destroyed. You moved on… quite effectively I must say."

Clark narrows his eyes at her open observation. He can't help but feel her judgment, and this sparks an irrational anger in him. "You have no idea what I went through when I thought Lana died!" He snaps. "I love her!"

Kara is unmoved at his rising temper, and keeps her composure non-confrontational, "Maybe." She nods. "But on Krypton… "

"We're not on Krypton!" Clark growls.

His cousin stiffens at his words but will not be deterred by his show of aggression, "On Krypton… " She begins again more forcefully. " …when one experiences the loss of their life-mate, it nearly destroys them. They do eventually go on… but are merely a ghost of their former selves. The bond created between the partners is so great, their essence so intertwined, that they have no choice but to crumble under the weight of grief, because they literally lose a part of themselves. _This_ is why I do not believe Lana… is that one!"

He shakes his head in show of his refusal to accept her words, "We are not on Krypton Kara… " He says slowly, levelly. " We don't do things that way, here on earth."

Kara scoffs, "But you are Kryptonian."

"But I was raised human." He counters.

"It does not change the fact that you _are _Kryptonian Kal-El. The customs may be different, but you can not deny your physiology or your biology. The choice of your bonded life-mate is not voluntary. You may choose_ consciously_ who you want to spend your life with… " She pauses giving Clark the opportunity to absorb her words, and to assure she has his full attention, then concludes with, " … and if your choice is Lana, then Rao help you! Because you will spend the rest of your very long life fighting against your very own nature. And that alone will destroy you."

The words spoken to him in his dream, briefly float to the top his mind. _'There will come a time, when you have to make a choice. And either option will consume you' _ He blinks, brushing the dream aside, filing it away for another time as well.

Clark stares at his cousin for a long moment, awed by her maturity. Right now, she appears much older than her youthful looks. "I've loved Lana since I was a child." He says slowly. Not sure whether he says this for her benefit or his own. Yet hoping his answer will help her to understand.

Kara waves her hand again, sweeping away the insignificant importance of his words, answering with a roll of her eyes, she scoffs, "And what child's play was never considered foolishness."

He slumps down on his bed as if chastised, "Whatever Kara!" He mumbles. He's not listening to this anymore. Kara just came out of stasis, she doesn't know him… or Lana. He loves Lana and if that's who he loves... Damn it! That's who he loves.

"Whatever indeed!" She snickers.

Clark glares at her, wishing it were appropriate to set his cousin ablaze. "Nobody asked your opinion anyway!" He pouts.

She laughs out right, "Actually _you _did."

"Just get out Kara!" Clark rolls away from her sullenly, pulling the sheets up higher.

Her joviality ceases abruptly and her concern for her cousin returns, "Kal… "

"Clark." He corrects.

She rolls her eyes, "Kal… " she reaffirms, " … maybe you should go outside and sit in the sun it will help you recover your energy."

"Maybe later." Clark drawls.

Kara flips the covers off of him, "Later will be too late. The sun would have already set. Get up Kal!" She commands.

He turns to glare at her, "Kara!"

Putting her hands on her hips defiantly she taunts trying another tactic, "Don't you have a farm to run? You have to get up and do... farmer things."

"Fine." He concedes tersely. Struggling to push himself up yet again.

As Kara moves to exit his room, satisfied of her accomplishment, she absently says over her shoulder, "Oh and your pet wanted you to call her yesterday." He can hear the mocking grin in her voice.

Clark groans in reply, "Yeah, I already got the message." He whispers grudgingly, knowing Kara will hear him.

--

Clark tries fervently to carry on his day as usual, normal, yet he finds that he can't shake off his feelings of annoyance, or his inexplicable irritation with… well everything. And what's more his inability to move things along and work in super-speed aggravates him even further. He's still drained, still tired and… still empty.

Pissed off at himself, when he receives a call from Lana, he can't stop his clipped words or snapped responses. Ticked beyond belief when he realizes that he hadn't picked up the feed for the animals or picked up the hardware that needed replacing. Raging when he breaks another tool or spooks the animals with his outbursts. There is no getting around it, Clark is angry and what incenses him more is that he can't pin point why he is so.

It's the reminder call from Will Foster, though to his admitted shame is abrasively short, that has Clark at the Talon in the afternoon. Clark is driving through Main Street en route to Mr. Foster's farm to pick up his order of eggs, when he begins to pass the Talon. Checking the time on the clock and he instinctively stops for Chloe's afternoon pick-me-up.

Standing at the counter ready to give his order to Kara, his mind drifts onto his blonde reporter. Wondering what she is doing at that very moment, what she's wearing, if she happened to curl her hair today or left it straight in that cute little bob she's been sporting lately. His fingers twitch slightly in response to his mental musings. That bob, he sighs to himself, that he has no doubt tickles her bare shoulders. Clark closes his eyes, envisioning her bright smile, her intoxicating smell, a mixture of whatever delicious fruit she decided upon that day, coffee beans and something that can only be described as _Chloe_. His lips quirked up slightly in an unwitting smile. He sees himself hugging her tightly, feeling the warmth of her slighter frame against his body, he imagines tucking an errant strand of her flaxen hair behind her ear, he can almost hear her snappy pop-culture come backs and snarky responses, he…

Opens his eyes, interrupted by Kara placing a Chloe-special, a triple shot espresso caramel macchiato, on the counter. He raises a confused brow at his cousin, he didn't recall placing the order yet.

Kara grins at his bemused expression, rolling her eyes at his cluelessness, she responds, "You only come here everyday for the same thing Kal."

Clark merely nods in response, not needing anymore explanation than that. Grabbing the container, he stares silently for a moment at the cup in his hands. He doesn't know what to do. He feels so stuck, so motionless. Maybe if he went to see her? Maybe if they could sit down and have a civil conversation? Maybe then she could here his side, see his point and there would be no need for this separation. Maybe then he would be able to convince Chloe that him being with Lana doesn't have to change their friendship. And she would have no need to replace him with Jimmy. Clark frowns silently, his intense stare at the coffee cup unchanged. Maybe if he could just see her and talk to her… He shrugs mentally. He doesn't know… maybe then he wouldn't feel this emptiness.

With that thought, Clark brings the coffee container to his lips and guzzles down Chloe's vice. Kara stares wide eyed in astonishment as Clark drains the cup without pausing for breath.

Noticing Kara's incredulity, as he lowers the now empty container, Clark scowls, "What?" He's completely unaware of his cousins confusion, and slightly annoyed at her trying to read him again.

"That was for Chloe." She points out.

He can't explain why he did it. What is strange is that it hadn't even been a conscious action. He only knows he needed it, craved it for some inexplicable reason. Coffee doesn't even have an affect on him, but at that moment, the desire for it was unquestionable.

So in response to Kara he places the empty container on the counter in show of defiance, Clark throws some money beside it and walks off in silence. Promising himself tomorrow. Tomorrow, he'll see Chloe and they'll fix this mess… together. And resigning himself to this promise and pinning his hope on tomorrow's reconciliation with his friend, Clark drives back to the farm. Forgetting about Will Foster, feed for the animals and broken tools, he heads straight to his room and his bed intent on sleep, so tomorrow will come.

--

Chloe's mood isn't dissimilar to Clark's. She still retains the numbness from yesterday, but today it is anything but welcomed. And unfortunately it leaves her with this feeling of emptiness. A feeling she can't shake. She can't seem to find pleasure in anything, which only proved to aggravate her further.

Chloe is so tense that even the air in the bull-pen is charged with her negative energy, and if the looks she receives and the wide-girth she is given is any indication, Chloe is sure her co-workers feel it too. When Lois happens to comment on her lack-luster mood, Chloe responds with a scowl and less than gracious expletives. Even poor Jimmy appears to be giving her 50-feet. Everyone senses it... all except the new girl, Katherine "I'm too sexy for my column" Grant. It's the lunch hour when Katherine makes her appearance, sashaying over to Chloe's desk, clearly ignoring the 'Keep Out' signs Chloe's projecting, the tripe red-headed woman inquires on the whereabouts of "Chloe's delectable man shadow". Chloe catches herself before she growls in response. That's the clincher, she misses him. She misses Clark terribly. She wants to see him, be near him... and hates that she can't. She hates that this is her decision. Hates that she has to be the adult. Chloe hates that it's never easy or simple, that she can never just simply get what she wants. And even more, she hates that today she can't hide it behind her bright smile and lively disposition.

_This_ upsets her even more. She blames it on Clark and her lack of coffee. It's his fault that she loves him so damn much. If he wasn't so unbelievably gorgeous, dorky and naive, so brave... and so essentially good, she wouldn't be in this mess. It's his fault she has to make the choice, because left up to him Chloe is sure Clark would never choose her. Damn! Right now, it's becoming apparent that Clark has trouble choosing simply what's _right_. And it's his fault that because of that choice, she's been forced into this miserable position and missing him like crazy... OH and monumentally, it is totally Clark's fault that she hasn't had a lick of java today. That's why she's pissed off. It always comes back to Clark, doesn't it? Chloe swears under her breath. All his fault. She craves him and she craves coffee. But for the time being, while she swears off Clark, Chloe has also sworn off her other drug of choice. For reasons she doesn't understand and in a misguided show of defiance, Chloe refuses to drink any of nature's caffeinated goodness.

It started this morning before she left the pent house, on her way to the Daily Planet, Chloe stopped in the kitchen. Her intention was to retrieve a glass of water, but as she entered, the area was filled with the rich aroma of café', and just the smell of it, invoked in her an unreasoning, slightly irrational anger. Without intent Chloe found herself dumping the entire pot of dark tempting liquid down the drain and wasn't satisfied until she got rid of Mr. Coffee completely. Going as far as taking the unfortunate coffee machine to the dumpster behind the building. Yeah, Chloe is definitely in a stellar mood.

Even now, sitting at her desk, the usually relaxing smell of the sacred coffee bean mixing with the intoxicating aroma of newspaper ink that so dominantly wafts the basement, makes her want to grab her head and scream. It's maddening.

Unable to focus due to a massive caffeine withdrawal headache and suffering from a bout of Clark-dependency, all Chloe wants to do is leave. She has to get out... and possibly sleep it all away. But unlike Clark, she holds no faith in tomorrow... just really wanting the day to end, so that another day will come and then another, then another until finally that day when it will all be easier arrives. That day when she doesn't think about him constantly. That day when she won't miss him so deeply. That day when they can be like they were before, but lacking the futile romantic feelings. And she highly doubts that day is tomorrow. For Chloe, the only thing tomorrow will bring is the end of today.


	16. CONFUSION Day 4:1

Time seems to have flown by, between the evening hours Clark first slipped into unconsciousness until he is surging awake. His body is humming, Clark feels revitalized with renewed determination coursing through his veins… or maybe it's the first light of the morning rays coating his skin. Healing the weariness that shrouded him yesterday. Either way, he doesn't want to analyze it, whatever the reason, gone are the foreign feelings of despair and helplessness that plagued him, leaving behind only the light of hope.

Hope… for what may come. Hope for what the day may bring. Clark practically jumps out of bed in anticipation. There's so much that needs to be done. He has the morning chores, which he's running a little behind in. But no matter, he reasons that he can just slip into his usual preternatural speed to accomplish the tasks, given the surge of energy he's feeling, Clark has no doubt he is at least mostly back to par.

Then he needs to shower and get to the Talon for Chloe's breakfast, and make it to the Clock Tower before she heads off to the Planet. The conversation awaiting them, can only due with absolute privacy and no interruptions. Clark is almost bouncing with excitement. He is ready. He's given her the time she's asked for… really how much time did she need? A day and a half, two days is quite enough. What she really needs is him, just like he needs her. All he has to do is make Chloe realize that.

Clark isn't fooling himself. He's aware that convincing Chloe won't be an easy task. She's taught mules lessons in stubbornness. Clark grins… but he has a stubbornness and determination that matches if not rivals his best friend's. Not to mention he is a thousand times stronger and much bigger than she is. Clark isn't the least abashed to admit that he is not above forcing her to talk to him if he has to. What good is all this power if you can't use it when the need arises anyway.

Gathering the necessary items around his room. Clark shakes his head, only partially entertaining the thought, he doubts he will really have to overpower Chloe to keep her still. He stops abruptly, pondering the idea, a slow smile creeping across his face… the idea did have some appeal though, it leaves his blood singing. He can't wait. All he has to do is see her and talk to her. She'll see reason.

"Clark?" A soft groggy voice pulls him out of his reverie. He turns, seeing Lana stir on the bed.

Damn! He'd completely forgotten that Lana had been asleep… hell Clark is slightly ashamed to admit that he forgot she was even in the room. He can't remember her coming in last night. Usually he's more aware of her presence, adding in his super-senses, the idea that she'd surprised him was… surprising.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He can't have her delaying him. Every moment counts today, Clark has to be on time. "Go back to sleep." He says gently.

Holding his breath until she rolls away from him, burrowing further under the warmth of the covers, Clark sighs, breathing easy. Thankful that she hadn't stopped him to ask questions. Hurrying, Clark speeds into the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

Beating down the relentless nagging doubts concerning his peace treaty endeavor, Clark refuses to acknowledge them as he speedily sweeps across the farm completing his morning duties. Yet unbeknownst to him, Kara watches Clark zipping around the grounds through the walls of her bedroom. Carefully following his movements and questioning the rapid change in his demeanor with a considering eye, she makes a promise to herself to be more alert and to keep a careful watch on her baby-cousin. But first she needs more information, and the only place to get it is from Kal's best friend. Adding on her to-do list, she makes a plan to visit Chloe at the Daily Planet, before her shift at the Talon.

--

He's here! Chloe shivers, the familiar buzz of Clark's nearness, triggers her 'spidey-senses'. She closes her eyes, breathing deeply to calm her nerves. She needs to focus. She cannot let his proximity sway her. But oh God, she's missed him... No! He shouldn't be here. She has to be strong, stronger... tough as kryptonite nails and impossible to move. 'I can do this. I can do this. Don't look into his eyes... his beautifully expressive turquoise eyes. Stay strong Sullivan. You are impenetrable. You are a fortress. You can do this!' She chants silently. Reigning in every emotion that persists in revealing themselves.

Chloe opens her eyes as the freight elevator opens. Her breath hitches at the sight of him, Goodness he is beautiful. As his long powerful legs stride across the floor bringing him deeper into the expansive pent-house. Chloe's lost for the moment, drinking in his impossibly powerful masculine form. From the fluid motion of his faded jean clad legs to the ripple of his muscular chest seen through the snug fit of his blue t-shirt to his sensuously plump lips, she licks her own lips in response before scanning him further. Taking in the intense penetrating gaze of his eyes, that can see through her to her very core, to the flowing dark locks of his hair fanning wildly that she wants so badly to run her hands through. All of her nerve endings seem to come alive and sizzle with awareness as Clark nears. Shutting her eyes, she breathes deeply trying in vain to stop the physical responses his presence always arouse in her. She has to stop. She cannot be weak. She will not succumb.

Assured her resolve will hold, Chloe opens her eyes slowly and moves away from him. Stepping backward, she crosses her arms in front of her protectively, hoping desperately that if she can hug her confidence and strength tightly to her, then she won't lose it. But oh... that smirk... SNAP out of it! She screams internally.

Schooling her features and clearing her throat, she needs her voice to be steady and stern, Chloe begins, "What are you doing here Clark?" She makes sure her tone is dismissive and uninviting.

Clark's eyes haven't left her since he entered the penthouse. God, he's missed her. He knew he did, but hadn't realized how much until he sees her standing there, golden hair mussed up in a fraying ponytail, wearing a pair of too baggy sweat pants riding low on her curvy hips and a skimpy tank top that reveals a generous amount of her delicately soft skin. His fingers itch to place the slipping spaghetti strap on her shoulder. A lazy smile forms on his lips as he smells her fresh scent. It's like coming home. Despite her tense posture, Clark relaxes. This is what he needs, and he will not be deterred by her curt reception. He wants so badly to pull her toward him, to feel her rest her head against his chest. Too long, it's been too long since he's hugged her, but seeing her step away from him, Clark remains cautious. He can't scare her away. He's determined to play his cards right.

Ignoring her acid soaked question intent on baiting her into a conversation, "You weren't at the Planet." Clark answers coolly.

Chloe narrows her eyes and tightens her arms around herself as his smooth voice washes over. 'You can do this.' Her mind whispers before she responds. "That still doesn't answer my question... What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

He shrugs refusing to be swayed, "I wanted to see you." He says easily. In between his hands, Clark holds out in front of him, a cup of Talon coffee, offering it to her as if it were a priceless supplication. "I brought you breakfast." His eyes are alert and aware, stalking her every move.

Raising a weary brow at his offering, she eyes it steadily, before reaching a hesitant hand out to accept it, mindful to keep her distance from him. She closes her hand around the cup.

Uncomfortable silence reigns for a long intense moment, as Chloe stares down at the cup in her hands, battling her warring emotions. Oh how she wants a cup of coffee. She misses it badly... with a longing so strong it's almost painful. But what would it mean to take it? She has to be strong... this is all for a reason. Damn it! What is he doing here? He's supposed to be giving her space.

Clark for his part, holds his breath as he watches her closely. Hoping she will just take the coffee and drink it. She needs it... needs him. Her lack of movement disconcerts him. What is she thinking? And then she moves, tightening her grip on the coffee, he sees her shut her eyes and then take a step. Clark's about to relax, when suddenly, Chloe's eyes pop open and she glides swiftly into the kitchen area. He follows her movements with a catlike vigilance. Once she's out of view, using his x-ray vision, he sees her uncapping the lid and pouring his offering down the drain. Clark clenches his jaw, aggravated and fists his hands tightly at his sides. How could she!? He growls. This is unbelievable. She thinks she can just get rid of him so easily!

Chloe throws the cup in the trash on her way out of the kitchen. Noticing his flaring nostrils and the rigidity in his body, she guesses that he saw her answer... and possibly interpreted it accurately. Sullivan- One Kent- Zero!

"Why'd you do that?" He grits out through his teeth.

Folding her arms across her chest once again, she answers levelly,"Simple answer is... I've given up coffee Clark." She can't have it... and she can't have him. 'And I've given up loving you.' She adds silently.

He can't speak. His mouth is dry... Clark swallows hard, attempting to dislodge the knot in his throat. Since when does she not drink coffee? She won't drink the coffee he purchased specifically for her? It's only been two days. 'It doesn't have to mean anything Clark' he tells himself. 'Maybe she's... maybe she's...Maybe I've lost her already.' Clark despairs. No! It's not too late. It can never be too late.

"What I do..." Chloe's voice pierces his fog of dismay and he tunes her back in, "... want to know, is why you're here?"

"We..." His voice is weak and hoarse, Clark clears his throat and begins again. "We need to talk."

"I thought we said everything that needed to be said the other day."

The big alien shakes his head, his response a soft whispered. "No." Gone is the hope that clung to him earlier. Gone, crushed and ground to nothing underneath Chloe's bare foot. This can't be happening. He wants to scream.

Chloe reciprocates with an over dramatic nod of her head, "Yes." She drawls, dragging the word through the tense silence.

Clark stares at her for a moment with narrowed eyes. Why is she so damn stubborn? He locks his jaw tightly grinding his teeth together. _'I'll convince her. I'll make her see. She needs me!'_. Damn it, he should have prepared a speech. "You wanted me to give you space... I gave you space." He says while unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides.

Her green eyes widen upon his words. He has got to be kidding. "Gee, thanks Clark!" She says sarcastically. With much effort, Chloe blatantly ignores the evidence of Clark's agitation, and snorts, "But I'm going to need a lot more... Like massive space. County wide space, maybe even state wide space Clark." She uses her arms in physical expression, separating them largely in demonstration of distance. "Yeah, a month's worth of state wide space." She nods in approval of her own words. "That's what I need Clark."

She's got to be kidding. "Damn it Chloe!" Clark's voice booms in the large space. "What the hell do you want from me?" He snaps.

She snickers condescendingly, "Well that's a loaded question... " Yet she involuntarily steps back at his forcefulness, a little unnerved by his aggression.

"Answer me!" Clark shouts. Not willing to play this game with her.

Chloe stills for a moment, watching intently, her fuming friend. He has no idea. Does he? But she's not going to play this game with him. "I want you to leave." She says calmly. Attempting to assuage her friends unhinged demeanor by adopting a placid cool one of her own.

He shakes his head vehemently, petulantly as he glares at thegirl, "Well that's not going to happen." He ripostes, almost in warning. "We're going to talk."

She straightens her stance and quirks her eyebrow in false amusement, "Oh. Are we now?" then sighs, exasperated. Why won't he just leave? "We already talked about this. I told you..."

"Well now, I am telling you." He says sternly, cutting off her inconsequential words. "We're going to talk." He says a little more gently, calm even, but Chloe can hear the underlying steel beneath. "And I'm not going anywhere until we hash this out... as a matter of fact, neither are you."

Chloe waves her arm ushering Clark to begin. The sooner the better. "Well, have at it." She's willing to let him speak. The only way to get through with this, is to go through it. Yet trying desperately to project a cool exterior, while inside the acrobats in her stomach pick up pace with the tumultuous summersaults.

Clark nods, grateful for her forced acquiescence, "I heard what you said the other day..."

The blonde cuts him off, "If you heard..."

"Shut up!" Clark shouts, his head upturned to the ceiling. Chloe stunned into silence, snaps her mouth shut. "Damn it! You're always talking. Well it's my turn to talk, so..." He lowers his gaze back to his best friend, and swallows hard at the evident shock on her face, "...so just be quiet." He finishes lowly. "Please."

Chloe swallows thickly and nods cautiously. Her heart thumping loudly in her chest. The last time Clark spoke to her like that was back in high school and it had involved Lionel Luther. She doesn't care to relive the experience.

He takes a deep breath attempting to calm his nerves. He notices the increase in her heart rate. It wouldn't do well for him, to continue on at this pace. He doesn't want to scare her, just reason with her. He begins again, as calm as he can, "I heard what you said the other day. I remember OK... I have no choice but to remember, I have a photographic memory for heavens sake... I can recite your words back if needed." He stops himself from rambling. Closing his eyes, trying to find his words. She's watching him and Clark's beginning to feel the pressure of Chloe's stare.

"I just..." He breathes again. He knows, one false move and he could lose her. He opens his eyes and meets her gaze levelly, "...I don't buy it OK. If you want to push me out of your life, there has to be a better reason. I just... I think it's stupid." He shuts his mouth abruptly. He almost wants to bite his own tongue off for that lame response. But... he shrugs mentally. It's the truth.

She snorts in disbelief, waiting a beat to assure that Clark is finished. "You think it's stupid?" She questions slowly before she begins to laugh mirthlessly. "As always Clark your eloquence astounds." She snarks.

Clark frowns at her jest. "Seriously... "

" ...Seriously, you should think of a career in journalism." She giggles half-heartedly trying to break the tension.

"This is stupid and it makes no sense." He adds, ignoring her deflection.

"It makes perfect sense to me... " Chloe whispers to herself. No longer attempting levity.

Clark crosses his arms in front of him, straightening his posture, "I know you Chloe, almost as well as I know myself, and I know that there is more to it than what you've said. So explain it to me. Tell me the truth." He demands.

"See... " She begins, rolling her eyes skyward, breathing out in exasperation, "I've already told you, if you don't want to believe me..." She places her hand over her heart, rubbing her chest, trying in vain to calm it's erratic beat. She wonders briefly if she's too young to have a heart attack. "...honestly I don't care to repeat myself."

Clark stares at her, his gaze penetrating and unrelenting, as he says steadily, "I'm not going anywhere Chloe... either you tell me the truth or..." He trails off. He didn't know what he would do, but he knew what he wanted to do. All she has to do is talk to him. Was that too much to ask? His nostrils flare as Clark breathes deeply attempting to calm the burning arising in his chest.

"Or what Clark?" Her eyes narrowing in opposition, "Or what? What are you really going to do?" She's not an idiot. She knows Clark can move buildings if he wants to, but she's also confident that he would never hurt her. But then again, judging by the intensity in his eyes as he approaches, she has a nagging doubt that her confidence maybe misplaced.

At her words Clark moves, slowly charging toward her, his chest heaving and stomach rumbling. Fists still clenching and unclenching. Eyes locked in battle, both blazing ferociously as Clark descends upon her. Yet Chloe is unmoved, putting her trust to the test. He wants to grab her, pull her to him, shake her, hug her, crush her, caress her. Why is she so stubborn! But instead, he walks past her, intentionally distancing himself from his oblivious Chloe. What's going on with him?

"Clark.." She says quietly. "...just leave. Please just go."

After a long moment of uncertainty, he decides that's for the best. He doesn't want to go. But even more he doesn't want to hurt her. Clark knows he's on a razors edge... He can feel it growing in him subjugating his reason. He moves slowly, dumbly towards the elevator, but Chloe's words bring him to an abrupt stop.

"If your purpose for coming here Clark was just to tell me you think my decision is stupid..." He turns toward her as she stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed in front her, weight shifted to one hip "... you could have saved yourself the trip, and kept your opinion to yourself." She wants him to go... but oh how she wants him to stay so badly.

He takes a measured step toward her. "No Chloe. We need to resolve this. We need our friendship back." He says through a labored breath. He still has a chance... he hopes. He just has to fight it.

Chloe closes her eyes, shaking her head, "There's nothing to resolve. I need space and time away from you." She opens her eyes and meets his directly, "I'm sorry but that's not going to change."

"Then I'm not leaving." He says with forced coolness, taking another step toward her.

She takes a step back. He's getting too close. She can't deal with him if he's too close. "I don't get it." The blonde throws her arms up in frustration. "What do you want from me?"

'I want you to love me.' His mind whispers immediately. Clark stops, motionless at the rash invading thought. He shakes his head. What the hell? No! That's not right!

Chloe continues as if talking to herself, oblivious to Clark's mental slip, "You come here and tell me my decision is... " She snorts humorlessly, " ...stupid, accuse me of lying to you!" Her voice steadily rising. "When what's really stupid, is the fact that you're here right now, when I clearly don't want you here. And the only thing that doesn't make sense is... well, really the same and that you can't respect my decision. Why is that Clark?" She pauses a beat. And rushes on not waiting for an answer. Now she _is _talking to herself "You know, throughout the years, I've seen it. And it really isn't surprising because you're an only child. But time and time again, I've overlooked it." She shakes her head ruefully at herself for her own enabling tendencies.

"What are you saying?"

"You're selfish Clark. You have always been selfish. And I always let it go, because at the most important times you can be... so _selfless_. But _you are _a selfish person!"

His eyes widen, and he steps back as if slapped. "I'm selfish?" Clark's completely thrown by her words. The fire has conquered and consumed his stomach, moving on to his chest. Burning. Her words fanning the flames.

She nods, "Why else would you be here..." Her arms move wildly in agitation as her voice begins to rise, "...demanding, and out right dismissing what I clearly want! You're not respecting my decision. You're not giving me what I asked for. Where are you Clark? You're right here, in my face inconsiderately disregarding what _I want_. Why is that? Because _you _want it. If you don't get your way no one can be happy. If _Clark _doesn't get what _Clark _wants, fuck everyone else... you'll force it!"

"I'm selfish?" He repeats slowly. He didn't even hear her rant, all he knows is heat and all he can see is Chloe. "I'm not the one who's selfish _Chloe_!" He takes a threatening step closer. "You are the one who always... _ALWAYS_..." His voice booms as he moves closer still, arms flailing absently with his words. She swallows hard, stepping back from him. "You always get what you want!" He hisses. "You wanted to just be friends, we're friends!"

"What?" she breathes out, stunned motionless, her eyes widening, completely taken aback at his admission. She couldn't have just heard him right. Did he say...

He ignores her as he continues, "...You wanted me at the Torch, I was at the Torch. You want to know my secret. You get to know my secret. You want to reject me for... Jimmy!" He nearly growls out the photographers name. "I step back. You get Jimmy! You want me to 'let you go'. I fucking let you go!" Clark shouts. "Shit, you want a mocha latte at 2 in the morning. You get it! So how dare you... of all people ever call me selfish!" He's breathing hard now, heaving in indignation. The burning persists, spreading, consuming, inciting an unbelievable flame.

"Why are you really here Clark?" She asks breathlessly, heart pounding in her chest. The rest of his litany is lost upon her. All Chloe heard was the wanting to be friends bit. What was Clark really getting at? She wonders.

"This is ridiculous and it needs to end now!" He shouts. "I came here to talk some sense into you. People need you Chloe."

"People? Or Lana?"

Clark freezes. What does Lana have to do with this? He's clearly confused. "Excuse me?"

"Well isn't _that _your argument Clark..." She uses her hands to make quotes, "Lana needs her friends." She rolls her eyes, "Well I already told you. _I _don't _need _her." She says quietly,

"Like you _need _Jimmy?" Clark growls.

Chloe's eyes widen. Where did that come from? "Wha..."

He cuts her off, "And I don't understand that. How can you be so callous, and uncaring to the people that truly love you. Who've been there for you. How could you just so easily disregard the people who have been your friends for years..." His voice wavers slightly but he pushes on. "...for someone that would so easily betray you."

"What are you talking about?" Chloe asks genuinely perplexed.

"Jimmy!" He answers, though part of him is not really sure.

"Well... _people _haven't been real friends to me for awhile now... " Chloe glares at him her voice rising, she takes an unconscious step forward, pulled toward him, her body humming, calling or answering to this inexplicable beckoning. Clark! "And as for Jimmy, he was there for me when _people _weren't! "

"But Jimmy doesn't know you. He never loved you!" He shouts stepping forward as well. Do fires speak... The fire inside of him speaks, calling or answering. Chloe!

Chloe stops and moves away turning her back on him, "Jimmy loved me! He chose me! He never used me, like some _people _I know!"

Clark shakes his head, in complete refusal of her words, "Open your eyes. That's not true. Someone that truly loves you would never betray you!" Out of nowhere Chloe's words from the past caresses his mind, _'I would die before I ever betray you!' _

"It is the truth Clark." She turns back to face him, "He is good. He cares about me. In the face of everything else, Jimmy was a good... good boyfriend. He has _never _once turned his back on me! " She crosses her arms in front her. Her defiance evident in her posture.

"So you think he'll make a better friend! You think he can take _my _place?!" Clark's not even trying to deny the build up of rage any longer. "I bet you have no problem drinking his coffee! Do you?" He accuses. "You get rid of me and that pipsqueak Olsen sweeps in trying to steal your friendship from _ME_!" Clark beats his hand on his chest at the last word. The force of it vibrates through the room.

"What!" Chloe stops, not shocked at his show of rage, but caught off guard by his words. She narrows her eyes, her anger fueled with her new knowledge. "You listened to us! How dare you listen to us! How dare you violate me! You would _never _violate Lana like that!" She spits out.

"Forget Lana!" Clark shouts. "This is about us! You. And me!" He breathes out forcefully.

Chloe chuckles, antagonizing him, "Oh and Jimmy! Let's not forget about Jimmy!"

"Fuck Jimmy!" Clark growls.

"First..." Chloe ticks off, "...Jimmy doesn't deserve that!" She ignores Clark's growl, and tries to shake off the shutters his guttural response invokes. "And second, there is no you and me. This is simply about _me_!" Her heart skips a beat.

"You're lying!" Clark's voice is low and husky, as he takes another step toward her.

Trying to disregard her body's reaction to his approach. Her blood surging through her rapidly, her heart pounding for him. "If that's what you want to believe Clark." She shrugs, feigning nonchalance. "I don't care anymore."

"It's not just about you Chloe. And you know it. It's _all _about me, isn't it?" Hearing the speeding of her heart, Clark breathes deep. Her body strumming a tune that makes the fires blaze furiously. His own body buzzes in response as he closes in on her.

"What's all about you?" She glares at him. Stepping backward. He can't get too close. Why the hell does he keep getting closer?

"Why do you have to distance yourself from me?" He moves toward her still. He needs to be near her, his body craves it, the fires call out for her.

She side-steps his question with one of her own, "Why are you here Clark?"

Why does she keep asking him that? Why won't she answer his questions? "Stop fucking asking me that?" He roars.

Chloe imperceptibly shivers upon his husky demand. His voice pounding on her, through her. He has to leave, this is not good. She's not sure how much longer she'll be able to hold strong.

They both unconsciously continue this unrelenting, heat driven dance of Clark moving closer and Chloe avoiding his advance.

"God Chloe why are you always pushing me away?" He demands to know, his intensity increasing. He ignores her words, their implications. Right now, the fury inside of him requires she only answer to one question, 'Why' is all that matters.

"Because I'm tired Clark!" She finally snaps, letting the truth spill out of her. "I can't do this anymore! I can't be your friend and watch you waste your life on indecision and misery!" Clark wants the truth, so that's what he'll get. "I can't watch anymore. I refuse to watch you self-destruct in pursuit of your delusional fairy tale." Shutting her eyes tight, she pauses breathing deeply. She returns her gaze to Clark, who appears to be barely containing his anger. "I can't watch you mope and brood and become withdrawn over Lana anymore. I just can't! And I can't continue in one-sided friendships and just sit back and take what I'm given! I deserve more! And frankly right now neither of you deserve my friendship."

Clark reels back. His muscles tense. He feels the scorching heat move, zealously it has overcome his being. He begins again clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. His nostrils flare as he tries with no avail to assuage the wild-fire pulsing, pounding, demanding in his head. "Excuse me!" He growls threateningly, as he steadily prowls toward her. "You act like you're God's gift. Like your precious friendship is so great! We should all just kiss your ass and be thankful!" He's looming over her now, eyes glowing orange, tinged with rage. Enough is enough!

He doesn't even realize that he's advanced upon her or that she's retreated in his determined approach. Neither realize that she's now backed into the wall, while Clark's large body, only inches away, holds her captive, his arms brace against the wall, on either side of her head.

Chloe raises her head in defiance. "My 'precious friendship'?" She scoffs. The words hurt deeply, but she refuses to let him see how much. Her body rigid with tension, her eyes dark with fury. "How dare you!" Ignoring her own betraying body. She wants to touch him... oh how, she wants to touch him. Too close, he's entirely too close. She leans toward him unaware. Try as she might, she can't stop her body from reacting, from giving in. She can't hide her tell.

Clark smirks wickedly. An expression Chloe has come to associate with his alter-ego Kal. But this isn't Red-K, this is all Clark. He can sense her arousal. He lowers his head, "I dare Chloe!" He whispers low and seductive in her ear, Chloe whimpers in response. Moving his head so intimately close they're barely touching. "I'm through kissing your ass for your friendship. It's really more trouble than you're worth!"

Without thought, in automatic response Chloe raises her hand to slap him, but Clark's hand snakes out, faster than she can follow, snatching her hand in mid swing, although his attention remains intensely focused on her face, her furiously expressive eyes. He clucks his tongue tauntingly. "You know better than that Chlo."

"Fuck you Clark!" She bites out.

"Fuck you too!" He replies just as vehemently. Not letting go of her hand he pins it to the wall above her head.

"I wish I never met you!" She hisses venomously, her eyes glaring intensely. _'Then I wouldn't be going through all this madness.' _Chloefinishes, internally.

"I wish I never met _you_!" He counters. _'Then I wouldn't be going through all this confusion.' _Clarkadds silently.

Their faces are only millimeters apart. Their heavy labored breaths mingling, caressing each others lips. One tiny move that's all it would take. A tilt of the head, a barely there stretch of the neck. A simple dip just to make the connection. Both tempted and both stubbornly refusing to give. They gaze eternally into each other's eyes. Both reading the intensity, the desperation for each other, the abject need and desire. They're lost for a long moment, both inhaling the other's life breath. Until finally Chloe breaks the trance.

"Get out." She seethes, her eyes still locked on his. One hand fisted at her side, the other fisted against the wall, fighting her desire to reach out, to give in. "Get out now!" She says more forcefully.

He continues to stare at her for a moment. Captivated by her fierce emerald eyes, enraptured in the smell of her. Drugged off of the feel of her breath on his skin. He inadvertently glances down at her lips as her tongue snakes out to lick them and groans, shutting his eyes momentarily. Fighting the urges, fighting the fire. But her scent assaults him, and her pounding heart-beat excites him, inciting the beast begging to be unleashed. He's indecisive. He knows this is it. One move and everything falls to ruin. Yet he wants so much to do something about it... about her. He can feel it raging in him, but unlike the last time, he desperately wants to give into it. With the last dregs of his will power, Clark finally moves pushing himself up from the wall, and away from Chloe, releasing his hold on her. Fighting the hold she has on him.

Clark moves silently, stiffly towards the freight elevator, until Chloe's voice halts him. "Clark?" He doesn't turn to face her. He can hear her heart pounding in her chest erratically, only fueling his desire. "Don't come back!"

Her words strike something bestial inside of him. He knows she means more than just 'coming back here'. He knows she means 'come back to her'. This breaks something in him. And now he doesn't have a choice, whatever is raging in him, is undeniable, he's a slave to it. He can't wait for the elevator, he just can't, he has to go now! Using the back stairs, the emergency exits, he speeds away from Chloe, away from the Clock Tower, away from Metropolis, from Smallville, and away from Kansas.

Chloe watches silently as her words strike it's bulls-eye. Breathing rapidly, to steady herself and reign in her hot desire. It's for the best, she tells herself, as she sees Clark vanish before her eyes. Once he's gone, she turns absently, running her hands through her hair in frustration, not knowing what to do. She looks around her... wildly, purposelessly. Before she goes back to her bedroom. Work! Work! Work! She chants silently. 'It's done!' She inhales a ragged breath. 'I need to get out of here and work!'


	17. CONFUSION Day 4:2

After an excruciatingly cold shower, that not only worked to cool her body's longing, but also silenced the howling storm of her raging emotions, Chloe, garbed only in a towel, stands blindly peering into the open closet for something... anything. Her unseeing eyes rake over her limited choice of clothes, discarding the shirts... blouses. Pants suits and skirts? Flats and heels. What is she looking for? Her mind is blank. She feels oddly barren... not numb. No, numbness she'd be thankful for. Instead, she's overwhelmed with emotion she can't lay claim to. Sadness, anger, confusion, longing, lust, love, hate, relief and anxiety, uncertainty and indecision... a kaleidoscope of feelings that has left her with a sense of... nothing. The onslaught of too many varying colors has blinded her. Leaving her barren... used up and exhausted beyond worth.

Yet there is something she's supposed to be doing and her lack of concentration adds frustration to the swirling ingredients of emotions. Chloe walks to the bed and takes a seat at the edge, folding over, her elbows rest on her thighs as she holds her head in her hands. Water droplets fall from her wet hair, dripping, flowing down her hands and her arms adding to the moisture of the towel. Chloe shivers in response to the cool breeze circulating in the room. She can't think, can't focus. Her mind is unable to conjure up anything but Clark. With her eyes closed, the raw intense rage that had been in Clark's eyes haunts her. Remembering the stiffness in his muscles makes her stomach knot. Picturing his hands balled into fists, clenching and unclenching at his sides, causes Chloe to unconsciously dig her fingers in tighter. She inhales a ragged breath, almost choking upon her broken exhalation. Why was he so angry with her? Chloe rubs her hands over her eyes. She's never seen him so worked up before, not even when Mr. Kent passed. What's going on with him?

She remembers Clark leaning into her, over her. His husky voice tickling her ear making her shiver uncontrollably, the intoxicating heat of his breath bathing her lips and caressing her skin. The heat of his body blanketing her in a warmth of desire. She falls back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. What's going on with _her_? How could she let him get to her like that? She _hates, _she let him get to her. Chloe's spent years building up walls, concocting an immunity to his presence. And in one heated moment, Clark decimated her walls to dust, and infected her yet again with his addictive super-virus. "Ugh!" Chloe screams in frustration, her voice piercing the silent room. Never again! She promises herself. She'll be better... stronger!

But the mammoth size problem is that she doesn't want to be better. She doesn't want to be stronger. Chloe brings her legs up on the bed, curling into herself. She doesn't want to fight the feelings she has. She's tired of fighting herself. _'You wanted to just be friends, we're friends!' _Clark's angry words beat at her further. What did he really mean by that? Was he blaming their status on her? Did Clark really want to be with her all those years ago? And Jimmy. He couldn't be jealous of Jimmy... could he? Chloe shuts her eyes and tightly fists the towel in her hand. No! She can't allow him to confuse her. If he had really wanted her, he could have disagreed with the friendship. If he really wanted to start a romantic relationship, he would have pursued her when he came back from the Phantom Zone. No! Clark's not into her like that. If he was, he would never have chased behind Lana so zealously. _That's _the girl of his dreams. The love of his life... the girl he's always wanted. Lana... not her... his less significant side-kick. Clark just wanted a reaction from her, that's all! And God... he'd gotten one didn't he? Chloe balls herself up tighter. She feels so foolish... so pathetic.

A loud chirp reverberates through the room, assaulting the silence. Chloe remains still for a moment, unaffected by the sudden noise, until the incessant buzzing stops... only to begin again a second later. Chloe stretches blindly to the night-stand, her fingers wrapping around her cell phone. She doesn't look at the Caller ID, she doesn't really care who it is.

Flipping the phone open, she answers blandly. "Yeah."

"Damn it Chlo! Where the hell are you? I have been waiting at this bistro for more than 30 minutes now. You're late!" Lois' abrasive voice shrieks in her ear. "Did you forget about breakfast with your big cousin?"

"No." is Chloe's listless reply.

Lois pauses at the sound of her cousin's defeated tone. "What's the matter?" Her voice is soft, the concern evident.

"Nothing" The blonde chokes out, small and lifeless.

"Where are you Chloe?" There's no response, just silence. Lois repeats emphatically. "Chloe. Where. Are. You?"

Chloe opens her eyes and exhales slowly. She doesn't want Lois to come here. She doesn't want anyone to see her like this. But she's too tired to move. She just wants to be alone, but she knows her cousin will never let things be and will continue to hound her. After a moment of deliberation she answers, "Oliver's pent-house."

Chloe can hear Lois' shocked indrawn breath. "You're at Olly's?" She asks clearly not believing her little cousin. It has to be a joke.

"Yeah..." Chloe closes her eyes, she's really not prepared for this. She can't deal with Lois and her insecurities right now and the questions she's sure are coming. Chloe puts a halt to them before they start. "Please! Please Lo... don't ask. If you're coming over here, don't ask OK. Whatever you're thinking, keep it to yourself for now... Please." With that said, Chloe closes the phone ending the call, not waiting for a reply. It really doesn't matter what Lois had to say. Coming or not... nothing matters.

--

He runs. Clark is good at running. He enjoys it. Out of all of the Kryptonian powers he's been sentenced with, he finds his speed to be the most useful And right now, it has to be a God-send. Running faster than he ever has before, Clark leaves the corn-stalks of Kansas behind him.

He has to get away... far away. Through the Ozark plateau of Missouri into Arkansas... he doesn't stop. He can't stop... won't allow himself to slow down. Running is the only thing keeping him from turning back and going to her. He won't stop. Clark's afraid. Terrified really. So close... he was so close to losing it. Or has he lost it already? This beast inside of him craves solace... it's hungry. Hungry for her. He'd had to leave. He hadn't been able to control it any longer. And the hardest part is, Clark isn't sure he'd wanted to control it. Whatever this is inside of him is hot and demanding and all consuming. And he'd wanted to let it out... wanted to give in to it's desires.

God... what is happening to him. He did the right thing in leaving... didn't he? He'd had to! Into the marsh and swamp of the Mississippi to Alabama's dry heat, this raging force inside, won't be abated, it had demanded that he either break her or break her in! Those were the only options he'd been given. Clark had never really experienced the instinctive 'Fight or Flight' sensation that humans described when faced with intense situations. He'd never known of it, never felt it first hand... or maybe he did, he isn't sure. He's not fearless, yet there are few things that actually scare him, that don't involve revealing his non-human status or kryptonite exposure. Yet either way when faced with an opposing force... the option to flee has never been a consideration. Until now. Chloe had made him want to flee... _And _fight. And he was terrified. The idea of possibly hurting his Chloe is a horrific thought. He'd NEVER want to hurt her... he'd just wanted so desperately to claim her. And _this _makes him run faster... push himself harder.

Through the southwestern edge of Georgia into the flats of Florida... Clark runs. What the hell is wrong with him? Chloe is his friend... his best friend, but just a _friend_. And he's with Lana. He loves _her_. Yet the memory of Chloe's breath on his face. The feel of her body pushed up against his, the scent of her arousal makes his body quake even now. And the fire inside him flames hotter. Clark pushes himself further releasing a feral guttural roar in his efforts, heedless of the objects caught in his powerful slip stream as he passes... cars drag, windows shatter, trees and other foliage uproot, none of it matters... only distance. Just keep running!

--

Chloe is slipping in and out of consciousness, when she hears the sound of the elevator coming to a stop. She remains unmoved, hearing it open and the click of Lois' confident heeled steps. Chloe keeps her eyes closed, as her cousin calls out to her, coming deeper into the apartment.

The small blonde tightens her eye lids, as the door opens slowly, "Chloe?" Lois' uncommonly gentle voice, prompts her to open her eyes in response. Chloe looks upon her beautiful cousin, sightlessly.

"Chloe?" Lois cautiously enters the room, closing the distance between herself and her little cousin's shattered, inert form. "God, Chloe what happened?" She voices, soft and kind. And overwhelmingly affected. It's too much for Chloe to stand. She shuts her eyes again, seeking to dispel the comfort Lois offers. Wanting to rid herself of her cousin's solicitous presence. She just wants to be left alone.

Lois sits gently on the edge of the bed beside her. Chloe looks so small and fragile to her. She places her hand on Chloe's head, stroking her hair gently, affectionately. "What's the matter Chloe?"

The affection is too much, bringing her misery to the fore. Chloe wants to cry... but she has no tears. She's barren. Yet an involuntary tearless sob racks her body unbidden at the invasion of Lois' tender care. She grabs the hand Lois has in her hair, fisting it tightly, as her body shudders beyond her control.

"Oh God." Lois gasps, tears filling her eyes. Without thought she crosses over Chloe onto the bed, holding her from behind. Pulling Chloe tightly to her, as she continues to lavish her with unsolicited affection and tenderness. Chloe's body continues to shake violently in the loving arms of her cousin, she holds onto to Lois with a grip so tight it's as if Lois' arms are the only thing keeping her from drowning.

--

Clark has to keep moving, he can't stop. Yet he does. Halted by the North Atlantic or is it the Gulf... he doesn't care. Stopping at the edge of the Florida peninsula and he involuntarily turns, looking back at the path he's trekked. The way back to Chloe. Already he feels the pull. He wants to go to her so badly. Her heartbeat still pounds in his ears. He can't go back. He's not sure what he'll do if he goes back. He has to keep moving. Not far enough!

Releasing an anguished howl, Clark jumps high and fast, thrusting himself further into the air, and lands squarely in the Upper Keys. Running across the island and reaching the end, he vaults upward yet again. One Key to the next until there's nothing but water. Clark jumps, propelled forward into the clear blue. He dives deep and fast crashing into the calm waters.

Swimming swiftly and thoughtlessly, until finally steadying in the depths of the Atlantic. Looking up at the glint of light, shielded by the water, Clark stays himself. Maybe if he can hold his breath long enough, he can drown his desire for Chloe. Maybe the lack of air will extinguish the fires roaring for her. He looks around him, the glorious sea-life awakening, scrutinizing their intruder. If he could just think or focus... Clark suspects he would have been awed by the varying fish and underwater life surrounding him. But he isn't able to. He's merely waiting, biding his time until the echo of her is silenced in his mind.

He doesn't need her! Damn it! He meant what he said... this isn't worth it! He has his own life to be concerned with. A farm to run, a cousin to take care of and a girlfriend that needs his attention. Fuck Chloe! Her presence or lack there of, won't affect him one way or the other. Lana is his life. Lana is the one that makes his life worthwhile. He doesn't need the nosey blond. He doesn't want the trouble that seems to follow her. Shit! Chloe doesn't matter. If she wants to push him away and no longer wants to be in his life... then so be it. His life will carry on just fine without her. Chloe is a non-factor!

A burning begins to spread in his chest from lack of oxygen. Swiftly Clark jets through the water toward the surface. Propelling himself so fast, so hard, he continues to rise upon breaking the placid surface. High, higher he moves toward the sun. For a brief moment Clark feels weightless as he soars, wondering if this is what Kara feels when she flies. Clark reaches the ionosphere, but then stops and begins his uncontrolled decent, plummeting back to earth, back into the Atlantic, creating a tidal wave as he hits the ocean surface.

--

After a long while of silence, Lois, now sitting up against the head board with Chloe nestled in her arms, running her hands through her hair, she attempts to find the cause of her cousins anguish. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks quietly, thankful that the violent shudders that ravaged Chloe's petite body have ceased.

"No." Chloe answers simply.

Lois is undeterred, and tenses in preparation of the answer to the next question. "Did Oliver do this to you?" She breathes out.

"No." came the blonde's immediate reply.

"Then who?" She relaxes.

Chloe breathes deep. "No one. I..." She swallows the knot forming in her throat. "...I did this to myself."

Silence settles around them once again. Lois wants to probe further, but is unsure whether she actually wants the answers to her questions. With much internal struggle, she decides to let her cousin be. Chloe will open up to her when she's ready. Lois continues the relaxing ministration through Chloe's now tangled hair.

"Lois?" Chloe finally breaks the silence. Her voice is small and hesitant.

"Hmm?"

"I'm a meteor freak." She says emotionless. Her words dry and lifeless lacking intonation.

Unconsciously, Lois tightens her arms around Chloe. "What?" She's startled by the sudden revelation.

"I'm a meteor freak..." Chloe repeats in the same manner as before. Lois stills her hands and listens intently. "I saved your life. I healed you in the dam when you were stabbed. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared. I didn't know what was happening to me."

Absorbing the truth that Chloe's lain bare before her, Lois quiets for a moment. She'd had a feeling that there was more to her miraculous healing, but never pushed it, just thankful that it happened. She begins her affectionate attention again. Clearing her throat she says quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace surrounding them. "Not that I'm not happy you told me but... why are you telling me now? After all this time I mean?"

The brunette starts, confused at the sudden laugh released from her cousin. Chloe rises, moving from Lois' embrace, laughing mirthlessly... almost hysterically. "Because I'm selfish!" She says through her chortle, then sobers, taking a deep breath, eyes downcast. "Because I'm a selfish person."

Lois' concern heightens, she moves from the head-board toward her cousin. Grabbing for her hand, she holds it in between hers. "You are not selfish Chlo." She tries to reassure her. "You are the most caring, loving, giving person... You are not selfish."

Chloe shakes her head upon Lois' assertion, "Yes I am Lois." She says dryly. "Truthfully the only reason I told you this, is because I don't want to be alone in this. It's a burden, that I selfishly unloaded onto your shoulders." She nearly sobs out her next words, "but I don't want to go through this alone."

Pulling Chloe toward her, she hugs her tightly. "Hey. You're not Chlo. You don't have to. I'm here." She pulls back from Chloe holding her head in between her hands, forcing the blonde girl to look at her. "You are not selfish. I _would_ want to know. I _do_ want to know. And you are not alone in this. Ok?... OK?" Chloe nods mutely, before Lois pulls her back into her arms, rocking her. "You are not alone Chloe, your big cousin is always here." They stay that way, rocking back and forth, for a moment until "Does Smallville know?" Lois asks.

Chloe's only response is a silent death grip on Lois' suit jacket. She doesn't prod further, just nods in understanding.

"I'm losing everything Lois." Chloe begins quietly, broken. "Everything is slipping through my fingers. And... and to keep myself afloat, to keep from dying I have to give up my life. And I'm so tired Lo..." She breathes out in exasperation. "I'm tired of being the martyr, tired of being the sacrifice and being the one to sacrifice. God, I'm so tired of being the one to have to give up everything... of being the loser."

Lois has no idea what she's talking about, but she let's Chloe continue... allows her to purge herself and release her demons.

Chloe hates that she's had to give Clark up... that she's been forced to let him go. But she knows if she hadn't, she would have eventually lost him anyway. It was a matter of time really. Now that Clark has everything he's ever wanted, all he's ever dreamed about. There's really no room for her in his life. And Chloe really can't bare to be there anymore. Doesn't want to watch his boundary-less love affair with the morally-questionable Lana unfurl. Chloe guesses that Lana can do whatever she wants, and Clark will still look upon her as if she's angelic. She prays that one day this love she harbors for him will die, hopes that then they can resume their friendship. And maybe she can even be the Pulitzer winning aunt to their ethereally beautiful, raven haired, alien-human hybrid, super powered, amoral children.

"I'm pathetic." Chloe claims, frowning while she absently picks threads from the towel.

"No!" Lois insists forcefully. "No you are not! Chloe... out of all of the 20-something year olds I know, you are _the _strongest. You're my cousin, and no family member of mine is pathetic..." She pulls back from the smaller girl to look at her. Using her hand, she delicately tilts Chloe's head upward by the chin. "Chloe you have no idea how great you are, do you?" Chloe shuts her eyes to conceal the emotion. "You are beautiful, intelligent beyond belief, spunky, thoughtful, hardworking... Damn! You're practically the perfect woman."

Lois lowers her hand once she notices she's got Chloe's attention. "I'll tell you the truth Chlo. The only reason I started at the Inquisitor, was because I wanted to be like you." She chuckles wryly, at seeing the bemused expression on Chloe's face. "Really. I was so happy when I started working at the Planet, because guess what... you're there. I could live your dream with you. And not only that... maybe your dream would include me." Lois' expression softens. "Chloe you rock... harder than an '80's hair band! Harder than Whitesnake! And even though you're younger than me... I want to be just like you. I look up to you..." Lois points to herself and adds. "And I am not freakin' pathetic! So you definitely can't be. You got it!" She smiles and Chloe returns her smile with a small one of her own.

The older cousin nods in satisfaction, seeing some of the spark return to her cousin's eyes. Planting a kiss on Chloe's forehead, she then hops off of the bed, returning to her normal temperament. "Now get your ass in gear! We've got news to break; sources to crack; and articles to fudge our way through. We should have already been at the Planet..." Lois checks her watch as she crosses to the door. "You have 20 minutes. Any longer than that, and I'm coming in here and dragging your ass off to work..." Scrutinizing Chloe's form she adds, "...towel and all!" Then exits closing the door behind her.

Chloe sits for a moment, eyes trained on the closed door, a slow smile creeping across her face. Just what she needed... not a complete dose of Red Bull but she's starting to identify the colors again. Getting up from her seat on the bed, Chloe walks to the closet, to begin the search anew.

--

Clark swims and swims until he reaches a land mass. Pulling himself out of the water, he crawls onto the sand of a small remote inlet breathing deeply. Forget Chloe! He coaches himself, moving further onto the surface. Forget her and her radient sun-kissed hair. He likes brunettes. And her glowing emerald eyes... he prefers them more hazel. And forget her alluringly curvy figure... he likes his women small and fragile. Her melodious, lively laugh... he wants whispery and mild. Forget her! He doesn't need Chloe.

As he comes to a stop in a thick, Cuban forest, Clark plops down exhausted from his exertion. "Fuck Chloe!" He says breathlessly to the masses of trees hiding him, his last words before he closes his eyes and slips into unconsciousness.


	18. CONFUSION Day 4:3

Just as she forewarned, Lois marched into the room 20 minutes later, with not a second to spare. Lois looks down at Chloe, who's sitting on the bed strapping on her heels.

"Are you ready?" The older cousin asks, her impatience shooting from her in sparks, "I just got off of the phone with Grant, and let me say, I don't like being treated like a child... This is your fault, so come on! Get your shit, I want outta here!" She motions toward the bedroom door.

"Yeah, I remember begging you to come here." Chloe snarks, rising from her position, she smoothes down her pencil skirt.

Lois turns suddenly, "You're damn right! And you know... how dare he talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing. That ass-hole! I am a Lane, and Mr. Grant Gabriel wouldn't know good writing if it sat in his lap and saluted... he's a jerk!"

Chloe tries to hide her smirk, "That you're dating... " She whispers knowingly to herself.

The brunette cousin, stares at her intuitive little cuz silently for a moment, before she grabs Chloe by the arm ushering her out of the door. "You got everything, you ready?"

Chloe nods, entering into the open space. She gathers a light jacket and slings her satchel bag over her shoulders, while Lois waits by the freight elevator, the seconds counted by the tapping of her foot.

Once it opens, she enters as Chloe hustles to meet up with her. Lois turns to her silent cousin as they descend, "You _will_ explain to me why you're staying in Oliver's pent house right?"

The blonde swallows and nods mutely. She should have known Lois wouldn't let that slide past her. Damn it!

--

Ducking and weaving in and out of the on rush of hungry reporters, Chloe maneuvers, darting quickly to her overflowing desk, when a flash of blonde hair brings her to an abrasive halt.

Chloe blinks, smoothing down her ruffled hair. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, she passes by Kara then dumps her bag on her chaotic desk. "You Kryp... Kents!" She mutters to herself.

Kara giggles, unaware of Chloe's displeasure. "I would think that years of bonding with Kal would have desensitized you to our way of mobility."

Chloe frowns**, **down onto her chair , "Yeah well... that particular family trait, never gets old." She looks up at Kara, assessing the alien, for the first time acknowledging that the girl is actually at her desk, apparently for _her_. Chloe waits patiently for Kara to reveal her motives, watching as the new Kryptonian shuffles nervously from one foot to the other. Yeah, she's definitely a Kent. Having mercy on the awkward girl Chloe asks, "Is there something wrong Kara?"

Kara shakes her head immediately and answers, "No, no." Then she stiffens. Chloe can literally see the lightbulb turn on over her head as Kara turns to Chloe for a moment, her eyes widening in revelation. Suddenly, Kara holds up her hands, gesturing to Chloe. "Wait. Wait right here a minute." Kara nods, "I'll be right back."

Then she's gone in less than a blink. Chloe chuckles in puzzlement, shaking her head derisively. Something's really wrong with all the Kryptonians in her life. She sighs looking at her blank computer screen, and before she can complete logging into the Daily Planet server, Kara's back in front of her desk, the cup of Talon coffee in her hand unmistakable. Chloe opens her mouth to speak, ready to decline her offering, but Kara cuts in.

"I'm so sorry." She says, placing the container on an open spot on Chloe's desk. "Kal always says that the way to your heart is through your caffeine intake." Kara smiles sheepishly. "Considering the amount of time he spends at the counter of the Talon, I should have remembered that." She self-deprecates.

Chloe takes pity on the newly misinformed girl, "It's fine Kara." She says slowly, softly. It isn't Kara's fault that she and Clark are on the outs at the moment. She takes a deep breath, before gesturing to an empty chair by her desk... _Clark's _chair. She clears her throat uncomfortably, wishing to dispel the evil thoughts. "What's up Kara?" Chloe's ready to get down to business, she doesn't need the constant reminders, unfortunately, regrettably this includes Kara and her wicked, wicked coffee. Chloe thought it would be insulting to dump the devil's temptation right in front of her... she decides to wait. Eyeing the coffee as if it were poisonous, Chloe jumps to a conclusion, wide-eyed she asks, "Did Clark ask you to come here?" She breathes deep in frustration. Why can't he leave well enough alone?

Kara chortles lightly, "Oh Rao no! In fact, he practically begged me not to talk to you."

OK, Wow! That hurt. Chloe swallows hard. The sadness steadily creeping up on her. She isn't idiotic enough to believe that everything will just go back to normal with them or anything, but still she hadn't expect him to... to what? Damn it! It doesn't matter. This is her choice. Kara's voice startles her, she'd forgotten the other girl's presence for a moment.

"Please don't tell him that I came to you?" The Kryptonian beauty pleads, "I would rather not upset him further... actually that is the reason for my visit." Kara begins, taking a gingerly seat in the offensive chair. "...I've been watching Kal for a couple of days now, and his behavior has been alarming... I think."

"You think?" Chloe asks incredulously, attempting to hide her own knowledge of Clark's disturbing behavior.

"Yes... You see, you've known Kal longer and his pet..."

Chloe holds up her hands, prompting Kara to pause, "His pet?" His pet? She definitely needs clarification on that one.

Kara laughs, "Lana."

The reporter has no choice but to smile at Kara's joviality, not to mention, it appears that Lana had one less worshiper. She nods for Kara to continue, the sooner Kara spits out what she wants, the sooner she can zip away or at the very least stop talking about Clark. Chloe really did like the Kryptonian goddess. It's a shame really, Kara would have to become an unsuspecting casualty in their future distance. "You were saying..." She snorts, "...about his _pet_."

"Yes." Kara straightens, getting back to her point. "She seems so unaware, so I thought that I should talk to you..."

Chloe cuts in again, "Well, they have been going through a tough time lately. I know it may be hard... you live on the farm with them, but just give them some space to work it out. I've witnessed first hand the patented Clark mope, it's nothing..." She tries not to grimace at her next words, "Clark and Lana love each other, and that always works for them, so... " She's sure she's failed miserably, but continues on. " ... he'll be back to his ever brooding form in no time."

Kara notices her pained expression and narrows her eyes in scrutiny. She wonders if this human girl is truly aware of her position in Kal-El's life? Kara doesn't want to be too presumptious, but she is almost certain there's something more there, and decides to file her thoughts on Chloe away to ponder on later. She needs more information, to make a clear assessment. "It's something Chloe. I promise!" She insists, then adds, "And as for Kal... " she pffts dismissively, "... he's acting like a fool, unaware of what he needs and uncertain of what he wants."

She's trying, she's trying really hard. It's not Kara's fault... but Chloe's had enough. She can't do this right now. It's too soon, too fresh. "Kara... " Chloe pushes herself up from the desk. "Whatever is going on with Clark and Lana, has nothing to do with me." She notices the beginning of Kara's objection and insists. "If there _is _something that worries you... you should call Mrs. Kent." Matter of fact, please call Martha, Chloe thinks. Remembering his volcanic rage earlier today. "Sorry, but there's nothing I can offer you where Clark's concerned." She finishes.

Kara stares, silently studying the other girl for a moment. Chloe shifts uncomfortably under her obvious assessment, and crosses her arms in front of her chest. Kara's gaze is unnerving and her silence, daunting. Searching for something anything to break the tense silence, and redirect Kara's focus, Chloe asks, "So how are the... um... culture classes coming?"

The Kryptonian blinks, a beautiful smile forming on her lips at the choice of Chloe's words, "They're great, and you've been so helpful. I just love Lois' fashion magazines... Did you know those 'how to' tests can be quite useful when dealing with human men. I have used a few with James and let..." She stops herself short, remembering who she's talking to. Yet Chloe, rapt in attention at Kara's enthusiasm, is oblivious to the reason for Kara's pause. The other girl looks down to her lap chastising herself for her lack of consideration. "Is this not proper? I do not mean to offend you."

Chloe stares blankly at the girl, unsure of the reason for her apology or her sudden despondency, until... her eyes widen as realization dawns. "Kara..." She says consolingly, going to her she lays a reassuring hand on the Kryptonian's shoulder. "It's fine. I promise. Jimmy and I are better off as friends." Kara raises her eyes to meet Chloe's, searching for the truth in her words. "It's OK. Really." Chloe emphasizes with a smile.

Kara beams at the reporter, her posture lolling in relief. "I just want you to know that I am grateful for your friendship Chloe and would never want to betray you. When I noticed the depth of dedication you and Kal have for each other, I didn't realize the impropriety of pursuing James, but I was so sure that you and Kal..."

Chloe cuts her off. "...are just friends." She insists.

Kara nods, dumbly, "But nothing like you and Jimmy." She shakes her head knowingly. "It's only a matter of time..."

Chloe huffs in annoyance, she really didn't need this. "Kara... " She calls or rather snaps a bit to forcefully. She lowers her voice and tries to lighten her tone, "... let's grab some lunch. You can fill me in on how things are going with Jimmy." Injecting some levity, Chloe nudges the girl with her hip playfully. "I can even help you out. Give you some pointers." She smiles brightly at seeing Kara perk up in excitement.

The alien girl rises from her seat, "Don't you have work?" She asks as Chloe loops her bag over her shoulder.

"Yeah... but I'm starved and we haven't talked for awhile. Besides, there's tons of stuff I could tell you about..." She smirks, "...James."


	19. CONFUSION Dream 3

The house is dark. It's cold on the second level. He can't be sure of his next step, but he knows where he's going. Although it feels foreign, he knows this house. He grew up in this house. Clark descends the stairs silently, following a dim glow in the kitchen. Staying his steps once he enters, Clark looks through the rooms to find the source.

The fireplace is cooling, the embers from a previous fire now fading. Though he didn't witness it, Clark's sure it used to be a living blaze, warm and welcoming... but now it's dying in silence. Clark frowns, disconcerted. There should be more light. He knows. The house should be warmer. Something's missing... it's unsettling. He tries to make it to the fireplace before the last spark is snuffed out. So sure that if he can add another log, the blaze would be renewed. Yet his movements are sluggish and heavy. The embers flicker tauntingly. Winking at his lack of ability... his powerlessness.

Suddenly a gentle hand lands on his shoulder, wanting to pull his attention away from the sickly flame. Clark doesn't turn. He doesn't have to... he knows to whom the hand belongs. Lana. The one now with him. Staring at the lifeless flare, Clark becomes inexplicably saddened. He's aware that he shouldn't be sorrowful, she's here, this is what he's desired for so long. But there's something else. Nothing's as it should be, but inside he knows that this is the way it is.

"Clark?" She calls to him softly.

"What happened to the fire?" His body remains unresponsive to her presence.

She comes around to face him, "You put it out." She explains.

He pauses briefly in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Lana shrugs, a slight frown settling on her face, "You _wanted _the fire extinguished?"

Clark searches the room. The dim light casting murky shadows around them. Light is supposed to illuminate not create more darkness. "I didn't want this." He says somberly. Shivering as a cold breeze creeps up his spine.

Lana hugs him around the waste, laying her head on his solid chest. "We have each other Clark. We can keep each other warm." But it's still so cold. It's not supposed to be so cold. 'My parents house used to be warmer.' He thinks.

"It shouldn't be like this Lana. It should be brighter... warmer." He says slowly as if explaining to a child.

"You wanted this Clark." She retorts. "You _chose _this."

Shaking his head vehemently, Clark disagrees with astounding urgency, "I didn't choose this! I didn't... I didn't know there was a choice to make... I haven't chosen anything." Somehow he's aware of the seriousness of this event... how significant this moment can be.

A light sparks behind him, just as a familiar voice caresses his ear. "Yes Clark, the choice has already been made."

Clark spins around swiftly to face his friend. Chloe! He relaxes immediately letting out a calm sigh. Chloe will chase away the shadows. She always does. His eyes roam over her incandescent form standing in the doorway to the house. Alighting the darkness around her. He can see the heat shimmering in waves from her body. "Come in." Clark breathes with a goofy grin. This is what the house needs. Why didn't he think of it before? Chloe will bring in the light and warmth.

She shakes her head and answers sorrowfully. "I can't."

He swallows hard, "What?" This is something he'd already known, but Clark hadn't wanted to believe it. He has to fight it.

Chloe meets his eyes directly. The sadness in her countenance is unmistakable. "I'm sorry Clark, but I don't belong here."

"What?" He gasps. It's getting hard for him to breathe, the air is stifling... choking him. What does she mean she doesn't belong here. Chloe belongs with me!

"You've made your choice." She says. Her eyes gleaming in the subtle darkness.

Clark needs to get closer to her. He needs to be near her. If she can't come in, he'll go to her. Walking slowly, Clark comes to stop directly in front of her. His large frame dominating the entryway. "I don't remember making a choice." He says quietly. Held captive by the brilliance of her presence, Clark stares, mesmerized by the intensity of her jeweled gaze.

"Clark?" Lana calls out to him from behind. But he can't move. He's entranced.

Lightly, Chloe runs her hands up his chest, his neck, the sides of his face and through is hair, until they wrap around his neck. Yet still Clark remains motionless, ensnared in her unwavering stare. He shivers, this time not from lack of warmth. Chloe's bewitching touch, is his undoing. Yet all at once it forges him anew. "You've already made your choice Clark... You just have to act on it." Chloe leans up into him, and lowers her voice to a whisper in his ear. Her warm breathe remaking him, soothing him and awaking him. "So until then..." She trails off, releasing him. Chloe takes a step back. Clark reflexively reaches out for her. But she's too far away.

Lana's voice comes from behind yet again, he turns his head to acknowledge her over his shoulder. "She doesn't belong here with us Clark. We have each other."

Clark turns back, terrified by the distance created between himself and his blonde friend. He needs her. Something inside of him calls for her, it won't survive without Chloe. He just can't let her leave him. He has to do something... anything.

On impulse, he rushes through the door and comes to a stop outside of the Talon. The nights dark veil hangs heavy and thick around him. But Chloe's golden waves shines like a beacon in the distance. This is it! He _knows _this is it! He can't go after her, as Chloe moves deeper into the merging crowd on the street corner. He can't stop her as she walks faster and farther away from him. Chloe's out of his reach and Clark feels it internally. The truth clawing at him from the inside. There is a finality that settles over him. Leaving him shaking. Nothing he can do! No more confusion. And now... he knows it.


	20. CONFUSION Day 4:4

By the time Chloe makes it back from lunch with Kara, she feels almost like herself again. Kara's innocence and honest nature has been surprisingly invigorating. Though there were times during the meal she felt like Kara had her under a microscope. Chloe chuckles wryly, she's possibly a candidate for some alien experiment. She jokes to herself. Walking through the sea of journalists, Chloe comes to a stop at her desk. She blinks, astonished at who she sees. Her temperature spikes as she approaches cautiously.

"Hi Chloe!" Lana greets, rising from her position behind Chloe's desk.

Chloe fists the strap of her satchel bag tightly in her hand. Trying desperately to hold onto her composure. Unbelievable! "Lana." She acknowledges dully. "There must be some kind of an evacuation of the Kent Farm." She mutters to herself, referring to her constant visits today from all the residents. Chloe's half expecting Martha to waltz in next.

Crossing to her desk, Lana easily maneuvers herself out of her way. "Chloe..." She starts hesitantly, "...I thought maybe we could grab lunch."

"I already ate!" Chloe replies brusquely. Unloading her bag in her desk drawer and focusing on her monitor. She types in her password. Ignoring the tiny girl at her desk.

Lana sighs, "Well, I think we need to talk." All Lana needs is to get Chloe to see her side. Convince Chloe to overlook her missteps, then it would be a short trip to working things out with Clark. Being that Chloe is his bestfriend, once Lana has her back in her corner, Chloe could pursuade Clark to fall in line again. And she and Clark could get past this and be happy, just be happy. It's so simple really... if only Chloe will hear her out.

Chloe raises her head. Her steely gaze unreadable. "We have nothing to talk about Lana."

Lana shakes her head, "I think we do." She ripostes. OK, Chloe isn't making this easy. But Lana's determined. Clark hasn't spoken to her in nearly three days. Their relationship won't be able to sustain at this rate. She needs Clark in her life. They need each other. And she needs Chloe to help her.

Unbelievable! Chloe shuts her eyes, trying to maintain a steady inhale, exhale. Then asks. "Are you turning yourself in to the authorities? Are you giving up the 10 million dollars you stole?" She continues ignoring Lana's gestures at denial. "Are you closing down the Isis Foundation? Is any of this on the record. Did you come here for an interview?"

The tiny brunette narrows her eyes in annoyance. "Of course not!"

Chloe rolls her eyes and turns back to her computer monitor, "Then like I said, we have nothing to talk about." She responds curtly.

"I didn't do anything wrong. You know what kind of men Lex and Lionel are." She argues. How can Chloe be so obtuse?

Chloe nods, "Does the same go for Lois?"

"I didn't mean to hurt Lois, Chloe. That was a mistake. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time." Lana tries to explain.

Chloe chuckles unamused, "I know... What was she thinking, actually making an appearance at her own job? The nerve." She rolls her eyes. "You're so apologetic Lana. I guess your get well-soon card to Lois got lost in the mail. Does Hallmark even have cards that say 'I'm sorry for nearly killing you with my boyfriends powers'. You know those specialty orders take a hell of a long time to produce. I'll keep my eye out for yours." She says sarcastically.

Lana scoffs, "I really didn't come here for this! I'm attempting to repair our friendship but you... "

"Let me make it easy for you Lana. Our friendship... " Chloe gestures with her hands between them. " ...You and me... we're done!"

"... and Clark. What about Clark Chloe? You know who he'll choose." She folds her arms over her chest, raising her head haughtily.

"Then you get him on Weekdays and I'll get him on the Weekends and Holidays." Chloe snarks in reply. "Clark's a grown man Lana! He makes his own decisions, and this isn't a contest... it never was." She takes a breath in exasperation, then adds. "...but none of this matters, Clark and I have decided to give each other some space. So you don't have to worry about me." She informs, proud that her voice has remained steady. Though she feels the twinge in her heart, she delivers the message without wavering.

Lana stares at Chloe venomously, "I was never worried!" She feigns a relaxed pose, goading the blonde. "I say, good for you! It must be so frustrating pining away for a man that will never love you."

"Excuse me!" Chloe rises from her seat along with her hackles, narrowing her eyes at the brunette... pet.

Lana shrugs, "Well... us being together?I know that must bother you, so... "

Chloe cuts her off, her voice rising steadily, "What bothers me, is my _best friend_ compromisinghimself to be with you! Don't be mistaken Lana... the only reason you are not facing charges for assault right now is because Lois and I both care for _Clark_!" She glares at Lana, adopting the same defensive posture as the smaller girl, crossing her arms over her chest challengingly. "But the tide can swiftly turn!" She warns.

They meet each other's solid gaze for an undefined moment, both refusing to back down.

Chloe lowers herself back to her seat, her eyes never drifting from it's target. "Like I said before Lana... we have nothing to talk about." She directs her gaze back to her computer screen. For Chloe, the conversation's ended. Whether Lana goes or stays... she couldn't care less. Though truthfully she prefers the former. Unbelievable! Already she's missed enough work for the day. What's wrong with these people... coming to _her _place of employment, to confront her. Doesn't anyone use the phone anymore?

She sighs in relief upon noticing Lana's departure. Her muscles loosening, she leans back in her chair. So far her day has been three for three, Chloe can't help but be mildly curious to see what happens next.


	21. CONFUSION Day 5

Confusion Day 5

Clark groans, rolling over he burrows face first into the dirt. He lifts his head, jolted by the unfamiliar cushion of... dirt and leaves? He rolls back over onto his back, looking up above him, the sunlight peaking through the tree lined covering. Clark blinks a few times with groggy awareness. His mind sifting, trying to ascertain his whereabouts. An island. He remembers coming out of the water onto an island.

Clark can hear a thumping in the distance. He stretches his senses... Salsa? He can her hear the base and drums and... the people dancing and speaking in Spanish. Clark laughs wryly to himself. Cuba. He drifted to Cuba. Perfect. He can't wait to share with Chloe that he swam to Cuba. He has no doubt that she will get a kick out of this. Clark can almost hear Chloe complaining about his ability to go to the socialist republic of Cuba without having to embark from Canada. And worst... making him feel bad about not taking her with him. Clark smiles, he can't wait to tell her. He sighs happily.

'I wish I never met you!' Chloe's voice assaults him like a blast of cold air. His smile begins to fade as the memory reel replay, forcing him to remember their current situation. He can't tell Chloe... forget her! He doesn't _want _tell her. She's no longer in his life. Although the constant steady beat of her heart refutes his claim, Clark is adamant, that she does not exist! Damn it! Chl... Clark growls correcting himself. _That irritating reporter girl doesn't_ matter anymore! Clark rolls over onto his side, blocking from his view the little slips of light piercing the darkness through the trees. Sleep. Sleep will help with the exhaustion plaguing him and quiet the annoying heart beat in his ears. Damn _her_! He closes his eyes passing out immediately.

—

"So... you going to tell me what happened?" Lois inquires, sitting cross-legged on the sofa in the Talon apartment. She hugs a pillow to her, while Chloe lays curled up across from her viewing their chosen feel good movie 'Talladega Nights'. Ricky Bobby's peril seems to make Chloe feel better. She insists that she doesn't have to think if Ricky doesn't.

"No..." She mumbles, still focusing dumbly on the television. "...I don't want to talk about it." But now she's thinking about it. Damn it! The movie continues, but she can't reclaim her freakishly focused observation.

Lois is unmoved, silent in internal deliberation on how to approach this next subject. She didn't want to uncover her own pain this about Chloe but she needs to know. She _has _to know. "OK, so tell me why you were in Oliver's pent house." She heaves a nervous breath. "You can tell me if you're dating him. I won't get mad. I mean, we're not together anymore... I have no claim to him, so you can tell me if you're with him now. It's OK! Just... just tell me." She says swiftly. Revealing her anxiety in the rush of words.

Chloe pushes herself to face her rambling cousin. "Lois, I'm not dating Oliver!" Lois looks dubious, so Chloe insists "Seriously Lo. There's nothing going on with us." The brunette opens her mouth to speak, but Chloe pushes on. "The only reason I'm staying at Oliver's is because he said it was fine. He's in Star City and the pent house is vacant."

Noticing Lois' narrowed eyes, she suspects the next round of questions, and explains further. "I became acquainted with Oliver through Clark... Mrs. Kent really." That's sort of the truth, she muses silently. "And then... we have _you _common." She adds, sealing the connection between herself and the billionaire play-boy. Hopefully that will stay Lois' questions... for now at least.

Lois breathes easy, shutting her eyes momentarily. "OK..." She accepts her cousin's answer, chuckling nervously. "I'm sorry. I kept trying to tell myself, that you wouldn't do that. But you know, you're staying in his house. I just..." She breathes out. "I still love him you know." She admits quietly, as Chloe reaches a comforting hand out to her cousin. Giving her hand a quick reassuring squeeze.

"There's nothing going on. I promise." Chloe offers a tight smile in understanding. She understands Lois' love. She understands that apprehension, that pain. God... she was so acqainted with it.

Lois stares at her for a beat. "Chloe what happened?" The blonde moves to retract her hand, but Lois tightens her own hand around her cousin's. "Please tell me... what happened Chlo? She asks softly, slowly.

She's not ready for this. Chloe's not strong enough. Her body trembles as she desperately tries to restrain the emotions flooding her. Chloe shuts her eyes tightly, she can feel the tears building. She will not cry. She refuses to cry. God, why is this so hard? Unable to hold off the entire mounting army behind her lids, a few tears begin to fall. Chloe brushes them away swiftly with the back of her hand. She inhales a shaky breath.

Opening her glassy eyes, she looks at Lois' reassuring presence. Lois waits patiently for Chloe to collect herself, heart aching at seeing her little cousin's tears, but holds firm, refusing to interfere with Chloe's process. She notices that Chloe's free hands are fisted tightly, as if she is trying her hardest to hold on to something unseen. In automatic response, Lois smooths her hand over Chloe's, a silent offering of comfort.

Finally Chloe speaks slowly, "After everything that happened with Lana and Clark..." She chokes on his name, then clears her throat and tries again. "...Clark forgives her, and I can't right now."

"Neither can I... the bitch!" Lois mutters to herself.

"...So I decided to give Clark some space. He needs to work things out with her, I need to come to terms with that, and really get myself together you know." She breathes. Leaning back against the sofa, Chloe stairs up at the ceiling sightlessly. "You know how I feel about Clark... I don't want to feel this way anymore Lois." She admits. The grimace on her face reflecting the pain in her words. "I don't! I just... I want to continue being his best friend, but not like this you know." She licks her drying lips. "Anyway... we had a really bad fight yesterday!" She lowers her eyes to Lois, making sure she has her attention. "Really, _really bad _Lois. We said a lot of things... a _lot_." She pulls her hand from Lois' grasp, and rubs her eyes tiredly. "God, he was so angry! I've never seen him so angry." She draws her knees to her chest, circling her arms around them and sighs lowing her head to them, she faces her cousin. "Anyway, so that's what happened." she says with a shrug. Then adds, "It just hurt." Shutting her's eyes tightly. "It hurt like hell." Chloe inhales deeply and then turns her head back to the movie. But it doesn't matter anymore. Ricky holds no interest to her.

Lois swallows before opening her mouth to speak. "Can I ask you..." She begins hesitantly, watching Chloe as she continues to stare at the television listlessly. "... What did you expect from Clark exactly?"

"I'm not sure... " She frowns, and turns to look at her older cousin. " ...I guess I expected him to at least acknowledge what Lana did you know... I mean, he recognized what she did as wrong, but to him... it's like he really is blind to her. She's still this perfect pure angel, that's just... perfect, and it's like... Lana doesn't deserve to be held accountable... but she was wrong. And it just makes no difference." Chloe rolls her eyes, self-deprecatingly. "I know I must sound bitter... I don't know, maybe I am." She smiles ruefully. "Maybe love _is _actually blind." She chuckles mirthlessly, then grimaces, her eyes gloss over unfocused. When she speaks again, her tone reflects awareness... and a hint of resignation. "It's so daunting... I hold Clark in such high regard. And him just able to overlook what Lana did, even defend her... I don't know..." The blond's eyes focus back on her cousin with such overwhelming sadness, Lois has to look away. "...Did I ever really know him?" She finishes with a shake of her head. She really can't stand that she feels this way.

Chloe turns back to the television as Ricky Bobby begins his naked frenzied trek around the race track. "Can we just watch the movie..." She curls up laying once again on her side ending the conversation. "Will Ferrell always has the answers. Don't think!" She mumbles into the sofa cushions.

Lois continues to watch concerned as Chloe tries to lose herself in the movie. Chloe's miserable... she hates to see Chloe look so beaten. But what could she do?

--

"Have you found him?" Lana asks Kara as she enters through the screen door.

Lana's standing at the kitchen counter cutting up tomatoes for the Greek salad she's preparing. She looks up upon receiving no answer from the Kryptonian girl.

"Any luck?" She inquires again.

Kara shakes her head sadly. Clark's been missing for a day and a half now and she can't help but worry about him, considering his erratic behavior as of late. She comes to a stop at the counter across from Lana. Her eyes focused on the counter top but her hearing is searching the area.

Lana is becoming impatient. She too has been worried, but rests her assurance on the fact that Clark can take care of himself. It's Kara's lack of concern or regard for her... and her position in Clark's life that bothers her the most. Doesn't this child realize how much Lana cares. "Well, how far did you search? Did you only check Kansas? You know how far Clark can go..."

Kara looks up sharply at the tiny human. "I am aware Lana." She seethes in frustration. "I did a fly over scanning the entire US. As _you _know ... " She emphasizes. "... if Clark doesn't want to be found, he won't be."

Lana slams the knife down on the counter, clearly irritated. Enough is enough! Lana is the woman of the house now... Kara needs to remember that. Yet the Kryptonian only raises an amused and slightly inquisitive brow at her display of agitation. Eager to see the 'pet's' reaction. "Kara!" She snaps. "I have had enough! Clark is not here, I am his girlfriend... "

"For the time being." Kara smiles.

"I am his girlfriend!" Lana reiterates forcefully. "He's missing and only you have the means to find him. We have to work together here."

"You are mistaken." Kara responds shaking her head. "We do not have to work together. Yes, Kal is missing, but there is nothing that can be done at this time, until Kal-El requires our assistance. He obviously doesn't want it."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Kal will call if he needs help." Kara answers simply.

Lana picks up the knife and commences chopping, with much more force than necessary. Shaking her head in irritation at the naive girl. "He forgot his cell phone Kara." Lana reminds her. She just doesn't seem to get it, this is serious.

"I didn't mean you Lana." Kara replies flippantly. She crosses the kitchen island to the refrigerator, pulling out the milk. "When Kal calls, I'll hear him."

"Great!" Lana mutters. "Just great! What's next?" She asks herself.

Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, Kara proceeds to pour the milk and answers Lana's rhetorical annoyed question with detached ease, before bringing the glass to her lips. "Aunt Martha, will be here next week. If that's what you are inquiring."

Lana stiffens, her head shooting up toward Kara's direction. "What?" If the situation could get worse... it just did. Does Martha even know about all that has happened. Lana's heart skips a beat. She didn't need this right now. Especially with her and Clark trying to find their footing.

Kara looks directly at the shaken girl. "I called Aunt Martha. She had to rearrange her schedule, so the earliest she can come is next week. She'll call with the details." She finishes with a satisfied smile.

"Why'd you call Mrs. Kent? This is nothing we can't handle ourselves."

"Well, I figured Kal is her charge and she would probably like to know what's going on..." The blonde smirks mischievously . "Plus, Chloe told me to." Kara could hear the acceleration of Lana's heart beat... and found it to be quite amusing. Why would Martha's arrival be an issue? Or was it Chloe? Kara is definitely intrigued.

Lana glares at the Kryptonian, while trying to maintain a flacid composure "When did you talk to Chloe?" Lana definitely doesn't want her involved! And the hits just keep on coming. Didn't Chloe say, she wouldn't be a problem? Didn't she say her and Clark weren't speaking? Why would Kara go to Chloe?

"Yesterday, and she instructed me to call Aunt Martha, should anything happen to Kal." Kara nods, "Very useful advise." She reflects to herself.

"I'm his girlfriend Kara. Clark is with _me_!" Lana exclaims. Why would she go to Chloe?

"I'm aware of that. Yet Chloe is the more observant."

Lana gasps, reeling back as if slapped. "What do you mean by that?"

The blonde Kryptonian assess the smaller girl briefly. Placing the empty glass down gently, she leans against the counter as she regards Lana coolly. "Why do you think that Kal has run away?"

Lana lowers her head, her dark tresses hanging loosely in her face, and swallows. She knows why he's run. She and Clark are having a tough time, but they'll work it out. No matter what, Clark always came back to her. She begins, her voice low and morose. "We're having some problems right now... "

The sudden howl of laughter cuts off Lana's quiet explanation. She jerks her head up abruptly as Kara practically doubles over from laughter. Lana's eyes narrow to angry slits.

"I'm sorry." Kara's heaving, trying to calm from her mirth. "It is just.. You are so simple." She giggles. Kara takes a deep breath, but the smile still remains in place. "Like I said, Chloe is the more observant."

Lana is almost sputtering in anger. "So you go behind my back and call Mrs. Kent? For what?" How dare this _alien _laugh at her, call her simple and go behind _her _back!

"For Kal-El's best interest, I do not see why you would be against it." Kara replies, walking toward the stairs. She has had enough of this petty human girl. 'Surely, Kal can not be serious!' Kara thinks to herself as she ascends the stairs.

--

Feet propped up on the coffee table waiting for their toe-nails to dry; two tubs of Dove ice-cream, 'Give in Mint' for Lois and 'Caramel Pecan Perfection' for Chloe, the two cousins lounge back watching 'Old School' the second movie addition to their Will Ferrell day.

After another round of ferocious laughter, which included Chloe patting Lois on the back from choking on a mouth full of chocolate. "I never get to see this movie enough. Neither Clark or I own it and we never ever remember to rent it." Chloe says through a fit of giggles. Fleetingly she reflects, that she could think of him and say his name without choking up. This gives her hope. She can do this! She _will _do this! Chloe can now see a glimpse of a silver lining, and it's real, tangible. With this thought, a ghost of a smile creeps to her lips. She is by no means good, but she has hope.

Lois looks over at her, unaware of her cousin's musings, "Well it's a good thing you've got me then."

The blonde laughs and leans her head on Lois shoulder, "It sure is."

Leaning into each other, they both turn their giddy attention back to the television screen.

--

Lana's sitting in the living room, absently watching the evening news, when solid foot steps on the porch pulls her attention away. She rises swiftly from her position, just in time to see Clark unintentionally rip the screen door off it's hinges, when attempting to open it. She cringes in response.

"Damn it!" He mumbles, placing it down on the porch lightly. Making a mental note to pick up the supplies to fix that tomorrow, he enters the kitchen going straight to the refrigerator and pulls out the jug of orange juice.

"Clark?" Lana asks cautiously upon her approach, scrutinizing his haggard appearance. The mud on his clothes, the dried leaves in his hair. He looks like shit!

He turns to her and offers a faint distracted smile. "Oh hey Lana." He hadn't noticed her there. How long was she standing there? Damn, he's out of it. He brings the jug to his mouth and begins to guzzle down the beverage in one sitting. While Lana watches wide-eyed from across the kitchen.

Once he kills off the juice and tosses the container, he turns to Lana. "Did you cook?" He inquires eagerly. "I'm starving... I feel like I haven't eaten in days." And he hasn't, he doesn't even want to think of the last time he'd had a solid meal. But he does. It was back when _she _was still his friend. It doesn't matter. _The girl _doesn't matter. Damn _her! _He has everything he wants right her. Forget _her_! He's happy in his life damn it!

The tiny brunette nods slowly, still stunned by his care free display, which is in complete opposition to his gruff exterior.

"Great!" Clark smiles brightly. Too brightly. "I'm going to take a long hot shower, be back soon." And then he's gone. Lana can hear the bathroom door closing and shower turn on. She blinks. What the hell was that?

In the background the news anchorman's voice can be heard from the television:

"_And in international news. An unsubstantiated Tsunami ravaged an unchartered island off the coast of Cuba. Environmental scientists have declared it a natural mystery and determined that this occurrance could not have been caused by any seismic activity in the North Atlantic. Connie Sams reports from location. Connie?... A natural mystery indeed George." _

Unbeknownst to them both Kara, in her bedroom, had watched him from the moment he appeared in the drive-way. She'd studied his slow gait and his disheveled appearance. She'd even monitored his heart rate, and noted that nothing was out of the ordinary. Except that this isn't ordinary Kal, even his pert responses and chipper demeanor, are a clear contradiction to Kal's usual countenance. Kara files all of these pieces away. She'll solve this puzzle, and she has an idea that she already has, but promises to keep an alert watch. If she's right, Kal's going to have a tough time ahead. And she will definitely have her work cut out for her.


	22. CONFUSION Day 6

Song: Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield

* * *

t's been 5 hours and 36 minutes since Clark woke up. He lay flat and motionless on his bed, staring up at the familiar aged ceiling. His room! It's been his room for years. He did, momentarily entertain the idea of switching to his parents room when Lana moved in… it had occurred to him that the space was much larger, and the benefits of having it's own bathroom. But he dismissed the idea. That wasn't _his _room, _his _space. There was just something undeniably comforting about this room, these four walls. Something steady about it. While everything in his life changed, moved on or out… this bedroom remained solely his. The artifacts and objects inside may differ from when he was a child, but the space remained the same. He needs this consistency. Now more than ever, he needs the security his bedroom provides.

5 hours and 38 minutes. Clark's restless, he feels like he should be doing something, but has no idea what. All this energy crackling inside of him and yet he can't bring himself to move. He doesn't want to move. And he can't go back to sleep. He's tried, but dreams continuously plague him. Even when he's not dreaming, his mind circles, replaying the images left as remnants. And what sticks with him in the wakeful hours is the despair of Chloe walking away from him. Clark wants desperately to erase it from his mind. Even her words, their argument claws at him. If he'd had any doubt that their friendship was over, their last encounter is a definite indication of the end, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Clark gulps, his throat's dry, choking on his mortification. He can't believe how serious it became, how serious he became. He'd never spoken to anyone like that before let alone _her_. Clark 's chagrined at the thought that he was really willing to give in and forcefully make her stay with him. Even now the idea frightens him… and thrills him. 'What the hell is going on with me?' He wonders silently. Shutting his eyes tightly, remembering the fiery ferocious desire that overcame him from the inside. It was so foreign, so unlike him… so alien. Clark can still feel it, deep in the hollows. It's quieted now, but still there... waiting. He swallows hard at the notion. 'You are Kryptonian Kal-El' were Kara's words to him. So what? How does that explain this desperate hunger for Chl… that girl? He loves Lana, has loved and desired Lana since he was a child. He grits his teeth, Clark wants to scream out. None of this makes any sense!

5 hours and 43 minutes. He has to get up and do something. The more he lays here and thinks the more irritated he becomes. Chl… _THAT _girl, _she _doesn't matter anymore. He doubts their friendship can ever be repaired. Not that he wants to repair it. He doesn't need her. She made her choice and he made his. Yet even with this thought something sickening churns in his stomach. Clark swallows and fists his hands in the sheets around him. He needs to get a grip. Whatever this is inside of him, is under his control not the other way around. He doesn't want the blonde in his life, he doesn't need her damn it! He doesn't _want _her. _He's _incontrol.

He turns to look at the clock on the night stand. It's still early, but now is just as good a time as any to do his chores. He has a lot to make up for anyway. That's what he needs to do, get back on track. Rising to a sitting position, Clark throws his long legs onto the floor. He can't stay still anymore. He needs to do something, needs to focus. Shut out the insufferable thoughts and banish the loss and craving seeking to drown him from the inside, Clark forcibly resigns to put his mind on the important things in his life, starting with Chl… NO! Lana! An unbidden growl of frustration erupts from his chest. The farm, he reminds himself, Lana, Kara and his mom… in that order. The other girl doesn't exist anymore and he's been neglecting his responsibilities for far too long because of _her_.

Yet he can't shake the hopelessness. Detached and listless, Clark goes through the motions. Not caring to use his speed, he languorously completes his early morning chores. Surprised that the morning's light hadn't yet banished the darkness. Clark waits patiently, standing despondently at the loft window.. It's rare for him to catch the sun's ascension. And usually he enjoys it, but this day Clark's too far gone to notice or take pleasure in the day's awakening.

He'll miss her. Clark sighs to himself, having no wish to deny it. This is a fact he has comes to terms with. He will miss her greatly. She's been apart of his life for so long, of course it would be a fruitless effort to try to convince himself that her absence will have no affect, despite what he intoned to her. He knows a part of him depends on her friendship, and then there's still that alien inside of him that craves her nearness. Clark shuts his eyes, blindly hoping the darkness will somehow assuage the longing. He'll have to go on without her. And he will… he can. Whatever it is that this... _beast _thirst for in her, can be replaced with another. Clark's sure of it. In time, he'll be able to forget her.

As if ardently disputing his claim, her bright engaging smile illuminates the darkness behind his closed lids and her intoxicating scent fills his nostrils, overcoming his senses. Her loving heart beats sound and steady in his ears, her breath shallow and even in her sleep. And his stomach rumbles with renewed interest. Clark's eyes open abruptly realizing his betraying mind. Heaving, he breathes deeply and rapidly, he needs to forget her. God, why can't he forget her? He will in time, Clark assures himself, he knows it. Clinging to the faith that it will get easier and she will one day have no affect on him. She can be replaced in his life. She will be. After all, that girl is just a friend, and friends come and go like the seasons change.

Out of nowhere, Kara appears beside him at the window. He hadn't heard her approach, too absorbed in melancholy to react. Clark turns to her briefly when she silently hands him a mug of black coffee. Circling his long fingers gently around the cup, Clark stares intently into the black fluid swirls. They both say nothing for a moment. Kara stares out to the fields before her, waiting. She's not sure what for, but certain this is where she needs to be.

Clark's gaze focuses on the mugs contents. He's hesitant to accept her offering. A piece of him wanting so badly to consume the dark beverage, to make it apart of him but then for some inexplicable reason he also wishes to get rid of it, to destroy it completely. He sighs heavily, what does it all mean?

At last Clark speaks, his voice solemn and quiet. "It's difficult to start over, isn't it?"

_  
_Kara remains motionless, as his heavy voice disturbs the peaceful silence. She doesn't turn but addresses him quietly. "I have no choice."

He lifts his eyes to the fields beyond them, the morning sun casting a bronzed glow. "But it's still hard right? Starting over? Different customs, new views, new people and… friends?" He chokes at the last word.

Kara nods silently. She understands. She may not know how this relates to him, but she understands.

Clark turns to her, his green eyes pale with sorrow. "But it can't be easy. Right?" There is a plaintiveness to his words that grips her.

"Sometimes choices aren't easy Kal... " She explains. " ...but you and your friends have made the transition as smooth as it can be considering." She answers as diplomatically as possible, recognizing that his question is not directed to her, but still aware that he is not yet ready to reveal his meaning.

"You must miss your friends." His gaze drifts back toward the window.

"Everyday, but I am not without here." She smiles coyly. "I just siphon from you."

Clark's answering smile is dry and lifeless. His lack of response concerns her more than ever. She half expected him to grumble or roll his eyes at her jovial attempt.

"Lana's awake." She informs. Not caring much of the subject, but seeking to shake him out of his distance, this detachment that clings to him, and usually he seems to enjoy the subject of his pet.

His eyes never drift from it's far-off focus. His demeanor unchanged and his response perfunctory. "Yeah, she likes to go horseback riding on Sunday mornings."

"How quaint." Kara replies with immediate sharpness. She can't help it. Kara half wants to roll her eyes at herself and slap her hands over her mouth.

Clark glances at her briefly before returning his attention to the sun, "You don't like her much."

Kara found no need to respond. To her it's more a statement of fact than a question.

"Why?" He questions more out of a desire to know than care, and his own lack of interest on this subject saddens him. Clark _knows _heshould care.

"She cannot be trusted." She ripostes, automatic and without thought. To her, it is just that simple.

Clark frowns. He's knows to what Kara's referring, but she doesn't know Lana like he does. She hasn't grown up with Lana. "Humans make mistakes Kara." He says by way of explanation. He wants them to get along. Frankly, he needs them to. Kara and Lana are all he has, now. Ch... that girl's no longer around. He needs people that truly care about him.

"As do all who are not gods. But there are some things that can be considered 'mistakes' and others that can not be overlooked. This human is not trustworthy." A bit of the venom she feels for his pet slips out, soaked into her tone.

Clark shakes his head. "She's my girlfriend Kara… you need to respect her."

"Why?" she asks simply. "Is it not a human saying that 'respect is earned'? I've seen nothing that would show that she is worthy of my respect. Or worthy of being called an El."

"Lana's is my choice Kara. I love her." Damn it! Why wasn't she getting it. It would be so much easier if she just fell in line. This constant reminder is not helping. He can almost feel the _beast _awaking in protest, chanting in objection. Clark closes his eyes and tries to silence the alien within. He can control it!

Kara nods lightly oblivious to Clark's struggle. Whether she approves or not, she gets it. She just didn't understand it and says as much. "And to that I wonder why?"

"My parents spent years together. They made a lot of mistakes with each other. But they stuck it out, because they loved each other deeply." It's that simple to him. Why didn't she understand?

He's loved Lana for a long time and a love like that is real. She's it for him. There could be no else beside Chl... LANA! Clark blinks, stunned at the sudden slip, the _beast _rumbles. Lana! There's no one else, she's all that matters. Lana. Not _her_! Not her!

Kara sighs heavily, having no idea of her cousins internal battle. "Choosing your partner is your decision Kal-El. It is not my place to interfere with your choice. I have come to understand that on Earth, there are many differences to the way of things, in regards to love. But for me, there are Kryptonian customs and traditions that will not change and this is one. You can choose to be partnered with _that _human… " She spits out, disgusted at the mere thought, " …for as long as she lives. But you cannot deny your essence, nor who your soul seeks to be tied to. To do so is madness, but from what I have come to know here…" She smirks. " ...love can be madness." Kara turns from the window, this discussion ended. She has no desire to fight with her cousin. She's has seen that his stubbornness was one of legend. "I'll go start breakfast." She informs as she descends the stairs. Stupid Stupid boy! She muses silently. What will it take?

Clark exhales slowly once she disappears. Running a shaky hand through his already tousled hair. "This is crazy! What's happening to me?" His question echoes in the silent loft, drifting out toward the clear Kansas morning. He looks down at the mug nestled protectively in his hand, and without thought chucks it hard through the loft window. So fast the contents have no time to spill out, Clark watches as it disappears swiftly in the horizon.

--

Lois rolls over in bed, her hand immediately going to her aching head. "I think I'm going to be sick." She mumbles.

Chloe glances over at her cousin from her position at the window. She's been staring at the waking world for over 2 hours now, contemplating her next move. What to do? She can't stay in Smallville right now. The town isn't big enough for her and Clark to co-exist. It's just too hard. She has to leave, that's the only option.

Chloe offers a detached smirk in her cousin's direction, "Well no one told you to chase mint ice-cream with half a bottle of vodka."

The brunette moans, rubbing her hands over her eyes. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Removing her hands, she glares at her cousin, narrowing her eyes in reproach and confusion, "And who drank the other half? You had just as much to drink as I did... You seem fine." Lois accuses. Actually Chloe seemed better than fine.

Chloe shrugs, having no explanation. She feels OK.

"Is that because of... " Lois waves a heavy hand, searching for an appropriate word, " ...um...your... you know...change?"

Chloe's face falls in a contemplative frown. Could it be? If so, she really didn't want to talk about. Brushing aside Lois' suggestion, she forces a wry smile. "Maybe you're just a light weight!"

Lois shakes her head and groans immediately in regret, as her head disapproves of the abrupt movement and her vision blurs. "Nah..." She drawls. "No way cuz! It's you!" She throws her arm over her eyes, seeking to block out the sunlight.

"I guess it has it's advantages." Chloe says lowly. She really doesn't want to talk about this.

Lois doesn't address the sad note inflected in her cousin's tone, but she gets it. "Why don't you make yourself useful and brew some coffee."

"I can't!" Chloe ripostes. Her answer, immediate and held an urgency that Lois just can't overlook.

She peeks out from under her arm, eyeing her blonde cousin curiously. "You can't? Well why the hell _can't _you?"

Chloe grimaces, she doesn't know how to respond. How can she explain it to Lois, if she couldn't even explain it to herself. Finally she says plaintively, "I just can't OK." Bowing her head pitifully.

Lois swallows as she studies Chloe intently. She figures this has something to do with Smallville... the person, not the place, so she won't press the matter. Nevertheless, this bothers her. Chloe giving up coffee? It's unheard of. Coffee and Chloe are as synonymous as Chloe and the Daily Planet or Chloe and Clark or... OK Lois can kind of understand the thwarting of coffee. She sighs, then opens her mouth to say... What? What could she say really? Something comforting or assuring.

Chloe swiftly addresses the thoughts that had plagued her all morning, "I have to get out of _this_ town. I can't be here right now."

Lois drops her arm from her face abruptly, shaking the bed. She moans at the movement. Taking a deep breath to hopefully stay the nausea, then asks "Wha?"

Walking over to her severely hung over cousin Chloe sits down gently, not wanting to jostle Lois any further, "This is Clark's home Lois." She explains sadly. "And I really do need space from him right now."

Lois nods lightly looking up at her. Chloe really is strong, she thinks to herself. Then frowns, "Well what about me Chlo? I mean, I can't keep going to Oliver's pent house, it's... "

Chloe lays her hand on Lois's shoulder, halting her words. Lois didn't need to explain. "I understand... " She says quietly. " ...but we work together." Chloe attempts to smile for Lois. "We'll see each other everyday... and on weekends... " Trailing off, she shrugs lightly. "We'll think of something. I just... " The blonde shuts her eyes at the undeniable sadness creeping to the fore, she swallows, then returns her gaze to her cousin, her eyes pleading for Lois not to make this any harder. " ...I just can't right now."

The older cousin nods. She understands completely. Shit, it's just her luck that Oliver doesn't reside in Metropolis. "We'll think of something." She affirms lightly.

The smile that appears is more genuine. Chloe lays down beside Lois wrapping her arms around her. "You know you are the best cousin ever right?"

"Of course."

Chloe giggles into her shoulder. "You rock harder than Styx and a nacho fountain!"

Lois bursts out laughing at this and immediately regrets it. "Oh God!" She moans clapping a hand to her mouth. Lois pushes herself up from the bed and rushes to the bathroom to expel the gurgling contents of her stomach.

Chloe lays flat on her back staring up at the ceiling. At the sound of retching in the background, Chloe smiles. Yeah, Lois totally rocks.

--

"I'm going into town." Clark says. His mouth full of scrambled eggs. Thank God for Kara, who was around to answer the fourth call from Mr. Foster. The old man was just about ready to sell their order to the next customer. Clark makes a promise to himself to do better.

Lana frowns into her coffee, before placing it onto the table. "Why? It's Sunday. All of the shops on Main Street are pretty much closed."

Clark swallows. He can't really explain it. He just knows he needs to be there. It's calling him... loudly. But he can't exactly say that to Lana. She'll never understand. Hell, he didn't even understand. So he simply shrugs in response, heaping another fork-full of eggs into his mouth. When did Kara learn to cook like this? He glances over at his silent cousin. She seems so distant, as if her attention is riveted on something unseen. He wonders what she's listening to?

Lana sighs, "Clark... " She voices gently, but Clark can hear the reproach underneath. " ...you've been gone for two days. We've hardly spent anytime with each other." She pouts.

Clark nods, swallowing and shoveling another large portion of eggs into his mouth. She's right! He feels like he hasn't really seen Lana at all, but what can he say... he has to go into town. He just has to, this isn't up for discussion. It's just the way it's going to be. He sighs, again he can't exactly tell her that.

The tiny brunette rolls her eyes at his lack of response. "Clark, we still need to talk you know." She reminds him. That too, Clark realizes isn't up for discussion. God, he's dreading that _talk_. Either way, it isn't going to happen right now. He's going to Main Street.

Placing his fork down gently, Clark rises from his chair and grabs his empty plate. "We'll talk Lana... I promise." He moves toward the sink and places the plate and silverware inside. "After I come back... we'll spend the whole day together." He hopes this will appease her, but either way... he shrugs internally.

Lana rises, motioning toward him, hoping to dissuade his actions, but Clark disappears before she even takes a step. She blinks. Huffing in annoyance and irritation when Kara's amused giggles sounds out in the quiet space. Lana scowls all the way up the stairs and into the bathroom. These damn _aliens_!

--

Chloe stands at the door, surveying the Talon apartment. She mentally checks off the supplies and clothes she's already packed. It's not everything and she's not really moving into the Clock Tower, but she really doesn't want to forget anything important. Something is nagging at her though, something she can't quite put a...

"Lois. Where's my other laptop?"

Lois emerges from the bedroom area, holding up Mr. Bearnstein, Chloe's grey and white teddy bear. "You forgot this."

Chloe swallows, she really didn't forget Mr. Bearnstein. She intentionally left him, she doesn't need the constant reminder he provides. Clark won the bear for her at the state fair a few years ago and since then she hasn't slept a day without him... well until recently that is. The last thing she needs is the comfort he gives her. No! Bearnstein stays here, along with the rest of her memories.

"Um no I didn't." Chloe finally responds glumly.

Lois merely shrugs and unceremoniously tosses the bear back onto the bed, ignorant of the significance of the plush toy.

"Where's my back-up laptop?" Chloe inquires again.

"Oh um...I lent it to Kara." Lois replies hesitantly, avoiding Chloe's eyes.

"What!" The blonde shouts. She didn't... Lois couldn't! Damn it! She almost stomps her foot in indignation. "Lois..." She whines. How the hell is she supposed to get it back? Chloe doesn't even want to think of all the personal... yet password protected documents and pictures on that laptop. She unconsciously flushes pink in embarrassment. God, what if they happen to open them, she'll be mortified.

"I'm sorry." Lois intones full of remorse. "I didn't know you and Smallville... " She trails off, then continues in another direction. "Kara came over and asked if they could borrow it... something about theirs crashing or something... I didn't know Chlo."

Chloe sighs, letting her cousin off the hook. "It's OK." She shakes her head ruefully. Then points a threatening finger at Lois, glaring intensely, "But you are getting it back!"

Lois acquiesces immediately with a forceful nod.

Chloe rolls her eyes. "Well if that's it..." Glancing down at her three bags. "I think I've got everything for now."

Lois looks dubiously at the three duffles. "Just three?"

The blonde waves her hand dismissively, "I'm not moving in." She shrugs on a light jacket. "This will hold me until later."

Lois grabs two bags and exits the apartment, heading to Chloe's car, while Chloe stands back re-checking to make sure she has all the important items.

Slinging her satchel bag over her shoulders, she picks up the last bag and exits the apartment. Once outside the Talon, she comes to an abrupt stop. Her breath hitching at the appearance of the exact person she is seeking to avoid. Clark.

_**Who doesn't long for someone to hold**_

Staring at him, her heart begins to pound wildly in her chest. She grips the strap on her bag tightly. Her breath is labored as she tries to come up with some response. God, this is not happening. Not now! She wants to scream.

_**Who knows how to love you without being told**_

She wants to smile with relief at the sight of him. Geez, she wants to run to him and hug him to her tightly. She want's to slap him!

_**Somebody tell me why I'm on my own**_

Unfortunately, Clark isn't fairing any better than she is. He knows now why he felt the desperate urgency to come here. Chloe. Chloe! CHLOE! The _beast _chants... it's awake, and calling for her. Her fast heart beat, encouraging it further. He eyes her steadily, intensely... almost ferally. And swallows hard, as his heart beat thumps maddeningly in his chest seeking to match her rhythm.

_**If there's a soulmate for everyone**_

He can't breath. The air around him is permeated with her scent. It's all around him. She's all around him. Clark wants so desperately to go to her. They're only a few feet away from each other. His long legs would reach her in two easy strides. He wants to grab her and hug her so badly. To hold her to him tightly. God, he so desperately wants to feel her in his arms. The physical craving rendering him weak.

Standing near, Lois watches them both curiously. She can almost see the electricity crackling around them. She takes a step back, the energy so intense and tangible between them is staggering. She needs to do something. Her eyes move from Clark to Chloe and back again. Taking a deep breath, mustering all of the Lane courage inside of her, she decides to enter the fray.

_**Most relationships seem so transitory**_

_**They're all good but not the permanent one**_

Lois steps forward, her hand gently clasping Chloe's, holding the duffle bag. "Chloe?" She whispers.

Chloe blinks, the trance broken, she turns toward Lois' voice in confusion. The brunette jostles the hand holding the bag, attempting to remind her cousin of their task.

_**Who doesn't long for someone to hold**_

Clark watches the two girls closely, only now seeing the travel bag in Chloe's hand. The _beast _growlsinside of him. He shuts his eyes abruptly, seeking to still the possessive, enraged alien within.

_**Who knows how to love you without being told**_

The brunette cousin relieves Chloe of the bag and pulls lightly on Chloe's hand, gesturing for her to follow to the car.

_**Somebody tell me why I'm on my own**_

The big Kryptonian, almost reaches out his arm to halt Chloe's distance, but instead fists his hand tightly at his sides. His breathing coming fast and labored in his effort for control. What is Lois doing? Why is she taking his Chloe from him? He needs to do something. He just can't let her go... this can't be it. No! The _beast _howls in raving protest.

_**If there's a soulmate for everyone**_

Clark takes an unconscious threatening step toward them. His eyes never leaving it's target. The golden hair a beacon in this raging storm, but then he stops. He _can _control it!

_**Who doesn't long for someone to hold**_

Chloe watches his silent struggle. She can feel it. She can relate to it. Wanting to go to him so badly. Something inside of her desperately pleading for control. Craving the security of his strong arms. Thirsting for his masculine scent. Something inside wants to just give up and let him have her... to take him in anyway he will allow. But she can't! She won't! She begins to tremble with the effort of restraint, clenching her hands at her sides, so as not to reach for him. Why is this so hard?

_**Who knows how to love you without being told**_

Their eyes lock for what seems like an eternity. Clark's darkened gaze is crying out to her, begging Chloe for reprieve from this confusing torture. He understands she's only going to Metropolis, but he can't reconcile to the emotional separation. He won't. This is wrong. The _beast _won't hear of it... and neither will he. There has to be something... but he can read the sadness in her sea-green stare. The tumultuous waters, drowning him in despair. Chloe's eyes are pleading, beseeching him to let her go. Just let her go. How can he, when even the thought makes him want to die inside? The _beast _howls loudly again at the notion. Clark closes his eyes in response, unintentionally breaking the connection. He inhales sharply, upon opening his eyes, his breath almost choking him, when he sees Chloe walking away from him.

_**Somebody tell me why I'm on my own**_

Standing impotently outside of the Talon, all of the dreams coming to fruition. God, he can feel the helpless sob threatening to erupt. His muscles shake violently, the alien inside restless and crying out in ardent despair. Clark watches as his Chloe hugs Lois tightly then enters her car. He swallows, grimacing at the sudden pain, she doesn't look back at him. He hadn't known it would hurt this badly. Why does it hurt this much? Chloe drives off without even a backward glance. Her heart beat still pounding in his head, her rapid breathing only inflicting more inexplicable torture.

_**If there's a soulmate for everyone**_

Clark stands motionless, watching in dismay and powerlessness as Chloe's car recedes from his view. He could have continued watching her until she made it to Metropolis. Part of him wants to... but knows it's futile. That would do nothing but...

Lois slowly walks up to him. Clark glances toward her briefly before returning his gaze back to the invisible trail of Chloe's car. He'd completely forgotten she was there. God, did she see all of that?

Lois studies Clark silently for a moment. Seeing the dejected set of his posture, the barely held trembling in his body, the unguarded sadness in his eyes and his heavy breathing. She realizes that this is just as hard for him as it is on her little cousin. She sighs taking pity on the pathetic hick, and holds back her biting words. Walking past Clark without even a word, she enters the Talon leaving the broken man alone... for now.

Clark stands still for a long moment, his eyes trained on the vacant road. What does he do now? The intense desire to be here now abates. Where does he go from here? He turns his head slowly toward the direction of the farm. Home? The farm hasn't felt like home since his mom left, but it's the only place he has left to go. Home... just left him. So he'll have to find another.

_**If there's a soulmate for everyone**_

Clark speeds toward the farm. He looks around in hopelessness as he enters the back door. Sitting in the living room in front of the fireplace reading a book, obviously waiting for him, Lana catches his roaming eye. She smiles demurely upon seeing him and Clark musters a light resigned smile in return.

_**If there's a soulmate for everyone**_


	23. SUBSTITUTION One

Author's Note: Substitution is the second part of this story.

* * *

Clark is drowning, desperate for something sturdy to hold onto, anything to buoy him, keep him afloat while he gathers the tattered remains of himself. Upon returning to the farm, after watching powerless and mute as a huge chunk of his life had been ripped from him, no longer within reach, and skewed his very existence, when Lana beckoned him to join her on the sofa, a simple task, one that required that he merely sit, not demanding, Clark doesn't have the desire nor the strength to resist.

Now resting almost lifeless, completely withdrawn and dejected, staring sightlessly into the dead fireplace, Clark is uncertain, wavering upon the precipice of depression. While Lana is curled up silently reading her novel at his side, oblivious to his inner turmoil, Clark makes a silent vow that next time he'll do better.

He has to. He has no choice. The one thing he'd relied on, the only consistency he'd known is gone. Just like everything else in his life... _she'd_ left him. And he hadn't been prepared, he had to let her go. But he'll do better, hold on tighter… move on. He refuses to let that girl rule him. She's no longer a factor.

Sitting unmoved, eyes trained on the dark fireplace, Clark tenses his jaw locking in his determination. He will go on. She'd made her choice. After seven almost eight years of friendship, she wanted out and he let her go. They both chose and now he'll move forward without her. Arms out stretched on the back of the sofa, Clark clenches his fists tight. He'll show her. Shit, he doesn't need her! His life will continue just fine without her.

Lana squirms in her position against his side, trying to get comfortable against Clark's solid and now rigid form. He's unaffected by Lana's agitated movements, her presence unnoticed.

"Clark?" Lana inquires, seeing the hard angular lines of his face.

Without thought he voices quietly, "She left!" In almost a growl.

Lana sits up and turns to face him, her eyes wide with confusion. "What?"

Solid as a statue, eyes piercing yet unseeing the hollow fireplace, Clark is unresponsive to Lana's voice. Distantly, he knows someone's trying to gain his attention. But he's too lost, buried too deep in his task of building walls. Creating a fortress, caging the alien beast, so that next time, he can prevent this, he _will _keep his promise to do better. Next time this won't happen. Next time _she_ won't get an opportunity to leave him. Next time, he'll be stronger. Next time... there won't be a next time. Clark grips the top of the sofa in his large hand, unintentionally shattering the frame underneath his hold.

Shocked, Lana scurries back away from him. "Clark!" She calls out louder as her heart pounds in her chest.

He blinks, turning his head toward the voice so swiftly he blurs "Huh?" Aware now of his destructive grip around the top of the sofa, Clark loosens his hold and rubs his hand over the broken frame soothingly, as if it will mend the damage. If only his life could be mended with a gentle stroke of a hand.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The tiny girl shouts.

Clark's eyes widen, wounded by her tone, he shakes his head wordlessly. Opening, closing, his mouth moves, but he is unsure of what to say or how to explain. Damn it! What can he say? He lowers his head, abashed and horrified he pulls his arms to him, cupping his hands in his lap. God, he could have hurt her. If he had been holding Lana... that could have been her bone. He shakes his head. He has got to do better. Lana's right, he thinks, what the hell is wrong with me? "I'm sorry. I... " Clark begins quietly. " ...I have a lot on my mind. I'm sorry." He can't look at her. He can't handle the fear, he's sure is reflected in her eyes. He won't lose Lana too. God, he has to do so much better than this.

Placing the book down on the coffee table, Lana studies him with uncertainty for a moment before she scoots closer to him, but remains cautious. She raises her hand hesitantly to his arm, rubbing gently. "It's OK Clark." She moves in closer still. "Is it something you want to talk about?"

He shakes his head slowly, eyes boring into his solid hands. Hands that could shatter bone and rip steel.

Lana hugs him affectionately, seeing the despondency. She didn't mean to make him feel bad, but what did he expect, he'd just frightened her. "Are you sure?" She asks, ignoring her own fear.

Clark lifts his head slowly to gaze at her, his green eyes sorrowful. "I'm sure." He'll do better, Clark reminds himself. He can't lose another person.

Lana smiles softly, "I know what will make you feel better." She prompts, rising from the sofa. "Let's go riding."

Clark cranes his neck to look up at her, his eyebrows crinkle quizzically. "I thought you already went riding." He doesn't really want to move. He just wants to go to his loft and seriously think and meditate on his life, the loss he's feeling and focus on constructing the necessary preventative measures... Damn it! He just wants to mope, but, he sighs to himself, Lana seems so excited about the idea so he concedes.

Grabbing his hand to pull him up. "No. I was waiting for you." She turns away from him once he's standing assured he will follow, he always follows and starts toward the back door. "Oh, by the way, did you find what you were looking for in town." She asks lightly, not even glancing toward him. She misses the stiffening of his posture at the reminder and the clenching of his fists.

"No." Clark intones, is voice hard and shielded as he walks toward the door. He'd found something in town, but it definitely wasn't what he was looking for. But it doesn't matter now. _She _doesn't matter. He has to redirect his focus, place his attention on something unmoving and secure. Starting with Lana. He really doesn't want to go horseback riding, but Lana loves it... and he can't lose her. He has to make things right, do better. For himself and for her. And this is just the beginning. Lana is who is important. Not _her_!

--

They ride silently through the acres of Kent land, reaching to the borders of Crater Lake. This is nice, Clark muses silently, it's... pleasant. Hard to believe that it was only last Sunday that they did the very same thing, just a week, when everything was as it should have been. It seems like a life time ago, but it had onlybeen a week since lightening struck straight through the core of his life, devastating his foundation. Clark shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the dismal thoughts. Not now. This is for Lana. Focus on her. His relationship with her is what's important now.

Coming onto the horse path leading to the lake, they dismount, tying the reigns to a sturdy tree. Lana and Clark walk toward the illuminated waters. The sun rests high in the sky, bouncing a bright reflection off of the still surface. They sit side by side quietly taking in the peaceful atmosphere, yet Clark remains unsettled. Even sitting directly under the sun, the source of his infinite strength, Clark feels weak, listless. Wishing everything would go back to the way it had been before this never ending, unrelenting storm upturned his life.

Clark's eyes are inadvertently drawn to a location across the lake, remembering the last time he came to Crater Lake. On the opposite side of the waters, there's a hidden alcove, _their _secret place. He remembers when they found it, that girl and him, back when they were in high school. Since that time, it had become their haven, the place they would go to hide from the world. Clark steadies his eyes on it's direction. His vision zooming in on the tiny concealed inlet, surveying the undisturbed area.

The last time he was there, had been with _her_ a little before Lana returned. He can recall that day well, as if it were yesterday. He and Chl… _her_, they were both grieving over Lana's 'death'. But there was more. Clark had felt the distance in her, he'd known she was drifting away from him because of her meteor infection. And he hated it. She wouldn't speak about it, wouldn't share her internal struggle. So in a desperate moment to draw her out of her silent agony, Clark came up with the idea of going to their secret place, of course under the guise of needing her company. Maybe they could grieve together, lean on each other, and possibly she would open up to him. He remembers it vividly.

The sun had been just as high as it is today, but instead of bouncing off of the lake, the light seemed to gravitate toward her. Alighting her in a brilliant glow. Clark smiled slightly in his rumination, she looked ethereal… almost angelic, unearthly. When she'd looked up at him, it was as if all the air had been sucked from his body, he couldn't breathe. He was helpless. Gone and enslaved by her. He remembers her eyes, a sparkling jade in it's intensity. Clark was pulled in... willingly. Her eyes were so open to him, revealing everything usually hidden in their depths... in her soul, and in his. In that one moment, Clark could really see himself in her opulent stare. He could see her, and she was brilliant, she was light and truth. He found himself so overcome, he was humbled by her beauty.

There was nothing that was concealed. He saw in her all that he was capable of, all that they both could become. It was a perfect moment. A moment where the earth stood frozen holding it's breath and nothing existed but them, and all of the endless possibilities. So close… they stood so close to each other, breathing the other in. Clark recalls feeling an unfamiliar stirring deep in the hollows he'd never known existed in him. It was almost like a hum vibrating from the pit of his stomach, spreading out through him as they drew closer, the distance melting away between them. It was a sensation he'd never felt before, yet oddly enough, unlike with anything new that came to him, this feeling didn't scare him in the least... it exhilarated him. He'd desired so badly to give in to it. They were so close, a mere breath away from closing the metaphorical distance that stood between their friendship and something else… something more, something imminent and perfect.

But then she blinked, and Clark could literally see the walls erected in her eyes. She took a step away from him, forcefully thrusting him back into their reality and the world began again.

That hum, the stirring inside of him, he ponders silently, the very _beast _relentlessly gnawing from the inside now? Is that the cause of his torture? God, he hoped not! This, this thing is hard to control, and he has got to control it. He can't give in, he won't!

Nevertheless he remembers it, the dawn of his craving, the inexplicable emotions churned in him, and the doubts it brought to the fore. That moment still sticks with him. Her gaze still haunts him, only now added with the sorrow reflected in them from today. He'll remember that too. He'll never forget the finality, shown in her eyes. The desolate plea in her usual vibrant stare. Clark shuts his own eyes tightly in response. He doesn't want to go back there. He refuses to give it anymore power. He has got to do better. Clark chides silently. He's got to focus on…

Lana hugs his arm at his left side. "It's such a perfect day." She whispers softly. Head up-turned toward the sky. A serene smile gracing her lips.

"Yeah." He ripostes distantly. A perfect day. His mind unconsciously conjures up anew, that moment in _their _hidden alcove. _That_ had been a perfect day... almost perfect at least.

The tiny brunette turns to look at him, unaware of the direction of his thoughts. "You know I love you Clark. Right?"

He looks down at her, pulled from the flawless memory. Clark searches her hazel eyes, studies her delicate features before he responds. "Yeah." He musters a smile for her. "I've loved you from the first time I saw you Lana." He says quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace surrounding them, not wanting to awaken the now _caged _beast inside of him. It's true. He's loved her for a long time, no seemingly perfect moment between him and another will erase that. That's what he'll hold on to. His love for Lana will keep him suspended above the despair. Clark moves his arm from out of her grasp and circles them around her shoulders, drawing her closer, tucking Lana under his arm. This is what he needs.

"Clark... " She begins softly, sensing the need for vocal quiet. "…we're together now. We can get through anything, as long as we're together."

His response is a chaste kiss on her forehead, before he returns his gaze across the silent waters.

--

Night-time came upon them swiftly, in their preoccupation with each other. Though there were an infinite number of times, Clark found his mind drifting away from the present. Seeking something now out of his reach. Over and over he had to silence his longing, push away his thoughts, and swallow his agony. Forcibly he would turn his eyes on Lana, attune his hearing to her heart beat. Watch her mouth as she spoke, certain that if he could just focus on her speaking, his mind wouldn't search for something in the distance. Wouldn't seek to find over the vast miles and attach his preternatural senses to the presence he's grown so accustomed to. The heart that always comforted him.

It had been when he took time away from Lana that afternoon to get a head start on his work, alone in the fields that his efforts proved futile. He became aware, that his mind was easy to distract, traveling far from him, his perception locked and submerged somewhere in Metropolis. He couldn't escape her. And the biggest problem was that he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. But he must, so at those times, Clark would intentionally gravitate toward Lana and begin the readjustment process again.

Exhausted both emotionally and physically from his diversionary efforts, Clark slowly crawls into bed. Lana lay motionless by his side, having already succumbed to the depths of sleep hours ago. She was always asleep too early for his taste, Clark had gotten so used to the all nighters with Chl... his former friend, that even when they weren't together, it was challenging for Clark to find sleep before 1 or even 2 am. And usually this was fine, Clark's alien body didn't need much rest to sustain, but tonight, he suspects, won't be a problem. He is thoroughly drained, completely spent from mental exertion and physical labor.

He turns to look at his bedfellow as he lay on his back. His eyes tracing the elegant plains of her face, surveying her soft exotic features. Clark sighs to himself, she really is beautiful. He'll do better by her. Turning his head toward the ceiling, Clark shut his eyes, hoping to follow Lana into the peaceful oblivion.

--

The lights from the many desks lamps, dimly lit the basement of the Daily Planet as Clark descends the stairs. The floor is quiet, many of the workers and interns having left for the evening, save for a handful of stragglers. The basement had a different air at night, a complete mirror opposite from the commotion and tumult it was during the day. But all of this was pointless, unimportant. Glad for the lack of delay and obstacle in his path, Clark strides easily to his target.

Absorbed, and completely focused on putting the finishing touches on her article, Chloe hadn't noticed Clark's approach until he's right upon her, placing a container of the Talon's best on her desk. Her head snaps up in shock at the invasion of her work space. Chloe smiles brightly at the large intruder.

That smile, Clark thinks, his heart hammering loudly in his chest. Not able to control the reciprocating wide easy smile that forms on his face.

Chloe reaches for the cup still held underneath his hand, their fingers touch lightly sending a jolt of fire through his arm, before she retracts her hand, taking the cup with it. Clark frowns slightly at the loss of contact. As insignificant as it is, something in him craves more. More heat. More Chloe!

"Thank God Clark." Chloe says enthusiastically. She's almost bouncing in her chair, when she takes her first sip. Swallowing she adds, "I'm getting the shakes here, from withdrawal. I was ten seconds away from gurgling down the sludge they try to pawn off as coffee." Rising from her seat, she swiftly closes the distance between them, circling her arms around his waist she hugs him. and immediately the warmth spreads through him, awakening every nerve in his body. Clark almost whimpers at the affect, enfolding his arms around her, he buries his face in her neck, breathing her in deeply. _Home._

"Glad to be of service." He whispers into her skin. Hands gliding smoothly over her back.

Chloe pulls back slightly to face him, her own hands gripping his arms. "But you're late farm boy, and I know about the turbo on the Kent Express, did you have to stop for a bathroom break or pull in at every station for all the damsels in distress? I've been waiting here for almost 45 minutes."

"Trust me, a Sullivan with no coffee, is distress enough for me." Clark smirks. "I did have other things to do Chlo. I'm sorry, but my life doesn't revolve around intrepid reporters and their caffeine addictions." He says, hands dropping to her hips.

The blonde smiles saucily, "Oh how wrong you are my poor misguided traveling friend." She places her hand daintily on her chest. "I am the sun, of which you orbit." She winks.

Clark returns a wide grin. Yeah, you are. He sighs to himself. But says instead, "Oh, I guess I was mistaken." Rolling his eyes in jest.

Chloe pats his solid chest playfully, "You so are. But it wouldn't be the first time. I think I'll still keep you."

Even through his t-shirt his skin feels seared by the touch of her hand, he's branded. Clark covers up his involuntary groan by clearing his throat. "Wow thanks." He grouses

She leans up, whispering teasingly in his ear. "Let's get out of here."

He's reluctant to let her go, he doesn't want to lose the contact and the warmth she creates in him. But right now, he belongs to her. He'd do anything she asks.

"Where to?" He loosens his grip slightly. Refusing to distance himself from her physically. He needs her nearness.

Her forehead scrunches and she bites her lip in thought. Clark stares mesmerized. She has the cutest expressions. He can't help but to gaze, slightly open mouthed, at her swollen bottom lip as she begins to speak. Her lips look soft, Clark muses, if he could just...

She swats at his arm lightly to gain his attention. "Clark!" She giggles. Her laugh is so free. So lively. If nothing else, he can listen to her laugh for the rest of his life. If only...

"Huh?" He raises his eyes to meet her emerald gaze, sparkling brightly in the dim lighting.

"Where ever you want to go Clark, I'm there with you." She says levelly. A small delicate smile punctuating her statement.

Clark nods, as he sweeps her up in his arms and speeds away. He knows where to go. The only place that belongs solely to them. Their place...

Once they arrive, he reluctantly releases her from his hold, setting her down gently on her feet, Clark keeps his hands on her lower back, convincing himself it's to steady her until she can find her legs. But he can't seem to muster the strength to break the physical contact. Finally she takes a step away from him, much to Clark's dismay.

"Don't leave me!" Spills from his mouth without any conscious effort.

Turning toward her friend, she lays her hand gently on his cheek. "I won't Clark. Where ever you go, I'm with you." She rubs his cheek lightly. Clark shuts his eyes at the soft feel. It's so perfect he almost wants to cry. Then suddenly her arms are around him again. Cradling him, securing and anchoring him. "I won't leave you Clark." She breathes out in assurance. And he believes her. Every word from her enticing lips is a treasured truth. A law he builds his foundation on.

Clark embraces her back, holding her to him tightly, reveling in the warmth and safety of her arms. She can't leave him, because he'll never let her go. Chloe runs her hands down his back soothingly and Clark noticeably shivers at the touch. His arms tighten around her further in response, needing to bring her closer. Wanting to merge, fitting Chloe perfectly to him. This is what he needs. To feel her, to be close to her. The _beast _inside of him purrs in gratification as the heat continues to spread. It's almost sated. This, Clark muses, this is what perfection feels like.

Clark smiles into her neck. God, this is more than perfect. It's right! "I'll never leave you either." He voices huskily.

Chloe pulls back from his enfold slightly, and peers up at him. Her green gaze piercing in the moonlight. "Yes you will." She says firm and resolute.

Clark's eyes widen in panic at her words, "What?" And his hold on her hips tighten possessively. While the _beast _growls in protest.

She rubs his arms soothingly, somehow understanding his alarm and nodding she states quietly. "You will Clark." She ignores his adamant denial as he shakes his head vehemently. "Because you're not ready." She states emphatically. Then adds with an impish grin, "But it's OK." Chloe assures. "It's fine. I will be here, if you promise to come back tomorrow."

"Of course." His answer is automatic. Of course he'll come back to her. Why would he even leave in the first place. Despite what Chloe says. It's unfathomable. He never wants to leave her.

With his promise her grin widens into a broad heart stopping smile. Chloe shifts smoothly out of his arms, clasping his hand, she pulls him over to the log they usually rest on in their visits and brings him down to sit beside her. Hugging his right arm, they relax, resting upon each other. Taking in the other's presence and basking in it. They both gaze upon the steady surface of Crater Lake. The three-quarter moon illuminating the night's sky and casting a silver glow over the waters.

Clark turns his head to gaze upon Chloe as she rests her head on his arm, eyes still trained on the lake. He loves this. He can always just sit with her for hours. Clark doesn't even want to imagine his life without her. This... this is right! Moving his arm from beneath her, Clark brings it around her shoulders, pulling Chloe toward him. He places a slow lingering kiss on her forehead, the heat of her skin marking his lips, he sighs. This is perfect. The way it should be.

"We can get through anything, as long as we're together Clark." Her voice is small and quiet in the silence as she nestles herself further into him.

Clark smiles easy. "Yeah." He tightens his hold, drawing her closer. Molding her slight body to his. "We can. Together Chloe. Always together." He finishes, laying his head on top of hers. Happy and at home, Clark closes his eyes just enjoying the moment. In their hidden alcove, nothing exists but them.

--

In the quiet still bedroom, a tiny smile settles on the lips of the unconscious alien, as he turns on his side away from his girlfriend and burrows comfortably deeper under the covers.


	24. Substitution Two

**Substitution Two - (Day 8)**

Routines. A farmers days are ruled and constructed by routines. Even when he was younger, before and after the great reveal, Clark's entire life was measured and fit into an exact system. He would rise with the sun to do his morning chores, milking cows, setting the animals to pasture and cleaning stalls. Once done it was off to school, where he would shuffle back and forth to classes until he returned home to help his father in the fields. At times he would accompany his parents to make deliveries, pick up supplies and even meet with their vendors. In his leisure time, Clark either hung out with Pete, played basketball, watched movies or went to the Talon to watch and moon over Lana from afar as she worked and then, then there was always Chloe. Clark can admit that most of his down time was spent hanging out or around Chloe, at the Torch, at her house or his, even at the Talon while he obsessed over the girl of his dreams, Chloe was right by his side. They uncovered truth together, saved Smallville from the kryptonite affected together or he just chased after her on some wild escapade for a story. Still, it all fit into his daily routine.

As an adult his life hadn't varied much from the regimen of his youth. Instead of school and helping his father in the fields, Clark maintained the farm alone. Handled the orders and deliveries, met with the vendors and kept the supply runs up solely by himself. In place of hanging with Pete, they shared the seldom email or phone call. Instead of watching Lana from afar, they enjoyed a live-in relationship, and instead of the Torch and wild escapades in Smallville with Chloe, Clark met her at the Daily Planet and followed her on her wild escapades that reached into Metropolis.

But as of two days ago... eight days if Clark was honest, the Chloe interludes had come to a startling halt. He'll no longer spend his morning down time with Chloe and coffee, or his lunch break catering her meals and he will have to do without the afternoon pick-me-up visits. Or the evening phone calls and their banter over late night TV. Though her absence will shatter the steady formation of his life, Clark is adamant to pick up the pieces, maintain the structure and move on. Just like with growing up, changes will have to be made but Clark is resigned and confident in his functioning routine, he'll just have to fit a different piece into his life's construct.

Clark's fairly certain, this will be a simple task. Inconvenient? Yes. He's gotten used to the familiarity of his daily cycle. He's not at all ashamed to admit, outside of the occasional krypto-mutant or megalomaniacal bald billionaires and genocidal intergalactic invaders or evil rouge super computers and even a dysfunctional paternal A. I., Clark's life is pretty mundane. Easily replicated.

Peering out of the loft window, Clark scowls in agitation. Who the hell is he kidding! He's pissed. He hates this change, this inconsistency in his already established, measured routine. He hates that he has to figure out his next move. Shit, he likes his life to be unremarkably predictable. Despite what he refutes to _the girl's_ former ribbing. He appreciates the order and control his life has been maintained with. But that's no more. _This blonde irritant_ has created an impossible situation for him, she's taken his routine and crushed it, decimated it at her own whim, and God help him he's livid. Leaning against the wall of his loft, Clark crosses his arms over his massive chest, his knuckles white from his tightened fist.

It is this predictability, his repetition that he depends on and _she_ had the nerve to walk away from him and turn his entire life upside down without even consulting him! Fuck her! If she thinks she can just screw his life over, come in and out as she pleases, that blonde bi... _she's_ sorely mistaken. He doesn't need her. She's nothing! She needs him damn it! Who the hell is she going to call when her life needs saving, huh? Who's going to help her when she's buried alive or thrown from a bridge or the top floor of the Daily Planet or... A loud uncontrollable growl escapes from his lips. The beast roars in protective rage from the caverns within. Clark shuts his eyes, his nostrils flaring with his deep steading breaths. He'll save her. And God help whoever dares to touch her! He'll be there. He'll always be there. Clark opens his eyes slowly, revealing his internal frustration in the sharp orange glow in his gaze.

He steps away from the window, moving toward the ratty sofa and slumps down onto it. He glances at the cups sitting undisturbed on the steamer trunk, before he lowers his head to his hands. He can move forward within the confines of a routine, he'll just have to build another one, substitute the time spent with _her_ with... something else, something different. He's not certain with what yet, but he has no choice. He can do this! He WILL do it.

The sound of hesitant footsteps interrupt his intense musings, Clark perks his ears, and listens to the strong rhythm of the intruders heart.

He groans with recognition, "What do you want Kara?" Clark mumbles from his hands.

Kara's steps falter at his voice, ashamed to have been caught observing. She figures it is only right that the day he decides to become more alert, she would be overtly spying on him. He hasn't been the least bit attentive in the last two days, his mind always drifting, what can she say, she's highly distressed by his ambivalent behavior.

Kara sighs in defeat, relinquishing the pretense, having been found out, it's idiocy to continue her stealthy gait, she blurs up the steps of the loft. When she arrives, Clark is hunched over on the sofa, holding his head in both his massive hands, showing no sign of having even spoken, or awareness of her presence. As big a guy as he is, at this moment he looks so small and fragile to Kara, her heart aches for him. She glances at the makeshift coffee table noticing the three untouched containers of Talon's coffee, then returns her perplexed gaze back to her baby cousin.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Kara begins, "You can't stay up here and hide Kal."

Clark's large hands slowly slide down his face, revealing inch by inch the lines and wrinkles of the aggravation that ravage him. And the orange tinge to his eyes doesn't go unnoticed, as he glares at his cousin in annoyance. Yet he makes no effort to speak. Hoping that Kara will just go away and let him figure out a way to rebuild his damned routine. Besides, what the hell does she know about it, she has no idea what he's going through.

Swiftly, Clark's penetrating gaze shoots toward the loft window at the sound of a familiar bell-like giggle that invades his hearing, followed by _her_ melodic voice, 'You have no idea, how much I needed that.' She's laughing. Who is she laughing with? He wonders silently. Damn it ! Who made her laugh? Clark fists his hands in his lap. The beast inside rumbles. He clenches his jaw, grinding his teeth as his breathing quickens. His back straightens rigidly, body alert and ready to strike. Who the hell made his Chl... _her_ laugh at a time like this! A slow guttural growl breaks from his chest.

Kara stands by, watching in bemused awe as her cousin shifts from barely docile and listless to enraged and restless in a split second. "Kal!" She calls to him, needing to bring his attention back to her. Whatever is happening to him is wrong. This can't go on. "Kal!" She calls again. He doesn't respond. His concentration is on something unseen. Kara perks her ears, stretching her senses, whatever Clark hears is unknown to her. "Clark!" Kara shouts, satisfied when his ears twitch and slowly his posture relaxes.

Clark turns his head toward Kara, still silent in his scrutiny of her. For a moment he'd forgotten she's still up here. Could Kara hear the laugh? How would she react if she heard Jimmy making his Chl... _that girl_ laugh? Was it Jimmy? God what if it was Jimmy? Clark focuses purposefully this time, listening intently, searching for her voice. Her heart is steady, but she's not speaking.

Kara takes a measured step towards him, disrupting Clark's thoughts "Kal. I'm not sure what's going on with you, but you can't hide up here forever."

"I'm not hiding." He grouses. She has no idea the things he needs to do. He's just trying get his life back under a controlled system. If only _that girl_ would stop attacking his senses.

Kara breathes a little easier. At last he speaks. "Well then you're moping! I have been informed and have witnessed on several occasions, that your mopes are legendary." She smiles brightly at her unamused cousin. "So I am here to save you from yourself..." Then adds with a smirk. "Plus, I cannot handle your pet. Lunch is ready and she has the penchant to whine when you are not around."

"What do you mean?" Clark intones dully. He doesn't really care. Lana doesn't whine she just objects incessantly, but Lana can...He cuts off his thought and blinks. Lana?

Kara rolls her eyes, "You have been sitting up here for hours Kal. She's annoyed. I'm annoyed with her. She is your..." The blonde kryptonian grimaces, reluctant to say but finishes. "... She is your chosen... " Kara spits out quickly. " and honestly, if you want your chosen to remain unharmed and intact you will follow me into the house this instant!"

Clark's eyes are unfocused as he faces her. Kara's words completely lost on him as Clark's thoughts circle the possibilities of Lana. Lana can fit nicely into his routine. He did it on Sunday. It was hard at times to control his focus, but he can work on it. He did promise to do better for Lana, and then _that girl_ wouldn't affect him anymore, her laughter won't reach out to him from the distance. Lana laughs... she has a melodic laugh too. Clark's brows furrow in thought, as he mulls on that thought. Ughh... no she doesn't, her laugh is more reserved and guarded. He shakes his head in his rumination as Kara watches the play of emotions on his face speculatively. Lana's type of laugh doesn't matter, as long as she laughs, and damn it, Clark is determined to be the one to make Lana laugh.

With new resolve Clark stands from his position so swiftly his super speed kicks in. Turning to look at Kara, who's eyebrow is raised quizzically, Clark flashes a grin. "Lead the way, big cousin."

Kara scrutinizes him long and hard, studying the newest change from despondent to jovial. This is getting bad, she thinks, turning to begin her descent, but then stops rounding on her capricious cousin. Kara holds up her arm pointing toward the trunk, playing her hunch, her eyes meeting Clark's directly to gauge his reaction.

"Aren't you going to throw those away?" She asks. Kara's far from stupid, she knows who Clark bought the cups of coffee for, but what confounds her, is why he would keep them.

Clark doesn't need to see what she's pointing to. Resolute and unwavering he faces Kara, his voice hard and cold. "No. They stay where they are." And nobody better touch them he adds silently.

Not needing to hear anymore, Clark's bestial glare says more than enough. Kara nods and turns to exit the loft. Interesting. She mulls as they walk silently to the house. What Clark doesn't know, is that Kara is aware of the troubles with Chloe. She's not yet certain to what extent they reach, but she's observant. One - In the last 5 days she's hung out with Chloe and/or Jimmy three times, and each time at the mention of Clark or Lana, they would both become detached, a cloud of anger - in Jimmy's case - and intense grief and longing for Chloe, would settle on their features, the conversation ardently forced in another direction. And two, Clark hasn't mentioned Chloe's name in 2 days. And if that wasn't strange in and of itself, why would he go to the Talon in the morning and then again in the afternoon to buy coffee, but never give it her... or drink it himself.

Once they enter the back door to the kitchen, Kara jerks back, brought to a violent stop by Clark's death grip on her arm. If she hadn't of been mostly invulnerable, her arm would be easily crushed. She turns toward him wrenching from his grasp.

Clark's unaware of her glare and pretty much unconcerned with her annoyance at his man-handling. All his attention is locked on the device resting calmly on the counter. Pointing he begins lowly, "Why is that here?"

Kara turns toward the counter. When she sees the laptop he's indicated, she rolls her eyes. Clark can be so dramatic. Walking over to the laptop, she runs her fingers over it lightly. "We needed one." came her simple answer.

Clark's fingers itch to touch it. To follow Kara's traced path. He desperately wants to reach for it, hold it to him tightly. He can smell _her_ on it. Clark can feel the internal beast clawing at his chest, pushing him to grab it. To cling to it. Instead he takes a slow shuddered breath, and forces his hands deep into his pockets.

"Why?" He croaks, then clears his throat. "What happened to ours?" Entering the kitchen cautiously, he surveys the small laptop as if it were laced with kryptonite and the big Kryptonian's reluctantly determined to keep a respectful distance.

His cousin blinks at him dubiously. Is he serious? "You broke it Kal." She informs.

His head snaps up at that. "I did not!"

"You did too." Kara retorts.

Clark shakes his head in denial. He would remember if he broke the laptop. Kara's losing it. He glances back to the laptop, and balls his hands into fists inside of his jeans pockets. He will not go to it! But _her_ scent keeps calling to him, encouraging the insatiable beast.

Kara grumbles as she speeds to the bookcase and back bringing with her their crushed laptop. Holding out with both hands in display. "You see this Sasquatch size paw print." Kara runs one hand under the lap top in showy Vana White fashion. "You did this!" She accuses.

His eyes are wide with disbelief. How can he not remember that? "I... the..." Clark stammers.

Kara continues, "My hand is entirely too dainty and delicate. Lana's..." She waves her dainty, delicate hand dismissively in the direction of the stairs. "... her hands are the size of a child's."

Clark lowers his head thoroughly chastised. "I don't remember." He says sorrowfully, sneaking glances at the taunting objecton the counter.

Kara speeds back to the bookshelf, replacing the smashed electronic device and returns to her position in the kitchen. "So like I said. We needed one, and Lois let me borrow Chloe's."

Clark stiffens at the mention of the blonde's name. "Well you have to give it back." He commands, his steely tone leaving no room for argument.

Paying no heed to his stern tone and his rigid posturing, Kara breezes over to the stove, to begin dishing out lunch. "I told you Kal. We need it. James IM's me during the day and Chl..."

"It can't stay here! Take. It. Back!" Clark shouts, his voice booms rattling the kitchen windows, cutting off Kara's words and even succeeding in making her jump in shock. She turns to stare wide-eyed at her cousin.

Facing off silently, the only thing heard is the sound of frantic footsteps descending the stairs.

"Clark?" Lana calls cautiously as she enters the kitchen. She watches with apprehension as the two Kryptonians glare challengingly at each other. Well really Clark glaring at Kara who appears unfazed by his silent challenge and more disconcerted by his actions. "Clark?" Lana questions again.

The big alien doesn't acknowledge Lana's inquiries, his eyes still locked on those of his cousin. "That laptop cannot stay in this house." He says definitively.

"Clark you broke the other one." Lana interjects.

His head sharply swivels toward the tiny brunette. She takes an involuntary step back at the penetrating wild look in his eyes.

Upon noticing Lana's fearful retreat, Clark shuts his eyes and forces his stance to soften. Taking a deep breath, Clark pauses, reigning in his erratically fluctuating emotions before turning toward Kara again, "We don't need it Kara. We'll get another one." He says slowly, quietly. Discreetly glancing again, at the object of his current torment.

Kara tilts her head to the side contemplating his, "Well Aunt Martha is coming in tomorrow... we can ask her for the money." And she can get to the bottom of what's going on with you, Kara hopes silently.

Lana decides to step in once again, now that the situation appears less volatile. "I can buy you a state of the art laptop Clark." She smiles enticingly. "We could get one with all of the new features..."

"And how do you plan to purchase it?" Kara asks cutting off Lana's offer, her words clipped she places her hands on her hips as she regards the tiny human, "With your embezzled millions?" The blonde Kryptonian shakes her head in disgust, "No thank you. We prefer our money to be clean and government accountable."

Lana's narrowed eyes shift to Kara, "That money is from my divorce settlement Kara, it was owed to me! How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Until it becomes the truth." Kara retorts haughtily.

"Argh!" The tiny brunette yells, her faced flushed in frustration. She turns to her boyfriend. "Clark. Are you just going to stand there and let her talk to me like that?"

Eyes, having never left Kara, brows furrowed in confusion, Clark voices incredulously, "You said my mom's coming tomorrow?" This was news to him.

Kara nods curtly in reply, her gaze still focused on Clark's fuming pet. "I called her on Saturday. She'll be here in the morning."

Fresh baked muffins, Clark sighs wistfully. "Cool." He says, before going over to the stove top to grab his lunch, a new spring in his step. Maybe his mom can talk some sense it Chl... that stubborn girl. He has hope, this may be ending sooner than he anticipated. His mom always knows how to fix bad situations. Clark can hardly wait.

Lana gapes in shock, "Clark?"

He stuffs a piece of chicken into his mouth before stating over his shoulder absently, "Oh, Kara apologize to Lana."

The Kryptonian goddess rolls her eyes, "I would advise against waiting on the improbable. That will never happen." She then moves to accompany her already eating cousin at the stove top.

Lana, clearly put upon is incensed, unsure of what to do at this point she huffs up the stairs in annoyance.

--

The day drags on for Clark, at a frustrating snails pace as he tries studiously to ignore the suffocating tension and unrest on the farm. Later in the afternoon, after returning from the Talon, Clark finds Lana has sequestered herself up in their bedroom, grumbling and complaining about the lack of respect received from the illegal alien, while Kara just snickers, gliding smugly around the farm, gloating at her ability to get under the pet's skin. She found it so amusing and Clark is ashamed to admit, that he too found some of Lana's 'private' rants amusing. Didn't she realize that they could hear every word. Yet, Clark concedes, this has to stop. He isn't used to so much dissension in his house. Right now, he really needs Kara and Lana to get along. He needs them to play their part... distract him.

Especially since it appears that his ability to control his focus on his own is futile. Many times during this endless day, Clark has had to forcefully bring himself back from Metropolis and to the farm. He couldn't seem to stop searching for her. Her rhythmic heart still beats incessantly in his head. Usually her steady beat, soothed him and comforted him, but no longer, now it is as distracting as a piercing ring and he can't get rid of it. This, in addition to the spontaneous infiltration of her voice is driving him crazy. God, he needs something to drown her out, to claim his attention. Lana is supposed to be that something, but instead she's chosen to confine herself in the bedroom? What the hell? Clark can't wait for his mother to arrive, she'll know what to do. Martha Kent can fix anything.

Sitting silently on the living room sofa, the sun having set many hours before, Clark readjusts his position as Lana squirms irritably at his side. Clearly she's upset, but what does she want from him? Kara is her own person.

Staring deafly at the television, _the girl's_ heart sounds calmly in Clark's ears. He can hear clicking in the background, her fingers moving stealthily over the keyboard. She must still be at the planet, Clark muses. The sound of the keyboard differing from that of her laptop. He wonders if she's eaten dinner yet. He knows from experience, that if she isn't hand delivered food regularly, she will completely ignore her body's need for substantial sustenance. God, he hopes Lois is taking care of her. Left to her own devices, she would practically waste away.

Lana shifts restlessly against him yet again, drawing his attention back to the living room. Clark sighs, remembering his girlfriends anger.

"Lana." He begins softly, "...what do you want me to do? I can't make Kara apologize to you." Frankly he really doesn't see why Kara needs to apologize. Everything she'd said was true.

Having received the opening she'd been waiting on, Lana turns to him sharply, sitting up away from him. "Clark you don't seem to get it. Kara has no respect for me. She is always antagonizing me... " Clark reaches out to pull Lana back to him, but she shakes her head dissuading his action, and continues. " ...and you just stand there and let her talk to me how ever she pleases." She accuses.

"Lana." Clark placates. "Look, Kara doesn't listen to me either. What am I supposed to do?" Reaching a hesitant hand out for her again, he sighs relieved when she acquiesces, allowing him to pull her toward him. "Kara will come around Lana, you just have to be patient." Clark says softly, cradling her in his arms as she pouts. "She just doesn't know you like I do, she doesn't understand, but she will." He assures then adds. "Besides my mom will be here tomorrow, she'll talk to Kara. Ok?"

When he feels Lana nod silently into his chest, Clark relaxes slightly, leaning back into the sofa and turns his attention back to the ignored television. "Let's just watch the movie and let my mom handle Kara."

The tiny brunette turns her head toward the TV and scowls, "I don't know how you can watch this. This isnt comedy, it's just nonsensical." She complains.

Clark scowls at her words as well. What is she talking about, this is one of Chl... _that girls_ favorite movies. It's hilarious.

Lana continues, "Isn't he that Saturday Night Live comedian?"

He nods absently, "Will Ferrell."

The tiny brunette snorts, "Yeah. Him. I never got Chloe's..." She doesn't notice Clark tensing underneath her at the mention of that name as she goes on. "...fascination with him. He's ridiculous. All of his movies are pointless... " Lana rolls her eyes. " ...but Chloe swears by them." She puffs. "You can't seriously enjoy them Clark?"

"It's just a movie." He defends stiffly. Actually he enjoys Will Ferrell very much. He finds his movies very entertaining. More than that he loves watching Chl... _that blonde girl_ while she watches his movies. She always has this goofy grin plastered on her face, completely absorbed in Will's antics. Even better than watching her watch Will, is when she's watching the Spanish soap operas. Not many people know this, but Chl... _she_ has a closet love for the Telenovelas . Even though she doesn't know a lick of the language, she finds the shows hilariously entertaining.

"Clark?" Lana taps his arm, pulling him back into the moment.

"Huh?" He blinks.

"I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

Turning to the TV screen indecisively, then back to Lana he replies, "I thought we would stay up and watch Conan."

Lana rolls her eyes, "God... he's worse than that ridiculous comedian. I'm not staying up for that!" She explains, her face pinched in distaste. "Besides I've spent the whole day here with you, I need to be at Isis early tomorrow to catch up on a few cases." She disengages from his hold, pushing herself up from the sofa.

Clark isn't really sure how to respond to her. His first thought is that she really didn't seem that concerned with Isis when she had been 'visiting her Aunt Nell', but then thinking better of it, he realizes it wouldn't be very helpful to his cause to voice that, so he simply nods mutely.

"Are you coming?" She asks.

"Um... no. I'm going to finish watching this."

Lana shrugs as she glances toward the TV, a little perturbed, but at least she doesn't have to suffer through watching it. Leaning down she kisses Clark's cheek before vacating the living room and prancing up the stairs to their bedroom.

Clark presses himself further into the sofa cushions, sulking. Now what is he supposed to do? _The girl's_ serene voice penetrates his mind yet again, 'Yeah, I'm heading home for the night.' Clark can make out the smile from her tone and grumbles. She's not heading home, she's going to Oliver's pent-house. He wonders if Oliver's back in Metropolis yet. Has he spoken to her? Maybe he should call him tomorrow, maybe they could grab lunch or something, catch up a little? Repositioning himself on the sofa, Clark lays flat on his back staring up at the high ceilings. If Oliver's in Metropolis, he would be staying in the Clock Tower too wouldn't he? What if they're staying there together. Clark shuts his eyes and swallows hard, the beast growls possessively. A fierce heat rises from his stomach, spreading to his chest. Stop it! Clark silently screams. Just... stop it! God, what's happening to him? Turning over, he hugs his arms around himself protectively, trying to summon sleep and quiet his errant thoughts. This has to stop. Tomorrow. He reminds himself, tomorrow his mom will be here and everything will go back to the way it should be. She'll make everything better.

--

"You know I really don't understand how you would think that Conan is better than Letterman." Chloe shakes her head, grinning broadly in amusement. "You're really deluded farm-boy."

Clark sprawls out comfortably, arms stretched on the top of the sofa, long legs splayed in front of him, watching Chloe with a hawk-like intensity. Her hair falls in a light wave to her bared shoulders. A fitted red tank-top clings tightly to her body revealing just a hint of the soft skin of her waist, as the denim shorts ride up her legs, showing more than enough skin as she tucks her delicate bare feet under her. Clark flexes his hands, itching, desperate to touch her. Her skin looks soft, enticing, so smooth, creamy... Clark licks his lips.

Ignorant of his observation and awaking desire, she watches the TV, a permanent Mona Lisa smile gracing her supple lips and every now and then she chews lightly on the fruit roll up she's wrapped around her finger. Clark bites his plump bottom lip as she brings the sweet candy to her mouth and sucks lightly. He's completely enthralled. Oh, how he wishes he were that finger. He shifts, now uncomfortable in his seat as his body awakens in response.

They're sitting no more than a foot away from each other on the sofa, yet Clark frowns at the distance. She's too far away from him. He needs her near, his body hums from the heat radiating of hers but it's not enough. He and the beast crave more. He needs contact. Physical contact. Why the hell is she sitting so far away?

"I just don't get it. Letterman's dry sarcasm makes his delivery so much better. Conan..." She snorts, "...Conan is just goofy... " Finally turning to address Clark directly, she smirks, "...but I guess that's what you two have in common."

A slow smile tugs at his lips as he lays his hand over his heart. "You hurt me Chloe... right here. You hurt me." He feigns pain.

Chloe rolls her eyes, her smile broadening, "Yeah, whatever farm-boy. Seriously, I don't get it."

He shrugs lightly, "I love the Irish!" His eyes piercing and intent. "The green compliments my eyes." He says lightly.

She chuckles lightly, "There's the modesty I love... I knew under all that flannel and primary colors lurked an image conscious metro-sexual. All that Kryptonian beauty couldn't have gone to waste."

Clark smiles brightly at her liveliness. He loves it. This is Chloe! This is real! "What can I say. My eyes aren't as expressive as yours. I need any advantage I can get!"

Laying her head back on the top of the sofa, she turns toward him. "Oh please Clark." The Mona Lisa smile once again making it's appearance. Clark wonders if she looks just as peaceful when she's asleep. Eyes closed, a whisper of a smile across her lips, and all of sudden he desperately wants to find out. To see that look everyday. To wake to that smile each morning. His hunger grows. The beast pounds impatiently inside of him. He has to touch her, has to get closer. Clark shifts nearer to her on the sofa, hoping she won't notice his movement, and move further away.

Slowly raising a hand to her face, his fingers trace over her eyebrows lightly. "You know, your eyes... they aren't simply green." His fingers move down to her temple, it's still not enough, but he's hesitant for more, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness. "When you're excited, they're a vibrant electric emerald." Fingers brush her cheek, a ghost of a touch. But his hands feels marked by her exquisite skin. "When you're angry they darken to jade, even forest... " Across her smiling lips, his finger slides slowly, he lingers for a moment. "and when you're happy they're as bright and as golden as a meadow." Down to her chin his fingers trace to her neck, lightly they descend to her shoulder. "But when you're sad... " Clark frowns as Chloe grabs his wrist, halting his exploration. " ... they pale to a mossy sea green." He finishes quietly.

Stifling intense silence settles upon them as they gaze eternally into each other's eyes. Chloe, still holding onto Clark's wrist, shifts closer to him, laying his palm flat over her heart. He lets out a slow breath. More. "Who knew you were such an expert at eye color." She says lightly. Her tone soft, caressing the air surrounding them.

"Just yours." Clark admits breathlessly. His heartbeat steadily increasing. The beast rabidly pants in his chest. "Just yours Chloe." He repeats, as he lowers his hand from her chest to her arm, seeking to pull her toward him.

Chloe doesn't budge from her position, much to Clark's bewilderment. She smiles coyly, shaking her head in refusal. "You have to say it Clark." She explains.

Pausing, he searches her eyes, swallowing thickly he says. "I want you to come closer." Chloe smiles as she shifts nearer to him, but she's still too far away. More, he needs more Chloe. Closer.

"More." He breathes out. She moves toward him until about an inch remains. Clark raises his hand to her hair, running his fingers through the soft flaxen strands. "Closer." He whispers, until she's right up on him, practically in his lap.

He runs both of his hands from her shoulder kneading the pliant skin, down her arms he caresses her soft flesh. Still it's not enough, he needs more. He needs her touch, her warmth. The beast growls in hunger, hammering his insides.

"What else Clark?" She asks knowingly.

"Touch me." He says levelly.

Chloe's delicate hands start from his stomach, and immediately the heat flares through him. The beast grunts in satisfaction. Clark is breathless as they ascend from his abdomen. Her touch is scolding. He looks down at her hands as they travel up his heaving chest. He grabs her hips roughly, running his own hands possessively over them to her waist. His fingers fondling the satin skin of her sides. Raising his eyes to meet hers, he notices they've darkened to a hunter. Clark licks his lips leaning in closer to her. Their breath mingling. Caressing each other's lips. More he needs more. He needs to taste her.

Breathing her in, he lowers his head to meet her lips to his, but her words stops him. "You're not ready yet." She says clear and concise.

He pulls back slightly, brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you saying?" He asks, his hands moving from her waist under her shirt splaying his large hands on the small of her back, He needs her up against him, she's still too far away. Neither he nor the beast are satisfied. They need more. More heat. More contact. More Chloe. His hands travel, exploring the smooth expanse of her back, her sides, her soft stomach, to the bottom swell of her breast. Itching for more.

Chloe raises her tiny hands to Clark's face, running them both gently through his hair until coming to a stop around his neck. Clark shudders as her fingers trail lightly at the nape.

"You're not ready yet Kal-El." She says again. Leaning toward him she whispers into his ear, she adds a promise. "But you will be."

Her warm breath massages his ear, his neck, and the beast growls in roused frustration, stomping frantically in the hollows. Lifting one hand to her slender neck, Clark holds her near him, buring his face in her neck, breathing in her skin. He needs so much more. His lips grazing her slender neck. Clark shuts his eyes, biting his bottom lip in an effort to suppress a groan, as she pulls back gently and lays flat on top of him, her head resting on his chest.

"Rest Kal-El." She whispers.

Her voice soothing, yet he can't help but to release a moan of pleasure when her hands smooth over the skin of his forearms. Heat. Massive heat flares throughout him. Flooding his insides with unimaginably intense warmth, and still it isn't enough. He needs more. He's not yet satisfied. This is good. He needs this too. But still it's not enough.

"Rest." Chloe repeats softly.

Clark wraps his solid strong arms around her tightly, possessively. Securing her to him, pressing her in closer. He can live with this... for now.


	25. SUBSTITUTION Three:1 Day 9

SUBSTITUTION Three (Day 9)

Light, gentle fingers trail his scalp, threading through his hair. Feeling a slight weighted dip in the cushions, Clark groans trying to turn away from the invader of his space but his path is blocked. He grumbles in annoyance, the hand combing through his hair is relentless... comforting but relentless. Don't they get the hint? Why can't she just leave him alone? He shifts again, head hitting the back of the couch hard, Clark lets out a growl of frustration. The invader's hand moves from his head to his shoulder, it's a delicate touch, a reassuring squeeze. It's an unwanted touch, is what it is. Yet he thinks twice before batting it away. That hand belongs to someone, most likely Lana, who can't seem to take a hint and he really doesn't feel like being responsible for breaking her hand, but she just wouldn't stop.

"Lana..." He grouches irritably. "... I don't want to have sex with you." He insists, his words muffled into the back of the sofa. How many ways does he have tell her... geez!

A loud sound of riotous laughter sounds from the kitchen, startling Clark into wakefulness. 'Lana' finally draws away from him, removing her hand from his shoulder and rises from her perch on the edge of the sofa. Clark blinks into the cushions. Where is he?

Turning over slowly, Clark recognizes the soft auburn locks flowing around the beautiful face of his mother, now sitting on the coffee table in front of him. His mother. Not Lana. His mother, who apparently is just as surprised as he, if her wide-eyes and slightly open mouth is any indication. His mother, who he happened to mention sex with Lana to. God, he's mortified.

"Mom?" Clark squeaks dumbfounded, unsure if he's more embarrassed or surprised. He looks away avoiding her eyes, settling on red faced to go with the hot blush he feels creeping to his cheeks. "I... we... you see..." He stutters.

Martha smiles knowingly at her son. This awkwardness and the rosy tint of his flushed skin, this she's used to. Having mercy on her rubescent child and ignoring Kara's snorting and giggles in the background she lulls, "It's OK baby."

He glances up hesitantly, "We..." He chokes, then takes a deep breath before continuing. "We're not having... " He grimaces, pained to have to say this to his mother, of all people. Choosing his words carefully he finishes. " ...not intimate in that way yet." Not as of late, is amended silently.

Attempting to let him off the hook a little and ease his embarrassment, Martha chuckles lightly. "I'm not worried Clark." He meets her eyes directly, offering a tentative shy smile. "Besides, from what I just heard, sounds to me as if you're not that interested." She smirks, eliciting another bout of hellacious laughter, snorts and now wheezing from Kara.

"Great." Clark mumbles, dropping his head back on the sofa cushions in sulking resignation, but immediately the resonance of _the girl's _heart beat pulsing in his ear claims his attention. Clark stills, muscles tightening in awareness, he quirks his head at the intrusive sound. Something's wrong. Why is she panting? Is she running? What is she running from? Is someone chasing her? 'Sorry. Sorry.' Her voice echo's in his head. What is she sorry for? Who is she talking to?

"I'll make breakfast... " Distantly, Clark hears his mother say. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Martha rise from her seat. He remains unmindful, nothing matters except this. Clark forcefully pushes his hearing forward, taking in more of her surroundings. Who was she talking to? She hasn't said a word since her apology.

A herd of pounding footfalls vibrate in his head, Clark cringes from the onslaught, pulling back slightly he lessens the ruckus of loud painful thumps. The shuffling of papers, the clacking sound of key strokes? He knows her whereabouts. 'Hey Sully!' a man greets. His voice sounding out clearly to Clark. He must be standing pretty close to her. _Too _close, in Clark's opinion, feeling the _beast _stir in his depths. 'Hey.' _The girl_ sounds breathless.

Instantly he envisions the glorious sight of her chest heaving up and down, up and down with each deep drawn inhale, exhale, and wonders what top she has on? Is she showing any skin? Clark bites his lip hard to keep from groaning at the vivid imagery. He's almost certain, she's revealing bountiful cleavage. Can everyone see her downy flesh? Can the 'too close' man see her...? A rumble, almost like a snarl escapes from his chest. The _beast _bristling territorially. Clark flexes his hand at his side, his body taut with tension. Then the man speaks again. 'Grant, wants to see you... I think you're late and...'

A soft hand on his shoulder pulls Clark back to himself and away from the Daily Planet. Blinking rapidly, he notices Martha hovering over him, the concern in her eyes complimented by the kind smile gracing her lips. "Are you OK honey?"

Forcing his muscles to relax, he draws a deep breath. He's fine. It's _that reporter girl _with all the 'too close' men ogling her, that his mother should be concerned about. She's trying to work, damn it! These perverts should know the Daily Planet is no place to try to pick up women? Doesn't she know that when she wears those low cut tops that everyone can see her and...

"Clark?" Martha's voice cuts through his mental diatribe.

He nods immediately, to the prior question. "Fine. I'm fine." He says gruffly.

Once again, sitting on the adjacent coffee table, Martha presses. "Are you sure Clark?"

Reluctantly, Clark rises to a sitting position to meet her eyes directly. If there's one thing that he hates, it's adding unnecessary distress to his mom's life. Nodding again, in hopes to relieve her concern, Clark forces a dry smile, a smile Martha notices doesn't quite reflect the hazy unrest in his eyes. "I'm sure Mom." Clark swallows, a frown etched across his face, opening his mouth to speak, when a quiet giggle draws his attention. Turning his head toward the laughter coming from the kitchen, Clark sees Kara fluttering around, probably helping his mom prepare breakfast. Her mouth is moving as if she's talking to herself. He perks his ears to listen in.

"Mating with his pet." She mumbles followed by a light giggle. "He'd probably break her." Another chuckle.

Clark narrows his eyes at his oblivious cousin, "I can hear you, you know." Crossing his arms over his chest he huffs, slumping to the back of the sofa. Martha watches bemused by his switch in demeanor and amused at his childish display. "And I don't appreciate you making fun of my power control problems Kara!" He pouts.

Having been found out, Kara guffaws. "I am not referring to your unfounded psychosomatic anxieties." The blonde chortles, shaking her head at his naivete, then adds with much levity. "It is all very ridiculous really."

Clark stands quickly, insulted by her blatant disregard for his very real intimacy concerns. "Ridiculous?" He asks harshly, marching indignantly into the kitchen. "Ridiculous?" He repeats, his voice beginning to rise.

"Clark, honey calm down." Martha consoles, following them into the kitchen.

Ignoring his mother's soft plea, he glares at the haughty Kara Zor-El. Miffed, she thinks she knows everything. "You wait Kara. When you fall in love with someone and want to... to be with him." He stumbles upon the last few words. Geez, he can't believe he's having this conversation, with his mom - he glances hesitantly at her out of the corner of his eye - yup, with his mom looking right at him, but how dare Kara speak so lightly, and have the audacity to joke about his problems like this. Clark continues, "You just wait. And you'll see, it's not... ridiculous." He sneers.

"Oh please Kal... " she begins, rolling her eyes at Clark's sheer doltishness, Kara faces him head on, her hands sturdy on her hips. Fleetingly Clark wonders why she always adopts that pose in confrontations, then shakes his head at the stray insignificant thoughts.

"Our people have been interbreeding with humans for centuries." She informs him matter of fact. Once she notices his eyes widen slightly in realization, Kara turns, grabbing the heavy mixing bowl, then continues, smirking to herself, her back toward him, only Martha seeing the mischief in her blue eyes. . "Your inability to perform, is all up here." she taps lightly on her head. "Besides I was not speaking of your neurosis."

Her words having affected his heated emotions like the downpour of cold water. Feeling appropriately chastised Clark frowns, his eyes downcast. "Then why did you say, I would break her?" He sullenly asks the tiled floor.

"Kara!" Martha gasps. She had no idea, that's how this conversation started, having not heard Kara's initial jokes.

Kara shifts to view him over her shoulder. "You Kal are a mammoth..." she turns fully toward him and snorts, "...and your pet, she is miniature."

Clark's frown deepens at her description, while his mother is aghast. "Kara!" Martha admonishes. "That's not a very nice thing to say." Yet Clark could interpret the hidden amusement laced in her rebuke.

Kara must have noticed too, because she begins to giggle, turning to face his mother... "Sorry Aunt Martha, but it is the truth." Not a hint of remorse to be found. "She is not even a life-sized human." She chuckles. "I mean I know it is highly improbable but can you imagine her attempting to carry Kal's child?" Shivering, horrified at the thought regardless of her intentional mirth, Kara adds "She would most likely crumble under the weight to her diminutive frame."

Clark can hear his mother's reproachful words to Kara, over a thinly veiled smile. Words like, 'You shouldn't...' and 'it's not polite to...,' but he pays no attention. Leaning against the kitchen counter, his mind sifts through all of the women he's ever been attracted to. He can concede to Kara's point. Lana is very tiny. Actually the smallest out of all of them... except for _the girl_. But even she has trim alluring curves and smooth shapely legs, and her full creamy breasts... Clark licks his lips in his imaginings. The tender touch of her delicate hands on his arms, the pillowy soft feel of her supple breast against his chest, the fit of her trim beautiful body plastered to...

"What did you mean 'it's not likely'?" His mother's purposeful voice yet again brings him back. Lana. He blinks. He loves Lana. Clark reminds himself, a little alarmed by the direction of his thoughts.

Martha continues, her genuine interest is unmistakable. "You said, we've been breeding with your people for a long time?" This... this is what she's been missing all of these years. For the first time, Martha realizes she actually has a knowledgeable Kryptonian in her midst. For so long, she and Jonathon were in the dark on how to care for Clark. How to manage raising a boy with such unique biology. For so long they just used the patented approach of playing it by ear, merely winging it. But now, she can't... wouldn't pass up this opportunity. Kara is definitely a God-send.

Clark stands by quietly awaiting Kara's response. He too, is interested in what she has to say. He'd never admit it openly to anyone besides his mother and Chl... _the girl_, but he hates that he knows so little about himself and his own body. And to add to that, his body's affect on humans.

"Well..." Kara begins thoughtfully. She straightens her stance, all the mirth gone from her demeanor. "On Krypton, it was impossible to bear a child outside of your life-mate bond."

Now Martha's really intrigued. Absently placing the forgotten spatula on the counter. "What's a life-mate?" She inquires.

Clark rolls his eyes and grumbles at the question. Here it comes, he huffs mentally not really wanting to hear anymore about life-mates or soul-yearnings and who is and who isn't. Yet he can't ignore the _beast's _awakening effect at the word. He can almost feel it's awareness deep in the caverns within him.

The blonde Kryptonian ignores her cousin's rude response as she addresses the rapt Martha Kent. "A life-mate is the equivalent of a soul-mate. But on earth, you do not necessarily have to commit to your soul-mate or bind in marriage. On Krypton, one usually is bound to their soul's partner, both spiritually and physically in a life-mating ceremony, much like marriage. It is not only tradition but a biological imperative."

She holds out her arm, bringing attention to the bracelet on her wrist. "This bracelet is a symbol of the life-mate bond, like a wedding band. It was given to me by my Aunt Lara, Kal's... " Kara hesitates, glancing sorrowfully between her quiet cousin and Martha.

"His biological mother." Martha smiles, attempting to ease Kara's obvious worry. "It's OK Kara. I know about Lara." She pats Kara's hand affectionately, assuring the girl that she did not take offense.

Brightening immediately, Kara returns Martha's smile and continues with her 'lesson'. "It is not mandatory that you tie with your soul's partner. But if one wishes to reproduce successfully, it is a must." Kara frowns, her eyes going unfocused in her concentration. "There have been known cases where conceptions occurred outside of the bonded life-mates, but those always resulted in the death of the fetus. The child needs the intertwined essences of the parents to survive gestation." She looks back to Martha. "Here on earth, one such attempt would most likely be fatal to the mother as well." Then she shrugs, as if brushing off the morbid thoughts, "This is why I said it is most likely improbable for Kal and his pet to conceive."

Martha nods in understanding, then stills, frowning in thought. "Why would you think Lana's not Clark's life-mate?" She has her doubts as well, but is genuinely interested in Kara's observation. The Kryptonian girl has only been out of stasis a short while. It surprises Martha that she has already come to that particular conclusion.

Clark groans out loud, definitely disgruntled at his mother's inquiry. Both women ignore him, he might as well not even be in the same room.

Kara scoffs. "It's so obvious. She is not his match, it's a wonder Kal doesn't see."

His mother nods lightly, accepting Kara's simple answer, then whispers to herself, "I agree." As she picks up the spatula and turns toward the stove.

Clark's eyes widen in surprise at his mother's reveal. Staring in bewilderment at her back. Doesn't she like Lana? His mom knows how much he loves her. Why hadn't she said anything before? Clark crosses his arms over his chest, beginning to feel slightly ganged-up on. This is ridiculous, he thinks. It doesn't matter what these women think. He pouts, unfolding his arms and shoving his hands into his pockets. He loves Lana and will make his own decision, damn it!

Walking slowly toward the stairs, he mumbles glumly, "I need to start my chores."

"OK honey." Martha turns her head toward him smiling sweetly, ignoring her son's melancholy. "Breakfast will be ready once you're done." She finishes, bring her attention back to the sizzling bacon. "We'll talk afterward." She predicates to his disappearing back.

--

After his short trip to the Talon for _her _morning pick-up, in which he hoped the ladies in the house hadn't noticed his absence and finally speeding through the morning chores, Clark sat with Martha and Kara at the kitchen table scarfing down his mother's much needed and dearly missed breakfast.

The table is silent, nary a word being spoken. This quiet only aids in preventing interruption from his wandering attention. Which consists of following the steady and sometimes slightly elevated rhythm of_ the girl's_ heart until 'Yeah, yeah yeah!' She sing-songs ecstatically. Clark quirks his head in interest. What's she so excited about? He can almost hear her pumping her fists in the air. A slow smile tugs at the corners of his lips in response to the image. Until Lois' voice turns it into a frown. 'Great job cuz.' She praises. 'Bout time Grant took the perpetual stick out of his ass! Bastard never prints one of my articles.'

"She's getting an article printed." Clark whispers proudly. Not even realizing he spoke out loud.

This grabs Martha's attention. "Who? Chloe?" She inquires, noting his abrupt response, in the tension of his posture. For the last half-hour, she's been sitting silently across from her son observing his detachment with open regard. And what triggers her concern, is that he hadn't even noticed her blatant scrutiny. Yet now he seems alert and so rigidly taut, any strain can crack him.

Why would his mother ask about _that girl_? She doesn't matter. Unimportant. What matters is... Clark's head snaps up. "Where's Lana?" He counters brusquely. She's supposed to be her. Where the hell is his girlfriend when he needs her?

Martha blinks. Surprised at his terse and honestly irrelevant question, she definitely hadn't been expecting that. "She wasn't here when I arrived." She answers slowly, still completely astonished.

"She left for Isis, pretty early." Kara informs without preamble. For her part, she's gotten used to her baby cousin's transient moods. Only glad, that now she has proof of the place he goes in his head, when in distraction. So it _is _Chloe! She nods to herself internally, adding this confirmation to her invisible file.

"Honey... you said something about an article?" Martha probes, hedging lightly.

He lowers his eyes to his half eaten plate. "I don't want to talk about it." He dismisses curtly, shoving a piece of bacon into his mouth. Ever. He never wants to talk about it. Why is she harassing him about _that girl_?

--

Once the uncomfortably silent breakfast is concluded and the kitchen is cleaned, Kara makes herself conveniently scarce, something about needing to be at the Talon and a date with the pipsqueak photographer... Clark didn't know. And truthfully he didn't care, all that matters is that Kara left him, abandoned him to have the dreaded conversation with his mother.

Martha sits quietly across from him at the kitchen island, nursing an after breakfast coffee. Her eyes are narrowed in speculation and study of her son.

While Clark, head bowed toward the table, studies the fascinating lines and indentations of his hands, waiting. He doesn't want to talk about what he's sure his mother wants to talk about, so if she wants to talk about it, she will have to be the one to bring it up. He'll just wait. He can wait forever if he has to... well at least until 2pm. He has to pick up Chl... _her _afternoon fix at that time. But then, he can come back here if his mother wants and continue the waiting.

Hmm? Clark frowns. He'd never noticed he didn't have callouses. He recalls the slight irritation in his hands from the summer he lost his powers. The summer of normality, he likes to call it. Clark narrows his eyes at his palm zooming in to inspect his flesh. Chl... _she _has callouses on her fingertips, maybe not callouses, because they aren't rough. But he can tell, she types consistently. Ever since he's known her, she's been a typer. Always behind some computer. Shit, she carries her laptop around with her where ever she goes. She even has an extra. Clark looks up and around him. Where is that other laptop anyway?

"Clark?" Martha finally speaks. "What's going on with you?" No use in beating around the bush. Let's get straight to the point.

"Nothing."

She reaches out her hand, placing it over his on the counter. "Clark, sweetie. I've been here only this morning, and I've seen how distracted you are." She pauses in inspection then asserts slowly. "What's going on?"

Clark shakes his head lightly, "I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."

Her son has always been pretty closed off, playing his hand close to his chest. Stubbornness in the Kent men is a force to be reckoned with, but she's also a Kent woman, and refuses to let this slide. "You disappeared for two days Clark. What about that?"

"What about my cousin learning to mind her own business?" He sneers without thought, then gulps remembering his mother and begins to stammer. "I mean... she... I... what did...?" He sighs heavily, unable to find his words.

"Kara was just concerned about you Clark, and I'm glad she called me, something is clearly wrong." She rubs her hand affectionately over his. Choosing to ignore his outburst.

"It's nothing." He grouses.

Martha breathes deep, "It's something Clark. People don't just runaway for two days for nothing."

"I... " Clark hesitates, and swallows hard. He knows it's going to come out eventually, but he'd do anything to stall the inevitable. "... I just had a lot on my mind and needed to get away. That's all."

The Senator's eyes narrow into slits at his half-assed explanation. "And you didn't bother to inform anyone." Martha's voice begins to rise along with her aggravation. "What is it that takes so much thought that you had to disappear? What was it that needed so much space you had to go away from your home in order to ponder on it?"

He doesn't have an answer. Really, what can he say? God when was the last time, he'd felt _this _small. Clark remains silent boring holes into their clasped hands.

Taking a steadying breath for calm, she presses lightly. "Clark. Why didn't you call me? If something's bothering you, you can always talk to me." She pauses, then adds. "Did you tell Chloe what's going on?"

And there it is. Instantly, Clark tenses. His hands locking together hard beneath hers.

He doesn't look up, his voice is low and menacing when he responds. "She and I aren't speaking."  
Martha frowns, rubbing her hand over his rock hard fists, trying in vain to soothe the obvious tension in her son. "What do you mean Clark?"

Clark abruptly jerks his hands off of the counter and away from his mother's comforting touch. He doesn't want her comfort. He just wants to be left alone, but apparently that isn't going to happen. Raising his head slowly, he meets his mother's concerned eyes with a steely gaze of his own. "We aren't friends anymore!" His words come out sharp and clipped.

She shakes her head, "That's absurd honey. You and Chloe have been friends for eight years. Friends just..."

"Not anymore." Clark cuts in derisively. "We had a big fight and now we aren't." We're nothing to each other now! _That girl _means nothing!

His mother looks down at her coffee cup in contemplation, before taking a sip. "What did you fight about?" She wonders if it had anything to do with Chloe needing some space, he told her about a week ago.

He shrugs, his muscles so stiff, the motion looked oddly robotic. "I guess she didn't like the fact that I forgave Lana so easily and wanted space. When I tried to talk to her about said space... she got angry, I got angry." He turns to look out the window towards the fields. "We had a fight." His matter of fact explanation belying the rigidity in his posture.

Before she can speak, Clark's head snaps back to her, "Can you believe she had the nerve to call me selfish? Me. Selfish."

Martha grimaces slightly into her cup. "Well, I think you're selfishness, comes from me and your father." She answers thoughtfully.

"What?" He shakes his head vehemently. "I am not selfish! I'm not!... Do you really think I'm selfish?"

"Well Clark..." She begins slowly, unsure of how he'll take what she's about to say. " ...when it comes to protecting and helping others, you are very selfless." She offers a proud smile, then adds. "But... you do have the tendency to think of only what _you_ want."

A deep frown hardens into his features as his mother continues. His own mother, siding with the enemy. "But like I said, I believe most of that is the result of my and Jonathan's coddling of you."

"You did not coddle me." He pouts, folding his arms across his chest.

Martha nods, answering also in self reflection. "We did. We spent so much time focusing on your abilities, how unhappy about them you seemed at times... that I think, unknowingly we may have overcompensated when it came to things that weren't related to them."

"That's not true." Clark shakes his head sullenly.

She looks at him for a long moment, pondering on the influence their parenting mistakes have had on him as an adult. "We did Clark." She reaffirms quietly. Ignoring his blatant denial, she pushes on. "What happened during Lana's and Lex's wedding or even their engagement?"

Clark head shoots up, "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" She says sadly. "Was it fair to Lex? Was it fair to that unborn child?"

Clark sputters, "Lana wasn't even pregnant." His only rebuttal. He hates what she's implying. Lana loves him, wanted to be with _him_, not Lex. What was he supposed to do?

"Neither one of you knew that at the time." Martha ripostes easily. "And what happened the summer you lost your powers?"

Clark purses his lips together tightly. Where exactly is she going with this?

"Nothing mattered to you, except you and Lana. You ignored your father, you ignored me, you ignored your friendship with Chloe at times."

Clark frowns, his eyes diverting to the counter. "That's not true." He whispers.

"And then there's Chloe... " Overlooking the change her name evokes in him, she goes on. " ...for years you knew how she felt about you... " He swallows hard shaking his head, not wanting to hear what he knows she's going to say. Almost ready to cover his ears with his large hands. But his stupid super-hearing, he'd still hear her. " ...you knew, but yet inconsiderately went to her for advice about your relationship with Lana, time and time again, blatantly ignoring her feelings."

Clark pushes up from the counter so suddenly, he blurs. The innocent stool hitting the floor with a loud clatter. "I've never ignored _her _feeling!" He protests, almost shouting. The _beast _inside him thunderously rumbling. "_She _dumped me! _She _disregarded me!" He slaps his palm against his chest so hard, the sound vibrates through the kitchen, causing Martha to jump back startled at his intensity. "No one seemed to care about my feelings! _CHLOE_ gave a shit about my feelings!" The _beast _snarls and claws in his chest, burning, searing and hot, begging to be released. Clark's nostrils flaring with his breath coming in frantic heaving pants.

Martha rises slowly from her stool, crossing toward him cautiously. "Clark, baby, please calm down." She begs, her eyes wide with concern.

The plaintiveness in her tone grips something in him, pushing him to make himself relax, or more precisely, harness himself. Taking a few deep breaths, Clark can feel his muscles trembling from the effort of restraint. He prays his mother doesn't notice. He hates to hear his mom beg. Even worse, he hates that he's frightened her. "_She _disregarded me first mom and then again after Zod." His voice is small and choked as if he's holding back tears. "How was I supposed to know?"

He shuts his eyes tight against the invasion of her solace, as Martha closes her arms around him, whispering and cooing in his ear. He doesn't want this right now. Not from his mother. Not from her. Pulling back from her hold, Clark steps away, distancing himself from the comfort he knows resides in her presence. "And now she's left me again." he says morosely. Eyes trained on the floor.

"Baby, she didn't leave you." Martha takes a tentative step towards him.

Looking up at his mother, this perfect woman, Clark's eyes are weary. He swallows before speaking. "Yeah, she did." He says sadly. "It's over!"

Martha opens her mouth to speak, another attempt to refute his words, but he cuts her off. "...and so is this conversation." His tone is like steel. "Mom, I am asking you to drop this now."

Eyeing him intently for a long silent moment, Martha finally acquiesces, nodding lightly. Having made a decision, she crosses over to the counter for her cell phone and checks the clock on the wall. Only 9:30 am.

"While I'm in Kansas, I've scheduled a business meeting in Metropolis, might as well kill two birds with one stone." She says lightly. Turning to Clark, she sees him nod curtly. "I shouldn't be long. I'll be back in time to make dinner." Grabbing her purse and rental keys, she walks toward the back door. "Tell Lana we're having a family dinner tonight. Everyone's coming." She turns back to Clark before exiting, making sure he understands her perfectly. "I mean, _everyone_." And then she's gone.

Clark knows who she's referring to, but something in him adamantly denies his mother's certainty. _She _won't come. It's over.

--

"Fancy meeting you here... Of all the barns, in all the towns, in all the world, I walk into yours." Chloe says brightly, as she comes to a stop at the top of the stairs.

Lounging back on the old worn couch, Clark's eyes rake over his best friends form, from her lightly painted toe-nails, her tiny feet wrapped snugly in flat sandals, up her perfectly smooth calves, to her soft silken thighs, revealed under her denim mini-skirt, riding sensuously on her curvy hips. His eyes continue their blessed journey north, to her tight halter-top, melted over her flat stomach. And their it is, her supple flesh, peeking through the top, begging to be seen. Clark licks his lips in automatic response to their plea. Her skin having a light peachy hue, he craves to taste her. Up to her slender, delicate neck, his eyes devour. Her plum lips curve in a flirtatious smile, and her jeweled eyes sparkle with merriment. He wants this. He wants her. His body automatically reacts to her presence. Awakening from a deep slumber. Every nerve in his body, itches with longing to be touched by her soft exquisite hands. It's been too long. He needs this, needs her.

"I didn't think you'd come back." He says, staring intently into the depths of her emerald orbs.

Chloe bounces forward to him, her movement giddy and energetic, a stark contrast to his desperate desire and ravenous hunger. And how, is he hungry. Clark's gaze diverts to her thighs as she nears, studying the flex of the muscle with each step. He grits his teeth, the desire to nibble and tease is overwhelming him. He's forced to shut his eyes at the staggering sensation as she stands over him.

"I will always come back Clark." Is her response to his statement, but what had he said again? His brain short circuits as she lowers herself on top of him, straddling his thighs. Clark's eyes pop open as everything in him stands at attention. "In fact..." she amends slowly. Her hands kneading his shoulders, leaning in closer, she whispers "I've never left."

His hands slide up her creamy thighs, spread across both of his. Drawing circles and erroneous patterns on her downy skin. Until he grabs her hips roughly to prevent her from moving. The _beast _pants feverishly in his depths, he can feel it drawing closer to the surface, seeking direct contact, reaching for her rays of sunlight. Trying to pull her closer, he needs her closer, he needs her flat against him, but she won't move. His strength appears to be useless with her. So he tilts forward, burying his head in the crook of her neck. Her pulse calling him, speaking words of comfort and contentment.

"Are you my life-mate?" Clark whispers against her skin. His lips grazing her silken neck.

Chloe trails her fingertips slowly up his throat, tickling the sensitive flesh. His body sizzles from the contact. Burning from the light brush of her attention.

"That would be telling, now wouldn't it?" She smiles mischievously.

"I want to know. I _have _to know." Clark breathes, his fingers digging into the flesh of her waist.

He needs more. More than this. More of Chloe. In answer to his silent plea, Chloe pulls closer to him. Her breasts pressing ardently and wholly against his heaving chest. Winding her arms around him, she moves her hands to his waist and under his shirt, flattening her palm against his heated skin. Now he's burning, crackling from the inside out. The _beast _bangs continuously now right below the surface, encouraged by the direct connection to the energy and sustenance from her light.

"Your choice does not hinge upon my answer one way or another Kal-El. There for my answer is irrelevant."

Clark brushes his lips against the pulse of her neck, his hands glide hungrily from her waist to the small of her back, massaging, kneading, beckoning. "Do you know how much you mean to me?" He can hardly breathe, with her so close. With her hands on his skin, moving and demanding... yet not. It's strange and inexplicable, her touch is gentle and almost calming, but yet it awakens everything primal and ravenous in him. He needs more.

"I do know what I am to you." Her statement is simple, although it provokes so many questions in him. She adds, "The question is do you?" Punctuated by placing a kiss behind his ear affectionately, tenderly. Clark's body trembles at the contact, the _beast _yowls, clashing his insides in demand for more.

"I know." Clark gasps.

Chloe pulls back slightly sliding her hands from his back to his waist, and the _beast _in him howls and stomps loudly in his chest. "You do not, Kal-El." She informs meeting the confusion in his blue-green eyes directly. Then placing her hand flat over his heart. "You are not ready to know."

Clark stares at her for an endless moment, his eyes diverting to her teasing mouth. Moving in to claim them, to claim her. Chloe swiftly pushes her hand between them. "You are not ready yet."

Frustrated, he raises his hands up, skimming over her smooth back under her top, he curls his hand around her delicate shoulders, trying vainly to pull her closer. "But when the time comes. I will be here." Chloe promises, repeating Clark's actions, as she lays flat against his stomach. Her own hands under his shirt, searing and branding him. Binding him to her. Her head laying motionless against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Her warm breath caressing his throat. Her heart beat lulling him to relaxation.

Clark lies back against the old worn couch surrounded by the familiarity and comfort of his loft. His fortress of solitude, with Chloe, his beautiful best friend in his arms. It's not even nearly enough for him. But the time will come, she'd promised and he'll wait. He'll wait forever.


	26. SUBSTITUTION Three:2

**Continuation of SUBSTITUTION Three**

* * *

'_An official statement has yet to be released concerning the illegal distribution of PharmaTec products. Charles Kelley, CEO and founder of PharmaTec…"_

Chloe sighs heavily, leaning back into her chair, bringing her hands to her face; she rubs the exhaustion from eyes. A pressure's mounting in her head that refuses to be ignored. Grumbling to herself, she should still be able to focus. It's just a stupid reactionary article. Is it possibly because there aren't any stupid reactions to report? Her damn article hasn't even made it to print yet and Grant already wants the public's statements? It's stupid Grant, it's his fault and his stupid assignment, and this stupid key board keeps fucking sticking, and… Chloe turns her head around scowling at her co-workers and scrunching her nose in distaste. Not to mention these stupid reporters and their stupid evil coffee and… damn it! The noise! No one will be quiet. How do they expect anyone to concentrate? Why does everyone have to be so freakin' loud with their stupid clicking heels and stomping loafers and their stupid chatter and God… she has to come up with a better word than stupid. Inane? Inane is a good word or brainless. Yes. These brainless, inconsiderate, tormenting reporters with their devil's temptation. Don't they realize she is kicking the habit? Why do they want to torture her? The sadists! She just wants to go home. Or rather to the pent house and… not sleep. Rubbing her temples vigorously, Chloe can feel the build up of another migraine.

"Great! Fan-freakin-tastic!" She groans, dreading having to suffer through another headache on top of another sleepless night. Chloe turns her narrowed eyes to the Excedrin bottle on her desk. Anymore of those and she'll probably get an ulcer. What she needs is caffeine. Just a sip of coffee won't hurt, will it? It won't be like a relapse. Just a sip, for her headache; no harm done. Chloe looks longingly at the coffee maker across the floor. But she won't give in. Shutting her eyes at the enticement. Is she losing her mind? Or did the coffee maker just wink at her? Chloe flops her head back onto the top of her chair. Now she's seeing things. That's it, she has finally gone mad. Succumbed to delirium. The universe must be conspiring against her.

"Chloe?"

At the sound of the soft all too familiar voice, Chloe's eyes pop open. Yup, definitely conspiring against her. Shit! She never predicted this one. Chloe lowers her head slowly to meet the face behind the voice. Pasting on a tight smile, she greets, managing to reveal only her surprise minus the internal panic. "Mrs. Kent." No, no no, this is not happening! She is not here! What is she doing here?

The Senator returns Chloe's plastic smile with a genuine, kind one of her own. "Chloe. I'm not interrupting am I?"

Chloe glances at the half written, stupid article on her computer screen then back to Martha. "No, not at all." Inexplicably drawn to the older woman, Chloe rises from her desk, telling herself it's only to greet Martha properly. Going into her welcoming arms, her muscles relax slightly and the tightened clamps in her head seem to loosen with the contact. She needs this. There is no denying, she's needed a hug from Martha, the only mother figure she's known. Despite being the mother of her 'heartbreaking, treacherous, idiotic Kryptonian' former friend, Chloe loves Martha. She has always felt a maternal connection to her, and has craved 'Mrs. Kent hugs' more times than she cares to admit.

"It's good to see you Mrs. Kent. I had no idea you were in town." Then again, why would she? She'd withdrawn her Kent family membership. Chloe studiously ignores the ache in her heart at the reminder and blinks back the burn of emotion behind her eyes, at the feel of Martha's motherly attention. Unfortunately, it's tearing her apart to be so close to this representative of Clark's. At least Mrs. Kent doesn't smell like the fresh air and peace of the farm, Chloe muses. Yet Martha still smells like comfort and warm baked bread. As much as Chloe would like to revel in the love and affection freely offered from the Senator, Martha does not belong to her, she's _Clark's. _Chloe sighs sorrowfully.

"I got in this morning and wanted to see you." At the sudden stiffness in the girl's posture, Martha pulls back slightly, watching Chloe careful. The dark circles peaking underneath her make up not going unnoticed, but Martha reasons against inquiring about it, being that Chloe's made an effort of concealing the evidence. Martha lowers her arms and clasps the blonde's hands between hers. "Please say you haven't had lunch. I would love for you to join me." Punctuating her request with a warm affectionate squeeze to Chloe's hands.

Biting on her lip, Chloe's indecisive. She doesn't want to turn Mrs. Kent down, she loves her. Nevertheless, she doesn't want the reminder of Clark either. Love or not, the Senator is a direct connection to her once best friend that she just does not need. Geez, she's not even sure she can handle it right now. What if Mrs. Kent brings up her son? Which undoubtedly she will. What will she say? She's not ready for this. Not right now. It's too soon.

Opening her mouth to begin her respectful decline, Martha cuts her off. Having scrutinized the play of emotions on Chloe's face, she's certain of the coming negative response. She holds up a halting hand and smiles sweetly. "I'm not taking no for an answer Chloe. Grab your things. I've already made reservations."

Momentarily shocked, Chloe snaps her mouth shut and turns stiffly to her desk. Standing still a moment longer before shaking off her stupor, Chloe saves her unfinished article before logging out and collecting her bag.

Once prepared she turns back to Martha, "I've only got an hour." Chloe says. Her voice small and oddly childlike.

Martha smiles brightly, "That's all the time I need sweetie." Ushering Chloe out with a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

--

Chloe looks around at the modest ambiance of the restaurant Martha selected, after the waiter takes their order. Absently turning her water glass around and around, she surveys her surroundings. Not too upscale and yet not too casual. It's a quaint place, catering to the affluent and the not so privileged alike. Yet what Chloe notices the most is the privacy the atmosphere affords them. A perfect place for a US Senator to meet with a reporter about her other worldly son and not have it publicized and plastered all over the evening news. A perfect place for an inquisition, with no hope of interruption or eavesdropping ears to keep Mrs. Kent from wanting facts and details and talking about Clark and ... What is she doing here? What will she say? Will Mrs. Kent really try to talk her into making up with Clark? Of course she will, she's his mother.

All at once, everything Chloe has been trying to avoid, all the thoughts and emotions she has been putting off, gather and rush her with the violence of a raging current, sucking out the air and drowning her. Chloe intakes a sharp breath, elbows on the table she lowers her head to her hands. She can't breathe. Is she having a panic attack? Her heart feels like it's about to burst from her chest. She has never had a panic attack before but is pretty sure she's having one now. It's all too much, for the past few days, she's been operating under a mostly numb awareness. Going through the motions. Then Martha comes, and everything... _everything _comes back _with _her. She cannot do this; it's too much, too soon. Chloe is fairly certain, she'll live a very long life, but not if her heart explodes and there is no doubt her heart is definitely about to explode. Why is she here? She should have declined. She's not prepared. Can she leave? All she has to do is leave, leave and the agony will stop. Easy. She'll just tell Mrs. Kent she forgot she has to turn in her article and excuse herself. Yeah, that will...

"So Chloe, tell me. How are things at the Daily Planet?" Martha asks suddenly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Chloe lowers her hands, breathing deeply to steady her erratic heart beat and hopefully quiet her panicky thoughts. This is Mrs. Kent... sweet, loving, understanding, Senator Kent. She can do this. All she has to do is get through lunch, little less than an hour. "Fine." She chokes, then clears her throat. "The Planet is... fine." She finishes weakly; grabbing her tablecloth in her hands and begins twisting it nervously. Just get through lunch with Clark's mother. Easy.

Martha smiles, "Oh good. I heard one of your articles will be published." She sips her water glass.

The blonde freezes at her words, eyes narrow slightly in confusion, head tilts inquisitively. "How'd you hear about that? I only got the go-ahead a few hours ago"

The Senator chokes and pats her chest. "Well..." She begins, unsure of how to respond. How did she hear about it? Clark? She answers silently, but is certain that knowledge will work against her purpose. With much chagrin, she decides slight dishonesty is the best thing at this point. Clark definitely has some explaining to do. "...word travels fast when it comes to up and coming star reporters." Martha smiles and is satisfied when Chloe reciprocates with a genuine bright smile of her own.

"Grant approved it for the front page." Chloe chirps, though Martha can see the excitement doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I mean it's not my first front page byline. But it's always nice to see your name on page one. To be able to deliver the truth to the uninformed and hopefully justice to the wrong and for the victims." She shrugs. "It's what I've always wanted."

"I'm so proud of you Chloe. It's so wonderful to see all of your hard work and dedication paying off." Martha says warmly.

"Yeah." Chloe breathes out wistfully, a frown settling on her face. Hard work and dedication, only in my career though, Chloe grouses silently. And, why isn't that enough? It should be enough.

Pained at seeing this young woman she considers a daughter hurting, Martha broaches what she's certain is a fragile subject, given her son's reaction. Unable to overlook it, Clark is hurting, Chloe is obviously hurting as well and Martha needs to understand the reason for all of this pain. "Chloe..." She starts slowly, hesitantly. The last thing she wants is to inflict more agony, but she has to know if this can be resolved. "...Clark told me about the fight."

The blonde grimaces at her words, diverting her eyes from Martha, she nods tensely. "Uh huh..." Then begins biting her lip nervously. There goes her heart rate again. Chloe commences her twisting and wrestling with the tablecloth, until Martha's gentle touch, halts her unprogressive fidgeting.

"Chloe, what happened sweetie? I'm just trying to understand."

Nodding again, Chloe breathes deep. Understand. She is just trying to understand. Not trying to convince her to make up with Clark. Because honestly right now, she can admit she is too weak to give much of a fight. It's all right though. Mrs. Kent just wants to understand. "Um... I guess Clark didn't tell you about Lana."

Martha purses her lips tightly before answering. "I know about Lana. Yes."

The younger girl nods again, her neck appearing to be on autopilot, she looks down at her hands. "So you know about Lex and Lionel and the money?"

A sharp inhale from Martha has Chloe snapping her head upward. "No. No I didn't." Martha says curtly.

Chloe swallows hard. Damn it! It's not her place to tell her these things. "Um... I didn't mean... I shouldn't... God!" She lowers her head to her hands frustrated with her inability to explain herself. She's better at words than this.

"Chloe." Martha calls, waiting to get the younger woman's attention. "Chloe, it's alright. You don't have to tell me anything."

Removing her hands slowly, Chloe swallows and again nods, thankful for the reprieve.

"I want to know about you... and Clark." She says carefully.

Chloe meets her eyes. The sadness and grief reflected so vividly, Martha has to swallow back her own tears. Beginning quietly, Chloe says, "He just forgave her Mrs. Kent." Then grimaces.

"Martha." The older woman corrects.

"Martha... he just let it go, as if it were a normal everyday occurrence and... and even made excuses for her and I just couldn't." Chloe shakes her head, shutting her eyes to hold back the tears she felt building behind them. She will not cry for him... for this anymore. "I know he loves her Martha." Chloe opens her sad pale green eyes. "I know this, but to forgive her anything. I thought better of him, you know. She's not even remorseful for what she did... I just couldn't."

The Senator nods, the picture becoming clearer to her. "So that's when you asked for some space?"

"Yeah. I did not want our friendship to end, but I needed some time away from them. I needed time to deal... to deal with my disappointment in him... deal with my anger toward Lana, and he... I don't know, Clark just couldn't understand I guess." She finishes with a shrug.

"And that's when you fought?" Martha probes further.

"Yeah." Chloe shuts her eyes tightly, trying desperately to cut off the constant instant replay in her mind, though it has been days and she has not yet been able to accomplish that feat. "We fought... " Opening her eyes, she adds. "I really do want to forgive them. This... to end our friendship was never my intention." She breathes. "I was just going to take some time for myself, get a handle on my own feelings and go back to being their friend, without all of the animosity and hard feelings, but Clark..." She trails off with a shake her head.

"So..." Martha begins only to be interrupted by the waiter delivering their orders. Once he departs, she continues, watching Chloe as she listlessly pushes her food around with her fork. "I know how you've always felt about Clark, Chloe."

Chloe nods, her eyes unfocused on her plate. "I guess that's no big secret."

Smiling sadly, "Maybe not to me." Martha admits.

"I just want to be like Jules you know, dancing contentedly with my best friend at their wedding reception." She says, her voice far off as if she is envisioning just that.

" ...even Jules fought for what she wanted Chloe." Martha counters after swallowing

The blonde glances up hesitantly, a wry smile on her face. "Is this the part where we break out into song? I think we're missing Rupert Everett's tenor." She says lightly, hoping to diffuse some of the tension.

"I can hold my own." Martha laughs.

Chloe shakes her head, the small grin disappearing from her face. Yet remaining thankful for the lighter air. "I am... " Chloe meets Martha's eyes directly, the blonde's gaze is steady and unwavering, along with her response. " ...I'm fighting to let go and move on. I may love Clark, but what I want right now more than anything is _not _to. That may not happen. I may be destined to love your son forever, but I don't need this feeling to weigh me down or hold be back either. _That's _what I'm fighting for."

Stilling at Chloe's words, Martha studies the young woman in front of her for a moment. Scrutinizing the change, the growth so many may have missed. She has known Chloe since she was 13. At the time, she was a girl, just a pretty, inquisitive wide-eyed girl, but no longer. Now Chloe is a beautiful and knowledgeable woman. More than proud, Martha is in awe of her.

Reaching out a gentle hand to Chloe's, she squeezes lightly. "If it's any consolation, or if it helps any, I'm proud of you." Martha smiles sincerely. I'm so very proud of you Chloe." She affirms, seeing Chloe's eyes begin to water with emotion. "And I think you've made the right decision for yourself."

Swiftly, Chloe brushes an escaped tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "Thank you Martha." She chokes as the older woman's smile widens.

They both focus on their food for a moment, as a comfortable silence settles upon them. Martha is the first to speak. She has held back as long as she could, as she watched her lunch companion not eating. What she has to say, she knows needs to be heard.

"Chloe." Martha begins hesitantly. "I've always known how much Clark cares about you. I am _not_ in anyway attempting to change your mind. I just want you to know that Clark has always cherished your friendship, above all others, but Clark seems to be really confused, and I believe he isn't aware of his own mind right now."

"Why are you telling me this?" Chloe asks softly.

"Because in spite of everything. It would really sadden me, if you gave up on Clark. I know how much that will break him... and you. "

Chloe swallows, trying to dislodge the knot forming in her throat. She understands. "I'm not giving up on Clark. I know what he's capable of. I truly believe he will be _such _a great person and a force for good in this world. He will be a great man. I just…" She shuts her eyes, concealing the sudden whelm of emotion. "…I just… Clark will accomplish great things whether I'm in his life or not. I really don't see how I'd weigh in."

"I think you're wrong Chloe. You underestimate your influence on my son." Martha says kindly.

Frowning, Chloe whispers, "I don't think so…" Pausing briefly as the unwanted doubts form, beckoning to heard, she quiets them immediately. She is not needed in his life. She has known that for a long time. Her presence is not that important. Clark already has the people he needs… the people he wants in his life. No. Martha is mistaken.

"With all due respect..." Chloe says struggling with the remains of her strength, to hold back the barrage of emotions. Anymore of this and she's sure she will lose it. "... can we not discuss this anymore? It's really difficult for me."

Martha simply nods in understanding to her request. This response she can respect. She'd rather Chloe enjoy the rest of her uneaten lunch anyway.

--

"Clark?"

The gentle shaking of his shoulder and his name softly spoken, pulls him out of his now dreamless sleep. "Hmm?" His eyelids flutter open slowly. Dark hair hangs over him loosely; almond shaped eyes look down upon him. Lana.

"Clark? When's the last time you napped in the middle of the day?" Lana asks lightly, taking a seat on the edge of the sofa.

"I don't." He mumbles, followed by a yawn.

"Exactly." Lana narrows her eyes incredulously. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." He rises to a sitting position. How long was he asleep? Is he late for his 2pm Talon run? He looks at the clock. Good. He's got another hour.

The tiny brunette girl rolls her eyes, "Is that your answer for everything. Look..." She places her hand on Clark's arm. "... with your mom here, I just want to make sure we're on the same page. OK."

"Huh?" Clark turns to her, addled. What the hell is she talking about?

'Thanks so much Martha. I really enjoyed lunch.' _The girl's_ voice once again invades his mind. Clark can see Lana's mouth moving, but is unable to pull his focus away from Metropolis, away from _the girl,_ who seems intent on driving him crazy. 'I promise Martha...' He can hear the smile in her voice. 'I'll definitely call you.' What is she talking about? Martha? As in Martha _Kent_? She's talking to _his _mother, of all people? His own mother... a traitor! Clark releases a slow growl. How could she? Why would she... but maybe she convinced _the girl_ to see reason. Maybe his mom convinced her to talk to him. Maybe they'll even talk tonight. Clark was doubtful at first about her appearance at the dinner tonight but just maybe... God, his mom could do anything. Clark almost smiles at the thought... almost. He will wait and see the outcome before getting too happy. It's hardly over yet. He should prepare something to say. Maybe a speech of some sort? He is almost certain, that if he would have had a speech the last time he talked to her, things would have turned out differently. He's sure of it. But what would he say. Clark searches the living room around him. He needs some paper and a pen.

"Clark!" Lana shouts. "Damn it! Are you even listening to me?"

The Kryptonian snaps his head towards his scowling girlfriend. No, actually he wasn't. He was thinking about his speech. He will need some quiet time to gather his thoughts. Judging from the look on Lana's face, he won't be getting that here. The loft. He will need to relocate to his loft. Lana first then the loft and his speech. She was saying something about being on the same page. Whatever. Clark inwardly shrugs. "Look, Lana everything will be fine OK. Tonight we're having a family dinner and everything will be fine." Especially after his speech to _the girl_.

"Whatever you say Clark." Lana huffs, rising from the sofa. Whatever!

--

When Martha pulls up in the driveway 3 hours later, she calls Clark from his loft to bring the grocery bags into the house. Arriving at the car, Clark cannot help but voice the thoughts that have been circling his mind.

"You went to see Chloe behind my back." He accuses.

Martha intakes a sharp breath, narrowing her eyes at her son. "Excuse me!"

"You went to see Chloe and you didn't tell me. You lied to me about your meeting in Metropolis." He can hear the words coming out of his mouth, can hear his accusatory tone, but for the life of him, he can't stop it.

"First, Clark..." Martha begins calmly. Holding on to her anger with practiced ease. "I don't answer to you. Chloe and I have a relationship outside of your friendship with her. Second, explain to me why you have been listening to her! Because I must say, I am sorely disappointed in you Clark. You could not even imagine my shame, when I congratulated her on an article she _had not _told anyone about except Lois."

Clark turned his eyes downward, a deep flush rising to his cheeks, having enough sense to feel slightly ashamed. What can he say? He's not doing it on purpose and then someone has to look out for _the girl_... she gets into a lot of trouble. How is he supposed to keep her safe and monitor her, if he can't see her? He has to listen out for her, it's the only way.

"How could you Clark? I know you have the power to do it, but that does _not _make it right. I thought Jonathan and I raised you better than that. Invading that poor girl's privacy, I... I don't know what to say." She shakes her head, disappointed and sorrowful.

"It was an accident." He voices weakly, in an attempt to explain. "It just keeps happening. It won't stop and... and I can't control it."

"Well try harder Clark!" Martha exclaims, ending the discussion and his excuses. "Get the groceries out of the back seat. Dinner starts at seven." She says brusquely, walking toward the house, not at all pleased with what has been occurring in her absence.

Entering the kitchen, Clark close on her heels effortlessly holding three paper grocery bags in his arms, Martha sees Lana standing in back of the kitchen island, hands splayed on the counter top, apparently waiting for her.

Offering a wide smile in greeting, Lana walks toward Martha. "Mrs. Kent, how good to see you?"

Hugging the petite girl, she smiles as well. "Same to you Lana." Releasing her she moves to begin unpacking the bags. "Did Clark tell you about the dinner tonight? I would love your help in preparing it." She says warmly.

"Of course." Lana chirps.

"Clark go keep yourself busy." His mother orders, then amends with. "Or better yet, go tell Kara the time for dinner."

The big Kryptonian nods in obedience before disappearing speedily. He's not sure what his mom is going to say to Lana, but judging by the look in her eyes, and that he's mastered the interpretation of his mom's expressions, which he has, he sure did not want to be around to hear it.

After a long moment of silence, both women moving around the kitchen and around each other comfortably, gathering supplies and organizing the food. Lana breaks in. "So Mrs. Kent, how's Washington?"

"It's just fine dear. Politics can be very rewarding work. But it's not easy trying to be the voice, for so many who cannot be heard."

Lana nods, having nothing to offer to that.

"That foundation you started... how's that going?" Martha asks, distracted with separating the vegetables.

Lana smiles genuinely, "Great! I love being able to help people. Especially the meteor infected. After what Lex has been doing to them, it feels really good, that I'm able to give back and offer assistance to those he's wronged."

"Is that why you do it?" The Senator asks coolly.

"Do what?" Lana asks, gathering the vegetables from Martha and placing them on the cutting board.

"Help the meteor infected?" She clarifies, placing the can in her hand on the counter and facing Lana directly, giving the tiny girl her full attention. "Do you just see it as another way to get back at Lex?"

Heedless to Martha's scrutiny, Lana continues chopping up the green-leaf lettuce for the salad. "No. I mean..."

"...and how are you able to afford such a foundation?" Martha asks, cutting off Lana's words.

The dark haired girl stills at the question. "Um... from my... divorce settlement." She answers unconvincingly.

"Really?..." Martha begins, turning back to her task. She grabs the can and moves to the electric can opener by the sink. "I'm fairly good friends with Lionel, and I recall during one of our business luncheons, him informing me of large amounts of money going missing from Luthor Corp. accounts. I spoke to Lionel recently..." Martha continues remembering the conversation she'd had with the elder Luthor just an hour ago on her drive back. "...and it appeared the money that was routinely withdrawn, oddly enough over the course of your marriage to Lex, just seemed to stop all of a sudden. I didn't get the exact amount, but he's certain it's in the millions." The Senator shakes her head and chuckles humorlessly. "Then one day, coincidently the day you supposedly 'died', so did the mysterious withdrawals." Martha says lightly, as if they were discussing the news or an article in the paper.

Lana's heart pounds ferociously in her chest. She breathes deep hoping she can explain levelly without her nervousness betraying her. "Mrs. Kent." She starts, only to be stopped by Martha turning abruptly to face her. Her eyes blazing furiously. For a heart beat skipping moment, Lana considers the ludicrous idea that Clark may have actually _not _been adopted. Afraid one false move and the Kent matriarch would reduce her to ashes.

The Senator speaks, her voice eerily calm, in definite contrast to the heat in her penetrating gaze. "I really don't care how you got the money Lana. That is between you and the Luthors. What I care about is _my son_. And what you do to _my son_ and how _what _you do affects him and this family."

"I would never hurt Clark." Lana says lowly. A frown forming on her beautiful features.

"What happens in the future remains to be seen." Martha says easily brushing off the girl's weak statement as irrelevant and inconsequential. "I'm referring to what you've _already _done."

Turning back to the kitchen sink, Martha turns on the faucet and begins to wash her hands. Assured she has the tiny girl's attention, she continues. "For years, Clark debated sharing his secret with you. Could you be trusted with the knowledge? Would you still love him? Would you look at him differently? Then finally, he revealed his truth to you. Do not forget that it's a privilege to be given this knowledge. It bears significant weight and responsibilities, and in one moment you selfishly destroyed the gift given to you, dropped the weight of it and shrugged off the responsibility... "

Lana swallows thickly, "I..." She begins but Martha's not nearly done.

Looking out of the window, over her family's farmland, Martha goes on. "I know that gaining my son's abilities was not your fault; that you didn't ask for them; that it was some freak accident. This _is_ Smallville, things like that happen. I understand that, but I can't overlook what you did with them while you had them."

Shutting her eyes tightly, Lana breathes. "It was the powers Mrs. Kent."

Martha waves a dismissive hand at her words, turning back to face her. "I'm sorry. I'm not buying that Lana. Clark has had his abilities all of his life and he's still my sweet boy. My Jonathan had Clark's abilities for about as long as you and he used them for a good purpose. Even Lionel, when he was in prison, had Clark's abilities for a time..." At Lana's sharp inhale and widening eyes, Martha smiles wryly. "You didn't know that did you? Anyway, Lionel was still the same wicked ruthless man with the same wicked ruthless intentions. Nothing changed, but he did not attack everyone that came across his path. The fact is, Lex hurt you and you wanted to make him pay. It's as simple as that. The same with the money and the same with your foundation." She moves toward the tiny brunette coming to a stop in front of the counter, facing her directly Martha continues.

"...But that's not even what concerns me Lana. Again, that is between you and Lex. My biggest problem is with you putting everything Jonathan and I have worked to protect at risk."

Lana shakes her head. "I didn't..."

"Oh sweetie, you did." The older woman insists, though her tone's consoling, her words are laced with iron. "Jonathan and I dedicated our lives to protecting Clark. Not just his secret, but _him_. He's our son and we love him." Martha chokes, overcome with emotion briefly and then clears her throat. Smiling wistfully, her eyes focused on something beyond Lana, only visible to her, she adds. "I loved him. From the time I first held Clark, I loved him, and vowed, come what may, I would protect him, because I'm his mother." She turns her eyes back to Lana, pinning her with a sharp and decisive stare. "...and in one moment, because of your selfish need for revenge, you carelessly wielded my son's powers, in the _open _Lana." Emphasizing on the last words. "Not only putting yourself at risk, but also Clark and his secret, this farm... and me."

"Martha…" Lana chokes plaintively.

The Senator pushes on, not caring for any excuses the tiny brunette could conjure up. Her voice like steel, "You attacking Lex, attacking Lois, that was wrong Lana. However, I'm sure you already know that. If they chose not to contact the authorities regarding that, that is really their decision. That's between you and both of your victims. My main concern is my son and this family. I will not allow you to compromise Clark or Kara's safety. Do you understand me?"

Lana nods mutely, choking back her tears.

Martha nods in return, taking a breath before stating. "Now, Clark loves you and I wholly respect that. You can have an indefinite lease to stay here as long as Clark wishes. But do not be confused. I still own this farm, and if I feel that you are a risk to my family's stability and security, I will not hesitate to rescind the offer of residence here. Clark's love or not. You both can still maintain a healthy relationship residing in two separate places." She snorts, "Honestly I would prefer it. I don't agree with shacking up in the least, but..." She trails off with a shrug. Getting back on point, she narrows her eyes at the chastised girl. "Am I making myself clear?"

Lana brushes a lone tear from her cheek. "Yes. Mrs. Kent." She says quietly.

Martha smiles, "I'm glad to hear it." She claps her hands together brightly, the discussion now ending, having gotten that out of the way, Martha's ready to cook. "Shall we get started?"

--

The loud rapid succession of knocks on the front door, startles Clark out of his mental recitation. For the last hour and half, he'd been sitting in the living room with Lana cuddled beside him, blindly watching people moving and speaking on the television while his mind repeats over and over what he's going to say to _her_.

Jumping up from his spot quickly, he shouts, "I'll get it..." and blurs to the front door. Taking a moment to collect himself he takes a calming breath, swinging the door open, Clark freezes in place.

"Don't look so happy to see me Smallville." Lois says flatly.

Clark inadvertently looks past her, over her shoulder, searching. "What are you doing here Lois?"

The statuesque brunette rolls her eyes at his greeting. "What do you think hayseed? I was invited." She smiles sweetly, noticing Clark's continual glances behind her. "Let me guess, you were expecting a cute spunky blonde instead." She says teasingly, pushing past Clark's huge form crowding the doorway.

At her words, his countenance immediately falls. His disappointment is palpable. For a brief moment, Lois feels bad for him, but when he utters, a soft "No." in response, she remembers herself and pats Clark condescendingly on the back.

"Good." She says briskly.

Clark stands still for a moment, sightlessly watching the driveway. Bracing himself on the doorframe, fists clutching the doorknob tightly, sure to leave a dent. He breathes, in, out. In and out. He needs to calm down. It's his own fault. He'd known better than to get his hopes up. Yet still… Damn it! Clark shuts his eyes tightly. The _beast _inside mewls in despair. He'd known better. Clark chides himself for hoping. No more hoping, he promises. Never again!

"Clark sweetie. Close the door." His mother calls from the kitchen. In response, he shuts the door quietly.

"Lois." Lana smiles in greeting, sounding almost happy to see the taller brunette. "I didn't know you were coming."

Halting her steps abruptly in the living room, Lois grimaces. " ...and I didn't know you wouldn't be serving twenty to life." She shrugs walking past the stricken girl. "I guess the world is full of surprises."

"Kara…" Lois smiles. "I remember you telling me you guys had a pest control problem."

Kara giggles as Lois leans in. "I have a guy friend at the Metropolis PD that can take care of the problem for you."

The blonde laughs, grabbing Lois' arm and ushering her into the kitchen as Clark slowly enters the living room. His face hard and stoic.

"I would love it, but I fear Ka… " She clears her throat, trying to hide her slip. She's certain there will be a lot of that tonight. " … Clark would not allow it." She finishes as Lois plops her bag onto the kitchen counter.

"Oh well." Lois shrugs. She'd known that, still it didn't hurt to offer, anything to help a friend. It would have been her pleasure.

"Lois... " Martha smiles warmly, stepping away from the stove to encircle the brunette in her arms. " ...I am so glad you could make it." She emphasizes with a light squeeze, before going back to the stove top.

"Anytime Mrs. K. I can't tell you how much I've missed your cooking." She chuckles lightly. "Or any meals that didn't come from a box, for that matter."

"Thank you… you, kids go on and sit at the table." She looks over Lois' shoulder into the living room to Clark, who's standing in the center, stiff as a statue, looking for all the world like a lost boy. "Clark, honey, come help me place the food."

He nods tensely, trudging into the kitchen quietly.

Once everything is set and the food has all been served, or rather, everyone has served themselves and began to eat; a deafening hush settles around the table. Except for a few whispered words here and there, the table is silent. An unacknowledged tension hovering in the air so thick, Martha is stifled.

Clark sits silently at the one end, eyes never leaving his plate. Martha doesn't think she has ever seen her son eat so little. She turns to Lana, who seems to be daintily eating small bites, occasionally glancing at Clark or Lois. While Lois and Kara seem to be in their own world whispering amongst themselves about hair bands and Cosmo magazines.

Martha sighs. This is not going well at all. "So Lois, how are things going at the Planet?"

Lois grins proudly. "Great Mrs. K." then frowns in thought. "…Well I haven't really gotten anything printed yet, because the new editor is a half wit, jack-aaaa…" She trails off, remembering in who's company she's in and continues. "… he wouldn't know good journalism if it flew through his window on a space ship."

Martha almost chokes at Lois' words, while Kara guffaws.

"Do you believe in all that?" Kara asks lightly. "Space ships and little green men?"

Lois shakes her head. "Nah… but Chloe sure does. She insists that there has to be life on other planets." She chuckles. Then snorts, grabbing Kara's arm, "...and get this… she has this ridiculous theory, that aliens probably look just like us. You know, humanoid."

Kara nods, laughing as well. "Yeah. Ridiculous." She says. "But didn't you see a space ship?"

"Kara!" Martha calls, a note of reproach in her voice.

"It's alright Mrs. K." She addresses Martha, misinterpreting the older woman's intent. Turning back to Kara, she responds. "I saw something that _looked _like a spaceship. But I'm sure it was some type of advertising prop." She snorts. "I mean, this is Smallville after all, Meteor capital of the world."

"Idiot." Lois hears Lana whisper from across the table.

"Excuse me." Lois hisses through clenched teeth, shooting a venomous glare at the smaller girl.

"Nothing." Lana answers, glancing at both Martha then Clark, who appears to be somewhere else entirely, completely detached from what's going on around him.

Lois nods, eyes never leaving Lana. "That's what I thought."

Martha clears her throat, "Eat up everyone, there's plenty of food." She says in an effort to try to defuse what can become a very volatile situation.

Lois smiles toward Martha, "Anyway… speaking of national security and threats to civilization. I really need to get Chloe's laptop back, so if you can Kara, after dinner?" Kara nods in acquiesce as she swallows. No one notices Clark's head popping up for the first time since he joined the table.

The Senator takes a moment to inquire. "Why does Kara have Chloe's laptop?"

"The other laptop... well Clark… " Lana begins.

"I had a little accident with ours." Kara interjects, cutting off Lana's words; glancing at her silent yet now very alert cousin before adding. "Um… it kind of crashed."

Martha frowns in thought, shrugging, she addresses Clark, "Well, Clark, sweetie give Kara the money for a new one out of the Farm's account. We can write it off as a business expense." Turning to Kara, she amends. "Be sure to take Chloe with you, she'll be able to help you get the best with the money."

Kara nods obediently, oblivious to Clark's inner indignation. WHAT! He shouts internally. He is fuming and he can feel the _beast _sharing the sentiment. Snarling and grumbling furiously inside of him. Kara gets to see Chloe and I can't! What!

Lois turns to Kara, "Well I guess I can wait for you to buy a new one. Chloe will just have to deal." Lois laughs. "Do you know she's been harassing me everyday for the last four about it?" She rolls her eyes. "Droning on and on about it having sensitive information on it. That, that laptop… Watson she calls it. Who names a laptop?" The brunette chuckles. "She says Watson has _all _of her secrets."

"Well if it's that important to her, maybe Kara should give it back right away." Martha offers lightly.

"Pffts." Lois waves her hand dismissing the idea. "Chloe will be alright. She's managed this long."

"Watson." Clark growls, the low timber creeping over the table, silencing the occupants. His eyes cuttingly sharp and fixed on Lois. "She's keeping her secrets, on a fucking _machine_?!" Clark snaps. Everyone's head abruptly turns toward him at his outburst. "How irresponsible can she be? Is she stupid? She just doesn't think sometimes does she?" He grips the fork in his hand so tight it folds, snapping in two.

Lois' eyes widen incredulously. "Well, I hope it's not the good silverware." She says coolly.

"Clark... " Martha cautions. " ...calm down."

Clark goes on ignoring his mother, even shrugging off Lana's gentle touch on his forearm. "Why wouldn't she just talk to... to _someone _if she has something to say. She has to share her secrets with a freakin' computer? She knows better. Anyone can get a hold of it. She's a fucking hacker! She _knows_!" He shouts. This is unbelievable. What information does she have, that she would feel the need to share with anyone but him? And now Kara, Clark turns narrowed eyes at his treacherous cousin. The blond Kryptonian sits silently in observation. Now _she's _going to be talking to Kara, and telling her _their _secrets! A snarl escapes his chest as the beast rumbles uncontrollably. Is Kara going to become her new best friend now? His cousin fit's the requirements. She's Kryptonian, and even better, she's a girl. They can go shopping together and talk about guys together. Clark sneers at his cousin. She's not going to replace him with the irrelevant photographer. She's going to replace him with his own flesh and blood family. That evil bitch! He never saw this one coming. Clark surveys all the woman at the table. He's surrounded by betraying women. None of them can be trusted.

Lois snorts. "Are you done with your little outburst there, John Conner?" She rolls her eyes. "I doubt Chloe harbors the secret code to Skynet. The fate of the world does not reside in her little old laptop. The universe isn't at risk from my little cousin's encrypted pictures of little Clark in the shower. Trust me; the only risk is to your pride." She chuckles.

"What!" Lana's head pops up at that. While Kara snickers beside Lois.

Lois laughs wickedly. "Oh you didn't know Clark and I had some naked encounters, did you princess?"

Kara bursts out laughing. Clark tunes them out, disgruntled and petulantly pouting; he shovels food rapidly into his mouth. Fucking women!

Lana sputters incensed. Lois feigns wide-eyed innocence. "Don't worry, they were all accidental."

"I wasn't worried." Lana lies.

"Yeah sure you're not!" Lois chuckles.

"Surely you do not have to prevaricate Lana." Kara chimes in condescendingly. "Even I would be concerned if my mate was on the nudist welcoming committee."

A burst of laughter sounds from Lois. "Good one Kara!"

Kara nods gleefully. "I thought so."

Martha remains wide eyed watching the occupants at the table. Turning her head from one person to the other, her eyes finally landing on her unobservant son. What the hell is going on here?

"But that's only when he's not playing her beck and call boy!" Lois laughs. Turning to Lana, she adds. "When Smallville isn't your brainwashed lap dog."

Lana opens and closes her mouth flabbergasted, completely at a loss for words. "Clark..." She turns toward him, but Clark is so far gone, she knows she will not be getting assistance from him. He continues in his rumination in a world of his own making. Lana rolls her eyes at him. What the hell is going on with him? Her narrowed gaze returning to Lois she says as prudently as she can, "Clark has never been my lap dog, Lois. We love each other."

Lois snorts humorlessly, "You love each other?" She asks incredulously. "That's why you tried to off him when you were on your meteor rock bender right? Because he's the love of your pathetic life."

"What!" This came from a stunned Martha. That detail was never revealed to her. She turns her bewildered gaze toward Lana.

Lana cringes, "I never... " Shaking her head, she amends with. "... I mean, it was an accident. I was drugged." She offers in defense

"Yeah whatever princess." Lois dismisses.

Placing her fork down, Lana addresses Lois directly. "Look Lois…" She begins softly; one would almost think she's sincere. " … I know I never apologize for hurting you. But I really am sorry."

Lois stares at her for a long intense moment, before saying finally. "So it's Glenda the good witch tonight?" Dipping her hand in her glass of water Lois splashes Lana in the face. The smaller girl gasps at the assault as Kara howls in laughter and Lois shrugs. "I had to know if you'd melt."

In the midst of all of this, as the chaos ensues around him, Clark watches Lana intently, brows furrowed in concentration, his eyes studying and searching. Who is she? He admits silently, that he can hardly recognize this girl sitting at his table. She looks like she always did. Dark flowing tresses, soft tan skin, exotic petite features. As beautiful as always but… not. All of these things the same, but she seems so unfamiliar to him. A stranger. Yet he loves her? For the first time he wonders, if he even knows her.

Lana fumes, rising from her chair, her hands braced on the table. "That was completely uncalled for."

Lois rises as well, along with her ire. "No. What was uncalled for was being the stunt dummy for your mini-me Trinity impersonation. You are _not _sorry. And honestly neither am I." Turning to Martha, Lois lowers her voice respectfully. "I'm sorry Mrs. K., but I'm not going to sit across from her and pretend everything is just light and pink in Lana's umpa lumpa land. It's a lie. She's a lie. And the truth of the matter is…" She turns back to Lana, glaring hotly. "… if we weren't in polite company. I'd yank your little boney ass across..."

"That. Is. Enough!" Martha commands, also rising at the table, putting a stop to this circus. "Everyone sit down!" She shouts, claiming everyone's attention, including Clark's.

Lois lowers herself back to her seat, looking sheepish. "Sorry. Mrs. K." She offers quietly.

"Don't be sorry. Just listen!" She turns toward Lana and back toward Lois. "You girls need to work this out. Lana you wrongfully attacked Lois, for whatever reason. I don't care, it's irrelevant. An apology, a week and a half after the fact is unacceptable. This world does not revolve around you or operate on your whim. Expecting everyone to just bow down and accept the way you treat them… frankly it is selfish and quite a Luthorian way of thinking. A mentality that is insupportable in the Kent household. Despite what you may have been led to believe…" She glances toward her son briefly. "…we hold each other accountable for our actions in this house. Now Lois…" She turns to the larger brunette. "… Lana has apologized. Please be reasonable. I am not sure what more you want from her."

"I'm sorry Mrs. K., but I do not accept her half-assed apology. The only thing that psychotic princess can do for me at this point is pay... " Lois states, eyes cutting into Lana. She grabs the bag by her feet and pulls out a thin scroll tied in a red bow. "Here are my hospital bills and the amount for my physical therapy sessions." She holds it out in front of Lana's face. "You can write the check out to Smallville Medical Center, then maybe I'll consider calling off the hit I have out on you." Lois smirks.

Martha's unable to prevent the small smile from forming on her face, at how brazen and blunt Lois can be. It is somewhat refreshing, when it isn't nerve gnawing. "That sounds fair." She turns back to Lana, who reaches a tentative hand out, accepting the scroll. "I assume you have the money to pay for it?"

Lana nods slowly. Kara snorts.

"Kara." Martha snaps. "I'm not even sure what to say to you." She shakes her head. "You really need to work on your ability to instigate and cheer on confrontations. While it may be funny to you, you have to keep in mind, that it is not amusing to the ones in disagreement."

Kara lowers her head, having the decency to feel ashamed… a little anyway. "I'm sorry Aunt Martha. But hu…" she stops herself glancing hesitantly at Lois beside her. "…I mean, it's just quite entertaining to watch them argue. We did not disagree so openly back home. It's so much better than Springer." At Martha's glare, her smile falters. "Sorry." She whispers. Yet inside, still as giddy as a child on Christmas day.

Martha sighs and turns her attention to her son. "Clark." He looks up at his mother, fearful of what she may say. "Where are you? Your outburst… you're distant and distracted. You have got to do better. This is your house and your home. You, Clark are supposed to be the man of this house. You have got to take up the responsibilities." Sighing again, tiredly. "You've got to grow up! Your behavior, your lack of control over the residents here and over yourself… it is unacceptable. I won't always be here." She lowers herself back to the chair. "You are the authority in my absence. At this rate, there will be no house for me to come home to once my term is over." She shakes her head, not knowing what else to say. "You've got to grow up Clark!"

Looking around the table, at all the downcast expressions, Martha breathes. Hoping she'd gotten through to them, that at least they can be trusted to be left unsupervised. Truthfully, she's actually looking forward to going back to Washington. To the quiet. "Who wants dessert?"

--

"Why didn't you show up tonight?" Clark asks the small blonde sitting in his lap at the dinner table. His right hand rubbing gently up and down her exposed leg. Fingertips grazing the soft flesh of her inner thigh. His left hand flat on her stomach under her shirt. Leaning forward he brushes a kiss on her neck.

"You knew I wouldn't be here." She says breezily. Playing with the food in front of her.

"Yeah... " Clark breathes into her skin. His left hand inching upward under her shirt. Hesitant to move faster, he does not want her to stop him. "...but I wanted you to be."

"I know..." She answers coolly, raising her hand to circle around him; she begins to play with the nape of his neck. Running light fingers up and down and threading her fingers in his hair. "...but it wouldn't have helped."

Clark shudders from her attention. His left hand moving upward still, he can feel his thumb brush against the bottom swell of her breasts. Shit! She's not wearing a bra. He growls. His body instantly arousing beneath her, as his heart begins to pound ferociously in his chest. He needs this. His right hand grips her thigh tightly, as Chloe pushes back into him, soliciting an uncontrolled hiss from the big alien. In response, he bites lightly on her ear.

"You've got to eat... conserve your energy. You'll need it Kal-El"

"Uh uh…" Clark moves to her neck, sucking and worrying the tender flesh with his mouth. "I'm not hungry for food." He flicks a purposeful finger over her pert breast, and licks her neck meaningfully. Chloe grinds further onto his lap. He intakes a sharp breath from the exquisite pressure. More. He wants more.

Chloe turns her head, craning her neck to face him. "Do you think you're ready?"

Clark is breathless as he gazes down at her. His chest heaving and if he didn't know better, he'd be certain, he's about to spontaneously combust. He's burning inside and out. He's burning and scorching for more. He needs more contact. More Chloe.

"Ready for what?" He gasps, as she raises her head and presses her lips to his. He's spinning, his head is reeling. The room gyrates and swerves around him. The moment her tongue brushes lightly against his lips, he is sure he's going to lose his mind.

Opening his mouth, he accepts her, allowing the kiss to deepen. Clark breathes her in, tentatively meeting her tongue with his. He's falling as she strokes the inside of his mouth. He can't breathe as he explores the inside of hers. Lifting his right hand from her thigh, Clark grabs her hip like a lifeline. He's falling far and fast with nothing to control his descent. Sparks and fires roar inside of him, outside of him, all around him. As her tongue continues to dance with his, continues caressing and stroking, taming him, heedless to his world crumbling around him.

Clark can feel the change occurring but is powerless to stop it. Powerless to _stop _at all. Powerless to Chloe. A part of him is terrified, especially when she changes position, to deepen the kiss. Heightening in it's intensity, turning everything to ash. He's hungry, yet scared to demand more. He craves what's beyond this, yet is terrified of it. The kisses increase, becoming almost frantic and ravenous. Chloe circles her arms around his neck, securing him to her.

His hands grab her waist, massaging and kneading the supple skin. The _beast_, now residing right at the surface of him, demands everything. Screams and howls for completion.

When suddenly Chloe pulls back. Clark breathes heavily. Trying to gain calm and still the turbulence in him. "You're still not ready Kal-El... " She says, smiling brightly. The hope in her eyes, sparkling like pure gems. "...but you're close."

Perplexed, he gazes down at her, lips parted, his face flushed with heat. Does he know what she means? He thinks he has an idea. He can feel the shattered world around him, the crumbled remnants of what used to be. Everything destroyed and only Chloe holds the key to repairing it. He belongs to her now. Is a slave to her. God, he is so terrified… and so eager.

Rising slightly she turns around, then lowers to straddle his legs, Chloe leans in, placing slow open mouth kisses on his neck and throat. Clark's head rolls back at the sensation, releasing a guttural moan. Her hands seem to be everywhere and nowhere. Scarring his skin, claiming him. It is still not enough, and yet it is too much.

He whimpers as her hands slide up his abdomen to his chest under his shirt. It's too much. Still he needs more. He can't decide. He wants everything, the _beast_… no him. What's happening? He wants… no, needs more. Craving the change, but still petrified. Afraid of what this transformation entails. He wants to stop, yet knows he can't, and won't survive without it. Without her. He hungers for her. Everything in him screams and yearns to continue, accept it and surrender. Clark wants… he doesn't know what he wants. Chloe is right. He's not ready.

"It's OK. Kal-El." Chloe whispers. Pulling her hands out of his shirt, she circles them around him, soothingly running her hands up and down his back. "It's OK. Just rest."

Clark lowers his head to the top of hers, as he enfolds her in his arms. He breathes deep. Breathing all of her. Chloe surrounds him. She is everything… and he wants _everything_. Shutting his eyes slowly. He will rest and be ready. He has to be. He needs to be.

"Just rest." She repeats.


	27. SUBSTITUTION Four

SUBSTITUTION Four (Day 10)

* * *

A disturbingly tense silence has descended upon the Kent house the morning after the dinner from hell. It's so staggering that even Clark in his consistent distraction can't avoid noticing. However, Clark isn't sure if it's the disastrous dinner that has brought about the feeling of oppression in the house or his fight with Lana afterwards. His mother doesn't seem to be affected, Clark decides that it must have been the fight.

After dinner, when Lois had said her goodbyes and his mother excused herself for the night. He, Kara and Lana were left to clean up the kitchen in the aftermath. Clark should have known then what was coming, by the scathing looks Lana continually shot his way, while she separated and contained the food for storage. Unfortunately for Clark, he was as unsuspecting as always, his mind clouded with thoughts of laptops and sensitive information, and receiving intermittent whispers from the girl of quiet sobs and tears that stole his breath and made his chest ache with longing to go to her. Yet he couldn't and that only proved to aggravate him further, and filled him with a protective fury, until all was silent. He figured she must have finally fallen asleep, and was very grateful for the reprieve from her pain; for himself and more importantly for her.

Clark followed Lana to the room that night, his intent has been to grab his pajamas to settle down on the sofa, but Lana had other ideas. Bristling with pent up anger, Lana went off. Shouting in hushed tones - because his mother was just across hall - about devotion and loyalty and him not being there for her when she needed him. It gave Clark pause for a moment. Dumbfounded, he wondered what he'd missed at dinner earlier. He remembered the laptop incident much to his own chagrin and his mother's words to him. He even recalled seeing the grotesque fury marring his girlfriends face, much like what he was witnessing at the moment. However that was all that came to mind, as Lana burned with rage. Having better judgment than to ask her why exactly she was angry, Clark meekly apologized, hoping this would appease her. He didn't really have the desire or energy to fight. It wasn't until Lana refused to let him vacate the room to sleep on the sofa that Clark gave in and began to engage her in the argument. He wasn't in the mood, and having her scream at him and threaten him with her leaving didn't help in the least. With his mood already sour combined with her inability to see past her own self-obsessed needs to even understand Clark's position about sharing a bed with her while his mother was in the house, proved to be too much for him to handle, not to mention he didn't appreciate being yelled at, caused him to snap. However, instead of relenting at his show of anger, Lana seemed to thrive on it, barking about them not sleeping together for the last night, waking up alone in the mornings and the lack of intimacy in their relationship until finally Clark had had enough of it and just left in the midst of her rant, shattering the door frame in his enraged departure.

That had been last night and this morning Clark's beginning to feel the effects. Drawing in a crushing oppression with every inhale of breath and releasing an apprehensive weariness in his exhalation. It's unbearable, so much so, that Clark fled to the fields promptly after returning from the Talon for breakfast. Is it just him or can everyone feel it?

As Clark walks the Kent farmland he wonders. His mom doesn't seem to be affected by it, she appeared to be as calm as usual, perhaps a bit of cautious concern for him reflected in her eyes, but she was still his serene mother, floating around the house, just another day on a farm for Martha Kent. So she's fine and he can't really blame it on Lana, who hasn't even come out of their room yet for the day, though she's been awake for a couple of hours now.

Clark releases a long suffering sigh, as his eyes gaze out upon the endless horizon. _Their _room, he muses silently. Their room felt more like a prison. It began this morning when he stealthy entered their shared space for a change of clothes - Lana was still lost in the depths of sleep at the time - when he took a brief moment to admire her, this inexplicable feeling came over him, sucking all of the air out of him. This feeling so sudden and so powerful Clark nearly collapsed from the weighty impact. Stumbling into his dresser, he righted himself and took in a deep shuddered breath. He'd felt as if he was suffocating, trapped with no means of escape. His surroundings felt entirely too tight. The bedroom walls began to narrow in on him with each steady rise and fall of Lana's chest as she slept. Her breathing was deep and even, and Clark looked on wide-eyed as he struggled to find his. He had to get out. Not even realizing he was moving, Clark stumbled out of the room, panicked.

He shakes his head, expelling the stifling memory. Yet it's more than just a memory. He can still feel it, not as extreme but it's still there. Clark turns his head towards the yellow farm house. He doesn't want to go back in there, he's at a loss of what to do. Clark wants to spend some time with his mom, but is so hesitant to feel that… that panic again. He doesn't know what to do… where to go, if he can't even bear to be in his own home then...

'LOIS! I swear to God, if you don't get Watson back in one piece I will find a way to reverse healing on you!' _The girl's _voice reverberates loudly in his head. Clark closes his eyes in reverie at the sound of her irate tone. He can almost see her faced flushing in anger, her magnificent eyes narrowed into deadly slits. Her petite body coming to life in her violent energy, the air around permeating and crackling with it.

"Chloe." He breathes out softly, her name like a prayer on his lips. Clark unconsciously turning to face Metropolis. Clark opens his eyes slowly as the tightened coils in his body unwind. He relaxes. She always comforts him, even when he doesn't realize it, her presence has always been a calming force in his life. A slow grin creeps to his lips in his reflection, and sometimes her presences isn't so calming. He can admit, only to himself of course, that there were times... very few, a minute percentage, barely a fraction, quite seldom really, but there were times when Clark found himself physically affected by her presence, her nearness. OK, who's he kidding. Sometimes, he was undeniably, very noticeably, aroused.

Though they were merely 'friends', ever since she kissed him in his barn loft, those 7 years ago, he couldn't help seeing her… frankly, as an attractive female. He remembers how shocked he'd been at her boldness. They were so young, and the idea of making a move on the opposite sex frightened the hell out of him, but not her. Even then she was a tiny ball of life and energy and goodness.

His smile widens as his mind replays the moment. His first kiss, a simple kiss really, a kiss of adolescence. Nevertheless, it awoke something fierce in him, something at the time he couldn't quite put a name to, something that has never quite gone away, that just simply laid dormant. He recalls the feel of her soft lips sliding against his, she tasted like cherries. Her hands were on him and his skin blazed from the heat, and her scent, a sweet scent that filled his senses to near distraction. Only Chloe existed at that moment. Afterwards, even with her proclamation of friendship, there was something deep in the hollows of him that knew it would never be. He wouldn't be able to look upon her as merely a friend, never again. Whatever 'just friendship' that could have been created between them died in that moment, before it ever really got a chance to live. Yet Clark can acknowledge, he had tried.

He walks to the wooden gate at on the side of the farm. Leaning against the railing he breathes deep, eyes still searching the sky beyond. For seven years almost eight, he'd tried, although he was uncomfortably aware at times of her very female, very attractive presence. He was a confused boy then, and though hating to admit it, he's a confused man now. He didn't know what to do back then. What his mind _knew _was completely and consistently at war with something instinctual and unknown inside of him and it all terrified him into inaction. Making him fall back on routine, and obsessively keep a hold on what he was used to. Lana. Lana was familiar. His love for her constant and unchanging. The feelings he had for Lana were stable and fixed. Chloe was scary and new. Everything with her... everything except friendship was uncertain and entirely too... heady.

Yet the entire constant internal battle crashed and fell to ruin the night she kissed him in the Daily Planet, before his confrontation with Zod. Her lips spoke to _the _something inside. The feel of her body assuaged the longing he unknowingly carried with him, a yearning he'd never known existed and the scent of her answered the unknown question that plagued him since he was 13. He'd belonged to her, in that moment, with the world crumbling around them, for the first time everything made sense. But then it didn't. He'd misunderstood again, the answer flew past him and he'd missed the mark when entered Jimmy Olsen stage left. At the memory, a low rumble escapes his throat, Clark unconsciously grips the wooden fence tightly, splitting it in half.

Looking down slowly, Clark views the art of his destructive hands and sucks in a long breath to temper his resentfulness. He has to stop. It all doesn't matter now. Except it does... if last nights dream was any indication. The first dream he can almost lay claim to since that awful day Chloe walked away from him. He can recall glimpses of it. Pieces of Chloe... near him, the feel of her, although it's all vague, he wouldn't be surprised if it was an erotic dream, considering the state he woke up in. Much to his embarrassment, Clark remembers a time in high school when Chloe featured in many of his wet-dreams. Though he can't recall this dream in it's entirety, he can remember the sensations clearly. It sticks with him still, he woke with it. He can feel the change it caused in him, around him, destroying his anger and bringing with it... What? Whatever it had been, he knows burned to a cinder the confusion and fear that he's held close to him since high school. Whatever it had been conjured up that moment of near clarity he'd experienced in Chloe's arms on Dark Thursday, yet it still feels slightly out reach, he can almost touch it... but not quite. Despite his inability to grasp it firmly, he knows whatever it is, is remaking him from the inside. And he's not quite sure how he feels about it.

--

"Mom?"

"Yes honey?" Martha looks up at his softly spoken voice. Sitting at the kitchen table, a file folder spread in front of her.

Clark sits across from his mother, a glass of orange juice nestled in between his hands. His eyes, focused yet unseeing on the beverage. "Does something feel different to you?" He asks quietly.

"Different how?" His mother places the pen she's holding on the table. Her back straightening, she gives him her full attention.

He shrugs. "I don't know. Just... different. Like everything's changing. Like everything's..." Clark struggles to find the appropriate word to describe what he's feeling, yet still comes with, "...different."

Martha pauses before responding, mulling over his question for a moment. She sifts through how she feels, what she's experienced and finally replies. "No."

Clark frowns head still bowed, eyes still locked on the glass. "I feel different." He says thoughfully.

--

"I was angry at you for awhile you know?" Clark holds Chloe close to him cradling himself in between her short clad thighs. Her legs wrapped around him as she sits on the wooden fence.

"I know. " She answers matter of fact, her hands resting on his waist. "I'm glad you've gotten over it." She lays the top of her head on his solid chest, her hands running lightly up and down his sides.

Clark lowers his chin to sit atop her bent head, tightening his arms around her drawing her closer to him. "You're doing something to me aren't you?"

"Not me." Chloe answers breezily. Raising her head, Clark raises his to allow her. She looks up at him, her eyes are brilliant in the afternoon light. "It's all you." She smiles.

He can't resist, he's powerless to resist the magnitism, lowering his head slowly he brushes his lips to hers, once, twice, three times before her hands rise and circle his neck to secure him. The kiss is sweet and innocent at first, but quickly grows in intensity as Clark slides his lips against hers. His arms tighten further and a moan of pleasure releases from the back of his throat when he meets his tongue to hers. Their mouths fuse together in a hungry dance, their tongues mingle in a ferocious battle. He can't get enough. Never enough, and when she slides her hands under his shirt and traces his abdomen, the feeling is too much, the blaze so furious Clark's knees buckle beneath him.

Falling to the grass, he brings her down with him. On top of him now, Chloe's relentless, moving her hips, grinding into his arousal in time with her roaming lips. He can't breathe. He needs more, he can feel it building. What? He can't be certain, but whatever it is, is monumental. Clark rolls them over, pulling back he heaves, gulping the much needed air.

He gazes down at her, as he rests his weight on his forearms. Gorgeous he thinks, as he drinks in the sight of her. Her golden hair fanned out around her head like a halo, her large bright green eyes, revealing everything for only him to see. Her elegant straight nose and her supple lips. "What are you doing to me?" Clark breathes.

Chloe smiles beguilingly in response. Lowering her hands to the hem of his shirt, she lifts it, raising it over his head. Clark assists her in discarding the garment and lowers himself back on top of her. He leans in to kiss her again, but this time the fires roar the instant his lips meet hers. He's hungry for her, ravenous really. He needs her. He's not sure what she doing to him, but whatever it is, he'll die if he can't touch her! With this in mind, he lowers his hands to her shirt, only fair that he reciprocates the action, her shirt too gets discarded quickly, then Clark is back, sucking her bottom lip in between his.

Chloe wraps her legs around him tightly, drawing him in deeper, closer. He begins to tremble at her attention. He can feel the makings of something in him, something new and as of yet indefinable. Clark trails slow nibbling kisses from her mouth, down to her neck. Sucking, nipping, teasing her addictive flesh. Descending to the valley between her breasts, he moves. One arm still supporting his weight, the other resting on her hip, he glides it up her thigh. Messaging and kneading her smooth flesh. Clark nudges the edge of her bra with his chin, and licks the now exposed breast. He groans at the taste and sharp feel of it on his tongue.

A growl forming at the back of his throat when he pulls the flushed peak into his mouth. Sucking hard and worrying it unceasingly with his tongue. This is what he wants, what he's needed. While his hand slowly caresses up her thigh towards her heated center, _the something_ in him shifts, drags and rearranges as he continues to feast on her flesh. One of her hands is in his hair massaging his scalp and supporting his head like a mother securing a suckling babe. Her other hand roams his back soothingly. Yet Clark is anything but soothed. The feel of her wrapped around him, her hand burning a trail of fire down his back, the taste of her in his ravenous mouth only encites him. Drives him, makes him crave rabidly for more.

It grows. He can feel _the thing _inside him taking shape, expanding as his mouth continues to devour her. It's pushing and pulling hotly in his depths. Inflaming his insides almost painfully. It's too much. Clark's breathing is sharp and ragged as he releases her. It's too much. He whimpers at the feel of it stretching his insides, scorching as it moves. He wants to scream out, but can't as Chloe pulls him forcefully back down to her and captures his lips. His cries muffled by her mouth. Clark gives into the kiss, moving against her, bucking and writhing from the too intense pleasure but is uncomfortably aware of the transformation taking place.

Pulling back slightly, Chloe enfolds him in her arms. "Ssh. Stop fighting it." Her voice consoles, his body shaking violently on top of hers. Chloe licks at his lips slowly, deliberately.

"Ssh... it's fine Kal-El." She soothes. Clark rests his head breathlessly on top her, the alteration inside quieted for the moment, his body still twitching lightly in the aftermath.

"Rest." Chloe lulls. In response Clark closes his eyes, and burrows into her comfort.

He'll rest and begin again tomorrow.


	28. SUBSTITUTION FIVE

SUBSTITUTION Five (Day 14)

* * *

She watches him in the days following Martha's departure. Silently observing his comings and goings, his inert meandering. He goes to the Talon everyday, twice a day. Everyday he brings back a container of coffee. Everyday he stows it away in his loft. She notices, he's more alert now. More aware in the three days since Martha left. Observant, though still unaffected, seemingly indifferent to the world around him. Thankfully there haven't been any further outbursts of anger, but with the loss of anger, loss of all emotion has also gone. He's stoic. A drone, moving about his routine with precision, executing his tasks with an exact perfunctory manner. Each day she watches him, as promised to Martha, as promised to Lara and each day she becomes increasingly concerned.

He doesn't speak, doesn't converse, doesn't interact, he merely exists. Almost as if he's resident to his own body, resident to his own life. Kara notices. He doesn't stay in the house for long periods of time, choosing to spend his time in his loft. The times he has no choice but to be in the house, he moves around with a permanent scowl etching his features. He's not happy. For Kara this knowledge is easy to grasp. She wonders as she continues her study of him, does he realize it is unhappiness he feels?

She can see him, she can hear him. At night, he hardly sleeps. When he finally succumbs, his rest is fitful, until he wakes quietly in the middle of the night and exits the darkened farm house. She watches him during the day, until she is forced not to, until she, herself is forced to interact with the world. What she sees, what she notices is that he barely eats, he hardly sleeps and he works the farm and sits with his pet, and it's all duty. But underneath, Kara sees something more, something barely contained, a restlessness hidden directly under his skin, simmering below the surface. A restlessness that's only given in to at night when presumably the world is asleep. Silently, Kara continues to wonder, and continues to be dismayed.

She finds him in his loft, of course. Collapsed on the old worn sofa, head back, staring up at the rafters, or possibly beyond, Kara can't tell. She stops at the landing, with a quick glance to the desk she calculates 15 coffee cups which accounts for the smell of café' permeating the air. Underneath the heavy aroma, her preternatural senses pick up the slight traces of souring cream. This has to end.

Approaching him slowly, as if cautious to break the stillness surrounding them, Kara speaks. "Are you planning on relocating up here permanently?"

"Possibly." Clark answers lowly.

Silence settles, what can she say. She's hesitant to disturb him, but remembers her promise.

"I thought you were at the Talon." He states, head still upturned toward the sky. Kara's unsure if he's merely stating a fact or if it's an invitation to engage in conversation. She hopes for the latter, but is certain it's the former.

"I was." She replies, moving closer to his unmoving form. "I'm on my break." Kara looks down at the coffee cup in her hands. "I brought you something."

He knows what it is. He could smell it as she inched closer. "Put it over there." He instructs, still motionless

Kara doesn't have to ask where 'there' is. it's more than obvious. She walks toward the Talon container laden desk and adds her offering to his collection. Turning back toward him, she pauses. Her eyes searching him for... anything. Any sign of life. "You should move these to the refrigerator." She advises.

Clark responds with silence. He mulls it over. The cream is starting to sour.

"Have you eaten?" She settles on an innocent question. Trying to draw him out, something, anything will do. Just react, she pleads.

"Not hungry." He says flatly.

Kara nods. She did ask, yet expected that answer. For the last three days that has been his customary reply.

"I know what my mom asked you to do Kara. Thanks, but I don't need you to look after me." His voice is steady, monotone, not a hint of accusation.

"Kal..." She breathes, taking a seat at the edge of the sofa, she's sure to keep her distance. "... I did not only promise Aunt Martha, but I promised Aunt Lara. I would look out for you regardless, even if..." She trails off, reluctant to finish the statement. She doesn't wish to anger him.

After a beat, he intones, lowering his head to look at her for the first time since she'd arrived. "If what? Even if I weren't acting like myself?"

"Kal-El..." Kara sighs, noticing the involuntary wince in his muscles at the use of his Kryptonian name. Her eyes narrow with inquisition. "Why haven't you been acting like yourself?"

Clark stares at her for a long moment, not knowing what to say, uncertain of the answer. Has he not been acting like himself? If not who has he been for the last few days? How does he explain this to her, if he can't understand it himself. He feels foreign in his own body... alien. Yet still himself. He drops his head back onto the sofa as if the weight is too heavy for his neck to sustain, eyes once again drawn to the skies, he replies quietly. "I don't know who I am anymore."

His words strike a memory deep in the hollows of her mind. She's heard those words before on Krypton, heard that same defeated tone. Jena-Pax, her good friend lost her bonded mate in a Kryptonian war. Kara remembers sitting with her in the aftermath, she's never forgotten the lost look on her friends face or the dry words from her lips. 'I feel my death Kara Zor-El. I don't know who I am anymore.' Tears prick Kara's eyes at the memory. She shakes her head to regain focus. This is not the same. Kal is not bonded to anyone. There has been no ceremony or exchange of vows, or consummation... well as far as she knows. It's a completely different situation. What's happening to her cousin is beyond her. She needs more information.

"What do you mean Kal?" She probes lightly.

:"I've been having these dreams." Clark blurts out, then stops. He's not about to tell Kara about his dreams. The dreams that have become more and more vivid. More and more sensual. They're no longer glimpses or impressions he can vaguely recall, the last few dreams have been clear and alive and increasingly intense. Clark can remember it all in his waking hours. The feel, the sounds, the emotions, it's all changing him from the inside; awakening something real and powerful in him, something he has only felt a few times in his life. Something he's tried to suppress and deny ever since his father or more accurately Jonathan Kent showed him his spaceship.

"What dreams Kal?" Kara interrupts his reverie. Bringing him back to her, the loft and away from his nightly mental jaunts.

Clark doesn't respond. The dreams are his and his alone. He'll not share them with her, she'd never understand. Shit! He doesn't even understand.

She tries again. "Are these dreams the reason for your restlessness? Why you hardly sleep during the night? Where do you go Kal-El?"

Clark flinches again and shuts his eyes at the use of his name. That name that _she _uses in his fantasies. Are they even fantasies? No, they're more. More real. More meaningful. Affecting him even in his waking hours. Confusing him and changing him.

Processing his cousin's question, he wants to answer, but is dubious of it. The simple answer would be, yes. However, Clark's aware that there is no simple answer. For the past few nights, he's awoken immediately after every dream, with a sense of idleness, an anxiety he couldn't quite lay claim to. A sensation that forced him up and out every time. He would run, with no particular destination in mind, usually finding himself on patrol, looking for danger, needing to help. Needing to still the disquiet bubbling in him. Whatever it is that's taking him over from the inside needs to be appeased, unfortunately his escapades at night only helped slightly. He isn't complete, and this feeling of incompletion is drowning him wholly.

"Kal?" Kara prods. Laying a gentle hand on his arm to reclaim his attention.

"I go running." He finally replies. That's the answer. Simple and to the point.

It's not enough. She needs more information, unfortunately her cousin is not very forthcoming. Kara stills for a moment, letting the uncomfortable quiet settle. She wants to know more. She wants to help him.

"I've noticed..." She begins, letting out a slow breath. Kara remains cautious of her words, not wanting to provoke him in either direction. "... your uneasiness in the house. Do these..." she struggles, a grimace forms on her face, she's already sensed his aversion to the topic, but she needs to know. "...dreams, have anything to do with your apparent discomfort?" She asks.

"No." His response is flat and concise.

"Then..." A frown forms in her confusion.

The sudden movement of Clark raising his head cuts off her words. He meets her eyes directly. Searchingly, he wants to speak, he wants to share what's going on. He needs to talk to someone, he wishes desperately for the one he can't speak to right now. This he can share and Kara will do. He has no other option and hopefully she can tell him what to do. "It's not the dreams... it's something... something else." He informs lowly.

"What is it Kal?"

"I just can't be there." He explains, eyes shifting to the now 16 undisturbed containers of coffee. "I can't be around her." He admits. "It's her fault..." Clark pauses, fisting his hands at his sides. Finally, Kara reflects, a sign of emotion. She opens her mouth to inquire 'who' but Clark isn't done yet. "...if it hadn't been for Lana... Chl..Chl..." he struggles to say her name, a pained expression on his face. It hurts too much to say her name. He recognizes how undeserving he is of it. "..._she _would still be here. If it weren't for her!" He nearly growls. And it's the truth, his truth. He can't help it. Hating the way he feels toward Lana, it shouldn't be so. But he can't fight the anger and resentment he feels churning in him every time he sees her, is around her. If she had not done what she... did, Chloe would still be in his life. If she hadn't done what she did, Chloe wouldn't have had to make a choice. Chloe would be here, by his side, in his life if not for her, and he hates Lana for it. And hates himself for hating Lana for it. He can't help it, and it's killing him.

Kara nods. She's beginning to understand. She'd known that her cousin and his best friend had had a falling out of sorts. She 'd known that Chloe hadn't been around the farm and refused to speak about her cousin because of it... but this? It makes sense, and Kara's pained by it. It's not right for him to feel so unsettled in his own home.

"Kal." She calls, seeking to regain his attention. His gaze is back on his desk, eyes unfocused. Kara breathes, disheartened and slightly sick from what she's about to say. "Kal, you have to forgive her if you are to continue your alliance with her."

Clark's brows furrow incredulously at her words. He almost wants to laugh. Kara is the last person he would suspect of advocating his relationship with Lana. "You don't even like her." He informs, not accusing. It's a known fact.

"This is true." Kara admits, a slow smile creeping to her lips. "I have no patience for your pe... chosen." She amends not hiding her disdain for the word used to describe the tiny brunette annoyance. "But she is your chosen..."

"Is she?" Clark whispers to himself. Head falling once again to the sofa tiredly.

Kara is stunned silent for a beat. What can she say to that? His words were not intended for her to hear, she could tell that much but... but what really? It doesn't change his actions.

"Kal, right now, she is who you chose. Now, I am not a fan of..." She lets out an exasperated breath, "...Lana, but it is unfair of you to ignore her. It is disgraceful to abuse your commitment this way. If she is who you are with, you must treat her as such... or let her go." Kara advises. Once again, revealing a maturity to Clark that far surpasses her youthful looks.

Kara's right. He's a horrible boyfriend. He's so confused, he doesn't know which end is up anymore. He can't determine what he wants, shit he can't even tell who he is anymore. Everything is so unfocused. But he has to try. He owes it to himself and to Lana to try. That's the right thing to do. Right?

--

Later that day, he finds himself chaperoning Lana to a little boutique on Main Street. Clark's attempt to be more in the present, to pay more attention to his girlfriend. She's shopping for something, a dress, a night shift, lingerie, he's not sure. Personally he doesn't really care. He's here and that's all that really matters. At times she models the skimpy outfits for him. Some see through, some really short and revealing, he guesses she's trying to seduce him, much to his disgust... honestly, her attempts are falling very very flat. Only succeeding in pushing him towards his loft and his quiet solitude. Clark breathes deep. He has to try though. This is the choice he's made. He's stuck.

While Lana locks herself in the dressing room, frustrated at Clark's refusal to join her, he walks the tiny store, scanning over the assortment of women's clothing. He comes to a halt, eyes locking on a little slip of material. That is what it _is_ really, a barely there night garment. Although he can't deny the little sliver of fabric is sexy as hell, it's the color that grabs his attention. A transient green, shimmering in the afternoon light. Clark's hypnotized. It's the color of _her _eyes. The color of life and energy and truth. He can't help but to imagine Chloe wearing it, and instantly his body responds. Hardening at the imagery.

--

He was right. Clark's eyes devour her trim body laying invitingly on his bed. The soft evanescent green of the lingerie painted to her curves. It's a short slip of a gown, falling to her hip and the covering of the v-neck dips so low he can see the mounds of her supple breasts. He breathes, trying to steady his body's answer to her call. Chloe's too beautiful to look at, her milky skin, glistening against the crimson of his sheets. The green in the slip making her eyes radiant and electric as they too study him. A sultry grin curves her mouth as his breathing speeds up. She's his wood nymph, his pixie. Clark kneels on the bed, his hands skimming the soft flesh of her calves as he approaches her.

"I want you." He whispers. Placing a chaste kiss on her thigh. His breath coming in pants. She is glorious.

"You have me." Chloe answers.

"Only here though." He ripostes. And it's true, out there she's not with him. Clark's beginning to understand that. He cherishes these moments, the times where only they exist. Both hands trailing up her calves to her thighs, he lifts her knees to cradle him. To hug him as he moves closer. He needs to get closer, to feel her.

"Possibly." She says.

He can feel something inside of him shifting, rearranging. It's beginning again, still a little uncomfortable, but he's becoming used to the feeling. Used to the burning transformation that starts, when they become intimate. Clark's accepted it now, though disorienting, he couldn't fight it if he tried. He needs her, he can't stay away, he doesn't want to. He places a lingering kiss on lower lips. She's open for him, ready. He licks his lips moaning at the taste of her. The satin feel of her under his large hands, the taste of her on his tongue. He's drowning, and all he can do is beg for more. She's a feast for his eyes and mouth. God, he's so hungry for her. Whatever it is inside of him, needs this... will not be satisfied until complete. He craves the completion. His body hums and his erection throbs for it. More.

Taking a deep breath, he needs more of her, all of her. His hands raise to meet his mouth, parting her folds. Flicking his tongue over her clit, once, twice. His insides are inflamed, pulsing with need. Clark grinds his hips into the mattress. He's so hard, it's painful. Longing to submerge himself inside of her, but he will not be diverted from his task. Her spicy taste is intoxicating. Exploding on his tongue, he thirsts for it. His lips close around her tiny nub, sucking and caressing with his tongue, and Chloe writhes above him. Her hands find his hair, nails digging into his scalp. All of this incites him further.

Clark's scorching now. The dragging and shifting on the inside, pushing him. Needing more. More fuel, more of her. He moves his hand, fingering her entrance, as he continues to lathe her clit with affection. His fingers enter her slowly, tentatively and damn ... she's so hot, so wet and wonderfully tight. So tight his head reels from the promise of how she will feel surrounding his cock. He pulls away, the thought overwhelming him, he can't breathe. Clark hasn't had much experience when it comes to sex, but he knows from her body's response she wants him as much as he craves her. This knowledge overpowers him. He suddenly feels very unworthy. How can one be worthy of the sun? Clark frowns down at her. The movement in his depths still for a moment. He doesn't deserve Chloe. She's so much better than him, so much more than what he deserves.

Chloe gazes at him knowingly. Reaching a hand out, she beacons. "Come here Kal-El."

Clark goes willingly, he can't resist her, he doesn't want to. At the touch of her hand on his arm, gliding to his back, he wants to cry. She's too perfect.

Chloe kisses his lips gently. Shushing his mind, calming his insecurity. One hand on his cheek another running up and down his spine. Their eyes lock for an eternity. "Touch me." She whispers against his lips.

"Where?" He breathes.

"Anywhere... everywhere." And he does. Clark moves his hands up her sides, massaging and kneading her satiny skin. One hand settles on her breast, as he lowers his face to hers, joining their lips. Clark kisses her lightly at first, just a brush, then becomes more persistent as the internal shift begins again. She opens her mouth beneath his, provoking a moan from the pit of his stomach when their tongues meet and tangle together. Their mouths lock feverishly, hungrily. He can't get enough. Clark moves his hips insistently against her warmth. Hot, he's so hot for her, inside and out. His hand tweaks her nipple, rolling the hardened nub between his fingers.

Chloe sucks his bottom lip into her mouth, biting lightly. The pressure forcing him to buck harder against her. She meets him when he pushes down, rolling her hips into him. Clark can't take it, he cries out at the blissful sensation. Calling her name, as the fires inside of him blaze ferociously. His mouth moves to her neck, feeling her pulse beneath his lips, calling him, whispering for him to claim her.

Lowering his hand to her core once again, his finger entering her heated center. He moves his mouth to her breast, licking and sucking the downy flesh, drawing her nipple into his mouth, while he adds a second finger to the first. So hot! His insides clawing and scorching, he groans at that sensation. His thumb finds her throbbing nerve and presses against it firmly, flicking and circling as his fingers continue their motion.

There's an explosive jolt inside of him, forcing him to feast harder on her bodily offering, and pump faster with his fingers. He's ravenous. Clark begins to shake above her, his insides combusting from the metamorphosis. It's too much, he draws back , releasing her nipple with a resounding pop and rises to his knees between her legs. Yet continues to rub his hard on against her violently, and thrust his fingers into her moist canal. He can't stop, he can't loose contact. Shutting his eyes tightly, teeth grinding together, jaw locked, muscles tense rigidly. He groans long and hard, trying to suppress crying out from the mixture of the unbearable pleasure and fiery pain. He needs so much more he can't stop. Doesn't want to stop. Needs completion. Needs release. His body convulses uncontrollably. Too much. He can't breathe, can't think. All he knows is the ardent fire inside of him, remaking him. All he can feel is her flaming body. Too much. Clark gasps, from the onslaught.

Chloe raises up as well to meet him, withdrawing from his questing fingers and his feverish momentum. She circles her arms around him, placing gentle affectionate kisses on his ear, temple and cheek. Soothing him. "It's OK. Kal-El." He shudders in her arms. The heat cooling to a dull ache. "You're almost there."

Chloe coaxes him to lay down. Settling beneath him, as he heaves, trying to claim a solid breath. She smooths her hands calmingly over his back. Clark lays against her chest, breathing her in. His own hands running over her flat stomach and curvy hips, while he continues to gulp for air, her heartbeat sounds in his ear, gentling the need still plaguing him.

"Almost there." She repeats softly. "Peace for now Kal-El. Just rest."

Clark closes his eyes at her prompting. He's almost there. He can feel it. Almost ready... but ready for what?


	29. SUBSTITUTION Six

**SUBSTITUTION Six (Day 19) **Song: A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars

* * *

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

'He loves me. He's always loved me. Clark will always love me'. Lana internalizes while she peers into the bedroom mirror, putting the finishing touches on what she deems a walking sex outfit. A tight maroon dress specifically picked out to entice Clark back into her arms. Things have been tough lately, Clark has been increasingly distant with her. But he loves her, she knows he loves her, of that Lana is sure. After everything they've been through both together and apart, after the train wreck that was her marriage to Lex, even after the whole power transference debacle, Clark loves her and sticks by her. That is a truth, Lana has come to depend on. So what is a little temporary distance, she can forgive him that. His little petty anger about her and Lex? They've worked too hard to be at this place in their relationship. So many times she'd had to endure the struggle of his secrets and bold face lies, struggle to protect him from Lex once she found out his secret, struggle to protect herself, but their love conquered. It will continue to overcome all. Their passion for each other transcends trivialities. They're destined for each other. She deserves his love after everything, and if it's one thing Clark has never failed to do - is love her.

Who would she be to give up on that love? How stupid would it make her to abandon the most powerful man on earth, when he so desperately needs her. Whatever Clark is going through, whatever he's angry about, they'll get passed it, she'll be right by his side the whole way. After all, he has no one else, everyone else has abandoned him. She runs her hands over her stomach and tiny hips, smoothing out her dress.

Chloe, the one who was supposed to be his BFF, the one who'd known his secret the longest, the one that supposedly stood by him when he needed help. Where the hell is Miss Perfect Reporter now? Abandoned him! Lana scoffs silently. And good riddance really. Chloe has always been a stain on their relationship. Lana isn't stupid, the girl acted like her friend, acted like she supported them, but the truth has always been that Chloe was just biding her time for Clark to finally see her. Clark and Chloe's shattered friendship was a long time in the making in Lana's opinion. Honestly, she isn't surprised that Chloe has run off, having now unmitigated proof that Clark will always love _her_ no matter what.

Lana frowns slightly into the mirror. Part of her, is a little saddened by the loss of her friendship with Chloe, they were once so close. Lana shrugs at her reflection. Although she didn't fail to notice, the resentment in Chloe's eyes when she came back from Hong Kong… not 'dead'.

Lana takes one last once over at her image and walks out of the bedroom. What had Chloe expected really? For Lana to just forfeit Clark's love to her? For Lana to just let him go? Never going to happen. Clark's love belongs to her, even if Clark and Chloe had gotten together in her absence, it really didn't matter. Clark has always… Always been hers. And now after all of their trials, Lana deserves his love, the love that is only hers and she'll be damned if she let little inconsequential annoyances stand in between their relationship.

She pauses in the kitchen, stunned motionless. Lana gapes, surveying the cluttered counter top at the contents littering the surface that should have been in the refrigerator. Two days ago it was merely condiments, the orange juice jug and water bottles, now there's solid food, along with butter and milk, all items she purchased yesterday.

Lana glances toward the living room at Clark's lounging form, seeing his black mane over the top of the sofa, then returns her shocked eyes to the display, "Clark?" She takes a step in his direction. "…um, why are the refrigerated items all out on the counter?"

"No room." His gruff voice sounds out from the living room. Clark sits silently, body unresponsive to her inquiry or her presence. His arms stretched out over the back, his gaze focused on the darkened fireplace, seeming he is waiting for Lana to finish preening.

Lana nods dumbly, "OK, but…" She swallows, walking over to the refrigerator and opens it, what she sees inside causes her to seethe, anger, shock and annoyance coiling together in the pit of her stomach. "Clark." Her voice is stern as she shuts the refrigerator door forcefully. Clark turns his head to look at her over his shoulder as she continues. "Now, I think I have been more than fair, putting up with this… this… your weird coffee fetish but…." she's almost sputtering in anger, waving her hand at the counter. "… this is ridiculous. I just bought this food yesterday. You can't leave it out."

"I told you Lana, there is no room." His tone is hard and unyielding. That's her problem. Clark thinks. She never understands. Why is she here anyway? He shouldn't have to put up with this shit. It's his fucking house and his damn refrigerator! But no… It's always about her, isn't it?

Lana rolls her eyes as she proceeds to open the refrigerator once again. "Well there would be room…"

Suddenly Clark's unmovable body blurs in front of her hands slamming into the refrigerator, Lana stumbles back a step and gasps, blinking rapidly as her mind reorients, catching up to his sudden appearance. She tilts her head to look up at him, shocked as he towers over her, his body rigid with tension.

"Don't touch them!" He growls out. His voice low and unmistakably threatening. Lana swallows hard. Trying to ascertain what just happened. Clark can't be threatening her, he wouldn't. Clark loves her, he would never hurt her, especially not over anything as silly as coffee containers.

Searching his cold pale green eyes, Lana nods working her mouth to speak, she's lost her words. Nodding, she clears her throat, "OK." She placates. She looks back to the counter, before returning her gaze to him. "OK. Um… are you ready." She asks timidly. Clark nods mutely, his eyes boring into her, assuring she receives his message clearly. No one is to touch his coffee. Absolutely no one!

Clark loves her, Lana reminds herself stepping away from him to retrieve her purse as Clark watches her movements coolly. He's always loved her. Lana glances at him once she's at the door, indicating she's ready. Clark nods silently yet again walking slowly towards her.

She doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize their reconciliation and neither does Clark, she believes. That is what this night is all about, isn't it? Them reconnecting, getting back to a happy place. After all, last night it was Clark's suggestion to spend the evening in Metropolis. For days, she's been asking for a night out, and he's finally relented. She'd be a fool, to let this little disagreement of Clark's new obsession with coffee - ruin their potential at a solid blissful future together. Clark loves her.

--

_Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life  
Do you want to be different? (Different…)  
Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth  
'Cause this is just a game_

She said she'd be here. Where the hell is she? She promised. Clark looks around the slightly crowded floor of the Ace of Clubs, scanning the mass of party goers for the beacon of golden hair. Where is she? He remembers that she didn't want to come here, but she'd promised Lois that she would.

_"Come on." Lois whined. _

"_Um no! I don't think so Lo." Clark picked up on the agitation in Chloe's voice. _

"_Look, you need to get out anyway, and I need another half of a couple, for Couples Night. It will be fun." He heard the smile in the brunette cousin's voice. Clark was almost sick at the thought of Chloe going out to have fun without him. It was then, that something fierce and demanding swelled in him. He had to see her. By any means, he just needed to see her._

"_Sorry Lo, but you're not my type." Chloe had teased. _

"_Please…" Lois scoffed. "I'm tall, dark and reasonably good looking. Totally your type and as for you… you know I have a thing for sexy blondes. Please Chlo!" Lois begged. Clark could almost swear Chloe rolled her eyes at her cousin, her customary response to compliments.._

"_Free drinks before 11." Were Lois' final words. There was a long moment of silence, as Clark too waited for Chloe's response. He heard Chloe breathe heavily, a long suffering sigh. _

"_Fine. OK." Chloe agreed painstakingly. _

It had been a complete accident that he'd overheard their exchange last night, but he was happy that he did. He hasn't seen her in two weeks. He needs this. Just a glimpse, and he'll be fine.

"Clark?" Lana's voice calls him back to their table. He turns his eyes back to her. "What are you looking for?"

He waits a beat before responding. "Nothing." She's not here yet. He would know if she were here already. Lana smiles shyly at her boyfriend. "I'm really glad you suggested this place. I've seen it on my way to Isis and I've always wanted to come."

Clark fails at forming a smile in reply and promptly turns his head back to the crowd in search.

"So. Have you ever been here?" Lana tries to engage him again as she too looks around the club, taking in the atmosphere. "There's a lot of people here tonight, I didn't think this would be your type of scene Clark."

"It's Couples Night." He responds flatly.

"Really?" Lana smiles widely, pleased at the information. This is promising. She turns her head back to him, only to receive his side profile. "Clark."

Another cool turn of his head to address her. His gaze is on her, but all of his senses are attuned to the club. He'll know once she arrives. Just a glimpse.

His tiny companion sighs, "Look, I know things have been really… off between us lately." Lana places her hand over his on the table. Clark shifts his gaze, peering down at their hands, his own flat underneath hers, motionless, unresponsive. Lana continues. "…but I know we can work this out. I know we can be happy together again. We love each other no matter what right? And a love like ours just doesn't…"

"I don't know how I feel anymore." Cutting off her words, Clark whispers to their layered hands, observing Lana's immediate reaction of curling her hand around his.

"What?" She gasps. She stairs at his face for a moment, before shaking her head in vehement denial. "You love me Clark!" She explains to him. Her tone is resolute and unrelenting. "We love each other!"

Clark remains motionless, his eyes are still downcast. He's not so certain of that anymore. Had he ever been _absolutely_ certain? He feels so disconnected from that person that saw nothing but her.

Lana breathes deeply, shutting her eyes. She needs to approach this calmly, and with a level head. That's the only way to get through this. Sure they haven't been communicating well lately, and sure they have been distant and angry most of the time, but doesn't that happen in relationships. Of course Clark is a little confused about what he feels right now. It's understandable. There were moments during the past few weeks, when she too had her doubts, but she remembered that he loves her. All she has to do is remind Clark of that love. Opening her eyes, Lana begins softly, lovingly. "I know we've been fighting a lot lately…"

Clark nods and intones sullenly. "Yeah, um... and I'm sorry about that, but…"

Lana holds up a hand, to halt his explanation. "No Clark. I'm to blame as much as you are, but that doesn't mean that we don't love each other." She squeezes his hand affectionately. "Look at me... " At her request Clark raises his eyes to her slowly as Lana offers a sweet smile. "We love each other Clark." She points out. "With a love like ours, we can get through anything. Look at everything we've been through to get where we are. Your constant lies to protect your secret. My marriage to Lex. It all means something Clark, something real and true and now look at where we are. After all of that, we are here together." She punctuates with an encouraging smile.

"We didn't get here alone Lana." He counters lowly. They couldn't have gotten this far without _her_ - Chloe. None of it matters without her by his side. Clark blinks. Why had he never seen it before? Damn it! What's taking her… Her heartbeat resonates loudly in his ears, ferociously, steadily picking up pace, closer, louder. At once, he's alert, his back automatically straightening in response. God, she's close. She's so close, he can almost sense her. Clark's blood begins to sing in his veins, his body hums in awareness. His own heart picking up speed to match hers. His gaze shifts just over Lana's shoulder. She hasn't entered yet, but she's close. He can feel her.

Lana stares for a beat, unaware of Clark's drifted attention, before dismissing his words with a shake of her head. "It doesn't matter, none of that matters. We're here now! And I am not letting you go Clark." She finishes decisively. "I'm not!"

Unreachable, her words are lost on him, their table goes silent and still as if separated from the energy and life swirling around them. The crowd cheering , people laughing and couples dancing, Lana and Clark are alone.

The tiny brunette lets out a frustrated breath, "I'm going to the restroom." She rises from her seat across from him. "I'll be back." She informs leaning over and plants a chaste kiss on his cheek.

--

Chloe comes to an abrupt stop right outside of the doors. "He's in there Lois." The pace of her heart rapidly increasing.

Lois looks back over her shoulder in confusion, hand on the door. "What?" She turns fully toward her cousin, and approaches her slowly. "Who?" Her eyes widen with recognition as she notices the obvious panic engulfing her cousin.

Chloe shuts her eyes, needing to quiet the telling buzz in her body. She doesn't need this. Not now. She hasn't felt this in weeks. It feels like a life time ago, that she welcomed this sensation, it used to thrill her, excite her, but now it's unwanted. She's petrified. She doesn't need him to be here. God, why is he here? This is her city damn it! She intakes shallow ragged breaths. This is not happening. She has to leave. She can't go in there.

Lois places her hands on Chloe's shoulders, "Chloe look at me." She instructs calmly. Chloe opens her eyes slowly. Her gaze pleading, begging her cousin to understand. She can't go in there. He's in there. Lois swallows from the sight of the visible pain rendered in her cousins eyes. "Listen…" Lois breathes. "… he doesn't matter Chloe. Don't give him this much power over you."

"Lois. I can't…" She voices desperately, almost frantic. She can't do this. Her eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. She just can't.

"No!" Lois shakes her head. "Either you're another pet on Ol' McDonald's farm and let him control you, or you take your life back!" Her words holding an urgency, that surprises even her. Smallville will not control her little cousin this way!

Chloe stares up at Lois, her eyes watering from emotion. She heaves an unsteady breath.

Lois continues. "You're strong Chloe. Sullivan-Lane's are made of stronger stuff." She coaches. Glancing at the entrance briefly, Lois adds. "But if you're not ready. I will understand."

Chloe nods, and swallows thickly. Fisting her hands at her sides she steels herself. She's stronger than this. She's in control. It was her decision after all and she followed through with it, and now she can persist in it. She's strong. She can do this. She can do anything. Taking a deep breath, she smoothes her hands down her dress, collecting herself, before answering.

"OK." She smiles shakily. "OK. Momentary freak out." She assures as Lois smiles encouragingly. Chloe knows it's a farce. The pounding in her chest attesting to the lie, but she can fake it. Shit, she's been faking it for years. Placing her hand above Lois' on her shoulder, she squeezes lightly in appreciation of her cousin's support. Her smile widens. "I'm good. Let's go in." If my Krypto-heart explodes in the process, at least I get to see him one last time. She muses silently.

Lois reciprocates her smile, circling her hand around her tiny cousin's shoulder. "You are my date after all. And I don't like to be ditched." She teases. "You look hot, by the way. I appreciate the effort. Who knows... you may even get lucky." She laughs.

Chloe giggles circling her own arm around Lois's waist. Yeah... lucky.

--

'_Cause this is just a game_

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

There she is! All goes silent as he watches Chloe ascend the stairs. Life ceases, coming to a halt. Time seems to stand still and the world around him holds it's breath at her arrival. Her steps are fluid, her ascension graceful. She is magnificence. Clark's pulse quickens, heart clamoring in answer. That smell, her smell filling him to complete and total distraction. Home. His eyes scour her body, taking in every inch of her luscious frame. God, she's gorgeous. The scarlet halter dress molded to her curves, accentuating her cleavage, making his mouth water. Clark unconsciously licks his lips as he visually devours her. His gaze ravenously drinking in her creamy skin, his fingers itch to touch her. Clark clenches his fists tightly on the table, the feminine curve of her hips crying out to him to be held. She's an enchantress, a seductress and Clark's powerless to fight her. To fight it. There's no denying, this is no lie. He wants her. He knows that now. His entire body pounding to the rhythm of her heart, the call of her body. Her life. He needs her. Every nerve sizzling, roaring to fiery life as her gaze locks on his. Her green eyes are utterly vibrant with energy. Clark's drowning in her. Needing so badly to feel her in his arms, the assurance of her closeness, to be near her, to touch her. Chloe.

Chloe knew he was there. She could feel him, that inexplicable awareness of his nearness. But God, to see him. As his intense blue green eyes meet hers, all the air collides, and pushes forcefully out of her. She can't breath. He's so beautiful. She thought her heart would explode outside, but now new life beats inside of her. Her pulse rushing furiously, calling for him, craving him. How did she live without seeing him? Chloe can't think, she can only feel. Only see. The world no longer exist, as Clark begins to rise from his table. The lights of the club bouncing off of his lush dark hair. Perfection. His eyes hungry and feral. Chloe licks her lips. She wants him, that's no surprise, but this need roaring in her veins catches her off guard. She wants his strong solid arms wrapped around her securely. To lean against his broad masculine chest clad in a sleek navy blue button down. Chloe's entire body beats and hums as he comes to a stand-still, his body extended to it's full height, his muscles flexing with the control of his immense power. She clenches her fists at her sides, wanting so desperately to be held. To feel the safety of his body against hers as he enfolds her, engulfs her, surrounds her. Clark.

But then...

A light touch on his arm pulls him away from his ethereal enthrallment. His head turns slowly as Lana crosses in front of him. "I wasn't gone long was I?" She asks in complete ignorance to Chloe's arrival.

Clark returns his gaze to it's original focus over Lana's head as she takes a gingerly seat at their table. His eyes lock once again with Chloe's. However, Chloe's are now shielded. That veil that he's become so familiar with lowered, now firmly back in place in his extremely brief interlude with Lana. No! His body shouts as his Chloe turns and follows Lois across the room... away from him. No! Not again. Clark despairs. He glances toward Lana. Damn it! She ruins everything. If it weren't for her... He looks at Chloe's retreating form, further away now. Her dress gliding over her back with every step. No!

--

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Lois asks lightly as they settle around an empty table. Lois knows, she'd seen it all. 'Not so bad' is an utter fallacy. The connection created between her cousin and her hick best friend was fierce and tangible. Explosive. She smirks to herself, when these two crazy kids finally get a clue, watch out.

Chloe stares mutely at the table, her pulse unrelentingly frantic. Her breath coming in short pants. She's infirm, feeling woozy and lightheaded. She needs air. "I need some air." She informs the table as she rises stiffly. "I just... I need..." She can't speak, can't think. She needs to breathe. Moving from the table, every step exact and precise. She's suffocating, not enough air. She needs to get out, get away.

--

All of his senses are attuned to Chloe. Her rapid pulse, her unsteady breathing, the warmth of her voice, the fruity smell of her body spray laced with the intoxicating smell of her skin. Hearing her exit, Clark jumps up at once. "I'll be back." He informs hastily, eyes locked on her invisible trail.

"Clark!" Lana calls stunned, wide-eyed at his sudden movement.

He doesn't respond as he rushes out as fast as humanly possible. His long strides answering her ardent call. So powerless.

--

Chloe leans against the wall behind the club. Taking deep measured breaths, her hand over her heart massaging lightly, ineffectually trying to soothe it's racing beat. The door toward her right opens swiftly, startling her unwitting meditation. At the sight of him, her useless attempt at control shatters. Her pulse begins anew. Her body trembles with desire... and fear. She stares helpless as he approaches her slowly. So tired of fighting, of fronting. She just needs him, wants him. Clark

Right there. His mind shouts. She's right there... so close. He prowls slowly steadily, helplessly drawn toward her. They peer into each other's eyes once again. The pull in her jade orbs, so powerful, Clark gives in. He doesn't want to fight it, he's so tired of fighting it. He just wants her, needs her. Chloe.

They stare intently into each other, absorbed and drowning in the other's essence, as Clark comes to a stop directly in front of her. The stark need and want, hunger reflected in both of their gazes. Clark intakes a deep deliberate breath. Breathing her in. So close. His body whirs in response to her heat, her life. Needs her. Needs to touch her.

Chloe stands still, the warmth of his nearness spreading over her, coating her skin and setting her body ablaze. God, she's missed him. Needed him.

"I..." Clark croaks hoarsely, breaking the intense silence. He clears his dry throat and tries again to speak. "...I've missed you." His voice is low and to Chloe, oh so seductive. She shivers as it caresses the air surrounding her.

Not good. She wants so badly to reciprocate. God knows she's missed him desperately... but she can't give in, she won't. Nothing's changed. Despite her desires, and her aroused response to him, everything else remains the same. Shifting her eyes to his chest, Chloe breaks their potent connection and Clark immediately feels the loss.

"How have you been?" He asks sullenly, trying fervently to illicit some response from her. He needs to hear her voice. He needs her to speak... to him.

"Fine." She directs her answer to his chest. His massive solid chest, his shirt rippling with every breath. Her hands shake at her sides, the desire to reach out almost uncontrollable... almost. Lifting her eyes to meet his briefly she adds. "And you?"

Simultaneous and without thought they both reach out at the touch of each other's gaze. Both hesitating, both slightly pulling back inches from each other's arm. Both fighting, one losing the battle, the other struggling to hold fast. Clark relents first. Grabbing her arm and pulling her toward him.

At once, he's drowning in feeling, in the sensation of having her in his arms. His body molding around hers, fastening her to him, his arms tighten around her back and waist. God... was it always this good. His body stiffens, awakens. He lowers his head to her neck, breathing her in, his lips grazing her skin slightly. Chloe shivers noticeably from the light brush of his mouth. Though her mind tells her to not give in, to not succumb, her body betrays as it weakens in his embrace. All she knows now is this. All she can feel is him. Her arms raise to his waist, circling him. Clinging to him fiercely.

Clark's arms tighten further, at her bodily reply, something violent and undeniably fierce surging to life inside him. So good. She feels so good. This is what he's needed. What he's craved. He'll never let her go. Chloe belongs to him and he to her. Never let her go.

Chloe burrows deeper into his hold. She never wants to leave. Never wants to give this up. Although she tries to deny, everything she is, everything in her - belongs to him. Her eyes begin to burn with hot emotion. She just wishes it were the same with him. Turning her head into his chest she breathes him in. His masculine scent heady and overpowering. Fleetingly, she recognizes that he smells different, he feels different. Something inside of her interprets, that he smells and feels like hers. A tear slips from her eye. But it's not true. Clark has never been hers. Will never be hers. She clings to him tighter, savoring the moment. Memorizing the feel of him, the scent of him. Indulging in his warm exhalation as it kisses her sensitized skin. If this is all she'll ever have, then she'll take this moment to treasure it.

Clark too clings to her, feeling the internal shift she's undergoing. No! He can't explain it, but he knows. He knows she's beginning to pull away from him. No! Not now, not while she's with him. Not after everything. He can't live without this. Without her. Please. No! He can feel his power draining, leaving him.

Chloe steps back, feeling his hold loosen. She refuses to meet his eyes, hiding her sadness. Shielding him from the pain she knows resides there. She can't cry in front of him. She won't allow him to see how much this is killing her. Clark stares down at her bent head, distraught. Where does he go from here?

"Chloe... " He pleads. Unconcerned by the desperation revealed in his voice. "Chloe... " He says again. Her name a priceless supplication on his lips. "Chloe please." He says slowly. His voice sounding full of too much emotion.

"Clark... " She breathes out. And the finality in her tone breaks him. This is it. There's nothing left of him. So powerless. He can't breathe. He doesn't want to breathe. He doesn't want anything but her.

"Clark." She intones again this time with resolve. "I'm sorry." She whispers. Slowly raising her head to face him. She chokes out a gasp at the desolation in his eyes. Instinctually and without hesitation she places a gentle hand on his chest, trying to comfort him in the only way she knows how.

Her delicate affectionate touch destroys him. Nothing's left. Why? Doesn't she know he needs her. "Please... " He begs in a whisper.

Chloe shuts her eyes tight at his desperation. It's too much. Feeling Clark take a step, closer, she shakes her head, silently begging him to stop. She can't do this. She's barely holding on as it is. Entirely too much.

He moves in again, as she backs away countering his forward motion, until there's no where else to go. Sandwiched between the wall and the huge Kryptonian, she opens her eyes. An inch of room separating them. "Please Chloe... " What is he asking her for? What does he want? She can't read him, can't even attempt to read him over the onslaught of her own thoughts and desires.

"Clark... " She gasps as he lowers his head to her neck once again. The warmth of his body blanketing her. His nearness seducing her.

Clark slowly raises his right hand to her shoulder, his head bent, needing to get closer. But not daring to touch her, he trails his hand directly above her body, down to her arm. Never touching, yet steadily caressing the bubble surrounding her. Feeling her. Drawing her to him.

She gasps, her breaths coming in pants at the energy flowing from him. It's indescribable. He doesn't touch her, not a finger, but as his hands slowly smooth over the invisible air hugging her body, she can feel him, so intensely, so vividly as if his hands are all over her. As if his body is pressed tightly to her. Something inside of her drawing him to her.

Clark's hands travel further down her arm. "Chloe... " He whispers in her ear. She trembles beneath him. When his hand lowers to her wrist, and stills as she flips it over without provocation. Inches away from each other, scarcely touching, he can feel her. All of her. The sensation indefinable. Overpowering, all around him, he's drowning in her from the inside. Her energy her essence flooding him, filling him senseless. He begins to pant from the feel, it's so much. So good. More. He wants more.

Chloe's breath picks up as well. She moans from the intensity of this evanescent exchange. When Clark performs the same action on the other arm, again without intent, she flips her hand over to meet his. Face to face, palm to palm, never touching, but filled with all encompassing feeling. His essence surrounds her, engulfs her. She's submerged in him... what feels like all of him. Her chest heaves as his alien eyes, no longer blue-green but a glowing crystal blue bores into hers. She has the feeling her eyes may mirror his own. She's never felt anything like this before. So much, so good... she's terrified. Her body begins to shudder uncontrollably. She can't break it. Yet something in her craves this, it doesn't want to break the connection. She needs to stop this. It's too much. She has to fight, has to... But... No!

"Enough!" She cries out. Clark stumbles backward suddenly, as if pushed by an unseen entity. Probably the same _something_ that slams into her chest violently, pushing into the wall.

Facing her, Clark's eyes now back to normal, stunned and filled with the pain of her rejection, Clark reaches out for her again, only to have Chloe evade his grasp. "_Chloe_." He pleads. They have to finish. He can't survive without it. Without her.

She shakes her head, unable to hold back the tears from falling. "No Clark." She steps away from him.

"Please... " He cries. "I _need _you."

She intakes a sharp breath at his words. Shutting her eyes tightly, she swallows, trying to dislodge the forming knot in her throat. "No... No you don't." She says before turning from him and entering the club.

He can hear her voice as it whispers from just on the inside of the club, and it kills him. "I've missed you too Clark... I'm so sorry."

He braces his hands on the wall of the building, trying to hold himself steady. So weak, her words wounding him deeper than he'd known mere words could ever cut. Clark chokes back a quiet sob. Not having the strength to hold himself up any longer, he slides down to his knees. Head bent towards the ground, he heaves a ragged breath, and exhales a whimper with his unwitting tears. It hurts. Something drags and scrapes on the inside of him, burning him savagely. He's dying. He can feel it. Unable to prevent it, an agonized moan escapes from his chest, the tears marking a steady stream down his face. It's over. He can't deny this. She's left him for good. Clark sobs, overcome with despair. What is he going to do without Chloe? He needs her so much.

--

_It's time to forget about the past  
To wash away what happened last (happened last)  
Hide behind an empty face  
Don't ask too much, just say  
'Cause this is just a game_

"Clark?" A soft voice calls him out of the dark desolate hopelessness. "Clark?" it calls again.

The big Kryptonian, sits silently, unmoving against the wall. Shrouded in darkness and weighted in misery. He can't move, doesn't have the energy to move. All his power focused on taking his next unwanted breath.

Lana crouches down beside him. Lifting his sweaty bangs from his forehead. "Clark? What happened to you?" He can hear the concern in her voice, but can't muster a response, or even a reaction.

"Clark?" Lana's really beginning to worry. She's never seen him like this before. "I've been looking for you for awhile now. Have you been out here this whole time?" Why isn't he responding. She searches around him for some explanation. Is it meteor rock? It has to be. Not finding any, she runs her hands over him, checking him for injury.

Clark shuts his eyes at the feel of her hands. He doesn't want this. His body violently rejecting her touch, Clark rises from his position suddenly as if burned by her. Needing to separate himself from her contact. Not her! The feeling of disgust and dissatisfaction comes upon him swiftly, with an incomprehensible fervency.

Lana watches him in bewilderment. "What's going on Clark?" She stands back, seeing the wildness in his eyes. "Are you OK?" She asks cautiously.

"Fine." He grunts out in reply.

"OK... um... you don't look well. Maybe we should go." She takes a step toward him but stops as he stumbles back against the wall away from her. "Clark?" She inquires. Something is definitely wrong

"I'm fine. Just... just go. I'll follow you to the car." He commands, wishing that she would leave him alone entirely, but knowing he needs her at the moment. He's pretty sure, he doesn't have the strength or concentration to drive back to Smallville by himself. And he knows he doesn't have the strength in speed. It's gone, all gone. Chloe took it with her.

Lana stands silently for a moment, studying his haggard, dejected form. Then nods her acquiesce, before turning around and entering the club.

He follows reluctantly. No choice. He has no choice. He's stuck.

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_


	30. SUBSTITUTION Six Dream

**DREAM 4**

_Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life  
Do you want to be different? (Different…)  
Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth  
'Cause this is just a game_

Clark sits on the bed in the dimly lit guest room, a soft glow blooming above him from nowhere. He peers down at his hands folded together in his lap, his strong hands, so strong and unbreakable he couldn't even hold on to her.

"You've been waiting for me." Her voice reaches out to him from the door. Chloe stands in the bedroom portal, leaning against the door frame. The bright light from the hallway, surrounding her body, outlining her frame in a brilliant aura. Her scarlet dress still snug on her trim body. Her soft golden locks, hung loosely framing her angelic face. Clark sits in awe, captivated by the goddess across from him.

"You left me." He says quietly.

Chloe smiles coyly. "I never left you. I can't leave you."

Clark stands and crosses slowly toward her. Bending his head over her, as she repeats in a whisper against his lips. "I can never leave you." Before their lips brush together softly. "And you can't leave me."

Pulling back, Clark meets her jeweled eyes directly. "I don't want to. I never want to." He says. A truth he's finally able to recognize. A truth he knows down to his very soul.

"So." She drawls as he raises his hand to the strap on her dress, fingering the fragile material lightly. "What does that mean Kal-El?"

Clark stills in the process of slipping the strap down her shoulder. Closing his eyes tightly. He can't say it, it hurts to much. "You'll leave me again Chloe."

"You have no choice." She counters. "You've already chosen Kal-El, there is no going back." Chloe raises her arms placing both palms flat on his chest, pushing him backward into the room.

The back of his legs hitting the bed, he plops down on the mattress, opening his eyes to look up at her. "I want you." He breathes

"And?" She asks. Slipping the other strap down her arm. Chloe lets the top of the dress fall to her waist, revealing her perfect breasts. Nipples already hard and at attention. She reaches for him, stroking her hands through his hair. Clark leans in placing lingering open mouthed kisses on the top swell breasts.

"I need you Chloe." He adds sliding his hands gently up her thighs under her dress to her hips, curling his fingers into her skin he grasps her tightly pulling her toward him.

"And?" She repeats, breathing deeply when he licks a path down the valley of her breasts.

His blood pumps rapidly through his veins, pulse quickening. His heart beating for her, in time with her. The internal shift begins anew. Fiery, hot but this time oh so pleasurable. He needs this so badly. Clark pants as he licks her nipple, circling with his tongue. He needs her more than anything. Drawing the hardened pebble into his mouth, he sucks lightly at first, teasing it with her tongue. While his hands travels around her massaging her soft rounded globes. He begins to suck harder, as the flames inside him ignite, craving more. Desperate for completion, his erection throbs mercilessly.

Chloe caresses his neck, his shoulders his back, grabbing the hem of his shirt and lifting it off him. He helps her, throwing the shirt over his shoulder, Clark returns to his feast.

"And Kal -El?" Clark tilts his neck to look up at her. Her eyes intense and oddly blue, clear as the waters of the Caribbean. "Say it." She instructs, as she steps back, unwrapping herself from her dress. "Say it and you'll have me."

"I love you Chloe." Clark breathes out. "I love you and I need you."

Chloe beams as she reaches for him. Clark grabs her outstretched hand, interlacing their fingers, he pulls her toward him. She settles down straddling his boxer clad legs. She traces her hand over his chest, leaving a trail of blazing fire, Clark moans in response, thrusting his hard on against her warmth.

He gasps. "I want you so much." Clark massages her breasts, kneading the pliant flesh.

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

"And?" She asks, breathlessly.

Clark leans forward kissing her with a desperation, and ravenous hunger he's never felt before. Needing this, needing her. He enters her mouth greedily, tasting and exploring. Their tongues meet and battle, stroking and encouraging. The transformation taking shape inside of him coming to a head. The intensity increases with life and fervor, he needs more. More of her. All of her.

She fingers his stomach, tracing the lining of his boxers, Clark squirms at her touch, his chest heaving with his labored breaths. Chloe circles her hand around him, grabbing his bare skin underneath his boxers. He surges forward at the contact. "And?" She repeats.

"You..." he gasps and hisses as she strokes him firmly, up and down. Her touch steady and unrelenting. It's so good... too good. He struggles to breathe. "...You... are... my chosen."

She pulls her hand from him abruptly, tearing his boxers away. Then with one hand on his shoulder, eyes locked with his, Chloe lowers herself onto his beaconing manhood, guiding him into her moist depths slowly.

Clark releases a guttural moan as he enters her. So good, so fucking good, and wet, and hot. He's so hot, he's scorching from the inside out. He moans again, as he fills, her essence filling him, blooming within him as her warmth surrounds him, embraces him. Too good. He holds tightly to her hips, panting as she pauses on top of him.

The unfamiliar words spill without volition from his mouth. "You are my chosen. I Kal-El, son of Jor-El give you, Chloe Ann Sullivan, all of me. To join together wholly. My love. My soul. My mate. My partner. Until the ends of time... I need you!"

Chloe smiles, rising above him, she slams herself down. Clark is thrown backward onto the mattress from the force of the intense pleasure and overwhelming rush that engulfs him, drowning him and overtakes him. A ferocious heat bursts out of him twining with foreign words seeming to circle them, echoing around them in a cocoon as the soft glow above stretches out, pulsing brighter, warmer. Chloe moves steadily, slowly, rocking against him, on top of him, around him.

Clark chants breathlessly, "I need Chloe. I love you. You are my chosen. " As he thrusts upwards to meet her, matching her movements. "I need you..."

_It's time to forget about the past  
To wash away what happened last (happened last)  
Hide behind an empty face  
Don't ask too much, just say  
'Cause this is just a game_

Leaning forward she braces herself over him, one hand on the bed the other in his hair, her pace increases riding him harder, faster, she claims his lips with hers, smothering his moans, swallowing his pleasure.

Tightening his hold on her, he flips them over. Running his hand to her bare thigh, Clark lifts her leg, tilting her slightly, to submerge himself deeper, until he's entirely sheathed, encased in her moist core. He's never felt this close to anyone. Never felt so apart of anything in his entire life. Never felt so complete. He belongs to her, only her, and she to him . So good. Clark groans as he pulls all the way out slowly then surges forward hard. His balls slapping against her ass. The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing in quieted room. Rhythmically he pumps into her slowly, savoring every inch, every sensation as he claims her, making her his.

"I... love you... so much...Chloe... so much! So good." He moans. His movements increasing, he pounds into her, over and over, faster and harder. "So good. Only you Chloe."

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

_Lie…._

He can feel the overpowering storm beginning to build, bubbling to the surface as she meets his hips with hers. Moving in tandem, she whimpers beneath him, nails digging into his arms as her back arches off of the mattress, head thrown back, her inner muscles clenching and squeezing him, milking him, calling him to answer.

_...Beautiful_

"Only you Chloe. You are my chosen." He cries, as she spasms uncontrollably beneath him_, _drawing him out. Pulling his essence from him, leaving nothing but bliss behind, he feels it mounting, his hips begin a frantic unsteady movement. "It's always been you." He feels his release whirring, rising to the surface. He has to complete this, he needs this.

_Everyone's looking at me  
I'm running around in circles (Baby)  
A quiet desperation's building higher  
I've got to remember this is just a game_

A light hand on his stomach, startles him. There's something else... something different. Clark blinks down at her in confusion, his movements never faltering. Her arms around him, circling him. What is that? The feeling of the hand sliding his chest, disorients him. Something churns sickeningly in his depths. He pauses inside of her.

"Finish Kal-El" Chloe urges. "You need to finish."

_(lie)So beautiful, beautiful…_

He shakes his head, trying to regain focus. Work his way through the discomfort. He begins moving inside her once again. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, this isn't right. He can't focus.

"Kal-El." She calls. Clasping both her hands to his face, forcing him to look at her, focus on _her_."You _need _to complete it." She says with a slight urgency.

_(lie)So beautiful, beautiful…_

He resumes, thrusting faster, harder, wildly meeting her, merging them. Something grabs his cock and he jolts. It's not right. 'Clark.' A soft whisper in his ear. A warm breath caresses his neck. A chaste kiss on his throat. 'Clark.' It's wrong. So wrong.

Chloe's eyes widen as he pulls out of her suddenly, stumbling away from the bed, he slams into the adjacent wall_. _

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial (So beautiful, beautiful)  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

"Clark." He can feel his name brushed against his chest. Up and down the hand strokes his erection. Clark's eyes pop open at the feel. Soft long dark tresses veils Lana's face as she hovers over him, one hand pumping his painful hard on steadily another trailing gently over his chest.

"Lana!" Clark shouts as he scrambles off of the bed away from her, wide eyed in panic. "What..." He looks down at standing manhood, and tucks himself back into his boxers. "What the hell are you doing?" He stammers. Grabbing a t-shirt from the chair across from the bed, he continues, swallowing down his disgust. "What are you doing in here Lana? You were asleep in my bedroom."

Lana frowns, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. "When I woke up you weren't there. I got lonely." Her eyes lower to the tent in his boxers. "You sure you don't want me to take care of that for you?" She punctuates her question with a hungry leer and licks her lips.

The appalled alien gapes at her. "Oh God." Clark cries as he storms out of the room away from her and locks himself in the bathroom.

--

_It's a beautiful lie  
It's a perfect denial (So beautiful, beautiful)  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me_

Laying on the couch in Oliver's pent house _not _watching a late late movie, Chloe gasps. Vaulting forward, her back arching hard against the cushions as something inexplicably intense and hot bubbles in her, spreading outward, consuming her.

"Clark!" Chloe screams out from a mingle of overwhelming pleasure and overpowering pain. She feels like she's burning from the inside as something furious and demanding slams into her, knocking her back, she falls onto the couch, passing out.


	31. ATROPHY 1

**ATROPHY 1 (Day 20)**

* * *

The morning traffic swarms around her as she hustles to cross the street with her cell phone held to her ear with an upraised shoulder. In one hand she holds a cardboard coffee holder cradling two styrofoam containers; one coffee and the other an herbal tea for her 'recovering addict' cousin. In her other hand, various folders and her purse. Lois crosses swiftly toward the beckoning golden globe of the Planet dodging impatient honking vehicles.

"Chloe, pick-up, pick-up, pick…" Lois' eyes widen as a car speeds past her. "Hey, watch it asshole! I'm walking here, blind mother-f... " The voicemail beeps and the sound of Chloe's chipper message sounds in her ear, cutting off her rant. "Chlo, this is like the fifth message I've left. Are you avoiding me? I said I was sorry about last night." Lois jogs to the slowly closing door of the building trying to slip inside. "I mean technically it wasn't my fault Chlo. I didn't know Smallivlle and his hamster were going to be there… you can't…" Lois nods to the security guard as she enters. "… don't pin this on me." She breathes as she waits at the elevator bank with a group of nameless others. Cradling the papers to her chest, she frees a hand for her cell phone and lowers her voice to a whisper. "Chloe please, just… just pick-up or call me back or whatever. I'm worried." Taking the phone from her ear, Lois sighs as the door to the elevator opens, and she rushes inside.

--

'_You are my chosen. I Kal-El, Son of Jor-El, give you, Chloe Ann Sullivan, all of me. To join together wholly. My love. My soul. My mate. My partner. Until the ends of time... I need you!' _The unfamiliar words orbit his mind, saturating his thoughts and resonating to his core, to his very being. The words, those powerful words, he spoke them to her. A litany meant only for Chloe… his Chosen. Clark can still feel them taking shape, remaking him from the inside out.

Sitting at the kitchen counter, Clark idly scrutinizes his strong solid hands. They're so recognizable to him; the same hands he used to pitch hay and the same hands he used to tend to the animals and fix that damned old tractor. They're the same hands he washed with and dressed with. The very same ones, that held _her _and comforted _her_. The ones that caressed _her _and loved _her_. He used these hands to brush her hair back and gently hold her delicate softer ones. He loves the feel of her satin skin under these hands and… he needs to focus.

His hands, right? They were the same - unchanged and familiar. So how is it that he feels so _unfamiliar_, so foreign in his own body? It hadn't been just last night, he's felt the change coming on for years, and more so, over the last few weeks ever since she walked away. Turned her back on him all because of the other one. Clark scowls down at his familiar hands. It's because of the other one, the one who was supposed to love him, the one that betrayed him and lied to him and forced his Chosen away from him and… he should be concentrating. Clark takes a deep steadying breathe, then narrows his eyes at the counter in thought.

OK, change, he felt different, something pushing what he knew, shoving who he was, who _she's_ known out of the way. Making room for… what, he isn't sure. But for all he didn't know, there's one thing he is certain of, and this one thing puzzles him the most. He is no longer merely Clark Kent. Clark frowns down at his clasped hands. He wonders if Clark Kent ever really existed? Will Chloe know him when she sees him? She knows Clark Kent but…Will she accept _him_? God, he needs her. Will she ever come back to him? Clark shudders at the notion of never being near her again. Never seeing her glowing smile again. Never having her in his arms again.

He lowers his head to the counter dejectedly. He shouldn't think these things. She has to come back, she just has to. How would he be able to breathe without her. Clark tries to dispel the dismal thoughts and struggles desperately to reign in his feelings of despair and focus. If he can concentrate on when it started, he can possibly gain some understanding of what's happening to him? God, it would be so much better if she were here. He would be able to do this with her. Chloe is brilliant. She would be able to tell him who he is in a heart beat.

Heart beat? Clark attempts to stretch his hearing but - he sighs in defeat - to no avail. Ever since he woke up his powers have been going in and out randomly. He lets out an exasperated breath. This has to be temporary. He can't go the rest of his life without hearing Chloe? This is torture. If he can't be near her, he at least needs to hear her, if he could just….FOCUS!! Clark slaps an aggravated hand down on the countertop, it shakes violently but doesn't break. Shit! If he was at full power, the kitchen island would be kindling. Running a trembling hand through his disheveled hair, Clark continues his rumination. Where was he? Oh yeah, who he is, when the change in him began right?

It began when Jonathan Kent had shown him his ship and told him who Clark _wasn't_, at 14, the life he was accustomed to ended. Everything he'd been convinced of crashed and died and a new life began. A life of conspiracies and lies. A life where he hid from the most important people to him. A life where he hid and lied to Chloe. No wonder _she _hated him, loathed him. He's so undeserving. She is so much better than him. Why would she want to be a part of this life? He's so unworthy of any part of her and this life of… dawning? Everything that has been working in him from that time of the great reveal up until now, every little change that had been slowly taking shape inside of him, had finally come to a head last night... in his dream. Their dream.

Clark shuts his eyes and fists his hands on the countertop as his memory replays the vision, that dream had been so vivid and so alive, so very powerful. Was it just a dream? It couldn't have been simply imagination, it was more than a torrid fantasy. Intellectually, he knows dreams aren't real. He knows he hadn't consummated his bond with Chloe. He knows he never ever felt the completion of being joined to her, of being inside her. Of feeling her love him, want him just as much as he desires her. He knows... but how can he reconcile the dream with the very tangible forces, the potent sensations left in him, permeating through him? Undoubtedly, something transformed him last night, or rather something completed the metamorphosis that had been taking shape for the last 7 years. And now, now he's no longer merely, simply Clark Kent. He isn't even sure if he's just Kal-El. The only certainty left, the only unwavering knowledge that remains now, is that whatever or whoever he is, is solely and completely… Chloe's.

He belongs to her. Chloe now possesses him in a way, that even his limited sexual experience can never compare. He gave himself to her fully, entirely... willingly. Mind, body and soul – he is hers to do with as she pleases. Last night Clark felt the transference, he felt the shift of energy, even now, he can feel a part of him missing. And craving that part of her that still remains out of his grasp. He needs her. He loves her so much that each inhale gets harder to exhale. Clark heaves a ragged breath from the sudden onrush of despair and hopelessness - Chloe walked away from him. She rejected him… again. She doesn't want him. How can he survive without her? What did…

A light noxious sensation comes upon Clark suddenly. Forced to swallow thickly, Clark takes a deep breath to stave off the feeling of nausea. The more he breathes the stronger the feeling becomes, until fragile arms circle around his stomach from behind and tiny hands flatten on his chest. The sickly feeling making him tremble.

Lana kisses the side of Clark's neck in a morning greeting, making him cringe slightly with inexplicable revulsion. Clark's stomach roils.

"Good Morning." She breathes, smiling into his neck.

Removing his folded hands from the table, he lowers them to hers. With his forefingers and thumbs he delicately pries her hands off of his chest, and scoots off of the stool and out of her embrace. How dare she touch him? He doesn't belong to her! What would his Chosen think if she knew? This girl has disrespected and disgraced his bond and…

Lana frowns in confusion. "What's the matter Clark?" She asks while he switches to another stool.

"Can you please not touch me?" Clark mumbles, his head bent towards the counter.

Taken aback by his request, Lana's frown deepens, "What do you mean, don't touch you?"

"Exactly what I said." He answers to the counter. An unseen frown settles on his face as well. Why does he feel like this? It's like his insides are twisting and… is he light headed? He needs Chloe. She'd make him feel better. She's his sun. But she's not here is she, because of this other one. Clark takes another deep breath, hoping the intake of air will assuage the nausea. Is Lana causing this? If figures she'd be making him ill. All of his life, she's caused him pain and now…

"Clark. Is this about last night? I mean we…"

"No!" He cuts in loudly, a scowl replacing the frown, the disgust heightened by the remembrance of her violation last night. "It's not about that." He continues, "And we will not talk about what happened last night… what you did to me." He pauses, what would his Chloe do if she found out about this violation? Lana gapes at him, absorbing the implication of his words. "Except, I will say this." His tone is unyielding, though his back remains turned to her. "I'd appreciate it if you don't do anything like that again!"

"Excuse me!" The tiny brunette counters appallingly, her arms folded defensively over her chest.

"You heard me! This is not up for debate." He says coolly.

"Are you kidding me?" The indignation in her voice is undeniable. "We're in a relationship Clark! I am so tired of you acting like you're so fucking innocent! Like, I just took advantage and tainted your precious virtue." Clark remains unmoved, stoically sitting at the counter as if unaffected by her words. "How dare you?" She seethes.

"I'm serious Lana. It won't happen again." Clark replies steadily.

Lana narrows her eyes at the back of Clark's head. "We're in a relationship Clark!" She reminds him forcefully. "Couples touch each other, couples have sex!" She spits out. "People in love like to show it sometimes."

Clark frowns in thought, considering Lana's words for a moment. People in love do tend to show it physically. When will he get the opportunity to show Chloe how much he loves her? He can still recall vividly the feel of being inside of her, and at once his body reacts. But that hadn't been real, he reminds himself woefully. Yet, his body and soul yearns to make it real. He _needs _to make it true. His body begins to tremble lightly from the restraint, Clark clenches his fists once again.

'_To join together wholly.' _The Kryptonian oath whispers in his mind. He loves Chloe, has loved her with everything in him. It took him until now to admit it, but he's known from the first time he met her that she would be his life. He belonged to Chloe, was connected to her from that very first kiss. Even before he'd been made aware of his alien lineage, the one thing he was certain of was the depths of feeling he held for Chloe. Clark bows his head dejectedly to the table. Guess it serves him right for rejecting her. If only he'd told her sooner. If only he was more honest with her and himself. If only… If she knew that it was never her love that he refused, but that foreign feeling, that unfamiliar part of himself which terrified him, that he rejected. The inexplicable power that she evoked in him, that only ever appeared in her presence, that always contrasted with what he always _thought _he'd wanted. To be normal. And to his very shame, to be less than what he truly is. Clark Kent wanted to be less than for… Lana. But he is no longer merely Clark Kent. He is not _merely _anything, he is more. Chloe, his Chosen made him more.

"Clark Kent did love you." He says lowly.

"What?" Lana gasps, shocked by his words. What the hell does he mean, 'did love me'? She wonders silently.

Ignoring her consternation, he states, "I think it's best that we switch back to separate rooms."

"Clark…" She begins to object taking a step toward him, but halts her movement at seeing his countering shift away from her. "What's going on?" She asks wearily. "You can't sleep in the guest room, that's…"

"I won't." Clark informs. "You'll take back the guest room."

"What!" Lana shouts. "Are you breaking up with me Clark?"

His head tilts to the side at her words, as if he's listening to something in the distance. "Maybe we should." He answers. That may be best. Chloe is the most important. Clark Kent may have loved this other one, but she is not his Chosen.

Lana breathes heavily, shaking her head vehemently. "This makes no sense Clark." She refuses to believe this is what he wants. They worked hard to get to this place in their relationship. This is their real chance. No! Clark loves her. He's just confused. Upset maybe… possibly. But, no! No! This is not happening.

"Clark you love me." Lana ripostes firmly, as if reminding him of a forgotten fact. "We love each other! I don't believe you want this." She shakes her head again, "The Clark Kent I know loves me, has always loved me." She points out.

Clark frowns, rising from the stool still facing away from her. "Well, maybe that's the problem." He says sullenly as he begins to walk listlessly towards the back door, perplexed. His mind drowning in confusion. The Clark Kent she knew never really existed, did he? He doesn't even know himself, anymore. Does it really matter? He is whatever Chloe needs him to be.

"Don't walk away from me!" Lana commands, her breath coming in rabid pants. Clark pauses at the screen door. "Look at me!" She pleads. If he just looks at me, she thinks, he'll remember. He'll remember our love.

Clark turns slowly to face her. Lana takes a step, then falters backward in shock at what she sees. Blue eyes- unrecognizable crystal cerulean eyes stare back at the tiny brunette, from the familiar face.

Lana's mouth works, wordlessly until she blinks in astonishment. "Who are you?" She breathes out.

Clark shakes his head, turning back toward the door and states before exiting, "I don't know anymore."

--

"Chloe? I know you're probably screening your calls." The sound of Lois' breath sounds out over the answering machine, her voice loud and clear in the silent and still pent house. "You know I hate calling Ollie's house. See what you've driven me to?" She says in frustration. "Please pick-up Chloe! How many times do I have to apologize?" Lois pauses. "OK. OK. I'll let you be mad today. But that's it! I'm warning you. If I don't hear from you by tomorrow, I am coming over there! And I really don't want to come over there, so you really don't want me to come over there so just…" Her voice lowers to a vulnerable plea, "Please little cousin, just call me back. Please." Lois hangs up.

Chloe remains cataleptically motionless, collapsed on the sofa. Her cousin's plea falling on deaf ears. The only sign of life being the steady rise and fall of her chest with her deep inhales, exhales.

--

"Are you ever going to come back into the house?" Kara voices from the top of the loft stairs.

The sun has already set and Clark has spent most of the day sprawled out length ways on the sofa, his arm folded across his face. "Has she moved out of my room yet?" He asks quietly.

"I don't think so." She replies, crossing toward her lounging cousin. Kara lowers herself onto the steamer trunk in front of him. "Was she supposed to?"

"I asked her to."

Kara smiles coyly. "I can check if you'd like. I can even help her move her things out of the house… it may be more convenient." She voices almost gleefully.

"I don't want to kick her out Kara." Or does he? She hasn't really done anything to him. He wonders what Chloe would prefer. Shaking his head Clark amends tiredly. "I just... I just want my space back."

"The house _is _your space Kal." Kara points out. "If you don't want…" She intakes a sharp breath, her words stuck in her throat as Clark lowers his arm to glower at her. "Your eyes…" She trails off in astonishment, raising a tentative hand to his face. Her fingers stop short of his eyebrows. "_Those _eyes… I haven't seen them since you were a baby."

"What?" Clark's brows furrow in confusion.

A bright smile grows on Kara's face. "That blue, Kal. When you were a baby your eyes were of that color. I haven't seen…" She shakes her head in wonder. "… your eyes are usually more turquoise, a bluish green. But those…" She nods. "… those are the eyes of our House."

Clark frowns, "So what does that mean?" He asks quietly.

"I do not know, but it is very exciting to see again." Kara exclaims almost bouncing in her seat.

"This is not a good thing!" Clark growls, glaring at his cousin's apparent mirth. "These are not my eyes Kara!" But if his Chosen prefers him this way. All she's known are the eyes of Clark Kent. Will Chloe accept him like this? Chloe, he reflects internally, is used to the strange and unusual, but would she still love him with the eyes of a stranger? Clark sighs to himself, it doesn't really matter, does it? She didn't want him the other way either.

"On the contrary Kal. They very much are." She smiles, blatantly ignoring Clark's displeasure.

Clark groans, shutting his newly-former blue eyes, closing the topic of discussion. "I hate you."

The blonde Kryptonian waves her hand dismissively, "You love me." She says flippantly. "But back to subject of voting your chosen off the island…"

"You're spending way too much time with Lois." Clark grouses. "And don't call her that." He directs firmly toward Kara.

His cousin pauses for a moment, "Well you don't want me to call her your pet so…" She trails off uncertainly.

"Lana is _not _my chosen." Clark voices clear and exact. His words carrying a hint of offense. How dare she even disrespect Chloe in that way? Raising his head slightly, Clark meets Kara's eyes directly, unwaveringly and reaffirms. "She is _not _my chosen."

Kara nods mutely at the conviction in his voice. Thankful that her cousin has finally gotten a clue, but she's puzzled by this sudden change. What caused this new found assurance?

With Kara's acceptance, he plops his back down to the sofa, again folding his arm across his face. He's tired, so very tired. His body feels heavy and weighted by some unseen force. He just wants to get in his bed and sleep but… is the other one still in there? He tried using his x-ray vision but that took too much out of him and gave out halfway through the barn walls. If he knew what was happening to him, if he was aware of…

Clark's hesitant voice breaks the uncomfortable silence. "Can I ask you something about Krypton?"

Kara's back straightens in her seat on the trunk, looking down at Clark she replies with, "Anything."

"Did our people…" Clark breathes out before continuing. "… did they get sick around others that weren't their chosen life-mate?"

Kara frowns, clearly bemused. "I do not understand the question."

"Lana makes me sick." Clark blurts out.

A short laugh escapes her, "Well she often has the same affect on me."

"No." He lowers his arm and with much effort pushes himself up into a sitting position. Clark faces his cousin directly. "I mean, she makes me _literally _ill." Seeing Kara's frown deepen he adds. "Like when she touches me or gets too close to me. Did anything like that happen on Krypton?"

Tilting her head to the side, eyes going unfocused, Kara sifts through the memories of her lost home, and answers after a beat. "No. Not that I recall Kal." She returns her gaze to Clark. His lack of strength not going unnoticed.

"Even if the bonding process or ritual or whatever is interrupted?" He prods.

Kara shakes her head. "A life bonding _ceremony _is never interrupted."

"Are you sure?" Clark pushes urgently.

Kara narrows her eyes speculative at his tone. "I am certain. It is not impossible, but highly improbable for there to be any interruptions. There has never been any case on Krypton, that I know of, where this has happened. Any disruption of a life bonding ceremony would have become public knowledge. Who knows what the consequences of such an action would have been." She shakes her head. "No. I am fairly certain, that has never happened." She wonders silently, if this is what has happened to Kal.

Has her cousin engaged in a bonding ceremony. Kara shakes her head at the thought. It's not possible, is it? Surely not. Kara is certain the bond between destined partners takes years to grow before joining officially. Such an action can not be performed on a whim. Kara narrows her eyes at her distracted cousin. What has he done? He couldn't have bonded. He stated the pet wasn't his chosen and the only likely candidate Kara has seen is Chloe, she hasn't been around for weeks. No. Her cousin hasn't bonded with her, has he? It isn't possible. Kara rolls her eyes at herself, this is preposterous. Why is she allowing Kal's idiocy to affect her?

Clark begins to silently panic, darting his eyes away from his cousin's blatant observation of him. She's supposed to have the answers. God, she's supposed to know these things. Lana interrupted the process… he's certain Lana interfered. What did she do? What's going to happen to him now? This has to be why he feels vacant and... hollow. If only Chloe were here. She'd be able to fix this. She'd be able to…

"Why do you ask?" Kara's query cuts through his momentary freak out.

Clark glances at her before lowering his eyes to his lap. "Um… I… I was just wondering."

Keeping her narrowed eyes on her lying cousin, Kara nods. She doesn't buy it, but she'll let it be for now.

* * *

**Day 21**

The freight elevator in the Clock Tower comes to a bumpy stop at the pent house floor. Lois curses silently as she stumbles forward a little. Upon opening the elevator door, she calls out to her MIA cousin sharply. "Chloe Ann Sullivan, I know your little perky ass is in here! Come out, come out where ever you are?" Lois slowly walks deeper into the pent-house, taking time to look around her. She can hear the beep of unanswered messages. "Probably the 20 messages I left." She murmurs to herself, as she enters the well lit living room. Stopping short, her heart beat quickens at seeing Chloe lying lifelessly, one arm hanging flaccidly off of the sofa and the other strewn at her side.

"Chloe?" Lois calls hesitantly in a weak, timid voice. Why isn't she moving? She can see the rise and fall of Chloe's chest, which diminishes some of Lois' anxiety. She's breathing but why...

"Chloe honey?" She calls again as she takes a tentative step toward her. Chloe has never been a real heavy sleeper, years of always keeping an ear open for news kept her alert. Chloe should have heard her yelling when she came in. With this thought Lois drops her belongings, along with the customary coffee container and swiftly descends upon her cousin's inert form.

She shakes the smaller girls shoulders harshly. "Chloe!" Lois cries. "Chloe. God... please." She pleads, roughly pulling Chloe's limp body upright.

A low murmur almost like a wheeze escapes the blondes mouth from the movement.

Lois sits beside her cradling the smaller girl in her arms and jostling her body brutally, attempting to provoke some response, any response. Wake up! Lois' mind screams as her eyes cloud over with emotion, a tear slipping from her. "Please Chloe!" Lois begs, not letting up the momentum of her rocking.

Chloe can hear Lois' voice, pulling her upward through a thick fog. Where is she? She feels bogged down and weighted. The fog quakes around her, making her mind stagger. Why is the world shaking? The violent motion makes her nauseous/ She just needs the earthquake to end. She needs to think.

"Stop." Chloe forces out in a quiet drawl.

"Thank God." Her cousin breathes, relief flooding her senses. "Now open your eyes sweetie, Just look at me." She adds gently, lowering Chloe to her lap. Lois brushes the wayward blonde strands from Chloe's forehead and eyes. "Open your eyes Chlo."

_Open your eyes_. She hears her cousin's request. Lois sounds worried. She never really calls her sweetie unless she's consoling her. God, Chloe hates when Lois calls her sweetie, and even worse she hates any occassion that calls for Lois to use the endearment. Why is Lois so concerned anyway? Chloe pushes strenuously upward through the fog. Her body feels hampered down and heavy. Open your eyes, Chloe commands herself. She struggles as her eye lids flutter slowly.

Lois begins to breathe much easier upon seeing her cousin's movements. An involuntary smile quirking her lips as more unwitting tears escape her. "Good." She nods, her smile widening as Chloe looks up at her through groggy heavy-laden eyes. "Good."

Chloe opens her mouth to speak, but her mouth is dry and… chalky? What the hell happened to her? She licks her chapped lips, before trying to speak again. "Coffee." She rasps out. She needs coffee. Lots and lots of caffeine.

The brunette cousin laughs in relief. "Coffee huh? I thought you gave it up?"

Chloe tries to muster a smile, but it takes too much effort. She's pretty sure it came out wobbly. She needs coffee, that's all she knows. Forget remission and recovery. She's a fucking addict and caffeine is her drug of choice. She can't even pin-point the reason she gave it up in the first place. She must be a masochist of the highest order. But not today, she needs to function and the only way to function is with massive amounts, heart palpating amounts of coffee. She needs it.

"Just need coffee." She replies her voice hoarse and scratchy.

Chloe clears her throat as Lois helps her into an upright position. She's so weak and sore, her muscles feel atrophied. Chloe frowns, she hasn't felt like this since she awoke in the morgue. She didn't die again, did she? No! She brushes away that memory swiftly. It doesn't matter. She's alive now. However, she feels empty and oddly… full. As if her body is crammed and occupied to overflowing. Yet at the same time, not at all complete, like something's missing. It's strange, such a weird dichotomy. Whatever happened… what did happen? The last thing she remembers is she was watching a God-awful movie. Chloe pats the cushions lightly, and recalls laying on this very same sofa and, and - she squints her eyes in concentration. …And nothing, complete blank. She must have passed out then. There's nothing strange about that, it was pretty late at night. So why does she feel like she's missing a detail?

Lois' voice sounds loudly from the direction of the kitchen, interrupting her journey of discovery. Chloe hadn't even realized her cousin had moved from her side. "Chlo, what happened to the coffee maker? I know for a fact Ollie used to have a Mr. Coffee. Though I would like to forget… there are so _many _things I would like to forget. Like him dumping me unexpectedly with some bullshit about loving me. Like if he really loved me he wouldn't have broken up with me… the bastard! I mean did you know right before, he planned this…" Lois walks back into the living room. "…trip for the both of us and… oh yeah you were there." The tall brunette takes a deep breath, glancing at her cousin sheepishly. "Sorry, forget I said anything. My mind gets away from me sometimes." Chloe answers with a empathetic smile as Lois continues on point. "So where's Mr. Coffee?" She finishes cocking an inquisitive brow.

Chloe's grin turns coy. "I kind of... threw him away." She grimaces, slowly raising a hand to her neck, Chloe clears her raspy throat again.

Shrugging Lois dismisses her cousins confession. It wasn't her coffee maker anyway. "OK. Well let me run down to the shop across the street. Not the best coffee in the world, but it will do in a pinch." She informs, hating that she remembers that too. Picking up her purse and jacket from the spot she initially dropped them Lois crosses over the spilled liquid, thankful she didn't get any of the discarded beverage on her possessions and points, "I'll clean that up when I get back. Don't…" Turning fully toward her weakened little cousin, Lois adds. "… please don't go anywhere or go back to sleep. I can't..." She trails off shutting her eyes and swallows, trying to block out the image of Chloe's lifeless body in the dam and seeing her there on the sofa like... She pushes the painful thoughts away and continues. "...Just don't... I can't do this again in the same hour OK?"

Chloe simply nods in reply, wondering what exactly it was that she couldn't do again as Lois exits.

--

Why does she keep trying to touch him? He asked her politely not to. He didn't mince words did he? He stated it clearly right? So why the fuck does she keep reaching her slimy hand out to him? And after he made Kara move her things out of his bedroom why did she persist in trying to sneak into his bed? It was really a good thing he couldn't sleep otherwise he probably would have woken up with a lapful of Lana... AGAIN! What the hell is wrong with her? Clark scowls in disgust at the rafters in the loft. He doesn't want to have to send Lana off of the farm, she hasn't really done anything wrong except... Clark grimaces in reflection, swallowing the bile rising from the remembered pain. She threw away his coffee. He shuts his eyes tight, fisting his hands in his lap. Her coffee. She just discarded his Chosen's coffee as if it were nothing.

Clark recalls when he descended the stairs last night, after her invasion into his bed. He entered the kitchen to find the counter bare and knew instantly that something was amiss. With long strides he went to the refrigerator upon opening it he knew, he _knew_. They were gone. They were all gone. Clark breathes heavily, what he felt then was akin to panic. He thinks he must have had a panic attack. He couldn't breathe. All gone. TRASHED! He found himself stumbling out of the house without even realizing it and escaping to his loft. Nothing left. Now he has nothing left. Only this. Clark hugs the treasured Watson, the laptop to his chest. The only thing he has. '_My love. My soul.' _His whispers mentally. His only remaining comfort. No one is going to take this away from him.

--

Lois crosses her legs in front of her as she leans back into the sofa beside her cousin. She watches Chloe silently for a moment, as the blonde guzzles down the very large coffee as if her life depended on it. Waiting. Lois is waiting to find out what happened. Why hadn't Chloe called her? Why had it been so difficult to wake her?

Chloe sighs as she lowers the container from her mouth, a satisfied grin creeping to her lips. She needed this. Why had she given it up again?

"What happened?" Lois asks abruptly with out preamble or segue

Chloe frowns turning her body toward Lois to give her cousin her full attention. "What do you mean?"

"I called you all day yesterday? What. Happened?" The brunette pushes impatiently. Now that the concern is out of the way, she's just plain annoyed at being ignored.

"Yesterday?" Chloe's frown deepens. "I talked to you yesterday. We went to The Ace of Clubs and..."

"No." Lois cuts her off. "That was two days ago."

Chloe gazes at her cousin in bewilderment before she smiles uncertainly. "Not your best work Lo. You're no Ferrell, but your still a contender." She quips.

The brunette cousin shakes her head, "I'm being serious Chloe. That was two days ago. Yesterday you didn't show up for work or answer any of my calls. I must have called you a gazzillion times. And I'm sending you my Sprint bill by the way."

The blonde gapes, her heart skipping a beat at Lois' words. "God, what must Grant think? I didn't call or... or show up... God..." Chloe begins to panic.

"Hey. Don't worry about Grant." Lois cuts in assuaging her fear. "I told him you needed a day for personal matters."

Chloe sighs in relief. "Thank you." She offers slumping into the sofa cushions.

"You were gone all day with no word. I covered for you, so you owe me an explanation Chloe." Lois insists.

Chloe shuts her eyes attempting to process what her cousin's telling her. It makes no sense. How can she be missing a whole day? The last thing she remembers is sitting on this sofa. Before that they were at the club and she ran into Clark. Chloe runs a tired hand through her tousled hair. She remembers the feeling Clark evoked in her. She can remember being near him in the alley. God, the power and energy, the heat. The feel of him being so close to her. She felt like he was surrounding her and it was as if his presence was slipping into her...

At this thought her eyes pop open wide with realization. That's the last thing she remembers. She was laying on the sofa and out of nowhere, she felt him all around her and it was as if all at once Clark physically slammed into her, going through her. She's never felt so connected to anyone in her life. It was the most glorious, painful and exciting, terrifying sensation she's ever felt. And then there was nothing. She isn't surprised she passed out, or slept a day away given the experience. It was too powerful, entirely too overwhelming.

"Chloe?" Lois snaps her out of her reflection.

She bites her lip, hesitating to answer. She can't share this with her cousin. Lois would never understand. Hell, she didn't even understand. How could she put something so wonderfully spiritual into words anyway? "Um... I think I..." Chloe swallows, her mouth suddenly dry. She takes a sip of her cooling coffee. "... I think I was still asleep."

Lois gapes at her response. "All day?" She asks in disbelief.

"Um hmm." She nods sheepishly before gulping down more of her coffee. She's going to need more soon. Chloe glances at the luxurious coffee table where another container awaits patiently for her consumption.

"Chloe you were asleep for a whole day?" Lois shakes her head incredulously. "We should go to the doctor. That's not right."

"No!" The blonde shouts, laying a tremulous hand on her cousin's arm. "No doctors. Ever." Seeing Lois reject her proclamation, Chloe insists. "Remember my kry- meteor infection?" She says glumly. "I can't go to any doctors."

Lois shuts her eyes in frustration, breathing deep before answering. "Well we have to do something Chlo. People just don't sleep for a full day."

Chloe frowns. "And people normally don't bring other people back from the dead with their tears." She counters flatly.

Staring at her small cousin for a heart stopping minute. Lois finally concedes with a terse nod of her head. "Fine." She says begrudgingly. "But if happen to pull a Rip Winkle again. I'm taking you to the doctor!" She warns before smirking at her cousin. "You'll be too unconscious to notice anyway."


	32. ATROPHY 2

**Day 24**

'_I think it's time you switch into Super Clark mode now.' _Her voice suggests like a soothing touch, floating through his consciousness. His chosen speaks to him in the waning silence of the Kansas afternoon, trying to assuage his agony and temper his despair. Offering from the recesses of his memory, consolation for the loss of their final tie.

Clark strains, gritting his teeth as he struggles and pushes his mind further, harder, desperately trying to reach her. The pressure building fiercely provoking a spiked pain, ripping through his head, until he's forced to relent, rubbing his temples languorously.

"Chlo... I wish I could." Clark sighs, defeated. The tone of his voice is strained with tears.

"I miss you so much." He sniffs as he closes his eyes, shutting out the world, blinding himself to his failings. "It's not fair."

'_Maybe you need to feel this right now.' _

Maybe he needs to feel this. He doesn't need this. Right now, Clark doesn't want to feel anything. Nothing, is what he needs. If he can't have her, if he can't be with her… God, if he can't even hear her, nothing matters. It's all pointless, meaningless. Nothing feels right without her near him, without her by his side. Chloe is gone. He's lost her and he's lost the last connection he had.

Clark tightens the lids of his eyes, a tear slipping from him at the longing, the boundless ache in the remnants of his soul. That rhythmic tone of her pulse, the beat of her heart is quieted, gone and unavailable to him with the loss of his preternatural hearing. He hadn't realized until it had been silenced how much he'd depended on it; how much the cadence of her heart provided to the movement of his life. Sure, the fact that he could hear Chloe all the time wasn't unknown to him and honestly Clark gained a sense of security and comfort from that knowledge. He hates himself for taking it for granted. That knowledge that she was never too far away, never out of his reach, but he never understood how constant her sound was, how intricately it was woven into his mind. He never realized that every thought was punctuated and measured with the pace of her heart, but no longer. It's gone. She's gone and he'd never felt so truly lost and alone before now.

He was aware that his powers had been glitching; going in and out intermittently for the last four days. Yet it didn't matter. Everything, everyone that mattered was no longer within his reach and he'd forgotten what it felt like to care. So when his super hearing left him yesterday morning, he thought nothing of it. It was hours later as he was plowing the fields that it occurred to him, smashing awareness forcefully into him, that his enhanced hearing hadn't come back. He wasn't able to hear her heartbeat, that faint background music of her pulse he'd grown so accustomed to was silenced and the knowledge had sent Clark into an instant panic.

Jumping off of the plow, he attempted to speed to Metropolis. Her heart was muted. She was gone, lost to him. His breath heaved with frantic pants as his mind conjured images of her lifeless body. His Chosen calling to him for help but being unable to hear her. He couldn't bare it. Clark's heart pounded dangerously fast in his chest. She couldn't be dead, she couldn't have left him that way. The morbid thoughts circled his mind insistently, clamoring for action. Clark howled with terror and frustration when he found his speed was gone as well and sprinting as fast as was humanly possible to the house to retrieve the keys to the truck, he stopped suddenly realizing that he could hear nothing but the pounding of his foot falls and the faint sounds of the animals in the fields. It was his hearing, he breathed. Chloe's life wasn't gone, only his ability to hear her. And somehow he knew it wasn't coming back. Even still, the desperation, the urgency to go to her didn't abate. He had to be sure. He had to see her and be certain she was still alive, not lost, not lost and lifeless.

As he sat behind the wheel of the truck, key in the ignition with both hands steadily clutching the wheel, the vision of her walking away from him accosted him viciously. _'Clark, I'm sorry.'_ He gasped. His tense muscles were shaking violently from the onslaught of the pain from her words; at the sight of her back receding further from him as if it were a physical blow. He couldn't survive that again. If she walked away from him; if she denied him another time, Clark was sure he'd die. As it was, he felt his own life crumbling around him, inside of him. He was truly powerless.

At that moment Clark wept, wretchedly sobbing from the sudden departure of his hearing, the loss of their connection... it was too much. He had tried and tried, frantically stretching his hearing, desperately pushing his senses until his nose bled from the constant strain and pressure. Last night, he'd attempted to sleep, in hopes that the new day would bring her back, repair in him whatever was broken. However, his dreams were deathly silent and the darkness suffocated him, crushing him with her distance. It was fruitless. He wasn't whole without her. Added to that, Chloe no longer visits him at night. She no longer offers assuring caresses and loving words. He's lost her now. His love was gone completely.

'_Clark, whether you wanna see it or not, you're one of us now.' _

However he still has this. Clark thought as he clutched 'Watson' tighter to him, lying lethargically on the old worn sofa in the loft. He still has the memory of her voice, he can still hear the melody of her tone in the various conversations they've shared.

"I'd be anything you want me to be Chloe." He answers quietly. His voice drifting indolently in the silent loft.

--

'Keep moving. Keep working. Work harder.' Chloe chants silently to herself as she maneuvers through the crowded bull pen. 'Keep moving. Can't stay still.' She shuffles, clinging the file folders to her chest, she stops at her desk for a moment swiftly scanning through the research she'd already accomplished. A red light beeps on the desk phone signaling a missed call. Slamming the files onto her desk, Chloe lets out a groan of frustration. She doesn't have time for this. She needs to stay busy, keep on the move, but this could be important, she reminds herself, rounding her desk, Chloe flops down into her chair.

Irritated, she flips her hair out of her face and picks up the receiver, dialing in her voicemail code. Half distracted, Chloe listens as the messages play, tapping her pen forcefully on the desktop.

She still feels Clark. All day she's been feeling that buzzing sensation vibrating through her body. It won't stop, won't quiet and in addition to that, she keeps getting whiffs of Clark in the air around her. Never letting up, a continued assault that she's certain is meant to drive her crazy. She has to be losing her mind. For the better part of the day, Chloe's found herself looking at the stairs to the bull pen, expecting to see Clark's powerfully masculine form descend. Even in the departmental meeting, she couldn't help the continual glances at the door to the conference room, hoping and dreading for the door to swing open and the secretary to come in delivering a message that she had a visitor.

Chloe sighs, her shoulders sagging as she absentmindedly jots down notes. She misses him so badly; so terribly that sometimes it's hard to breathe through the desperation. She can't help wanting to see him, wanting to be near him and this buzz and hum in her body that usually signals his arrival only worsened her desire. Her only recourse, the only thing that has kept her sane, is the overriding effect of caffeine with excessive amounts of espresso. She must have had at least 5 large cups already. It's the only thing keeping her from losing it, from screaming... that and staying busy. Keeping on the move. If she can keep moving, stay on the go, Chloe can ignore the hum in her body. She can disregard the scent of him around her. She just has to stay in motion.

This was just the call she'd been waiting for. She's gotten a tip on a story and she's going to follow it, thankfully this will keep her busy for the rest of the day. Rising from her seat, Chloe grabs her purse from her desk drawer along with her cell phone and voice recorder from atop her chaotic desk.

Hustling across the bull pen to catch the elevator an arm reaches out and grabs her. She stumbles backward from the sudden offset to her momentum.

Chloe whirls around, anger lacing her voice and lines of agitation marring her features. "Whatever it is Lo, I don't have time."

"Make time Chloe!" Lois commands, towering over the smaller girl. "You haven't eaten all day. Let's grab a late lunch."

Chloe huffs in annoyance, flipping her bangs out of her eyes impatiently. "Not now. I'm on the trail of a story. We'll eat later." She says hastily, practically bouncing on her feet with nervous energy, her eyes darting from her cousin to the stairs frequently. "I gotta go." She pushes on and turns to rush toward the closing elevator doors.

Lois reaches for her again, halting her progress, Chloe breathes deep attempting to temper her rising anger to no avail. "No Chloe. For the last two days, you've been on the 'trail of a story." She intones, unable to shield the concern in her eyes and words. "I haven't seen you down anything but coffee in days. Come with me for lunch, the story will still be there when we get back." She pleads.

The blonde reporter rounds on her cousin abruptly, causing Lois to take a step back. Her eyes blazing in fury, her knuckles white from her tightened fists. "Damn it Lois! I said no! Stop fucking mothering me!" She shouts. "Maybe if you took the time to focus on yourself and your own career you wouldn't have to..." Chloe clamps her mouth and eyes shut, cutting off her words. She didn't mean to go there. Her cousin's personal life is her own business and whatever she does with Grant Gabriel is none of hers.

Taken aback by her cousin's anger and a little insulted by her vehemence, Lois crosses her arms over her chest in an unconscious display of defensiveness. "What Chloe? I wouldn't have to what?" She challenges, her own anger igniting.

The smaller cousin heaves a steadying breath, there were times Lois could be very astute. Chloe has no doubt that Lois understood her implication. Chloe really hadn't meant to insult her, but damn it! "Nothing." She says quietly, opening her eyes to meet Lois' directly. "Just... just leave me alone OK." She adds, turning away from Lois and walking speedily up the stairs.

--

**Day 26**

'_Newsflash. You've always been in love with Lana.' _

"No." Clark drawls tiredly, shaking his head back and forth on the old sofa cushions. It's not true. His Chosen couldn't believe that, could she? He'd _thought _he'd wanted the other one. It was his Chosen all long. It was always her.

'_I tried to deny it, thinking that maybe we could work something out, but it's like fate, Clark'. _

"No!" He shouts petulantly. "_We're_ fated. You and me. We're destined to be together. It's you Chloe! Always you." Clark rolls over facing the back of the sofa, his arms still clinging lovingly to Watson.

'_Inevitable, but always surprising when it actually happens.'_

He closes his eyes, his voice a low insistent murmur, "It's you I want Chloe. Only _you_. You're my Chosen."

"Kal."

Clark starts at his cousin's voice. Snapping his eyes open, he stares wide-eyed at the back of the sofa. When did she get back? Kara had been out of town with Jimmy, some concert or something, Clark didn't know. He didn't too much care, but he wasn't aware that she'd returned. Good, maybe she can handle the _other one _now. He's so tired of trying to fend her off. Thankfully, she leaves him alone when he's in the loft.

"Kal. Who are you talking to?" Kara inquires. She's been aware of his voice murmuring all day. She's heard him, she knows of whom he's been referring. She had hoped he was just talking to himself, but when she heard him call out his best friend's name… If only she can make him aware of his behavior, make him conscious of his own lunacy.

'_You know, sooner or later someone else is gonna find you.' _Chloe's voice whispers to him, a warning.

"No. She knows better than to come up here. She knows I don't want her here." He ripostes.

Kara steps toward his inert body. This is not right. She's mindful that he isn't addressing her but… why? He can't be talking to a _memory_, can he? She's seen this before on Krypton. Jena spoke to her deceased life-mate often enough, conjuring his voice from the memory of her Chosen, but Clark…The blonde Kryptonian shakes her head. These are the symptoms of a destroyed bond. She can't deny it now. Although there's no proof that a bond had been created, Kara can't argue the signs in front of her. She studies Clark for a moment longer before placing her hand on his shoulder, urging him to face her.

"Kal…" She says cautiously as if approaching an unpredictably wild beast. Which from her past experience, Kara knows he is. Jena was quite unpredictable and intensely irratic when she was in this state. Kara blinks, unexpected tears forming at the memory of her lost friend. "…Kal listen to me. You have to fight it." She presses ardently, gaining some of Clark's attention. His blue eyes are unfocused and clouded as he turns his head over his shoulder toward his cousin. Kara continues. "Kal, it's all in your head. You have to fight it. It _will _go away." She adds, brushing the fallen dark locks from his forehead.

Clark shakes his head slowly, dislodging her hand. "I don't want to fight it… she can't go away." He mumbles. Chloe can't leave him. This is all he has left.

His cousin takes a seat on the trunk across from him. "Kal. You have to. It's not real."

'_Well you can't be sure. I mean… it could have been a hallucination. You know a manifestation of your desires and fears.'_

"So what if it is? I don't want to give you up." Clark answers as he turns his back once again to his cousin. "I can't give you up." Why does she want to take Chloe away from him? Why won't Kara leave him alone? She's supposed to care about him, to take care of him, but she wants to take his Chosen away… No! He won't let her go. He can't survive without her. If care knew how much it hurt, if she was aware of the agony, she wouldn't ask this of him. She isn't that cruel, is she?

"Kal…" Kara begins, only to be ignored and overridden by his Chosen's voice in his head.

'_Gosh, Clark. I didn't realize super whining was one of your powers.' _

"I'm not whining." Clark sniffs. "I just want you to stay. Please stay." He begs, his voice small almost a whimper.

Kara stares at her cousin blindly. What should she do? Jena-Pax eventually got over the loss. True, she'd lost her vitality. No longer the lively, energetic friend she used to know, but she overcame, recovered. Kal can overcome too. He can come back from this. Kara just has to figure out how to… distraction. She needs to distract him.

"Kal…" She pauses to take a breath and steady her voice. She can't rush this, can't scare him off. Gently, she has to approach him gently. She begins again softly. " Kal, shouldn't you be out doing farmer things? I noticed the animals haven't been tended to." She encourages with a deceptively light tone.

'_God, Clark, you got to get on that one.' _Chloe's voice interjects.

He shakes his head, rejecting the idea. "I can't. I can't do anything without you… it doesn't matter anyway. I... don't have the abilities for it."

Kara gapes at him, trying to follow the obscurity in his answer. "Are you saying your strength gave out?" She blurts out harshly.

Her voice startles him. He'd forgotten Kara was there. Clark turns his head, gazing at her in stunned silence. When had she gotten so close to him? Had she heard what he said? He narrows his eyes at his oblivious cousin, bristling instantly from her invasion and glares at her hotly, his eyes blazing with a tinge of orange before flickering out. He dare she listen to him? His conversations with his Chosen are private.

"What do you want Kara?" He voices with a low threatening rumble. Why can't they leave him alone.

'…_anger is a natural human emotion.'  
_

"I want to help you." Kara frowns, furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

'_Sometimes, even heroes need to be saved.' _His Chosen lulls.

"Only you can save me. I need _you_." Clark whispers in response, his eyes unfocused once again.

"Listen to me." Kara urges, placing her hands on both sides of his face, needing him to focus on her. See _her_. "Listen Kal... what you're hearing is not real. It's not really her. You _have _to fight it." Kara's frantic to break him out of his delusions.

His arms tighten around the laptop, if he'd had his strength, he'd have crushed it. He shuts his eyes to Kara's words. Shutting out her truth. He doesn't want it, doesn't need it. All he needs is this. Chloe _is _real. Her voice _is _real. He remembers this. He needs this. Why is Kara trying to take this away from him?

'_We all know that your brain is wired a little differently than the rest of ours.' _

"So I can still hear you, even though I can't hear you anymore." He counters.

Disregarding his words, Kara looks down at his folded arms. "What do you have there?" She narrows her eyes to x-ray, zooming through flesh, muscle and bone, seeing what her cousin clutches so tightly to him and gasps when she makes out the elusive laptop. "I've been looking all over for this Kal." Her voice is scolding. Forgetting her need to be gentle. Damn it! She's had to deal with Lois hounding her incessantly for weeks, feeling guilty for misplacing it and he's had it!

"Kal, give me the laptop!" She demands, ignoring Clark's vehement shake of his head in response.

"I need to give it back. It doesn't belong to you." She informs, as if speaking to an obstinate child. She knows he's in a sensitive state right now but maybe what he needs is to let Chloe go... beginning with that laptop. It's quite possible that it took eons for Jena to recover because she siquestered herself in the home she shared with her bonded life-mate, continually surrounded by the life they'd shared. Maybe if she seperated from that life... Damn it! Either way it couldn't hurt and Lois could stop nagging her about the friggin little piece of archaic technology.

"No!" Clark snarls, glaring fiercely at his cousin. "It belongs to _us_."

'_You can't keep running away, Clark.' _His Chosen informs.

Suddenly his eyes go wide with panic. He can't fight Kara off. He's powerless against his cousin as he is now. Clark looks up at her frightfully. "Please don't take it away Kara. I… I need it."

She swallows hard,choking back the tears forming at the sight of her cousin's distress. He's so feeble. How can a being so powerful be reduced to this? "Yes Kal-El." She nods slowly and rises from her seated position, unable to bear the anguish in her baby cousin's eyes. Whatever he needs, he shall have. Kara decides. She's superpowered, she can deal with the loud mouth of a mere human. "I'll go and um…" She doesn't know what to do. Jena got over it, Kara reminds herself. Kal-El will get over this also. Rao, she feels so powerless to help him. Is there anything she can do?

--

The night's air wafts around her, cool against her bare skin. Chloe doesn't mind, she welcomes the contrast to her heated flesh. Sitting out on Oliver's balcony, sightlessly watching the landscape, Chloe closes her eyes to the view. She attempts to block out the sounds of Metropolis beneath her, needing the darkness to concentrate.

Breathing deeply, she allows Clark's displaced scent to fill her, to consume her, drowning her senses. Leaning back into her chair, Chloe relinquishes control, surrendering to the persistent buzz assailing her body. Giving into the sensation, she allows it to remind her; to take her back to the beginning.

It comes to her in flashes of memory, his scent, his heat, the feel of his nearness. Clark was standing over her, his massive body enclosing her, confining her to the alley wall. She wanted him; desperately wanted to possess him, but knowing she couldn't. His scent was there then, surrounding her, overpowering her and then… there was something else. She felt him. He wasn't touching her, practically over an inch away, but Chloe's certain she'd felt him. He was encompassing, blanketing her body with his heat, his energy, his essence. And oh how she craved it, wanting more, ravenous for more. She needed him, needed his touch… a piece of him to keep with her always. She wanted it so badly, her body shook with need. And when she looked into his luminous eyes… blue. They were a clear blue, glowing in the darkness of the alley. Unrecognizable, but oddly familiar. Unsure how, but Chloe was certain she knew those eyes intimately. They called to her, resonating to her core. Those strange eyes were pleading with her, begging for a piece of her, just as she begged for the same. She gave in immediately. Chloe remembers the feeling of being submerged, touching his soul and for a moment it was as if he'd touched hers… and at once it was too much. She'd gotten what she'd wanted, what she'd felt she needed and it was entirely too powerful, too intense too... God it was everything, all of him at once.

At that moment, Chloe saw all of her strength, everything she'd been trying to accomplish in their separation crumbling at her feet. She realized she was losing the battle, and the idea of going back to the way they were, the thought of going back to Clark unchanged, frightened her. She needed it to stop. She wasn't ready yet… but strangely she was. Something in her was yearning for the completion, hungry for all Clark had to give and willing to give all of herself in return. Yet she fought against it, fighting the effects of him inside of her and shoved with everything in her, forcefully pushing him out of her, away from her - denying her desperate longing and his.

She couldn't go back, not then, not like that. He didn't belong to her, Clark belonged to Lana. To have to bare their relationship, feeling as deeply as she does… Chloe knew she wouldn't survive it again.

Opening her eyes, she sighs into the quiet night. This is better… well no, it's not better. His displaced presence is sure to drive her into utter and complete madness, but maybe if she stops fighting it, stops rejecting it and quit denying it's there, things will _get _better. She's overcome a lot in her young life and Chloe's sure she can overcome this as well… in time.


	33. ATROPHY 3

**ATROPHY 3 (Day 28)** Song: Circles by SwitchFoot

* * *

"I give you all of me." Clark whispers into the calming breeze floating around him. With his eyes closed, he lies flat and shirtless in the grass of the back field of Kent farmland absorbing the energy of the morning's light. The sun is resting high above; it's rays coating his skin and awakening his cells. Clark can feel it's energy coursing through him, soothing and invigorating his body. He sighs. Sol, empowers him. Sol is his protector and healer. He cannot be without it. She is Sol and he's come to realize he will not, can not endure without her.

Kara approaches slowly, curious to his current state and lowers herself to sit cross-legged in the grass beside him. For two days now she's been trying to coax her cousin back into the living or some semblance of living. Unfortunately, all of her efforts have proved fruitless. If he's not in the loft staring at nothing, he's talking to the memories of his Chosen. Thankfully, under the tutelage of Ben Hubbard, Kara has been able to glean some basic knowledge that's enabled her to take care of the cattle. Unfortunately, the land still needs to be tended and based on the message left, it appears some produce deliveries need to be made.

Yesterday, she was able to get him to sip some water, but from what Kara has seen, he doesn't eat or sleep or basically move; nor does he have any desire to. The only thing keeping her from calling Martha at this point, is that Kara's certain no human cure will suffice nor will mere human comfort do. He wants his Chosen but unfortunately both James and Lois have made it perfectly clear that Chloe doesn't want him. She can't help but feel powerless, her hands are tied and Martha has a life and responsibilities in Washington, to pull her away would be futile especially lacking the certainty of Kal's immediate recovery. She sighs, observing his relaxed position. His eyes are closed, arms at his side, his hands turned upward as if in supplication. He looks peaceful lying in the field and... out of his loft, thankfully. It seems promising. She can only hope that this is the emergence of his better days. "Kal, you've been out here all morning. Any chance I can get you to come into the house willingly?"

_Another day _

_Another sunrise _

_Another factory call _

In a startling moment of lucidity Clark addresses his cousin. His voice sounds out clear in the quiet morning and oddly lacking inflection. "Sol is our life's sustenance, it feeds us and heals our bodies. Sol empowers us. Do you think we can survive without it?" Kara draws a sharp breath. Surprised, she hadn't been expecting such clarity of mind but mostly from his speech, his words spoken in perfect Kryptonian.

She starts at the sound of their native dialect falling from his lips. Yes, she was fully aware of his knowledge of the language but never once has she ever heard him use it. Shocked to her very foundation, it stirs in her a strange mixture of sorrow, longing, happiness and confusion. Gazing upon him, she studies his idle position. Does he have any idea? Is this another symptom of his degenerative state? She wonders. Though his body remains still and inert her cousin seems fully cognizant. Yet he's speaking Kryptonian... as if it's an everyday occurrence. She shakes herself mentally and swallows.

Skeptical of the why's but mindful of this moment's significance, "Yes. We can survive without it." She replies also in their connatural tongue. "This earth's sun does not give us life Kal-El. It merely strengthens us."

His response is immediate, Clark anticipated her answer. "You are incorrect. We cannot be without Sol and maintain who we are Kara Zor-El. We cannot survive without it. Who we are, all that we are and are capable of relies wholly on this world's sun."

_Another night _

_Another sunset _

_Another freefall _

Clark opens his eyes, gazing vacantly into the bright sunlight. He lowers his voice, his words contemplative "I cannot be who I am without Sol. I will not survive without my Sol... Do you now understand?" He says slowly. The use of Kryptonian emphasizing his point with blunt unquestionable import.

Kara shuts her eyes tightly and swallows. The certainty of his words, the painful realization of their meaning - she understands. Rao did she ever! Kal will not survive without Chloe. He can not go on without his Chosen. "Yes." She breathes out painfully as if the word is dragged from her.

"If you understand this, why is it that you desire for me to give her up?" His words are leveled and void of accusation.

"I only wish for your recovery... to be as you were Kal-El." She explains.

_Am I alive? _

_Am I on purpose? _

"I can never be again who I once was." And truthfully, he didn't want to be. Clark Kent had denied who he truly was; buried himself underneath the fallacy of a normal life; sought to make himself weaker; desired to be less that what he is.

_Within the weakness _

"You call me Kal-El. My Chosen calls me Clark." Only now, with the confusion of who he really is, comes the crystal clarity of his life. Now he can truly see his desires, his wants and his needs. Chloe is his Sol. She makes him better than he is, better than he ever was.

_Within the weakness… _

"I desire only to be, who she wishes me to be." She'd accepted him even before he'd accepted himself. "Is it odd that she loved Clark Kent once? Yet I am not certain he ever really existed." He voices morosely.

"You are Kal-El of Krypton." Kara insists, the alien dialect carrying loudly over the peaceful calm of the fields. "...and you are Clark Kent of earth. You are both men. Nothing's changed."

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

"Everything has changed." He ripostes, before tuning the world out, shutting eyes and slipping back into his delirium.

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

--

Cool water splashes, soothing her feverish skin. Wave after wave the lake moves around her, flowing with every motion as she paddles and wades in the calming waters. A low chuckle claims her attention, calling upon her focus and raises her ire.

"Face it Chlo. You're no match for me." Clark's laughter sounds over the calm surface. "And you know it." He chortles.

Chloe narrows her eyes at him challengingly. Yeah, sure she knows she can't take him, but damn it, he doesn't have to be so smug about it. "You're not invincible Kent!" Well, technically he is but he doesn't have to brag. Asshole. Clark continues to laugh, a loud bellow of self-satisfaction that only incites her natural competitive inclinations.

"Argh!" Chloe screams in frustration and she pounces on him, climbing Clark's bare back as if he were a proud sturdy oak. His laughter increases as she tries fruitlessly to knock him off balance or dunk him in the water... shit or even just move him.

She raises herself, pushing up on his shoulders and brings her body down hard against his back. Rocking against him, her hands clinging tightly to his shoulders, she tries with all of her strength to flip him backward. Struggling mightily she digs her feet into his hips and pulls back as far as she can then roughly throws herself on him... yet accomplishes nothing but riotous annoying guffawing from her alien friend. Bastard.

Finally conceding defeat, or more so just exhausted from her efforts, she clings to Clark with her hands wound around his chest and her legs wrapped around his thighs. Chloe breathes deeply from the exertion. Her heaving chest gliding smoothly across his wet back. She sighs pleasantly, loving the feel of his body under hers.

To be close to him. That's all she's ever wanted, ever needed. From the first day she'd met him, there had been something inside of her that craved him, called to him. Up until that day, she'd never realized how empty she'd felt before he came into her life. True she was only 13, but even then she'd known... known that she loved him and that her life depended on him being in it. She knew from then she'd need him to go on. She's loved him from the very beginning, hungered for him before she really knew what desire was. There was something undeniably magnetic between them, something that even then clamored for completion, that drove her to kiss him. And from that first kiss, Chloe knew she'd damned herself.

She will always love this man, always crave him. And as the years progressed along with their friendship her craving grew and her love for him consumed her, sustaining only on fleeting touches and too short hugs. At moments like this, peaceful uninterrupted moments when the world seems quiet as if only the two of them exist, she savors and revels in his nearness, in the simple feel of him.

Chloe sighs again into his damp skin, this time from disappointment, as she begins to unwind from him. He doesn't belong to her. He doesn't love her as desperately as she does him. Clark's only had eyes for one girl and her name isn't Chloe Sullivan. She really needs to come to grips and hopefully move on. Unfortunately, even the thought of moving on, of being without him, sends her insides into a frenzy and drives her to near panic. This love she harbors is maddening and unreasoning and Chloe's given up trying to rationalize it.

As she begins to loosen her hold on his back and lower herself back into the water, Chloe feels Clark's hand wrap around her waist and even as her mind begins to compute that Clark is reaching behind him, in one deft movement, Chloe finds herself plastered to his front. She gasps at the suddenness and blinks up into his darkened green eyes.

Clark's gaze is fierce and boring into her with an intensity she's never seen from him. His breathing picks up as if he's been running a sprint; as if he's exerted himself just as wildly as she has. Chloe blinks again as his eye color brightens, slowly shifting to a clear... blue? She can't look away. She feels it again, the inexplicable being clamoring inside of her; begging for him, begging for more; crying out for... something. Her body begins to shudder lightly with longing and desperate need, her fingers digging painfully - for her - into his shoulders. He pants heavily, his eyes continuing to cut through her as Chloe becomes aware of her own ragged breathing, her heart pounding brutally in her chest. Answering whatever call he's emitting with an unequivocal, resounding 'YES'. She needs this, needs him.

She knows as Clark's head lowers toward her, she knows as the sound of his breathing becomes haggard and rough, she so knows that he's about to kiss her; that after this moment nothing will be the same. She knows deep inside that Clark is also answering her silent plea. She's so certain, until Clark blinks and she's suddenly flying backward, hitting the water hard. Waves crash and disperse from the force and collide together once again to submerge her in their depths. She finds her feet and rises to the surface, sputtering from shock.

Chloe looks over at Clark as she brushes her wet hair from her face, gasping for breath. A small sheepish smile curving his lips, he looks almost wistful, remorseful... Fearful? She shakes her head. It doesn't matter. Whatever just transpired between them, doesn't matter. She's already resigned herself to the doom of unrequited love and anything more would be messy. Still that something inside of her mewls and cries with desperate, agonized longing. Ignoring the feeling, she breathes deep and decides avoidance is her friend, she wouldn't mention their moment, as a matter of fact, it never happened. Just another perfect memory to be stored away in the recesses of her mind. Another treasured moment that never occurred to be added to her overflowing memory box, Chloe thought ruefully. Denial... they were masters of it. She huffed silently. Turning her focus on her quietly thoughtful friend, a deep frown marring his perfect features, he looks lost in his introspection. Whatever he's thinking it doesn't matter. Nothing happened, nothing will ever happen. She shrugs internally resolving to get their friendship back on even footing and sends a sudden splash of water in his face.

Startled out of his meanderings, Clark's eyes widen in shock as she charges him, splashing and spraying him relentlessly until he's once again roaring with laughter. Dodging her approaches and dunking her effortlessly into the lake water, Clark is crowing with masculine pride. They continue to play in the waters at Crater Lake, so absorbed in each other they'd never even noticed when Lois snapped a picture of them.

_Another day _

_Another lifetime _

_Another engine stalls _

"What you got there?" Lois' voice brings her back into the present.

Sitting behind her desk, Chloe is unconsciously fingering the very same photo of Clark in her lap, lightly tracing his face and powerful physique. "Do you remember this day?" She asks. Clearly distracted in her rumination. Clark. Beautiful Clark.

Lois peers over her desk and sees the picture she'd taken of Chloe and Clark. She remembers that day. They'd been so carefree, so happy... so hot. "Yeah I remember." She answers grimly. "The twins got so sun-burned. I couldn't wear a bra for a week."

"I remember." Chloe says flatly. She remembers how happy Clark had been, how bright his smile was, how his body seemed to glow in the sunlight.

_Another line _

_Another freeway _

_Another freefall _

The low distant tone in her cousin's voice in addition to the fact that Chloe hadn't once looked at her, alerts Lois that her cousin's words weren't actually in reply to her or in regards to the suffering of her poor boobs. But damn it, they did hurt and she has decent size breasts; she needs the support and to have to go without a bra for a week... well, it was a little raunchy, even for her.

"I haven't seen him smile like this since." Chloe whispers, bringing Lois back on topic.

And not for the first time, Lois notices the state of her disheveled cousin. Chloe, her little cousin who's meticulous about her appearance when at the Daily Planet. Her cousin, who took her job very seriously. Her cousin, who is now sitting at her desk, seemingly oblivious to the world around her; whose hair is in a haphazard pony-tail and wearing a ratty too big Smallville High t-shirt that Lois has a sneaking suspicion belongs to Clark.

"Chloe?" Lois questions. Maybe if she could just get her cousin to look away from the photo, possibly focus on her... "Chloe?"

_Am I alive? _

_Am I on purpose? _

The small blonde lets out a sudden gasp, a quiet dry sob as if she was holding her breath. Air rushing into her lungs, Clark fills her, floods her. Chloe shuts her eyes tightly. She needs him, needs his smile, needs his touch, needs his green... blue eyes boring into hers. She needs to see him, to feel him.

"Chloe..." Lois frowns, noting with immense concern the signs of fatigue and exhaustion in the dark circles under Chloe's eyes along with her cousin's rapid blinking which she always does when she's fighting sleep. Lois swallows, trying fervently to gain Chloe's attention without revealing her own distress. "...maybe... maybe you should go home."

_Within the weakness _

"Home?" Chloe drawls lowly. The simple word rolling lazily on her tongue. Clark is her home. Maybe she does need to go home. She needs home. Something paws painfully at her insides, agreeing with that assessment. But no, he's refused her. He's made his choice.

"And you should try getting some sleep." The brunette encourages.

_Within the weakness… _

Chloe finally raises her head, her eyes wide yet clouded, unfocused, Lois doubts she even sees her. "I can't sleep." She rushes out, her voice bordering on frantic as if she'd had too many espresso shots. "I can't sleep with him around me... covering... it's too warm... like summer and sunshine... he surrounds me. Can't sleep."

Lois gasps, her eyes filling with unbidden tears. What the hell is happening to her cousin? God, not like Aunt Moira. Please, not Chloe! Lois despairs. "Chloe... I'll take you to Smallville with me." Lois says tenderly. "Come back home with me."

The blonde shakes her head wildly. "Smallville, not Smallville... the place" She shuts her eyes tightly. She can't go back to Smallville. She isn't strong enough to be so close to him and not be near him, if he rejects her... Too close. Too close to Clark. Too close to... "Kal-El" Unconsciously, the name falls softly from her lips, stirring something desperate and inexorably needy in the depths of her. Kal-El. Not Clark, but Kal-El. Her insides quake in recognition of that name. His name. Kal-El

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

Seeing the far away look in her cousin's eyes and hearing the increase in her breathing, Lois persists, "Chloe... look... OK, no Smallville, but..." She looks around, assessing the pull-pen, ensuring they haven't gained any attention, before she crosses over to Chloe. Kneeling before her obliviously unhinged cousin, Lois lowers her voice to a whisper. "Chloe, you really should go home and rest. You'll feel better and... and I'll come by and um... we can spend the night, just like old times. Like... like a girls night." She fosters a tight smile in encouragement.

Chloe looks down at Lois silently for a beat. Noticing for the first time, not only Lois but the concern hidden in her cousin eyes. She hates that Lois is so worried for her but she just doesn't understand. Lois doesn't understand this emptiness, this fullness inside of her. Lois couldn't begin to comprehend the need she feels. How desperately she craves Clark. Still Chloe can't bare to see the silent anguish on her behalf any longer, smiling wanly, she acquiesces. "OK Lo."

"I'll come by later."

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

"That's not necessary." Rising from her chair, Chloe grabs her jacket and shrugs it on as Lois scrutinizes her sluggish, sloppy movements. "I'll be fine." The brunette stops her as she passes by, pulling her into a tight affectionate hug. She pats Lois' back awkwardly as her cousin tightens her grip.

"I'll take you..." Lois informs and seeing the protest forming on Chloe's lips, insists ardently, "... it will make me feel better Chlo." She collects her belongings swiftly and turns to the waiting blonde. Nodding mutely, if it will make her cousin feel better then... Chloe allows Lois to usher her out of the hustling newsroom.

--

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

A starling yowl of desperation reverberated through the quiet house followed by a loud crunch, causing Lana to stumble in her entrance to the kitchen. She swirled around swiftly, her eyes wide and round in her fright. "Kara?" She calls cautiously, hesitating to approach the frazzled blonde.

Kara flings the crumpled phone against the wall shattering it to bits. Lana flinches, on reflex raising her arm in defense of the scattering projectiles.

"Damned human technology!" Kara grumbles. "Why bare the means to communicate, if you won't make use of it." She practically pulls her hair out as a long string of Kryptonian words flows from her mouth angrily. Lana cringes from the display, though she doesn't understand a word, she's pretty certain Kara's spiel can't be repeated in polite company. "Kara?" She calls again. Unsure of how to approach a pissy erratic young adult with limitless powers. For Lana, seeing Kara so unnerved is, well… unnerving. It is very much uncommon to see the blonde so unhinged. Usually Kara act very well adjusted, even in her childish quips and annoying niggling she has always been very composed. This? This is new and… unsettling.

Still muttering irately to herself, Kara stomps from the kitchen into living room. Going to the coffee table, she leans over, rummaging through the papers, flinging discarded items absently out of her way. "Rao! Where is it?"

"KARA!" Lana barks.

The blonde Kryptonian's head swivels slowly in response, her eyes narrowed in her agitation. Lana steps back from the cold regard in Kara's steely eyes. "I… is everything… alright?"

Kara straightens up slowly, her eyes widening slightly in dawning recognition. "Lana." She breathes, relaxing slightly as she approaches the smaller girl.

"What happened?" The brunette questions, still backing away cautiously, not certain of the alien's intentions.

Kara takes a deep breath before she speaks. Calm, she needs to calm down and be rational. Rao, this is going to kill her. "Lana, do you remember when you asked me if I liked you?"

Pursing her lips tightly, Lana nods brusquely, not really caring for the reminder of this aliens regard for her. She straightens her back defensively, preparing herself for whatever barb it seems she's about to be pelted with.

"Well, I told you 'I didn't know you'." Kara continues, trying to remind the smaller girl of the incident. Slow humans such as Lana had very short memories, especially if said incident didn't pertain to praising them.

"I remember." Lana replies curtly. Where the hell is she going with this? She knows how Kara feels about her. It's not like this alien's opinion really matters anyway.

"I was being polite." Kara adds. "I don't like you and after this month I like you even less. You're self absorbed, absurdly haughty when you really have no reason to be, thinking yourself far more important than you actually are and frankly… you're annoying." She finishes calmly, as if her insults are common knowledge.

The tiny brunette seethes, bristling in anger at Kara's words and her blatantly dismissive attitude. "You little…"

Rolling her eyes, Kara pushes on, cutting off the insignificant human's words, "I say this because I do not want there to be any misgivings. It is not my sole intention to insult you, I'm just making it clear how I feel."

"Why…" Lana shuts her eyes and breathes deep to temper her rage. "…Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I need your help and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Kal-El is…"

"Clark." Lana snaps. She hates that name. Kal-El. It's so… so alien.

Kara rolls her eyes again. Rao, why did she have to suffer this girl? "Semantics." She states. "Clark, Kal, same person. And both incarnations are not well."

"What do you mean?" Lana asks, folding her arms across her chest.

Considering her silently for a moment, Kara narrows her eyes speculatively. "Have you not seen the state he's in?" Is this girl serious? Anyone that has eyes, can see her cousin is unstable.

Lana looks down in unease, avoiding the blondes reproachful glare; showing for the first time some semblance of contrition. "Clark doesn't want me near him." She begins to explain, looking up to meet Kara's eyes, with hopeful understanding and tucks fallen strands of hair behind her ear nervously. "I figured that once he gets over his irrational anger towards me… for whatever reason… we'll work on our relationship then."

Kara wants to gape at her logic. Is this girl really this daft? But unfortunately, with everything that she's come to know about Lana, this is not beyond reason. In Lana's mind, everything revolves around her. Not for the first time Kara wonders what her cousin ever saw in her that would evoke such devotion in him. "Lana, I do not have time to coddle you and your feelings.…" Kara speaks slowly, ensuring she has the human's full attention and needing her implicit understanding. "…Kal is sick. Right now, he is not in the right state of mind."

Lana nods thoughtfully. That makes sense. Clark would never refuse her if he was thinking clearly.

Kara continues. "And he's getting worse. I left him out in the field a little while ago, he'll probably go back to the barn."

"Is it some sort of meteor rock poisoning?" Lana inquires.

Shaking her head, Kara answers tightly, "No. Anyway, I want to stay with him, but I need to go to Metropolis to speak to Chloe. Can you please stay here and keep - as much as a mere human can - keep an ear out for him. But don't approach him."

"What do you mean? If he's sick then he needs me. He needs people that love him, around him. And why do you have to speak with Chloe? Isis' computers would be more efficient than anything the Daily Planet has to offer. We should go to Isis."

Shutting her eyes Kara breathes deep. Why oh why, is it her? She clenches her hands into fists at her side, restraining herself from strangling this… this… "Lana!." She snaps. "My business with Chloe is just that. And if you love him as you claim… which is clearly still debatable, you'll take my advice and stay away from him."

"I love Clark. Clark loves me. He's just not in the right state of mind, you said so yourself." She exclaims indignantly.

"Kal's feelings for you are definitely questionable." Kara whispers to herself. Addressing Lana she adds. "It is not my place to interfere in your relations with Kal. But I should warn..."

Lana waves a dismissive hand, halting Kara's words and raises her head loftily "I don't want to hear it. You're right, it's not your place. Maybe it's time you remember that."

Rolling her eyes, Kara growls out a "Whatever." while breezing out of the door in a gust of annoyed wind.

--

_Spinning out in circles _

_In circles, in circles _

"Lois."

Startled out of her contemplation of her own cousin, Lois jumps. Surprised to see Kara, standing over her with a purposeful intent gleam in her eyes. "Hey Kara." She greets distractedly, turning back to her blank computer screen and switches it on.

"Where's Chloe?"

"She went home." Lois' matter of fact reply comes out as she types in her password. Where's Chloe? Lois wonders silently. That's a great question. Lois is at a loss of what to do, of how to help her. She's heard enough horror stories about the condition of Belle Reeve to better than to take her little cousin there. But she has to call someone, she has to do something...

"To Smallville?" Kara prods.

A bit perturbed with the interruptions of her thoughts, Lois answers in distraction. "No the pent house."

"Where is it?" The blonde nearly growls. Her frustrations with humanity at it's peak.

The obvious agitation in Kara's voice tugs on Lois' already worn nerves. Lifting her head, she considers Kara for the first time then narrows her eyes incredulously. Whatever is going on with Chloe, most definitely has to do with Smallville and here is the hayseed's cousin, asking about her slightly crazy yet still cuddly cousin. Kara must know what's up. "Why do you want to know?" Lois finally responds. Kara wants to know where Chloe is, maybe she'll be forthcoming with her own information. Quid Pro Quo.

"I need to speak with her." Kara ripostes.

"About what?" She counters coolly. Not deterred in the least by Kara's short answers.

"It doesn't concern you."

Lois snorts humorlessly, "Doesn't concern me?" Rising from her chair in a blatant show of defiance and intimidation. "Uh uh. Try again." She crosses her arms in front of her, and shifts her weight, cocking her hip and continues. "You want to know where my cousin is. I want to know why. Because if this has anything to do with that idiot heart-breaking hick cousin of yours and Chloe's flawless Girl Interrupted performance, I need to know about it."

Kara shakes her head bemused and prepares to respond when Lois pushes on. "Ever since Chloe has moved to that little meteor magnet of a town, that big oafish bastard has caused her pain. And I'm telling you…"

"Kal was conceived in a bonded union." Her hackles rising in visible offense, Kara voices short and clipped. "And this has nothing to do with you Lois. I'm advising you to stay out of this!"

Lois takes a threatening step forward, so riled up she doesn't notice the curious looks garnered by their confrontation. "Or what?" She challenges.

"I assure you, you don't want to fight me Lois." Kara warns lowly. "Besides, this is not about you."

"I don't think so little Kent." Brushing her bangs out of her eyes with an agitated flip, Lois continues, returning her arm to it's crossed position. "You may be the new kid on the block, but when it comes to my cousin I'm all in."

"Like wise." Giving one curt nod, Kara steps forward as well and clasps her hands around Lois forearms, more to force her focus rather than to incite a physical reaction. "Now I'm warning you Lois. I don't want to hurt you…" Her words soliciting a smug disbelieving laugh from the brunette but Kara continues ignoring Lois' goading amusement. " …all I need is to find Chloe. Please help me." She finishes staring Lois directly in the eyes. Hoping the urgency and seriousness is transparent to her.

Seeing the desperation reflected in the blonde's gaze, cools most of the protective rage inside of her. Lois breathes deep, realizing that while she is looking out for Chloe, Kara may just be looking out for Clark as well. " I don't have a problem with you Kara. Honestly, I really like you… but I love my cousin. So…" She shakes her head and steps out of Kara's reach. "… sorry, understand or not, I can't help you."

Kara looks down and swallows thickly. She understands. She hates it but she understands. Kara would do the same for Kal-El if she thought he were in any danger of even getting his heart broken. That's the problem isn't it. Licking her lips, she glances up at Lois helplessly before turning to exit and whispers a sullen. "Thanks."

--

_I've lost all that I wanted to leave _

"Where is it!" Clark yells as he storms through the back door into the kitchen. A small tremor shakes the walls of the old farm house at the force and strength of his bellow.

Lana spins around from the kitchen counter. In her shock she drops the dish on which she was preparing lunch. "Clark?" Her voice quivers slightly, surpise and fear holding her motionless. Not good. This is not good at all.

Clark's eyes are dark, wild and violently feral as he comes to a stand-still and swallows back the noxious feeling of her close proximity. "Where? Is? It?" He snarls.

The tiny brunette opens and closes her mouth silently, staring quizzically before shaking herself out of her stupor. "Where is what?"

_I've lost all that I wanted to be _

Grabbing fistfuls of his tussled hair in his hand, he tugs in frustration. "Don't play fucking games with me Lana! You took it and I want it back!"

She shakes her head, her eyes wide and never leaving him. "I..." She croaks, her mouth suddenly dry, Lana swallows and tries again. "...I don't know what you're talking about."

God, he wants to strangle her. But he can't get too close... any closer and his skin will burn off, Clark's sure of it. Why the fuck is she acting so innocent? She took it and he knows she took it! Clark leans forward so that he meets her eyes directly and growls. "Watson. Where the fuck is it Lana?"

"Watson?"

_Don't believe that there's nothing that's true _

Clark howls in rage and frustration and slams his closed fist down onto the island counter, shattering it with one violent blow. Lana jumps back in horror, tears beginning to prick her eyes. "You took it. I know you took it! Give it back now!" He demands. All he wants is the laptop. Why is she doing this? Just the laptop, that's it. It's all he has left.

The tiny terrified brunette holds up her hands in a gesture of submission. Attempting to mollify him, hoping to calm him, hoping they can discuss this reasonably. "Clark..." She begins levelly, her voice steady though inside she's shaking with fear. "...I promise you. I didn't take Watson. I swear."

_Don't believe in this modern machine! _

"Your promises are worth shit! I know you took it Lana." He ignores her denial in the shake of her head. "You were in my loft. I smelled you. You were there!" He shouts. Why would she take it? She trying to take Chloe from him! Just like she pushed his Chosen away. She's trying to erase her! Clark growls. Forget the sickness she evokes in him, if she doesn't give him back what's his, he's going to snap her fucking neck! Clark takes a step toward her, but stumbles in his approach. All of sudden, the power and energy he felt surging through him dissipates leaving him winded and exhausted. He intakes a ragged breath. Unfortunately with every inhale, exhale he feels even more depleted. She did this! She's doing this to him! Taking everything he has from him.

"Clark?" Lana steps toward him in concern, noticing the lack of stamina as he props himself up on the remnants of the kitchen counter and breathes heavily.

He looks up at her, eyes pleading, begging for her mercy. All he wants is to get the laptop back. "Please Lana." He implores. "I just need it back. Please."

_In circles _

She looks down and swallows before raising her head to address him. "I'm sorry Clark. But I don't have it."

"Then where is it?"

"Maybe Kara took it." She suggests lightly.

"No." He cries desperately. "She wouldn't do that. She knows how..." His words cut off as he stumbles back swiftly but clumsily upon her approach. "Don't!" He holds up a trembling hand, to stay her movements. "Don't come any closer!"

_Spinning,_

Dumbfounded by his reaction, Lana stills. Why is he treating her this way? She only wants to help him. "Clark, I just want to help you."

"Where's Kara?" He looks around him wildly. He needs his cousin. Where is she? God, why did she leave him here with Lana? "Kara can help me. Not... not you." He shakes his head, tripping his way into the living room backward, intent on keeping his eyes on the tiny poisonous brunette, hopefully she won't make any sudden moves. She's like one giant piece of green-K. Why did Kara leave him? Why does everyone always leave him? Clark wants to scream, he wants to cry. He think he may already be.

_Spinning  
_

"Clark you're sick. Let me help you. You need to be taken care of." She says soothingly. Her voice whispery and light. Lana walks slowly towards him.

"Where's Kara?" He whimpers as he falls to one knee. God, why won't she just leave him alone? Please! He grabs the armrest of the couch in one hand struggling to hoist himself up.

"She went to Metropolis."

_In circles  
_

"To get Chloe?" He looks up at her and the hopeful sparkle, the shimmering gleam of anticipation in his eyes stop her in her tracks.

"No Clark!" She snaps abruptly, killing his hope dead. His eyes go vacant and blank, the despair in his face is undeniable. "Why don't you just let me help you?"

_In circles  
_

Clark swallows back a sob and nods absently. It doesn't matter if she makes his skin crawl. It doesn't matter that the laptop is gone. Nothing matters. His insides ache and he just wants it to end.

Descending upon him swiftly with his consent, she leans down to him, pulling one solid arm over her shoulder she holds tight to his hand and circles her other arm around his waist. Lana struggles to pull him up. Clark is massive and even without his powers he's a huge, healthy hulk of a man and with her diminutive size, getting him upright proves to be a near impossible feat.

She'd planned to take him up to his bedroom but unfortunately couldn't manage his weight. With all the strength she can muster, Lana is only able to get him situated on the couch.

_Spinning out in circles  
In circles, in circles  
_

Clark lies back on the couch as Lana lifts one leg and then the other onto the cushions. He doesn't even have the strength to do it himself, he doesn't even care. She unties his work boots and drops them to the floor with a loud clunk. "You need me now Clark. I am going to help you. I'm here."

"No." His protest falls from him in a listless drawl, holding none of the vehemence he intends. Weak in both body and spirit. He can feel it coming upon him, submerging him in it's depths. Clark gives in and surrenders to the drawing darkness.

_Spinning out in circles  
In circles, in circles  
_

Closing his eyes, he can still here the other one above him, talking about going... going where? Is she going to Isis? He's grateful she spends most of her time there. Isis is in Metropolis. Maybe she'll go to Daily Planet. Maybe she'll talk to his Chosen. Maybe... "Will you bring Chloe back to me?" He forces out in a raspy plaintive whisper and before he succumbs to the welcoming oblivion, Clark hears a sharp gasp above him, followed by ragged breathing and a loud consecutive clanking receding from him. Finally, the sickening churn inside of him subsides giving way to an uneasy peace, preceding the violent slamming of a door. Then all is quiet and still as Clark slips into unconsciousness.


	34. FISSURE part 1

**Fissure**

She is not enough... isn't doing nearly enough. Shrouded in complete and wretched failure Kara chases the setting sun to the now familiar corn fields of Kansas. One promise made, she has but only one task... look after and protect Kal-El. And for 18 years it is a promise and task she has yet to accomplish. For 18 years, she has failed him, proved to disappoint them. Defeated, she flies swiftly and stealthy through the fiery sky. Coming upon the old yellow farm house, she slows to stop. Pausing mid-air, Kara hovers above the Kent ancestral lands. Intaking a slow ragged breath, the hopelessness settling on her was constricting as she looks to the descent of earth's yellow sun. She can't move, can't decide where to move, doesn't know where to go from here. She is dusk. The time when Sol sits on the precipice between night and day, failure and success. Wading between direction, in wait of an answer. An answer, that she _should _have, that _should _be known to her, yet holds itself far from her and just out of reach. All of the strength given her, all of the limitless power provided from Sol, yet Kara can't help but feel impotent. Heavy with guilt and weighted with her own inadequacies, she descends, touching down lightly on the back porch.

With a heavy sigh, Kara clenches her eyes shut, choking back the abrupt assault of helpless frustration. What good is she? Why be given such boundless power if she can't help those closest to her, her only living relative? What's her point, if she is but to fail? Rao, help her! She knows now. She cannot save him, cannot protect him. And knowing this, her abject failure weighs all the more heavier.

She casts one last weary glance to the waning light as she climbs the porch steps before entering the quiet house. Kara's steps falter upon opening the door. On guard and alert, her mind quickly assess and catalogues the damage in kitchen, while her heart quickens to a panic - island counter destroyed; a plate shattered on the floor. No other signs of struggle, no blood found on any visible surface. Her mind scrambles briefly in anxiety and fear, piecing together what may have occurred in her absence. Closing her eyes, Kara reaches out with her hearing, desperate to hone in on any sounds of life from the two other occupants of the house.

Slow and deep respiration and the familiar steady rhythm of her cousin's heart beat, assures her of Kal's whereabouts… but what of the other one? Kara's eyes pop open as the unusual sensation of fear creeps up her spine, chilling her to her core and leaving her breathless. Where is Lana?

Briefly she surveys the kitchen once more before she swiftly makes her way into the living room and over to her unconscious cousin.

Kal-El." She whispers. Searching the living room for any clues, any hint that all is well. Kara checks him over, scanning Clark from head to foot. Noting his placement and confiture, the old quilt snugly covering his prone form, his work boots tucked neatly beside the couch attests to his assistance. Nothing else appears to be out of place

Given her cousin's deteriorated mental state, he couldn't, wouldn't possibly have the forethought to situate himself so comfortably. No, this was Lana… or maybe Aunt Martha. A spark of hope lighting her chest, until Kara shakes her head dismissing the encouraging thought, she didn't smell a hint of her aunt's signature in the area. No, this was definitely Lana.

Fitting the pieces together mentally, Kara deduces, if Lana had helped Kal to the sofa and tucked him in, it had to have been after the kitchen. Meaning she probably isn't hurt. Oh Rao, please don't let her be hurt? Kara pleads silently.

Eyes fixed on her inert cousin. Her heart is laden, heavy with sadness for him. She so badly wants to help him, desperately _needs _to help him. It is her job, her duty. Leveling her hand above his face to smooth the hair from his eyes, she stops herself a breath away from his forehead. Not wanting to disturb him, her hand falls limply back to her side. She hopes beyond any measure of hope that Kal didn't harm the human girl. She knows that once he's recovered he would never forgive himself if he did. Looking around once again, Kara narrows her eyes at the opposite wall. Zooming in immediately, her sight cuts through paint, plaster and wood, and reaches to the front lawn finding proof of what she'd already suspected. Lana's jeep was missing. So if the girl wasn't hurt, where did she go? Gaze returning to the large Kryptonian; why would she leave him by himself?

---

It's the cold that wakes him. A frozen stillness surrounding him and a low imperceptible hum forces his eyes to snap open in awareness. Clark blinks, attempting to focus on the dulling light. Something called him, pulled him from the depths of his dreamless sleep. Propping his arms, he pushes himself into a sitting position, his breath forced outward with the effort. More than weary, more than exhausted, Clark raises his hands to his head, through his hair, down his face. Why is he so tired? Why does every movement seem like a feat, pushing him past his limit?

Looking around him at the dimming living room, the setting sun casts various fiery sparks of light through the opened windows; illuminating and blessing with the last vestiges of daylight. His salvation. He watches carefully, as the shafts of light, glow and then flicker, moving position then fading further. His salvation. He needs the light, needs it's healing energy before it descends. Closing his eyes, Clark breathes deeply, evenly, attempting to muster what little strength is left in him. The hum that had awakened him, a muted thudding at the back of his mind, pushes him forward and pulls him upward as he resolutely opens his eyes. He can feel the beast's breath heating his insides as it too rouses to life.

Struggling to his feet, Clark grunts as he comes to stand upright, his legs are unsteady beneath him, wobbling with each leaden step. The fear that he may not make it, that this time he may be too late grips him tightly, choking the remains of air from him. However, the beast protests against submission, it roars it's objection sending his insides quaking with each breath. He will not stop, he cannot stop. Uncertain of the why, he knows innately, the beast reminds him... his life depends on it. The weight of his body, forces Clark to fall on hands and knees. The ache upon impact provokes his body to convulse then pause, yet he will go on, he has to.

Consistently the thudding in his head urges him forward, calling him as he crawls through the living room. Clark struggles against giving up, cries against surrender. The beast claws at him in determination. He cries, and is horrified by his silent tears swarming his face, flooding the floor. His hand slips and Clark falls face forward in his own despair. Knowing, he did this as he sobs mutely. Clark knows that he let her down. A hands length from the door and he has no more to give. Shuddering violently, a loud anguished wale breaks from him as the waning light diminishes and all goes black.

Not like this! Please No! Not this! Clark screams, struggling against the consuming darkness. Terrified of this replete blackness soaking into him, crushing and binding him, blinding him and his senses. He can't feel, can't see, can't hear anything but this... this void, this... Darkness. That's all that he knows and breathes. Heavy, suffocating darkness blankets him, surrounds him. Clark's drowning in it. He'd tried mightily to avoid this. The nothingness that has replaced his Chosen's nightly visitations. Yet he can't escape it. He'd tried to fight against the void, suffering exhaustion and fatigue but in the end he's lost. Another thing he's powerless against, another symptom of his weakness. Clark can feel it seeping into his skin, the blackness drawing him further in, the loss is overwhelming and his own fragility undeniable. God, he hates this. He hates being so weak, abhors his own failings. He's had enough!

A gleam calls to him in the distance. Clark pushes towards it, mentally, physically. Heaving forward with the last of his strength. He needs to make it. He has to claim it. If he could just... But he can't. It's too far, too powerful. The desire to give in to the nothing, to surrender from this ineffective battle too seductive. He's weak, yet Clark can feel the emergence of something else, this thing inside more powerful than himself, someone more fit to take over. Ashamed and scared of his own shortcoming, he let's go.

It howls and roars in the deafening darkness, yet no sound is heard. Thrashing and clawing violently in the heavy blackness, yet still remaining motionless. The beast rages as he breaks free, clawing through and emerging from Clark's failings. Not right, no fairness. Kal-El is stuck in the despair of Clark Kent's making and he demands an ending. He wants what's his, wants what should have been his... Chloe. The light calls, beckoning him to salvation.

He will fight and Kal-El will not give in until victorious. He'll persevere where Clark could not. He will be the man Clark never sought to be. Where Clark hid and cowered in the shadows, Kal-El will embrace the light. Drawing upon the strength and radiance of Sol, he'll claim it. Claim her. Overcoming his former self's weakness and conquer. Beginning first with this surmountable cavernous darkness.

---

The whirring of the elevator as it approaches the pent house forces Chloe to stir from her prone position, wrapped snugly in a blanket on Oliver's plush sofa. She turns her head toward the sound, waiting to acknowledge the unexpected and severely unwanted guest. The metal grates and slams loudly causing Chloe to cringe in response as the elevator door widens. Click, click, click of spiked heels sounds on the hardwood as her visitor approaches.

Chloe's eyes widen in surprise, she forces herself with much effort to sit up in greeting. This was definitely unexpected, but should prove to be interesting. "Lana." She acknowledges dully.

The brunette nods brusquely. "Chloe." She counters icily. Coming into the living room, Lana stills for a moment, observing her 'friends' disheveled state. Shrouded in a thick blanket, blonde hair a tousled nest on her head, dark circles around eyes that used to be a vibrant green, but now appear pale and glassy. "Are you ill?__Lana inquires. She can see that Chloe clearly isn't feeling well but... always make time for the pleasantries. She sits in the leather ottoman across from the curious blonde and crosses her legs gracefully.

"I'm fine." Chloe ripostes easily. Narrowing her eyes at the demure brunette, she can't help but to wonder what she's doing here. Lana is definitely the last person Chloe ever expected to pay her visit, but then again maybe Clark... Chloe shakes her head dispelling the thought while pulling the blanket protectively tight around her. No, Lana is definitely one Chloe never thought would visit.

The silence stretches for a beat before she clears her throat, Chloe wades in with the obvious question. "What are you doing here and how did you get in?"

Raising her hand, Lana reveals to Chloe an all too familiar set of keys.

"Clark." Chloe breathes out in exasperation at the same time as Lana informs. "I borrowed them."

"What are you doing here?" The blonde inquires yet again.

Scrunching her nose in distaste, Lana gazes at her 'friend' inquisitively, ignoring her question in a show of blatant dismissal. "What's that smell?" She cranes her neck, looking around her searchingly.

Chloe tightens her hold on the blanket unconsciously. "Cinnamon and sage..." Her words are hesitant and oddly defensive. "...It helps to drown out his -" She cuts herself off bluntly, then narrows her eyes in irritation. She doesn't have to answer to her. She doesn't have to answer to anyone. "What. Are. You. Doing. here Lana?"

With a dramatic sigh, Lana folds her hands together over her crossed legs. "I need to speak to you about Clark."

"I don't talk about Clark."__Chloe shakes her head, refusing to go there with her. Her tone leaving no room for argument. Denying the acceptance of this topic... the topic of _him_. Can she ever escape him? God, why won't they leave her alone?

"Very well. Then you can listen." Lana ripostes. Though Chloe's non-responsive, Lana forges on. "Clark and I are trying to make a go of it. We're trying to be happy."

"Good for you. I don't see how this has anything to do with me." Chloe retorts easily, although having not meant to. She bites her lip in disapproval. She doesn't want to talk about him. She can not, will not be pulled in. Back stiffening and shoulders straight, Chloe hardens her resolve.

"See... that's my thought as well. But you cast Clark aside because he chose me..."

"Excuse me!" Chloe exclaims defensively. Forget not talking about him... this needs clarification. What the hell is she getting at?

Titling her head to the side, perplexed by the vehement outburst, Lana continues levelly. "Aren't you the one that confronted me at Isis... you won't let me hurt Clark. Isn't that what you said? Then almost immediately afterwards, you and Clark are taking a break. Is it because he chose to stand by me? He chose to love... _me_?" Lana smiles slowly and adds. "You didn't think he would, did you?"

"That's not the way..."

"In any case..."Lana waves a dismissive hand in the air, brushing aside Chloe's denial. "...He was angry after you kicked him aside, you know. But that didn't last long. You see..." Lana leans forward purposefully, wanting to meet Chloe's eyes directly. "... you know better than anyone how easy it is for Clark to take on guilt. So now, he feels guilty and blames himself for just wanting to be happy. He feels like he chose me over you... when all he wanted was to have love and friendship. When you know as well as I do that that's not his fault. It's not his fault that you've been in love with him since high school, nor is it his fault that you've never learned to let go. I don't blame Clark for that. I don't think you should either."

Chloe grimaces, horrified that she can't keep the tears from her eyes. She doesn't need this right now. She doesn't need this ever. "What do you want from me Lana?" She chokes out quietly. In truth, all Chloe _wants_ is to be left alone. And the sooner Lana says what she has to say, the sooner she can leave and Chloe can get on with the business of moving on. Isn't that what she's been trying to do anyway? Yet she can't deny that something thick and sickening churns inside of her at the brunettes words. She can't overlook the agony in Lana's truths.

"I want you to let him go." She shrugs apathetically. "He needs you to or he will never be happy."

"I haven't seen or spoken to Clark in weeks. What more...?" Chloe's voice is small and broken.

Lana nods curtly, all business. "He'll get over it and move on, he is trying to anyway. And I think the continued lack of communication from you will go along way in assisting."

"Fine." Chloe shuts her eyes, trying to prevent the spill of tears that have built up against her. "Fine." She repeats. Burying herself deeper into the blanket and the back of the sofa. "Is that all?"

Lana looks on stoically. "I think that will do for now." She responds coolly, uncrossing her legs and rising from her perch. "I hope you feel better soon Chloe." She adds in conclusion.

Her unconvincing sympathy, succinctly followed by another round of her spiked heels click, click, clicking on the hardwood floors. Some time passes before Chloe can hear the whirring of the elevator as it ascends, then finally the clank, metal grating and slamming of the elevator door.

Chloe breathes, opening her shut lids to the empty penthouse. She reclines once again into her previous position on the sofa as silent tears flow freely and unimpeded down her sallow cheeks.

---

Curled up on the arm chair across from her cousin, Kara waits. Kal hasn't stirred since she arrived. She's been sitting for an hour watching him, watching for movement, watching for anything, yet he remains motionless save for the rhythmic movement of his chest as he breathes.

She slowly blinks, finding it progressively harder to keep her eyes open each time her lids drift shut. The exhaustion weighs her body, smothering her mind. And yet she tries to fight it, needs to stay alert and observant. She owes it to him to stay conscious. Her body relaxes melting into the cushions of the armchair.

She'd sat across him, with the intention of keeping watch. After she'd cleared the debri in the kitchen in human speed; needing the distraction, needing to keep her mind occupied and away from worrying, and then cleaned the food off of the floor and prepared a light dinner for herself and Clark, Kara waited, hoping he wakes up to be himself again. Hoping he didn't wake and slept peacefully and uninterrupted, she waits. She waits until her body surrenders and breathing slows and her eyes succumb to the slumber waiting behind the closed lids.

---

He pushes forward, railing against this oppressive opposition. His right arm breaks away from the invisible binding, grasping frantically for something, anything to pull him out, to hoist him out. With a deep breath and monstrous roar he bowls forward, releasing his upper body.

The gleam blossoms, piercing the darkness in the distance. The light flickering, in and out, in and out, flashing wildly. Hunger, frustration, desperation and madness drives him onward. He will get there, he will consume it. Thrusting himself forcefully higher, Kal-El lunges with a crazed howl of determination, his lower body breaking through the forcefield. He _will _make it. Nothing can stop him, he dares anything to try. Knees now loosened from their transparent hold, he crouches low and then throws his body forward, freeing himself completely from the nothingness that held him captive.

Determined to go on, determined to catch the light before it's extinguished, he runs. Shoulders down, head first, arms and legs pumping fiercely. He has to make it. Has to... stop! Abruptly knocked backward at his advance, he's halted. An unseen barrier blocks his path quickly followed by a sudden swirl of living light that surrounds him. Caught in a whirlwind of images, bombarding his sight, one after the other after the other, after the next. Blinding him, in laughs and giggles. Clouding him in brilliant smiles and vibrant life. A whisper from his right caresses his face. _'What if they don't love him?' _Flowing past his ear, his cheek and across his lips, a tender touch. Then another from his left, _'his destiny is set...'_ then another, _'think you're so amazing'. _His Chosen's voice jolts through him, flooding his nerve endings with feeling, with overwhelming sensations. His body heats up, his blood pumps rapidly, furiously through his veins, seeping out through his pours. Everything is hot, everything scorches. Light hums and sings, resonating loudly into a cacophony of noise, and then throbs and pounds around him. Everything is sound, everything bedlam.

Kal-El shuts himself off to the sounds, closes off the fiery feeling. All that exists is _her_. The images flash... flash, FLASH. Her golden hair as bright as the sun. Her sparkling eyes as electric as the sun's energy. Her smile as luminous as the sun's light. Her touch awakens just as the the suns rays gives life. Her smell is as intoxicating as the first falls of sunlight on his skin. She is Sol! She is _everything_.

The images swirl rapidly, flying around him. She's in everything. She is all that exists. A kaleidoscope of images dancing to a rhythm, flowing, pulsing. They shift, closing in on him. Closer, Kal-El lifts his arm reaching out. She is everything and he wants it _all_. And all at once they collide, ripping into him, he screams in agony and ecstasy. The light, her life tearing him apart, going through him, passing from him. Kal-El is consumed. The searing heat begins anew. Everything is fire, all around him is flame, building to explosive. Then the pounding begins again, throbbing and pulsing, battering at his body and beyond. He can smell her near him. Kal-El can feel her pulse flowing in him. He exists only for her. He needs her here. He needs her now!

---

"_Jena?" Her voices carries through the shadows of the dim sitting room. _

_An outstretched hand peaks over the high back of the long chair some feet away, followed succinctly by a soft voice. "Little Zor-El." _

_Crossing the distance swiftly, Kara rounds the chair and plucks her friend's hand from the air as she crouches in front of her. Clasping Jena's hand between both of hers, she studies her friend's appearance. Swallowing thickly against the sudden swell of sadness. Jena, the vibrant and robust Jena, once full of life. Her hair usually the color of flame and just as hot now lay limp, dried and breaking. Her skin, always luminous and rich as pure honey appears sallow and ashen in the failing light._

"_You've heard." Jena speaks, interpreting the undisguised sympathy in her young friends eyes. Her voice dry and cracking from over use, from her agonized wails of death. _

_Kara barely nods, "I've come to sit with you." She says softly as Jena closes her eyes, her breath exhaled in shallow pants. Clutching Jena's limp hand to her chest, Kara lowers her head to her friend's affectionately, her cheek to hers. "My essence grieves for you."_

"_Do not grieve for me dear sister." Jena rasps out. "Grieve for yourself. For our acquaintance."_

"_I do not understand." Attempting to raise her head, Kara stills at the feel of Jena's hand on her head, running languidly through her hair, she closes her eyes, her soul aching for her friend._

"_I feel my death Kara Zor-El. I do not know who I am anymore."_

_A gasp escapes her as Kara raises her head. So much pain reflected in her friend's voice. So much agony._

"_You are a beloved sister." Jena continues. "I beseech Rao. May you never know the torment I feel." She shuts her eyes, a tear falling from her closed lids, Jena swallows and adds. "May you never bond."_

"_Oh Jena." Kara squeezes her hand, still held at her chest. "But you loved. You loved Ven. How..."_

"_I love him still." Jena cuts in. "Even now my essence cries out for him. How is it that my being flows in tandem with his? How is it that my very life force measures in time with his... when he ceases to be? What is this cruel torture that I live when he cannot?"_

Kara jumps, pulled abruptly from her tortured remembrance. Eye lids blinking rapidly in awareness. Something woke her. She isn't sure but... a loud grumble almost like a feral growl sounds from the sofa claiming her attention. Kara is on her feet swiftly and at oncce at her cousin's side.

Clark's body jolts yet he still slumbers, heaving forward and then back again. Garbled sounds ripping from his semi-parted lips. Kara frowns, standing over him perplexed. Should she wake him? Should she allow him to sleep on and wake when he's ready? She's unsure of what needs to be done. Which course of action to make. Can her actions harm him further?

Clark stills for a moment and the sounds cease. At peace, Kara breathes out in relief and runs a tired hand through her hair. And as if the stillness never existed, Clark's body begins to thrash on the sofa wildly, uncontrollably. UnGodly sounds of horror tear from his throat. Ceaseless is his over erratic convulsions and unending his bestial roars. Kara only momentarily watches in stunned wide-eyed silence before her body decides to act. No doubt if his thrashing continues he will shatter the sofa. No doubt if his screams get any louder, he will bring down the house. She grabs his shoulders hard, as tightly as she can, attempting to stay his body's movements. He won't still, won't cooperate. She tries to pull his body toward her, hoping maybe she can wake him from whatever nightmare has him entrapped. His arm shoots out swiftly, landing squarely in her stomach and suddenly Kara's flying back, back, backward. Her body hits the wall brutally, her neck cranes, her head falling forward as she crashes through and is propelled onward. It isn't until she felt the rays of morning light on her skin, it isn't until she blinks, that she realizes what's happened and her Kryptonian body once again gains control, halting her progress in mid air, she stops herself.

Kara shakes her head, pieces of wood and plaster scatter from her. Looking back toward the house and it's newly formed opening, the sound of his cries have stopped. She inches closer, uncertain of what she will meet. And from her distance, she can see his body rise slowly from the sofa. But there's something in his posture that threatens her. Something about the way he walks sends an inexplicable chill through her, leaving Kara frozen.

Kal-El looks around him stiffly, surveying his surroundings. He's back at Clark's home. He remembers this place, remember the love and warmth that accompanied this dwelling. But this is not it. There is no love or warmth without _her _here. Her heartbeat in his head, calls out to him. Cries out for him. She needs him just as much as his need for her. She is all that exists. Her pulse throbs rhythmically throughout his body. He must go to her. This bond must be completed. It is time.


	35. FISSURE part 2

**Fissure 2**

The morning rays stream brightly through the fissured wall flooding the living room of the Kent Farm house in dynamic light. Kal-El steps through the rubble, over the evidence – remnants - of this world's fragility. Guided by the illuminated path, his entire body is compelled and drawn to his source of power, of life. Rigid and alert, his foot falls with regal precision. Departing from the obscurity of Clark's life, Kal-El emerges in the welcoming morning with matchless conviction.

Eyes falling shut in gratification, his essence stretches beyond him, reaching for the life sustaining, empowering rays and rejoicing in its vigor, its power. It flows within him, coating and bathing him in nourishment. It is well, revitalizing yet not enough... never enough. The lack remains; the ever present emptiness felt within. He's incomplete and, unlike Clark Kent, will not deny his need for wholeness; will not deny his need for his Chosen. She is his and without her he cannot be.

Kara cautiously watches, from a careful distance, as _he_ feeds. Analyzing his purposeful movements; the sureness in his steps; the overwhelming surge of power that radiates from him hits her in erratic volatile waves. This man is not her cousin, not _her_ Kal. This man is something more... something much, much more; much, much worse, she decides. While observing the subtle transition in his posture; the hardening lines of his face, when effortlessly his concentration shifts from preparation to readiness.

He can smell her all around him; feel her presence in the waft of morning breeze. The taste of her fills his senses and her life's rhythm echoes raucously within. She is in everything and, without intent his body turns subtly toward the direction of Metropolis.

"Kal?" Kara calls hesitantly.

"Where is she?"

The blonde Kryptonian startles slightly by the inimitable demand in his voice. His powerful tenor assails the morning's tranquility; casting aside the peace that resided a mere second ago.

"I..." She begins tentatively, knowing her answer will be unwelcome. Yet it is when his head turns slowly toward her; when his eyelids open and his cold steely blue eyes focus on her with an intensity one would examine an insect through a magnifying glass and his gaze just as indifferent, superior and scorching; that she realizes, her answer will be more than unwelcome. The chilling resolute stare warns her of the grave repercussions to follow. This is not her cousin that looks upon her now. There is no recognition in his eyes, no warmth, nor any tolerance. Kara breathes deeply, straightening her back and steeling herself against his penetrating gaze, she meets his eyes with unwavering resolve, and answers. "I do not know."

Incensed heat blazes instantly in his eyes as he regards her, petrifying and holding her limbs captive in his deadly stare. Kal-El considers her carefully for what seems an eternity; gauging her honesty before he closes his eyes in concentration. And she then dares to breathe again; apprehensive to what will happen next.

He hunts within, wading through the blackened depths, digging into his being. Reaching into the pit of himself to contact the slumbering Clark, images race wildly through his mind's eye. He needs to find her and only Clark can show him the way. A sphere rises to the surface. _Her_ haven? Gold and gleaming in the sun's light, spinning on its axis... a monument to be seen from near and far. _Her_ home? A planet... The _Planet_. Her one true desire... The Daily Planet. It pulses in his memory, awakening a sudden and unreasoning possessive rage within him. Setting ablaze the edgy calm and alighting every nerve with renewed destructive purpose. Her one true desire? The Daily Planet is what he pulls from Clark's knowledge. His new target. His goal en route to his Chosen; the Daily Planet is the building he will demolish brick by brick; steel beam by steel beam until only _he_ exists. Until only _he_ remains as her _true_ desire. She belongs to him and... Kal-El can feel the wakeful stirring of Clark in his depths, pressing to be liberated. The weak one tries in vain to be released, struggling for dominance in his own protectiveness of his Chosen, _his_ Chloe. However, Kal-El, in his annoyance, stamps down at once suppressing Clark's fruitless efforts and dousing his foolish covetousness in a wildly fanned fury multiplied two fold by Kent's claim.

Kara stumbles back inadvertently when his gaze unexpectedly levels on her once again. In his eyes she can see the barely held intensity of his anger. What was only moments ago cold and piercingly dismissive, is now filled with a feral and, what looks to be, inexorable rage.

And suddenly, he's off. Vanishing so swiftly, his departure leaves a slip stream, bending the tall grass and rattling the earth below. Relief allows her body to relax, yet is short lived when instantly it's followed with an overwhelming sense of foreboding. Kara chases in flight ignoring her own apprehension and need for self preservation. She pushes herself at a speed she's never before dared. When spotting him at the Smallville city limits, she swoops down without hesitation grabbing his shoulders and pulls him backward. It isn't her intention but unfortunately, the power of his trajectory and the force she exerts to pull him to a stop, conflict and cause Kal-El to fall back. At the last minute, in their inhuman speed, he takes control of the descent. Bending his knees slightly, flipping his body, Kal-El thrusts his legs out in mid air. His feet connect brutally with Kara's chest, the force knocking the breath out of her and sending her flying though the air until she collides painfully and destructively with a tree. Limbs snap and shatter, wood splitters in two, breaking clean. Kara splits the oak nearly completely in half as her body falls and her back drags the length of the once sturdy oak now reduced to kindling.

She wheezes, her surprise evident when her body finally comes to rest at the base of the tree. Trying ineffectively to breathe through the pain in her chest and the knot in her back, she watches in trepidation as Kal-El approaches imperiously and unfazed, yet the anger previously displayed still intact. Unfortunately, she notes with dismay, it appears to now be aimed at her.

"You are our cousin Kara Zor-El." He begins without preamble flatly and very much detached, looming tall over the recouping Kryptonian. "Clark cares for you deeply." She can't help but hear the warning dripping from every steely word. "I have no need for you. Out of deference for our familial bond, I choose to advise you only once. It is not my wish to hurt you... but I will level the path between myself and my Chosen... and destroy any obstacle along the way."

"Kal..." She breathes, pushing herself up laboriously from the ground and discarding the broken timber and splinters. Ignoring the dizziness laying claim to her head along with the helplessness seeking to submerge her; she attempts to appeal to his need for his Chosen. "Let me help you." She implores. "You have only just awakened. If you... If you tell me where Chloe is, I can retrieve her and bring her to you." And hopes he doesn't note the desperation in her voice that, to her, is all too obvious.

His stare is unblinking and unnervingly appraising as Kara's entire being pleads for his assent. She knows if he doesn't agree, she'll have to stop him. She knows, she'll have to find a way. And this knowledge causes her chest to constrict in fear at the notion of going up against him by force. Yes, she is as powerful and super powered as he is, but Kal is so much more… boundless; having a decade and more to soak in the affects of Earth's sun as opposed to her mere months. Added to that, this person... this man who is not her cousin, seems to her to be every bit unreasoning and implacable. She fears this may very well be a fight to the death and prays fervently to Rao that she is wrong.

Slowly, purposefully, she raises her hand to his arm. The gesture meant as a sign of her benign objective, intending to draw upon the care of her cousin, she only hopes still resides within him.

And faster than even _her_ eye can track, Kal-El cuts short her attempt in mid-movement. His large hand grasping and fingers circling firm and formidable around her wrist. "Your assistance is not required." He finally answers, casting aside her offer and delivering his own form of advice while his hold tightens threateningly. "It will be wise for you to not interfere."

Kara swallows back the bile yearning to erupt out of her from the decision she has no choice but to make. He will not give in and unfortunately, given the blind and unconcerned destructive state he's in, she cannot allow him to go on.

While his grip is firm, it is not unbreakable. Forcefully wrenches her wrist from his enfold; she meets and matches his determination with her own. Straightening her shoulders and stands firm, unyieldingly erect in her resolve. "I'm sorry. I cannot do that."

His acknowledgement of what's to come is recognized with a barely visible nod of his head and once again Kal-El whips away.

And Kara follows immediately as if tethered. Instinctually, her body is pulled in pursuit of this stranger. Yet she's perplexed by his actions, wondering what exactly he's playing at. It is clear that they'd all but declared war and yet… he runs?

Then unexpectedly he turns, and it is when her body lurches forward by the sudden and surprising stop in her momentum; it's when she feels his large hand wrap tightly around her neck, lifting her off the ground, it is then Kara realizes her mistake. He'd wanted her to follow him, wanted her to _provoke_ him. His grip becomes like a vice and she gasps, her hand vainly clutching onto his wrist and her eyes widen in fear and comprehension – he won't attack her without provocation. Frantically, she searches his blue eyes; which burst with what seems to be an electric current of crimson… her cousin is in there somewhere. Clark must be buried beneath the hostile and harsh indifference. Kara knows her compassionate cousin still resides… somewhere.

"Is this what you want?" His Kryptonian words batter her oxygen deprived brain like a steel drum, cutting, biting, clanging. It's no matter, she reasons as his hand clenches her throat tighter still; wherever her cousin is, he is not the one in control and this fight – she so desperately hoped to avoid - is inevitable.

"It…" She tries to breathe. The edges of her vision begin to gray. Her eyelids flutter shut… she doesn't want to see him… can't bear to see the face of her cousin on this stranger, ensnared in the battle she must undertake. "It is… what I must do." She rasps.

Kal-El's hold constricts further, feeling the cords of her throat, the rushing of her blood beneath his fingers. "Then your fate is of your own making."

'YES' she screams silently. The internal howl reverberating through her entire body, rushing through her veins and carrying power to her every muscle. Swiftly, she draws her legs to her chest yet Kal-El thwarts her movement, grabbing her left calf and halting her attempt to free herself. She reacts rapidly, deftly kicking out with her right. Once, twice she jabs him in the head and he stumbles backward releasing her leg, but is unrelenting with his hold on her neck. She notices his arm drawing back, preparing to assault her and quicker than thought, her legs are over his shoulder. Her knees lock his head in place and her ankles cross on his back. Kara then stiffens, turning her entire body hard and flips him over onto his back, freeing herself from his grip. She coughs and gasps; frantically trying to gather her ground speedily and draw in as much air as possible as she unravels her legs from him.

However, Kal-El snatches her ankle and at once he lifts and lowers his arm powerfully, plowing her to the ground and again forcing what little air she has gained out of her. He lifts her again, before he rises and Kara braces both arms defensively attempting to shield herself from the impact, when once again he surprises her by suddenly whirling around throwing her backward into the unknown.

---

Clark's remonstrative howls; his fear, resounds within the never-ending abyss as Kal-El rushes forward, meeting Kara before her body touches down. His binding is immoveable, solid, however unseen. He struggles still. The need to preserve; the need to save is unquenchable. He cannot let this happen.

---

The big Kryptonian collides with Kara, yet the strength behind it is lessened unexpectedly, inexplicably. Kal rears again releasing a devastating blow, cracking her ribs and Kara cries out in pain. He beats her back, unleashing a series of super-powered, seismic punches. The force of which quakes the earth below and Kara sails further, this time downward. The steel skin of her back abrading the asphalt road beneath as she skids without fault on the dry earth. She grapples for a hold to stop her movement. Her hands gouge hard into the pavement to no avail, leaving parallel gorges in the road until finally with a mighty upward heave, she rights herself changing her direction. She flies fast and hard toward the stoically imposing figure. Super-charged and arms outstretched before her, she pounds into him mercilessly. Her hit like a hundred ton battering-ram to the chest, she pulls back and then repeats.

Kal-El falters, falling hard, his body shaking the world around them. She doesn't relent. Using her advantage, Kara grabs him by the hair harshly, and slams his skull brutally into the ground, the force creating a cratered head-rest beneath him.

The attack disorients Kal momentarily, allowing Kara to get in another succinct strike to the face and another to the gut. Once more she pulls back ready to strike, but Kal-El evades stealthily, leaning reflexively to his side and seizes Kara by the neck. Her fist tunnels easily through the abused pavement, yet before she can comprehend the change, he's slamming her down face first beside him and delivers a startlingly precise and scarily calculated jab to the ribs, once, twice. The malicious hits knocking all the air from her.

---

"Stop. Stop. STOP!" Clark rams himself bodily against the invisible hold. "STOP!" He bellows frenzied.

---

His hesitation is short-lived and imperceptible. Unaware of the reasons for the fleeting and inconsequential moment, Kal-El uses Kara's own moves against her, when grabbing her hair he proceeds to batter her face first into the ground. She can't cry out, she can hardly breathe. Yet she _can_ feel the bones in her face breaking. _Can_ feel the blood gushing hot and sticky… choking. The sound of bones snapping and crushing fills her head nauseatingly. She knows she can't take too much more. Reaching back frantically she grips his wrists and with a burst of strength and speed that surprises even her, she wrenches him forward, and twists while beneath him, ripping his hold from her – along with a handful of hair - and breaking his forearm from his elbow. The large Kryptonian clenches his jaw tightly holding back the torturous cry yearning to escape. While Kara presses forward, ignoring the ooze of blood slipping down her neck and soaking her shirt, ignoring the agony from the crushed bones of her face, she can already feel healing. She bounds upright with renewed vigor. Jab after jab, blow after blow she pummels into his chest, his neck, his face. Anywhere her fists can reach, everywhere her strength can inflect damage. The satisfaction she receives from his grunts of pain is only diminished by her sheer frustration and anger and before she can prevent it, Kara mindlessly pulls back leveling him with a blast of her heat vision, brighter and hotter than her rage. Kal-El roars in agonized pain at her unexpected attack and she freezes at once, both horrified and confused by her actions. It was too much, she scolds. She only wants to slow him down, stop him – not kill him. This… this violence… the acrid smell of burning flesh, makes her stomach roil sickeningly.

---

Clark feels it instantly. The build of heat, the scorching inferno; furious in its travels; unquenchable in its fiery determination. Too late he comprehends. Too late he screams, "Don't… No. NO!". Only for his voice to be silenced in its inexorable eruption.

---

Caught up in her own thoughts, her regret, she doesn't notice when his cries are muted nor does she witness the blazing doom in his glare now turned to her. It is only when the searing pain tears through her abdomen and simultaneously an excruciating scream unlike anything she has ever heard rips from her throat, Kara realizes her regrets are many.


End file.
